Advantages and Disadvantages of Dating MUCH Older Men

[sky_blu]

I haven't but reading this thread is interesting. My cut off limit is about 5-6 years older than I am but I've had some young thangs try to holla at me and some OLD thangs too I found that guys that are past that 5-6 year cut off age remind me of my dad. I hate being called "sweetie" and "darling" and I always feel like they just want me because of my age. They seem to all want a young tenderoni (yep I said it!). SMDH.

 

[justicefighter1913]

lala89: oh no!!

 

[bluediamond0829]

I'm 32 now and would rather someone at the oldest being 38 or 39(6 or 7 years older).

I agree with what alot u stated about the younger guys even some of the ones my age i would not want to deal with because they are not mature, don't know what they want in life and are not settled enough. I'm not trying to find someone that doesnt want to have a life or not do anything but just someone willing to go places and travel and doesnt have to have the excuse of well i have to wait to save money or until i get a better job. No thanks.

 

[Wildchild453]

My cut off is 5 years too and that would put him in the 28-30 range. I still think that's a lot at 23 but men my age are so immature for the most part. I did 10 years once when I was 20 and only for a few months. I was okay but not something I really want to do again.

 

[Papoose]

So I dated a guy that was 8 years younger than me...when I was 18! I was in undergrad. I know, I know, thought I was doing something and he was trying to be my daddy. He'd ask me if I finished my homework, I told him that I already had a daddy. GTFOH!

I dated a guy that was 10 years older than me when I was 28. Too much baggage.

I think the ideal range for me is no more than 6-7 years older. Too much older than that and we'd bump heads.

 

[allmundjoi]

So I dated a guy that was 8 years younger than me...when I was 18! I was in undergrad. I know, I know, thought I was doing something and he was trying to be my daddy. He'd ask me if I finished my homework, I told him that I already had a daddy. GTFOH!

I dated a guy that was 10 years older than me when I was 28. Too much baggage.

I think the ideal range for me is no more than 6-7 years older. Too much older than that and we'd bump heads.

What da heck?! Lol, Papoose, I think you meant he was 8 years older. Right? He was 26 and not 10. Cuz in some states that's a case and a sock full of soap to the head.

Sent from my DROIDX

 

[daydreem2876]

I am currently dating someone 7 years older than me... I am 35 he's 42

The main disadvantage is he has already had and entire life (marriage, kids, career) before me so not much between us is new for him. I can admit there are lot of thing I don't know and trying to discover but he has already been there, done that and has little patience for my learning curve. He has a lot pf preconceived, firmly held notions about women and relationships that do not leave me much room to express myself or really be me. Needless to say, this is not going to last much longer.

 

[metro_qt]

This made me




I am turning 26 this year so I am about that age of "age" going out the window, huh? Well, this is good news.

The Hypertension no laughing matter with an older man
I dated one man, i think he was about 8 to 10 years older, and right there on his dresser/cabinet was his hypertension medicine...

that really made me pause for the cause with him...
especially since my father died of a hypertension related cause...

Lol, this man contacted me a couple of weeks ago, so i know he's still alive and kicking...

 

[GraceV]

The Hypertension no laughing matter with an older man
I dated one man, i think he was about 8 to 10 years older, and right there on his dresser/cabinet was his hypertension medicine...

that really made me pause for the cause with him...
especially since my father died of a hypertension related cause...

Lol, this man contacted me a couple of weeks ago, so i know he's still alive and kicking...

@ the bolded. The way you worded it has me hollering!

I'm sorry about you dad.

 

[cheryl26]

my spouse is 8 yrs older than me. im 26 he's 34, we got married when i was 18. i didn't think it was an extreme difference for a while til he turned 30 and started moving at the pace of a slug. never wants to play any sports or bike or walk more than 10 minutes without resting. my sister is 18 now and i think omg i would never marry someone that young! still watchin cartoons all day, video games, and always tryin to be in "in-style" or different.

i would say older guys are less fussy/argumentative, interested in family-life not game playing but more controlling.

 

[anon123]

I dated a guy 19 years older than me. There were lots of good things about dating him. He was well established in his career and had plenty of money. So we could eat wherever we wanted at any time, take a weekend trip to wherever we wanted at any time. He introduced me to a lot of stuff this way, and I'm happy for it.

He was very self-assured. He knew how to take care of things and get things done. So when I was with him, not only did I not have to pay, I really didn't have to do much of anything but enjoy the ride. He knew how to handle things. And he was always looking out for me. He would always be thinking, "does she need help with __, she might need me to ___". I actually haven't met any other guy who was so thoughtful about that kind of thing.

He was very even-tempered. Even when I was upset, he would just "uh huh, uh huh" until I blew it off. Eventually, I stopped trying to argue with him because he just wouldn't engage. He'd had a lot of years to figure out how to work with different people, and he was good at it.

Honestly, it was a lot of fun. In the end, though, I wanted someone who was at my own stage of life to go through life with.

 

[MaryJane3000]

Descibe moving to fast.

Like trying to have color sessions quickly?
Trying to wife you quickly?
Trying to have kids quickly?

All of the above?

the first two...

They tried to pressure me into getting physical and i think they thought the more pressure they applied the sooner I'd give it up. And they wanted to make things exclusive way too fast. I think though that they thought I was an inexperienced or green girl so they could do that. I side eye men in their 30s that only date girls in their 20s. i think they just do it because women in their 30s dont put up with the crap and know the game.

 

[MD_Lady]

DH is 9 years older than I am and it's never been problem. In our relationship, the fact that we were at a similar point in our lives overall (i.e. no children and never been married) and in our dating lives (dated some, but with no emotional baggage from previous relationships, were ready for a LTR, and open to "settling down") made ALL the difference.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

You ladies are giving me alot to think about.

There's this guy (you'll know its summer right ) at my gym. He's hot. I heard he's in his late 30s, early 40s (I am not 100% on this). Body is amazing, very tall, FBI agent, extremely deep voice.

My good friend and manager of the club asked him if he was married for me. He said NO and wanted to know who I was. He didn't tell him. I know he knows who I am because I catch him looking at me all the time. Now, my friend is pressuring me to say something to him but I have been weighing the options. I wanna have fun but it may not go anywhere sooo....I don't know.

 

[lala89]

prettyfaceANB
Go for it! Won't know unless you try it. The only reason I'm having trouble with my old man is because of him personally. Id totally settle down if I found the right guy, he just isn't it. I find with older guys I don't get mind f****d the way guys my age do. My old guy treats me like a lady when he isn't controlling me but again; I think its just his personality not his age.

 

[Ladybelle]

I love and prefer older men. Despite any age difference, I would say that I match up better with older men because they are on my level, men my age or younger are usually immature, dont know squat about women, arent established and arent as good in bed. I prefer the experience, confidence and swag of an older man. My limit is 12 yrs though.

Sent from my PC36100 using PC36100

 

[BeautifulFlower]

@prettyfaceANB
Go for it! Won't know unless you try it. The only reason I'm having trouble with my old man is because of him personally. Id totally settle down if I found the right guy, he just isn't it. I find with older guys I don't get mind f****d the way guys my age do. My old guy treats me like a lady when he isn't controlling me but again; I think its just his personality not his age.

lala89

Geez, I'm nervous. I don't know what to say or how to approach. I am not a dater and I can be extremely shy until I'm comfortable.But I'mma do......I will.

 

[childoftheKing]

I dated a guy 19 years older than me. There were lots of good things about dating him. He was well established in his career and had plenty of money. So we could eat wherever we wanted at any time, take a weekend trip to wherever we wanted at any time. He introduced me to a lot of stuff this way, and I'm happy for it.

He was very self-assured. He knew how to take care of things and get things done. So when I was with him, not only did I not have to pay, I really didn't have to do much of anything but enjoy the ride. He knew how to handle things. And he was always looking out for me. He would always be thinking, "does she need help with __, she might need me to ___". I actually haven't met any other guy who was so thoughtful about that kind of thing.

He was very even-tempered. Even when I was upset, he would just "uh huh, uh huh" until I blew it off. Eventually, I stopped trying to argue with him because he just wouldn't engage. He'd had a lot of years to figure out how to work with different people, and he was good at it.

Honestly, it was a lot of fun. In the end, though, I wanted someone who was at my own stage of life to go through life with.

I just read your post twice, and I was thinking...no matter his age I would not have let this man get away

 

[simplyFABULOUS]

My boo is way older than me and I LOVE IT!!
Im 21 and he is 30, I think the greatest benefit is him being stable and seasoned lol. I am still in that stage of life where I am spazzing out and having tons of highs and lows but he always manages to be such a calming pressence and gets me re-focused. I am a senior in college and he is very established in his career so most people are suprised that it works. We often get the "different places in life" comments and that is true but for us once we acknowledge that it wasnt a huge issue. We are both able to go out with each others friends and family and it not be weird. At first all my girlfriends freaked out but he won them over and now they love him because he always gets the tab haha.The only real issue I can think of is the fact that they will always secretly believe that somehow they are right because they have lived longer. However, I made sure to make it clear from the jump that my age was not going to be used as a pass to talk down to me or discredit my opinion.

 

[Etherealsmile]

You ladies are giving me alot to think about.

There's this guy (you'll know its summer right ) at my gym. He's hot. I heard he's in his late 30s, early 40s (I am not 100% on this). Body is amazing, very tall, FBI agent, extremely deep voice.

My good friend and manager of the club asked him if he was married for me. He said NO and wanted to know who I was. He didn't tell him. I know he knows who I am because I catch him looking at me all the time. Now, my friend is pressuring me to say something to him but I have been weighing the options. I wanna have fun but it may not go anywhere sooo....I don't know.

He sounds yummy!! you're young and beautiful, enjoy life! I say go for it!

 

[BeautifulFlower]

He sounds yummy!! you're young and beautiful, enjoy life! I say go for it!

Etherealsmile


Awww thanks ...I think I will

 

[Renewed1]

DH is 9 years older than I am and it's never been problem. In our relationship, the fact that we were at a similar point in our lives overall (i.e. no children and never been married) and in our dating lives (dated some, but with no emotional baggage from previous relationships, were ready for a LTR, and open to "settling down") made ALL the difference.

MD_Lady I want a guy that has the bold. My friends tell me that it's nearly impossible to find a guy that's (in my case close to 40) that has never been married/children, etc.

This was very encouraging, which proves yet again, you can have an older guy without the things I have to "accept" or "compromise" on.

 

[Britt]

The most I'd want to go is 8 years my senior... Ideally, 5-7 years tho.
BTW, not only old folks are hypertensive lol. I'm on hypertension meds and I'm 29. My brother is 21 and is hypertensive also. It's heriditary for us.

I wouldn't want someone too much older than me b/c I'd feel we aren't in the same generation. I want someone who listens and enjoys the music I do, and other things... I just don't see myself with someone too much older than me and it's not so much appearance, as it is commanality. A lot of Black men look really good as they get older.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

^^^ Thats what I am thinking today as I took a walk during lunch. If an older man is attractive and take good care of his body, he is 10x sexier than his younger self.

 

[aribell]

MD_Lady I want a guy that has the bold. My friends tell me that it's nearly impossible to find a guy that's (in my case close to 40) that has never been married/children, etc.

This was very encouraging, which proves yet again, you can have an older guy without the things I have to "accept" or "compromise" on.

I dated someone like this who was 38. I agree that it's not the norm, but they do exist.

 

[Papoose]

What da heck?! Lol, Papoose, I think you meant he was 8 years older. Right? He was 26 and not 10. Cuz in some states that's a case and a sock full of soap to the head.

Sent from my DROIDX

LOL, LOL. I'd just left the younger men thread. Yes, I meant 8 years older.

 

[French Rouge]

Once upon a time I dated an older gentleman. He had a fully gray beard. I knew it was the end when he dyed it jet black. He came to pick me up for a date with a jet black beard and I laughed for 40 minutes straight. That night pretty much sealed the deal. It was a no go.

 

[JFemme]

Once upon a time I dated an older gentleman. He had a fully gray beard. I knew it was the end when he dyed it jet black. He came to pick me up for a date with a jet black beard and I laughed for 40 minutes straight. That night pretty much sealed the deal. It was a no go.

 

[childoftheKing]

@lala89

Geez, I'm nervous. I don't know what to say or how to approach. I am not a dater and I can be extremely shy until I'm comfortable.But I'mma do......I will.

doooo iiitttt!!!

 

[BeautifulFlower]

lala89 , nichollecaren, Etherealsmile

You'll really know how to put on the peer pressure...

I saw him yesterday. Yummy, he walked out the locker room with his huge tall frame and that sexy suit! Oh my Oh my I love a man in a suit! I punk'd out because I was in between a set.

Monday...ill get it done.