Advice for a virgin

[greight]

Just to offer a different perspective, I don't agree with the whole idea of "you don't know what you're missing," and "regular sex can't compare to sex with someone you love and its never as good" etc...


I feel the same way about sex. Sex with someone you're in love with who is in love with you is a best case scenario, in my opinion. I feel like that's a best case scenario that doesn't come around very often and is very rare. This idea that love is something that happens that easily and people fall in love with each other willy nilly is something I don't subscribe to. Me personally, I probably won't ever be in love with more than 2 men in my entire life (if I were to be so lucky!). Yet some women are "in love" with a boyfriend every other month. It's too individualistic to be defined in those limited terms, in my opinion.

You don't have to form your ideals about sex based on those terms, IF you choose not to.

I agree. Honestly, I think that when it comes down to it, women are kinda shamed into staying in one particular box when it comes to sex. I don't think I could ever have a one night stand, but that's not to say that other women can't.

People say sex is best when you wait, but I feel like some people use hindsight thinking about all their failed relationships and trying to erase those memories of allowing him in your bed. You could wait, be in a committed relationship, have sex, and still regret it later on in life since the dude turned out to be an a**hole. It happens.

That being said, I don't think you should let any man dictate what YOU want. Don't feel bad letting them know about your status; you really did weed out those men from your life that weren't serious enough for you . You want a committed relationship first and you deserve one, OP.

But at the end of the day, if you change your mind due to your own personal analysis, then that's okay, too.

 

[caligirl]

You could explore sex on your own, if you wanted to. That would probably be better than your first time with some random dude.

 

[natstar]

Caligirl- I actually have. I have and still do on a regular basis-so I know my body and if I were to be sexually active with a guy what I would want.

Also-what do you ladies think of the argument/advice that I should find a virgin (like myself) and that no sexually active man will wait or want a virgin. I personally find that even MORE limiting. Plus I know its a double standard but I would like to have someone with some experience. Is this true?

 

[Oasis]

My advice? Remain a virgin for as long as possible. Sex is overrated.

spoken like a true non-virgin.

 

[Shinka]

Caligirl- I actually have. I have and still do on a regular basis-so I know my body and if I were to be sexually active with a guy what I would want.

Also-what do you ladies think of the argument/advice that I should find a virgin (like myself) and that no sexually active man will wait or want a virgin. I personally find that even MORE limiting. Plus I know its a double standard but I would like to have someone with some experience. Is this true?

You have to make your own decisions and what's best for you. Sex and preferences are different for everyone. Virgin males ( I guess women too, but I don't háve experience there) require alot of patience and teaching from my experience. If you want someone with experience, then so be it.

Another virgin, maybe you can learn together. I seems rare to find a virgin guy around your age. Even in religious circles. Then you may have another barrier with maturity etc.

I jut think you have to make a decision. Do you want sex in a committed relationship or do you want to experience it just to try it with maybe no deep emotions attached? Have you stayed a virgin due to religious convictions? Do you want a man with those same values?

Just from your various post, it's hard to gather what you really want and think about sex. Your principles/values ultimately will decided how engage in this area.