**2015 Relationships & Dating Thread**

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Happy new year! We just got back from spending holidays with his family in Portland. I've never spent 10 days with his family before. Previous trips were shorter. They're a really nice bunch. His parents got me thoughtful Xmas gifts, which I appreciated (and certainly didn't expect!). I enjoyed spending time talking with them and playing board games. Also spent more time with his niece and nephew, brother and sister in law.

New Years was spent at a beach house on the coast. It was pretty nice and low key. Us and 2 other couples. I feel like I get on better with the guys than the other girls that were there but that's fine!

Looking forward to a happy and eventful 2015!
 
His parents have gotten me Christmas gifts the part 2 years. My parents haven't gotten him anything :lol:
 
qchelle said:
His parents have gotten me Christmas gifts the part 2 years. My parents haven't gotten him anything :lol:
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:lol: my FH's parents have been getting me AND my mum Christmas presents since we first started going out. I get them presents too but my mum only got his parents presents for the first time this past Christmas. :look:

Also, all his other relatives get me presents too and I've never got them anything. :look: I would but there's only one of me and like 8 of them altogether and when they give me a gift it's one from like the whole family e.g. aunt, uncle and cousin, whereas if I was to give them a gift id have to give them each a separate gift coz I can't exactly give one present to the whole family to share. :lol:

Ain't nobody got money fo dat. I don't even give my own aunts, uncles and cousins gifts coz I have far too many. So his relatives will just be getting cards from me. :look:
 
Winter break is over and he went home today. It was so nice seeing him every day! We got some wedding stuff done....our cake is going to be bomb! Yum! I found a new apartment for us. I'll move in a few weeks and he'll move in when the school year is over. It's going to be great. I'm really excited.
 
Bublin said:
I'm sorry to hear this. You guys split over Christmas? What happened?
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We actually spent a beautiful Christmas together but a few days later we got into a very big argument that revealed that I had been putting way too much into us and wasn't getting anything in return. The one time I needed him, he showed me he couldn't be there for me and was very unapologetic for it. So we split.
Looking forward to meeting someone great in 2015. Never too late to raise my standards :)
 
I have nowhere to put this so I will write it here. Its about my friend so thats a relationship right? :look:


So we have a group convo thing with myself and two other girls. We normally text each other all day pretty much like random stuff from IG, shopping/sales, random girl talk basically. Well with it being the weekend yesterday we ended up randomly talking all day with all 3 people participating. Well this one girl decides to spazz out in my inbox saying that she is tired of talking to me/us and we are killing her battery and she doesnt want to text us anymore. -__- I was like you willingly participated in the conversation and now this is annoying you? Half the time she starts the conversation!

This is why I dont bat a lash when people say they dont like female friends. That statement will never bother me.
 
He went home last night after spending two weeks at my place and it felt so weird waking up and him not being there. We are both back at work and on our normal schedules and I miss him. I don't want to seem clingy or too needy but geez. Trying to stay busy as I am sure I will ease back into my normal routine soon. Those two weeks were a tease lol
 
Does anyone's SO like to tease them?? And does it annoy you? My boyfriend loves to pick on me. He's joking but when he teases me in front of his friends and family, I get visibly annoyed. His parents even told my boyfriend that he needs to present me in the best way! They said this right in front of me and I was glad that it was said!

His best friend's wife was also subject to this childish behavior when they were dating.

I am also terrible at come backs. So, I can't just join him...

Anyway, I told him I don't communicate affection via teasing like he does. So he needs to lighten up.
 
LivingDol1 said:
Does anyone's SO like to tease them?? And does it annoy you? My boyfriend loves to pick on me. He's joking but when he teases me in front of his friends and family, I get visibly annoyed. His parents even told my boyfriend that he needs to present me in the best way! They said this right in front of me and I was glad that it was said!

His best friend's wife was also subject to this childish behavior when they were dating.

I am also terrible at come backs. So, I can't just join him...

Anyway, I told him I don't communicate affection via teasing like he does. So he needs to lighten up.
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SO teases me sometimes and the only thing that annoys me about it is that most times I end up laughing before I can pretend to be mad and "repremand" him. I can't talk because I tease him sometimes as well.

However ...every one is different. If it makes you uncomfortable, SO should respect your feelings. Also, it sounds like you would be more receptive to it if he didn't do it so often. It sounds like over kill.

Good teasers do it to make you smile. Bad ones do it to embarrass you. Figure out which one he is. If you think he's doing it to make you smile, tell him to tone it down... but also try lighten up a little and prepare some combacks. If you think he's doing it to embarrass you, then you need to have a serious conversation with him and let him know it's not cool.
 
Date night tonight...he suggested Starbucks...I said Sheraton Hotel for coffee. It's quiet and hotels have the best coffee. I'm determined to date this year just to break the hold my current beau has on me...I hope this works.

ETA: We had a great time. He definitely wants a relationship. I could kick it with him....he really is very nice and has a seriously nice Rover.
 
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LivingDol1 said:
Does anyone's SO like to tease them?? And does it annoy you? My boyfriend loves to pick on me. He's joking but when he teases me in front of his friends and family, I get visibly annoyed. His parents even told my boyfriend that he needs to present me in the best way! They said this right in front of me and I was glad that it was said! His best friend's wife was also subject to this childish behavior when they were dating. I am also terrible at come backs. So, I can't just join him... Anyway, I told him I don't communicate affection via teasing like he does. So he needs to lighten up.
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My BF teases me all the time, but that's kind of part of out love language. We like to laugh and make jokes. He knows his boundaries and I know mine. It's never to the point of putting the other person down or to take jabs at each other. If it ever got to that point we would make that known and quickly correct it. If he cares he'll be mindful of your feelings, you just have to tell him.

As far as joking in front of other people we don't really do that too much. If we do it's extremely light hearted. We try not to delve into things that are private and intimate for us around other people.

But tell him how you feel, plainly and straightforwardly. He'll respect that.
 
SO is leaving for 2 months for job training on Saturday and I feel like he is in such of a planning mode that I am being neglected. I know it's not intentional because when he is stressed he can get so focused that he perceives maintaining contact with me on a consistent basis the same as speaking to my love language which is words of affirmation. He is always so good with this normally, saying random sweet things or sending little notes or texts. Lately it's been all business and so I just emailed him and told him I needed some attention. This is the first time I have done this so I hope that he understands what I mean by that and if not I will explain but I rather be upfront then be over here suffering in silence and then my mood subconsciously changes and he doesn't know why.

Just by sending that email I feel a weight off of my shoulders. I have been trying to be understanding and putting my needs on the back burner but I see that will not work in the long run for either of us.

Has anyone else tried this upfront approach with their men when proclaiming their needs and desires or were subtle hints received well?
 
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I enjoyed hanging with my boyfriend and his family. Its been a great few weeks we have gotten so close and I just feel more and more that he is the one. His parents were asking when we are getting married LOL giggles. I love him so much and am so blessed to have him.
 
Happy New Year ladies.

I hope everyone is well.

This man has been consistent since day one, and he's treated me like a Queen since day one. I absolutely love that we talk about everything because everything is important to us. We made it clear (on day one) that neither of us are mind readers (because some people actually expect for their mate to always know what they mean - please, that's just not the way things work). I love that this man knows how to really communicate. We still have so much fun together, and I still get excited whenever it's time to see him (yep, still makes me feel like a school girl).

It's so good loving somebody, and somebody loves you back (yes, we love that song). :love3:
 
dede1129 said:
Just by sending that email I feel a weight off of my shoulders. I have been trying to be understanding and putting my needs on the back burner but I see that will not work in the long run for either of us.

Has anyone else tried this upfront approach with their men when proclaiming their needs and desires or were subtle hints received well?
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1st bolded: yes, of course.

2nd bolded: I don't have time for that.
 
He's booked us a spa overnight stay for valentines/his birthday.

I chose the hotel as he is useless lol
 
Sooo he sent me flowers yesterday to my job and asked me to dinner this weekend at a really nice restaurant...that's not a real apology. I'm still very angry. He still has yet to give me an explanation about anything.
 
Do y'all complain to your friends about the guys youre dating? I feel I've made a terrible mistake giving out too many details. Crazy thing is their men have them in way worse circumstances!

I tell no lie A's husband has been in jail since before Christmas and B's whatever he is embarrassed her last time we all went out by announcing to the waiter to split the check and bring him his receipt since he wasn't paying for her because "his time isn't free"

All I complained about was that he skipped a day of texting me :perplexed: (He lost his phone) They had a field day in my inbox coming up with all these scenarios of who he was with and what he could've been doing. I'm honestly perplexed because they have all these overly critical opinions on someone that hasn't done even the smallest fraction of the things their men have done. Where were these standards when they were dating? :perplexed:
 
SuchaLady said:
Do y'all complain to your friends about the guys youre dating? I feel I've made a terrible mistake giving out too many details. Crazy thing is their men have them in way worse circumstances!

I tell no lie A's husband has been in jail since before Christmas and B's whatever he is embarrassed her last time we all went out by announcing to the waiter to split the check and bring him his receipt since he wasn't paying for her because "his time isn't free"

All I complained about was that he skipped a day of texting me :perplexed: (He lost his phone) They had a field day in my inbox coming up with all these scenarios of who he was with and what he could've been doing. I'm honestly perplexed because they have all these overly critical opinions on someone that hasn't done even the smallest fraction of the things their men have done. Where were these standards when they were dating? :perplexed:
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Nope I just complain to you ladies... as far as my friends are concerned we are living in eternal bliss. I don't need those kind of mind games and hypothetical scenarios being thrown at me on top of my own thoughts. ...no bueno

If I did my girlfriends would always have me giving my SO the side eye for no factual reason
 
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dede1129 said:
Nope I just complain to you ladies... as far as my friends are concerned we are living in eternal bliss. I don't need those kind of mind games and hypothetical scenarios being thrown at me on top of my own thoughts. ...no bueno

If I did my girlfriends would always have me giving my SO the side eye for no factual reason
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I'm super private and have used the slogan "y'all can meet him at the wedding" :giggle: for years. But honestly I was frustrated and decided to talk to them. They took it and ran with it. Never again. Never.
 
Yea I dont complain in rl to anyone. I keep it here and anonymous. Actually i have a friend i will do that with but she lives 2000 mi away and doesn't know anyone in my circle to gossip to. I recommend everyone get a long distance friend. Lol

Oh and the friends who come up with crazy scenarios are just projecting their own trifling relationship issues onto yours.
 
I made the same mistake recently. I was moaning to some friends about the xmas gifts he got me. I was basically being a spoilt brat and should have been more grateful. My friends weren't negative but I realised I should have kept it to myself. It was pure gossip for them.
Mouth shut irl from now on.
 
SO doesn't want anyone to know we met online. He tells everyone that we met at a certain restaurant/bar.
I have refused to lie as these things always come out and I don't want to look like I was ashamed of something that is perfectly normal. Here in the UK it is still ever so slightly taboo but 1 of my best mates met her man online.

Anyone who asks I will tell them the truth but when I have met his family I have gone along with his 'lie' and will do the same when I meet his friends.

I used to work with one of his good friends and told him that I saw him on a dating site 18 months ago so his mates are doing it too! He was surprised by this.

Should I not be telling my people the truth because of his wishes? Abit late now I guess!!

He knows I do tell the truth to my people and said he doesn't want me to lie to them if it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Anyone else had this issue?
 
Bublin said:
SO doesn't want anyone to know we met online. He tells everyone that we met at a certain restaurant/bar. I have refused to lie as these things always come out and I don't want to look like I was ashamed of something that is perfectly normal. Here in the UK it is still ever so slightly taboo but 1 of my best mates met her man online. Anyone who asks I will tell them the truth but when I have met his family I have gone along with his 'lie' and will do the same when I meet his friends. I used to work with one of his good friends and told him that I saw him on a dating site 18 months ago so his mates are doing it too! He was surprised by this. Should I not be telling my people the truth because of his wishes? Abit late now I guess!! He knows I do tell the truth to my people and said he doesn't want me to lie to them if it makes me feel uncomfortable. Anyone else had this issue?
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I haven't but I understand the apprehension bc how it can seem taboo. I don't think it's necessary to lie about it though. Some people have a look of bewilderment but then they are like my friends or family do online dating. Times are changing, it's not embarrassing I think it is a cool story to tell.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
I would never complain to my girlfriends about FH. I may ask valuable advice but that would go to my mom or an elder. I think it is important to protect your relationship. The issue need to go to him not others. The only way I could say something if it was something drastic or extreme.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
SuchaLady
I feel for you.
This is the passive aggressiveness some folks in close circles have with either. Waiting for the opportunity to show "I am above you." or it's the old adage, misery loves company...
 
I think 2015 will be operation try to date. I need to get the weight loss going, feel better about myself and I guess give dating a shot.
 
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