She Thinks My Hair Is Short!

[Christa438]

I don't think your friend meant to be rude. She just has a different perception of what long/short is.

ITA . a lot of people would consider it short-medium. I personally start describing hair long at full APL and BSL. But your hair is definitely healthy and pretty!

 

[michaela]

Ur hair is not short !
it looks Very healthy over all!!
Let people think what they wanna think
They want know what to think when they see how healthy and long it will be!
By looking at your photos i can tell you are on the right track!

take care

 

[aloof one]

I dont think anything is wrong with short hair, and dont feel like you said anything extremly rude,---imo i just think you are a really really blunt person and i've seen you get into a couple of little debates/talks so i was just makeing an observation/wondering if you could see that

But anyway, i agree that if your confident about something, then no-ones opinions should matter
But then i guess at the same time if your working toward something, and someone in a position that your not at yet puts you down/sets you back/gives you a reality check without even knowing they did it or not, it can shake you and people just respond differently.

I was posting in that one thread with the acne remark, and actually thought you took it better than most people would have *shrug*, i think you have thicker skin than alot.

I dont have an opinion positve or negative on the way you responsed in the this thread though, was just stating how blunt i thought you are once again.

If a pregnant lady was sad asked you if she looked fat, and she kinda did---ETA--How would you answer her?

Yea I am pretty blunt now, probably moreso than before IRL and online. I used to sugarcoat things and it got me in trouble. I would rather choose the truth over feelings anyday. Feelings is an excuse to let your pear shaped 240 pound friend get to the club in skinny jeans and a corset (this really happened) when she thought she was modestly dressed. If we worry about how people feel all the time instead of letting them know whats real its only going to backfire down the road. People who are always told lies eventually depend on the opinions of others, so they will never feel that they acheived anything unless somene else can confirm it. Just because something is negative doesn't mean it isn't the truth. And a lot of times negativity is relative too. If you think short hair is bad, that doesn't mean you automatically don't have what others view as short hair. Ruckus thinks black is bad but guess what, he's black. What people think and what he tells himself isn't going to change that.


Anyway, I remember that thread. I laughed at it earlier when I posted because I remember who said it and everything, the funny part is the second time the other person did it... she thought I had been talking about her personally in the thread... so I think her first post was basically just to try to insult me. Then the second one was trying a little harder... The make up thread was just sad because the person obviously felt the only way she could prove her point was attacking how I looked. I've gotten a lot of that, which I understand. I'm thin, so I'm always going to get the "emaciated or anorexic or thin people aren't healthy" cards. Errbody knows I started Accutane, so 9 times out of 10 if an argument happens my face comes into it . I almost expect it now, but I don't care as much as some think I should.

If a preggers woman wanted to know if she looked fat, I would be like... well you are carrying an extra 30 pounds because you are carrying a child... so whether or not you look fat should be the least of your concern.

 

[RegaLady]

Different things are defined by different cultures. I remember seeing somewhere that a magazine called Beyonce dark skinned erplexed. And to nonblack people shoulder length hair is short. Imagine if a white girl or Asian girl got hair that length, they would think the girl had short hair. But, after so much time and effort I could see why you would be offended. I would to. She didn't mean any harm.
I remember a guy back in grade school was saying that this girl's hair was longer than mine. And her hair was chicken scratch dry, brittle and short. I thought my hair was so longer than hers, and even longer than most girls in the class. Boy was I wrong, according to him. So, needless to say, that humbled me!

 

[firecracker]

Yeah, you to LOL, --Your a grandmother gettin on people about your grandbabies hairstyles arent you? LOL

Just dont do this one day (heres my grandmother) "What in the world is your mom doing to your hair?! Its getting so short! It looks a hot mess!" "your almost ******** arent you? your hair used to be so pretty" heres me on the inside---- Thats the truth gone wrong right there lol.

Oh I won't say one negative word about the daughter in law
in front of the baby. I'm leave them to their own devices outside of those Cripette hairdo's.

 

[God_Favor]

Keep caring for your hair, it is beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
People have different perceptions on hair length (short, medium, long). My hair is your length and I consider my hair "short" and this is because I used to have hair length that was mid back. So I really think my hair is short. A co-worker of mine told me just today that she would love to have short hair like mine but she is scared to cut it (white chick) .


To her your hair is "short", not a big deal. It should not change your perception on your hair length.

 

[firecracker]

But i think theres truth and lie, and hurting peoples feelings or making them feel good

And i think you can tell someone the truth while making them feel good (while not having to lie) ...dont think the truth always has to hurt/sound rude or mean

Very true and with practice as well as, waiting a few minutes before hitting submit helz some of us just might get it right.


















KEEP HO'S OOPS I MEAN HOPE ALIVE!

 

[RegaLady]

I was gonna and forgot to ask that too.
I wore my Halle Berry do and even the shorter Toni Braxton pixie for years. And I do not want to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT.

I was turning heads left and right. It sounds as if OP was offended. But why?nur neck, its sassy...

I second this! Nothing on me got me more attention then short hair. I am just wanting something different, now. And if doesn't work out, I am going back!

 

[Browndilocks]

 

[Jynkx]

now lets put the shoe on the other foot..........


would you consider Kimchi's hair length long on someone else of another race???? i wouldnt. im not saying anything is wrong or right with any length, but just being real. and for me it is racist to hold black people up to a different light. so if its use or them i use the same scale. i said in a different thread that to me hair must be PAST BSL to be long......to me.

 

[zora]

now lets put the shoe on the other foot..........


would you consider Kimchi's hair length long on someone else of another race???? i wouldnt. im not saying anything is wrong or right with any length, but just being real. and for me it is racist to hold black people up to a different light. so if its use or them i use the same scale. i said in a different thread that to me hair must be PAST BSL to be long......to me.

Racist? I think you're getting a little carried away here. If an Kerala Indian said Jennifer Anistion had short hair, I'd hardly call her racist.

I think it's time for a 'clank, clank' for this thread.

 

[SparklingFlame]

I was gonna and forgot to ask that too.
I wore my Halle Berry do and even the shorter Toni Braxton pixie for years. And I do not want to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT.

I was turning heads left and right. It sounds as if OP was offended. But why? Short hair is not a bad thing. In fact, it is quite sexy. Showing off your neck, its sassy...

I loved my pixie Halle/Toni Braxton do. I wore them both for about 5 years.

 

[hopeful]

Dear OP, I couldn't read the whole thread but just wanted to tell you I think your hair is pretty and a very nice length. You should be proud. Don't let anybody change your feelings about yourself. Ever since my hair started touching my back you can't tell me nothin' for real, after years of never getting past neck length my hair finally feels long to me and that is all that matters.

 

[Jynkx]

Racist? I think you're getting a little carried away here. If an Kerala Indian said Jennifer Anistion had short hair, I'd hardly call her racist.

I think it's time for a 'clank, clank' for this thread.

i dont thik what i said is me "being carried away". and i sure didnt mean to offend. but, when other races seperate us from the rest of the planet we call them rascist. right? so i feel it is no different when we do it to ourselves. i just dont think the ladies here would call an asian or white girl with shoulder length hair long. just imagine yourself describing someone (non-black) with hair that length, what would you say about the hair? for me i think it is interesting how there are so many point of views on this subject. why should the tread be locked?

 

[Hair Iam]

Based on hair charts your hair is not short ..nor is it long..its medium length. your hair is healthy and growing ..your coworker was probably speaking based her own hair length experiences. In the real world for an AA woman you have longer than average hair

 

[schipperchow1]

First of all, OP, congratulations on your progress, keep up the good work.

I realize you know on some level that your hair is not long but is longer than it was. As others have said, I did not find her comment negative or an attempt to "keep you in your place", unless her tone expressed otherwise. However, it seems as though you wanted some ackowledgement of your progress. Unless you had explained your hair growth struggles with her, she would not have known that this was what you were seeking and would not know to give it to you. That's why there's LHCF, to provide the encouragement that we need as we grow through this hair growing journey that people IRL can't provide. Since most of us are here to either grow healthier hair or longer hair, it tends to be an area of high importance and or sensitivity that again people IRL just don't share.

 

[aloof one]

Well I'm glad somebody else noticed

New title for this thread should be "April Progress Pic"

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

Well I'm glad somebody else noticed

New title for this thread should be "April Progress Pic"

Sit down!!!!

 

[aloof one]

Sit down!!!!

But MPJ... I cliff noted my post!

 

[Energist]

White, Latin, Asian people usually look at length different than we do, because of what they have seen and expect hair wise from their own culture. It's normal, and well most of them do not realize that the subject of hair can be a very delicate "don't go there" issue for many Black people. I don't think that she thought she said anything wrong. Atleast she wasn't one of these completely ignorant arses who wouldn't even bother asking if you're going to grow it longer, because they don't think that Black hair can grow anyways. So take it easy. Your hair looks lovely and healthy!

 

[ladylibra]

now lets put the shoe on the other foot..........


would you consider Kimchi's hair length long on someone else of another race???? i wouldnt. im not saying anything is wrong or right with any length, but just being real. and for me it is racist to hold black people up to a different light. so if its use or them i use the same scale. i said in a different thread that to me hair must be PAST BSL to be long......to me.

i kind of agree with you. it's like we have to lower the bar for ourselves... if you speak proper English, you "talk like a white person." like slang and jumbled jibberish is the best we can do as black people. and no i don't always speak proper English, but you get what i'm saying. i had some more examples but didn't feel like typing all of them...

just because it may be less common to see black women with WL hair (for WHATEVER reasons), doesn't mean we should make APL the new WL.

 

[Supergirl]

i kind of agree with you. it's like we have to lower the bar for ourselves... if you speak proper English, you "talk like a white person." like slang and jumbled jibberish is the best we can do as black people. and no i don't always speak proper English, but you get what i'm saying. i had some more examples but didn't feel like typing all of them...

just because it may be less common to see black women with WL hair (for WHATEVER reasons), doesn't mean we should make APL the new WL.

I bet you're really cool in person.

sorry...back to the topic

 

[ladylibra]

I bet you're really cool in person.

sorry...back to the topic

awwww thank you! i still think i'm kind of a dork though

 

[Jynkx]

i kind of agree with you. it's like we have to lower the bar for ourselves... if you speak proper English, you "talk like a white person." like slang and jumbled jibberish is the best we can do as black people. and no i don't always speak proper English, but you get what i'm saying. i had some more examples but didn't feel like typing all of them...

just because it may be less common to see black women with WL hair (for WHATEVER reasons), doesn't mean we should make APL the new WL.

thank you for seeing my point, ladylibra. im not trying to be controversial or anything its just that i observe this behavior all the time.

i just think black women have a hard time growing hair due to our styling. that is why there are more little girls with long hair than grown women. i have seen plenty of black women with un-straightened long length. it just isnt hangin and swangin. you all have seen unbeliveable stretched length on kinky hair. i dont want anyone to think that i dont understand the difficulty some have with growing hair. i do. we compare our hair to the other races and try to rock the same straight hair and this is our downfall. dont think im dissing straight hair, however you attain it. i love straight hair. let me repeat that. I LOVE STRAIGHT HAIR! but is our love of it that keeps us at shortedr lengths than everyone else. when i used to straighen my hair it was growing and breaking and not really getting past certain lengths. i am one of the laziest ladies when it comes to beauty treatments. i hate to primp. so i have been wearing my hair in a bun with very little attention and i have ridiculous length. and i have been noticing that a lot of the ladies here with crazy length keep it very simple and hardly ever/never straighten their hair. i have never seen so much long hair on black women til i came here. so now i know it is possible to get it. that is why i refuse to seperate us from everyone when i make comparisons of any kind. hair is hair and women are women, no matter the race.

sorry to be so long winded..........just feelin chatty.

 

[aloof one]

i kind of agree with you. it's like we have to lower the bar for ourselves... if you speak proper English, you "talk like a white person." like slang and jumbled jibberish is the best we can do as black people. and no i don't always speak proper English, but you get what i'm saying. i had some more examples but didn't feel like typing all of them...

just because it may be less common to see black women with WL hair (for WHATEVER reasons), doesn't mean we should make APL the new WL.

Exactly. ITA. I think its sad we have to have people confirm to us that SL is long... we don't think its long on anybody else, but we want so bad for others to believe we are Repunzel when we get to SL... That is like implying once we get to SL thats it, we are equal to somebody nonblack who is WL... It is just minimalizing ourselves IMO.

 

[wonderstar]

just because it may be less common to see black women with WL hair (for WHATEVER reasons), doesn't mean we should make APL the new WL.

I agree with that.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

I agree with that.

Me too.

Also your hair is GORGEOUS! THAT's what I think of when I think 'long'

 

[cocoberry10]

Short hair to a non black person IRL is like apl and up. Its long to them once it hits bsl and beyond. Don't think she was trying to offend and your hair looks very healthy and growing. Wait till the end of the year you can flap your hair in her face next time

I agree with this. At minimum, most White/non-Black women I know consider anyone with hair shoulder length and shorter to have short hair. Look in the White hair magazines next time you are at the store. Their "short hair section," will include styles shoulder length and shorter.

APL is SOMETIMES considered midlength, sometimes it's short (depending on who you ask).

As Kurlee said BSL and longer is usually considered "long"

Many non-Black women back in the day wore their hair WSL, so even nowadays BSL being long wouldn't have been "super-long" back then like it is now! Most women nowadays wear their hair no longer than BSL to MBL. There aren't tons of women of any race IMO who wear WSL anymore (it seems to be less "popular").

 

[cocoberry10]

Here we go! I know my hair is not long. I never said that it was long, but I don't consider it to be short either. And I never said that I think that she is obligated to say that my hair is long. As a matter of fact, I didn't ask for her opinion, she brought it up yesterday. She made it seem like I was bald the way she said it. I went through a lot growing up when my hair started falling out due to a bad relaxer and I had really short hair, so maybe I am sensitive. I finally think that I am achieving some length with some months of braids and trying to reach a goal and someone comes along and says my hair is short. My question is, why does it seem like you're jumping on me?

Don't take it personally Kimiche, it's a matter of "race" or "culture" (if you want to call it that).

Non-Black women are used to having long hair as a whole. So, what's long vs. what's short to them is different.

I don't necessarily think most Black women have really short hair (i.e. Halle Berry or Malinda Williams), but MOST Black women probably have hair no longer than shoulder length.

Yes, there are and always will be Black women with BSL, WSL, MBL, and hiplength hair, but I do not personally think this represents the majority. And we on the board know that part of that is probably due to improper care more than "lack of growth."

So, as was said before, although your hair isn't "short" to you, it's probably "short" to your co-worker, who thinks that BSL hair would not be "short" (just my opinion)!

 

[cocoberry10]

If I were describing you to someone, I would say you have short hair. Sorry. It's not meant as an insult at all. I happen to think your hair looks nice. But it isn't long...to me. I don't consider shoulder length hair long. It's all relative, I guess.

I don't think your co-worker was trying to insult you, but then I wasn't there and didn't hear her tone or manner of speaking. You know best. Maybe she likes your hair and thinks it would look even better if it were longer. She probably doesn't know how much such a conversation would affect and hurt you. To her, she's probably just asking about hair like she would ask about a pair of shoes or something. She doesn't comprehend what your hair means to you.

I'm sorry you were hurt by it. Try to just give a brief answer and move on to the next topic if it comes up again.

OT: Cichelle, you have made AMAZING hair progress in 2-3 years!