Am I dating a stalker?

[pearlific1]

I need clarity.

I've been dating this guy for a while and I have just recently found out that he snoops through my things...texts, emails, Facebook inbox, Twitter inbox, etc. It has gotten to the point where he has started to forward my personal emails to himself. We got into a heated argument last month and he proceeded to forward me an email that an ex had sent asking a general question. He was furious that the ex still had my contact info. (Was I suppose to change it???)

We recently went on vacay together and while I was taking photos using his phone doing various activities I noticed several of my old private photos of an ex and myself (not the same ex from the emails) were saved on his phone...in an album. erplexed. These photos are at least 3 yrs old and I have no idea where they are even saved for him to find them

I recently got a new job and a great deal of communication between my new management team and myself was had via email, including salary info. I never told my bf how much I made because I didn't feel that it was any of his business. He recently let it slip that he "slick knew" how much I made. The only way he'd know that would be from the emails so that's how I know that he is still snooping.

I have nothing to hide. I just want some privacy. I have started to lock EVERYTHING. I just feel weird doing so because that would make someone even more suspicious. How do I handle the snooper?

How do I always end up with crazy men?!

 

[kandake]

That's creepy and would be a deal breaker for me.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Once you realized he had your passwords you didn't change them? He sounds crazy to me and I wouldn't want someone like that.

 

[Danewshe]

Girl, you need to get out of that situation immediately, he is certifiable! Like seriously, what kind of creep does that?

 

[PopLife]

Yea, that's not cool at all...

 

[pearlific1]

That's creepy and would be deal breaker for me.

Yeah, I'm thinking it's time to pull the plug.

Once you realized he had your passwords you didn't change them? He sounds crazy to me and I wouldn't want someone like that.

Yes, the passwords were changed but I figured he was going in my accounts through my phone which wasn't locked at the time.

 

[pearlific1]

Girl, you need to get out of that situation immediately! He is certifiable! Like seriously, what kind of creep does that?

Girl...my Mom told me something wasn't right.

 

[Skyfall]

Be careful when you pull the plug. He sounds crazy.

 

[kandake]

Be careful when you pull the plug. He sounds crazy.

I was coming back to say just that. Please be careful. I would consider not telling him in person.

ETA: did your mom say that before she heard about the email and social media stalking? I'm just curious about what signs she saw.

 

[CaraWalker]

this is scarily controlling and i would be worried hes going to start going upside your head next.

 

[SmileyNY]

Yes. Please distance yourself before you end up on the news.

 

[pearlific1]

I was coming back to say just that. Please be careful. I would consider not telling him in person.

Understandable, but he knows where I live...

 

[Buckeyecurlz]

Uhm, yes please be careful with how you break things off with him...his behavior is disturbing!

 

[Bublin]

YOU ARE CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH PSYCHO.....

 

[pearlific1]

I was coming back to say just that. Please be careful. I would consider not telling him in person.

ETA: did your mom say that before she heard about the email and social media stalking? I'm just curious about what signs she saw.

Yes she did. She never had a solid reason, only that she knew she didn't like him.

 

[FancyGirl]

Good luck OP.

 

[natural2008]

He knows where you live and work not good noooo ma'am.

 

[Kerryann]

Uhm he has to go that's crazy. What u need to do is borrow his phone again and delete ur ex pics out of his phone. He will also start showing up places when u break up so prepare to call the cops

 

[Dellas]

I am a snooper with guys but only public info like Facebook
Social media
LinkedIn
Etc....

Invasion of personal emails and back account info is far too much and controlling
He has a controlling problem and if you marry him he will open your mail and you will never have privacy again

He doesn't understand boundaries
Maybe someone done this to him or he simply has poor manners

Either way you have to end it because he has problems with boundaries

He has some internal work to do

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[pearlific1]

Uhm he has to go that's crazy. What u need to do is borrow his phone again and delete ur ex pics out of his phone. He will also start showing up places when u break up so prepare to call the cops

I would really like to get my hands on his phone and delete those pics

 

[FoxxyLocs]

He sounds like the type to make your private info public when you dump him. You should take steps to protect yourself before you let him go.

 

[Bublin]

Op, you need to think of an action plan. Personally with someone like him I would do the fade. A complete cut and dry may send him into a rage.

 

[ambergirl]

Yes OP, exit quickly and carefully. I ended it with one guy when I discovered he was building a dossier on me with my pic, social security number (where did he find that?) phone, address, driver's license number, parent's address and phone, medical card number (had to get that out of my purse), etc. I destroyed the file and never saw him again.

Curious to know what you would say about this Dartagnan ?

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

A relationship without trust is nothing.

 

[pearlific1]

He sounds like the type to make your private info public when you dump him. You should take steps to protect yourself before you let him go.

Op, you need to think of an action plan. Personally with someone like him I would do the fade. A complete cut and dry may send him into a rage.

Great info. I will start by deleting my info and then going from there.

 

[CaraWalker]

A relationship without trust is nothing.

 

[Bublin]

Also change passwords.
Keypad lock on your phone.
If your home is alarmed change the keycode

 

[lushlady]

If you have to ask, then he probably is a stalker. Trust your intuition.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

he sounds like he's the kind of person that you can't leave suddenly you have to plan to do it, cause he just might retaliate.

I'd change passwords, cell number phone numbers etc., little by little start collecting anything and everything that you may have left at his place, take and inventory if necessary make sure nothing important of yours is missing like drivers license, credit cards etc., in fact apply for new ones he may have your cr. card numbers written down somewhere, you just never know ...he has proven that he cant be trusted so DONT trust him for a minute.

 

[lux10023]

very disturbing.

he sounds like some techie dude--beware of them

something similar happened to my homegirl---dude was some techie weirdo who was possessive---switching out her sim card---tampering with her pc...

she was so happy to have met a "safe" nerdy dude who wasn't like the players she had been dating

how are you nerdy yet dangerous it was a mess--he tampered with all kinds of stuff--keeping tabs on her due to his insecurity