Advantages and Disadvantages of Dating MUCH Older Men

After the age of say?.... 26 IMO it doesn't really matter.

At 29 I dated 10 years older at 34 I dated 10 years younger and now at 40 my FH is 10 years older.

I prefer my older man. :-)
 
31 and prefer older men but it's getting to be too much. The last guy I dated was 42. Recently went on a date with a guy who was 49 but that's way to old for something serious

Disadvantages:
Possibly divorced
Possibly has children
Many black men suffer from high cholesterol and hypertension which means that they may be on medication.
Medication = increased chance of impotence.
Set in there ways
May not want to have children
Since I look so young the age gap is VERY noticeable which can be uncomfortable sometimes when in public.

Advantages:
The men I've dated have been very chivalrous
Established
Knows what they want out of life
More mature than younger men
Distinguished
Sexier (IMO)
Great in bed :blush: If not impotent :drunk:

I'll include more when they come to mind.
 
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kandake said:
Many black men suffer from high cholesterol hypertension which means that they may be on medication.
Medication = increased chance of impotence.
Click to expand...

This made me :lachen::lachen::lachen:


Aveena said:
After the age of say?.... 26 IMO it doesn't really matter.

At 29 I dated 10 years older at 34 I dated 10 years younger and now at 40 my FH is 10 years older.

I prefer my older man. :-)
Click to expand...

I am turning 26 this year so I am about that age of "age" going out the window, huh? Well, this is good news.
 
I've dated a guy 14 years my senior when I was 23...he was 37.

It was a good experience. He didn't have any children, but wanted them, he knew what he wanted, had experienced a lot, educated, very generous.

But, one thing that kinda weirded me out was his friends. He didn't seem 37 (to me), but every time I was around his friends, I instantly noticed the age difference. Most of his friends were late 30's/early 40's and I remember thinking, why are you hanging out with these "old" people? Of course, my friends were young, so I'm expecting his friends to be young like mine too. It was weird. We went to a party at one of his friend's GF's house and there was this couple there who had a 19 yr old son, and I was like, I'm only 4 years older than their son and they're talking to my BF about stuff I don't even know about.

Overall, great experience. I didn't know myself well enough to be involved in that type of relationship because he has a dominant personality and I don't so, it wouldn't have worked anyway, but I have no regrets! He taught me a lot.
 
All my dating life until recently there was at least a 15 year gap between me and my SO. I think the biggest pro is that they are pretty settled and know exactly what they want. The con for me is that most men over 40 who are single are that way for a reason. My 40+ boyfriends lavished me with attention, and gifts. I learnt a LOT from them about life and maturity, but taking the relationship to that next level as it related to marriage and kids was extremely difficult.

My fiance is 35 (was 31 when we met) and I found myself suspicious about how soon he started talking about marriage and a future. I realized it was simply his age that made the difference. Sometimes I still get a little annoyed about the way he handles situations that I view to be no-brainers, but again---there is a certain..."je ne sais quoi" about a man that has been-there-done-that, that a younger man is less likely posess.

My experience has taught me that its really about what you are looking for in life that will determine if an older man is better for you.
 
I did a couple times. What I didn't like was that they tried to control me or treat me as a kid. You have to beware of that. Maybe when you're past your 3rd or 4th decade of life? When you're 20-something, they don't see you as mature enough in your own right and attempt to make you a trophy.
 
Not a lot of personal experience with this for me. But one of my friends who dated a guy over 20 years older then her couldn't believe it when he rolled up to the movie theater window and ordered two senior citizen tickets. Mind you, she had just cracked 40! Yeah, that did not go down well. :lol:
 
chocolat79 said:
I've dated a guy 14 years my senior when I was 23...he was 37.

It was a good experience. He didn't have any children, but wanted them, he knew what he wanted, had experienced a lot, educated, very generous.

But, one thing that kinda weirded me out was his friends. He didn't seem 37 (to me), but every time I was around his friends, I instantly noticed the age difference. Most of his friends were late 30's/early 40's and I remember thinking, why are you hanging out with these "old" people? Of course, my friends were young, so I'm expecting his friends to be young like mine too. It was weird. We went to a party at one of his friend's GF's house and there was this couple there who had a 19 yr old son, and I was like, I'm only 4 years older than their son and they're talking to my BF about stuff I don't even know about.

Overall, great experience. I didn't know myself well enough to be involved in that type of relationship because he has a dominant personality and I don't so, it wouldn't have worked anyway, but I have no regrets! He taught me a lot.
Click to expand...

This is what weirded me out with the younger guy I dated. :lol: I just didn't fit well with his younger friends. I never had much luck with men my own age so my opinion is very biased.

Another advatage is that getting an older man you already see what he'll look like when he's older.. and have a better idea of where he is headed financially.

Younger guys can start off cute and change and get ugly :lol:

Disadvantage is that some men suffer in the bedroom but there are fixes for that :look: :lol:
 
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I'll never date a guy in his 30s ever again!

Yes, he was mature and knowledgeable which was very attractive to me. He also had a life plan and career that was somewhat motivating to me.

However, he thought because he was older he could pressure me into doing things I wasn't ready for and put the relationship into overdrive. He also thought he could give me lil bs lines that I was supposed to accept and not think anything of. He also talked down to me when we didn't agree on something.

So yea he was a jerk but the other older guys ive dated all of them move too fast imo. They'll date you properly but they try to move way faster than I'm ready to and then try and convince me that it's okay...riiight...
 
I briefly dated a guy that 20 years my senior!

I'm really bad about guessing someone's age - so if they look good I assume they’re younger. He was the one that mentioned our age difference when we first met. But the same thing happened to me......all of his friends seemed like really old men to me and I just felt out of place among their wives and girlfriends.

ps. we never spelt together - but I kept thinking about that episode of Sex and the City when Samantha have sex with the old dude with the wrinkled behind!!!! :nono:

Advantages:
Established
Generous
Beautiful (fully furnished) Home
Great Taste and Style

Disadvantages:
Balding …..he kept trying to hide his bald spot
Set in his ways (a know-it-all)
 
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ambergirl said:
Not a lot of personal experience with this for me. But one of my friends who dated a guy over 20 years older then her couldn't believe it when he rolled up to the movie theater window and ordered two senior citizen tickets. Mind you, she had just cracked 40! Yeah, that did not go down well. :lol:
Click to expand...
:lachen::lol::lachen::lol:
 
Descibe moving to fast.

Like trying to have color sessions quickly?
Trying to wife you quickly?
Trying to have kids quickly?

All of the above?
 
I love older men haha but I think its time I take a break from them as they don't take me seriously i'm 21 and I've dated from 21-42 year olds. Yea I have found that they are pretty set in their ways, but the security that they possess I find so attractive.
 
CurliDiva said:
I briefly dated a guy that 20 years my senior!

I'm really bad about guessing someone's age - so if they look good I assume they’re younger. He was the one that mentioned our age difference when we first met. But the same thing happened to me......all of his friends seemed like really old men to me and I just felt out of place among their wives and girlfriends.

ps. we never spelt together - but I kept thinking about that episode of Sex and the City when Samantha have sex with the old dude with the wrinkled behind!!!! :nono:

Advantages:
Established
Generous
Beautiful (fully furnished) Home
Great Taste and Style

Disadvantages:
Balding …..he kept trying to hide his bald spot
Set in his ways (a know-it-all)
Click to expand...



:yep: This was my experience as well when dating someone >20yrs older than me. :look:

He had children that were in college and I had just graduated two years before I met him, so that was awkward. He was also very established and his circle of friends were older but they usually dated women around my age (23-24 at the time). His home was immaculate, none of his kids lived at home and he didn't have a ton of family photos around.

I don't usually kiss and tell but he wasn't selfish AT ALL. He didn't have any problems in any of those areas. He also showered me with compliments and wasn't afraid to let me know how he really felt. Most men my age don't say stuff like this because they're afraid of "gassing your head up."


Another good thing when dating older men is that they aren't used to all the texting back and forth so if they are truly interested in you they will call you. None of this texting back and forth and playing games with how long they take to respond to you.

I don't think I would date someone that much older anymore, as I am 26 and looking for a long-term relationship and I want to get married and have children. Most men that age aren't thinking about children.
 
Old head's:

Are single for a reason
Have erectile dysfunction
Have crow's feet
Will give you worms should you lay with them.
 
I don't have any personal experience to add but I would just encourage you (general 'you') to use forethought. Yeah, you're 25 and he is 45 now, but what happens when you marry this guy, 30 years go by and you're still reasonably "young" at 55 and he is a 75 year old fart, that is, if he is even still alive. I wouldn't want to be "starting over" at 55/middle aged. That, to me, is a HUGE CON!!!

I couldn't see myself going over more than 10 years.
 
I read an article about a young woman (in her mid-late 20's) marrying an older man (in his 50's). things went well, they got married. well...she got a job (wasnt working before) he stopped working (because he felt he was too old to keep working), she got mad...they divorced...now she owes him alimony....and lots of it!
 
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He's been talking about marriage since our first month together..I want to get married but I don't think a month is adequate time for him to see all that with me :perplexed:. I feel like he wants me young so he can form me into what he wants and expects from a woman. I'm starting to honestly wonder if he only sees me as a conquest.
 
Disadvantage: You have to be CPR certified and know how to fire up a defibrillator.
You have to wait fir that 'blue pill' to kick in.

Advantage: You have to wait for that 'blue pill ' to kick in.

Sent from my DROIDX
 
I have nothing to add. But I think this is the reason why I don't want to date someone over 10 years older than me (I'm 34). I have no desire for someone to "change" me. I see this all the time when my girlfriend's date men over 15 years older than them. I often wonder about men that date women that are 15 years or younger than them. Is it more of a reliving their youth or what?

I will stick to my 5 to 7 years older than me range. A guy older than 7 years isn't worth it.
 
Avaya said:
I don't have any personal experience to add but I would just encourage you (general 'you') to use forethought. Yeah, you're 25 and he is 45 now, but what happens when you marry this guy, 30 years go by and you're still reasonably "young" at 55 and he is a 75 year old fart, that is, if he is even still alive. I wouldn't want to be "starting over" at 55/middle aged. That, to me, is a HUGE CON!!!

I couldn't see myself going over more than 10 years.
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Tru Tru

lala89 said:
SO is 9 years older than me. To be honest I want out :nono:.
Click to expand...

Oh no hun...I'm sorry
 
fattyfatfat said:
I read an article about a young woman (in her mid-late 20's) marrying an older man (in his 50's). things went well, they got married. well...she got a job (wasnt working before) he stopped working (because he felt he was too old to keep working), she got mad...they divorced...now she owes him alimony....and lots of it!
Click to expand...

This made me curse.
 
Disadvantage: they had a life before you, leaves you wondering if anything is special...

Sent from my MyTouch 4G using Long Hair Care Forum App
 
From my experience:

Advantages:
--They know what they are looking for in a woman, so it's not like they're going to pursue you while they're still trying to figure out what they really want out of a relationship. If they're into you, it's because you are the type of woman they are looking for.
--They have a better understanding of women and are less likely to complain about commonsense things that younger men haven't learned about how women feel and process things; so they tend to be more considerate of a woman's feelings. And much more likely to be able to appreciate the worth of a good woman.
--You are definitely the catch in this situation due to your youthful age and appearance, and that increases your value in his eyes.
--They are less likely to be competitive with you. They have done what they are going to do in life and you as a younger woman are not necessarily a threat to his sense of accomplishment.

For some reason, though, I don't know if this applies the same when these same men are dating women their own age. Idk, aside from the control freaks, insofar as they pursue younger women, I think men might be better in some ways towards women who are significantly their junior. I think it makes them feel more significant, like "the man" for having gotten a young woman, and would be more protective. Just generalizations.

Disadvantages:

--He is aging and has a good head start on you. Might not be a problem if he's in good shape, but if he's just "average" it will start to show if it doesn't already.
--You're much more likely to end up being a caretaker sooner than you would be otherwise.
--It might be weird if they have kids too close to your own age (I did freak out once when I started worrying that I'd meet his son and be more attracted to him than the father)
--Other people might find it strange (for what it's worth)
--There's a likelihood that he's already been married, divorced, etc. and has baggage associated with that.

Overall, I really like older men, but I've found that practically, the disadvantages have outweighed the advantages. Not at 8 years, but more like 10+. But maybe I haven't come across the right one yet!
 
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