Yesterday I Broke Up With My Boyfriend

So very sorry for this tragic loss in your life. Please take care of yourself, take a break if you want since your health and healing is very important. I'll keep you in prayers.
 
My thoughts are with you. I believe Tamrin gave excellent advice, when you are ready to do so. Right now, you will go through the stages of grief and grieve as long as you need to, there is NEVER a time limit on grief and loss. Grieve in the way you want to do so, don't let anyone tell you how to handle your grief. You have to right to grieve how you need too.

:bighug:
 
I'm so sorry to hear this OP :( .. I lost someone very, VERY close to me last summer to suicide, the fact that you even have the strength to talk about it so soon is quite... commendable (if that's the right word) and is very telling on how strong of a person you are.

Just remember that if you stay strong everything will be okay, but at the same time it's okay to be weak sometimes. You'll have moments of weakness and that's okay. It's OKAY to cry when you feel like it. Tears cleanse the soul. Praying also helps, even if you don't believe in anything, pray, however you want, whenever you want.

What I realized after I lost my friend is that I only have one life, and I'm going to live it on my terms and I needed to live it in honour of her. He loves you and his spirit and the passion you have for him is not gone and don't ever let that flame die out, use it going forward in life and you will see how your life will transform :Yep: .. if you ever need to talk PM me :hug3:
 
I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself as best you can. You will be in my prayers tonight.
 
The fact he told you that he loved you and thanked you for what you have done goes to show you how much of a wonderful person you are and were to him. You should focus on that you were the ray of light in a cold world he maybe just couldn't adjust too. I hope you truly feel that this isn't your fault, please get counseling or at least talk to someone about this.. the world is already hard on easy mode I can't imagine how hard it is after dealing with what you had too for the pass few years dealing with your brothers death. You might not realize that but I know the strength you show in this tread about this issue has probably helped or touch a few people.. I'm sure I just couldn't be that strong. Please take care.
 
God bless you. You mentioned writing cover letters. . .if you were my friend I would suggest you don't push yourself right now. I am so sorry for your loss and keep you in prayer.
 
I wanted to thank all of you for your kind messages.
I went and identified the body today. I feel more at peace now. Maybe it's just an illusion but I could eat again after.

Other family members are coming to see me. I'll take a few week break and go to Africa and then decide where I want to find a job. Paris might be too hard right now.

I have an appointment next week with a couselor (if that's the right name).


Thanks again for the support and kind words.
 
lalla said:
I wanted to thank all of you for your kind messages.
I went and identified the body today. I feel more at peace now. Maybe it's just an illusion but I could eat again after.

Other family members are coming to see me. I'll take a few week break and go to Africa and then decide where I want to find a job. Paris might be too hard right now.

I have an appointment next week with a couselor (if that's the right name).

Thanks again for the support and kind words.
Click to expand...

:bighug:

Sent from my iPhone 4s using LHCF
 
My condolences to you for your loss :bighug: I wouldn't be functionable now if it were me let alone on LHCF talking to a bunch of strangers and giving updates about it :look:

I would hope for you to get counseling and seek real life family support from people who truly know you and love you. This is your SECOND suicide, and such devastating losses.
:bighug:
 
OP I truly commend you for the way you've been handling this (as per your posts). You seem like a very strong and determined woman. Determined to live and do what is best for you. If I hadnt taken Psychology of death and dying specifically the grieving process and how different it is for each person, I would not even believe people could seem so together. And I use seem carefully. Stay blessed girl. And judging from what you've stated about him, he would have wanted you to move forward and have a good life. It's just sad he didnt have that motivation for himself. Since he seemed so full of turmoil in his life may he rest in peace now.
 
Thanks to everyone for your wishes and prayers.

I actually don't feel very strong right now. I just have this very deep feeling that I do not want to die, maybe it's instinct.

I feel more at peace but it is most likely temporary. I never saw my brother's body and it took a very long time before I grieved. I kept wondering if he had suffered, if it was really him, if they hadn't made a mistake.

I will probably feel worse about my ex in the days to come. But I know I have support from my many cousins, aunts and uncles. It was the first time my father ever told me about my brother's death. I keep talking about the ex, asking myself questions, remembering stuff and telling people about him.
Maybe I am not writing this very clearly but it's therapeutic to do so.

Thanks again for the advice and opinions. I think I'll have something to go back to if things get worse.
 
I was just thinking about you today, Lalla. Imagining that you'd take that last bit of advice from your boyfriend to pursue your art. And each beautiful piece you create will be blessed by an angel.

I dunno....is it possible to turn such a tragedy into something beautiful and life affirming?

I think so.
 
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Oh OP :sad: :bighug: :rose:

Please take care of yourself. I think going back home for awhile is a good idea. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You may not believe it right now, but you ARE strong.

:bighug:
 
Damn this reminds me of a very hard place I was in just a few months ago. I know how it feels to be there but I was barely able to pull myself out of it because I didn't want to die but sometimes you feel like it's your only option to stop hurting. Now I know where I want to be and I'm finally able to take small steps to get there. I pray that you, your family & his family get through this. May his soul rest in peace.
 
A little update.
I'm moving out of this apartment. I have already found a new one.
I have found a well paid & interesting job, almost without looking for it.
I packed his things (most of them) and sent them to his family.

I am almost finished with my master's thesis. I was a bit disappointed because I had to ask for more time. The positive thing is that I managed to do it in a very difficult situation.
I went to counseling twice so far, I might go another time before going to see my family.
I hate packing.

I wanted to thank you all for your support and kind words.
 
Good luck with everything OP. so sorry for all that you have gone through. It will be greater later, stay strong.
 
Today is the first time I'm reading this thread.
What tragedies you've experienced. I'm deeply sorry for your losses and commend your strength in getting to this moment. You've been changed lalla , but only for the best. Life can be so hard and unbelievable at times, but in God's favor you've survived and come out facing the sunshine. Best of luck to you and please keep us posted if you can.
 
lalla said:
A little update.
I'm moving out of this apartment. I have already found a new one.
I have found a well paid & interesting job, almost without looking for it.
I packed his things (most of them) and sent them to his family.

I am almost finished with my master's thesis. I was a bit disappointed because I had to ask for more time. The positive thing is that I managed to do it in a very difficult situation.
I went to counseling twice so far, I might go another time before going to see my family.
I hate packing.

I wanted to thank you all for your support and kind words.
Click to expand...
Today is my first time seeing this. I cannot imagine all you've been through in the last 3/4 weeks. Continue to be strong ...

Congrats on the new job.
 
I had not seen this thread either. Reading through it just broke my heart. I am so glad that you had the fortitude to push through all of this. Nice to see that you have some good news to share, some accomplishments and new beginnings. Looks like you are experiencing the rainbow after the storm. I will pray for your continued road to peace.
 
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