Is anyone else *afraid* to grow their hair longer?

[anon123]

^^Okay, then I can understand that. That topic would be more along the lines of "do you feel all hair styles are appropriate for all places?" That's a different question. Being hesitant about growing long hair because you think others will dislike you is a different topic all together.

 

[ladylibra]

i understand you completely OP. i've told the story of how i was ostracized when i started jr. high because i had long hair here before... and how all of a sudden when i got my hair burnt off and then cut into a short style the other girls became "friendly" towards me.

i did not grow my hair out for years, all over that stupid ish.

my hair isn't even "long" yet (not past BSL) and already some black women are showing their haterific jealousy. but i'm an adult now, let them look like petty bishes all they want to.

 

[delitefulmane]

Nope! I'm growing it down to the floor and I dare somebody to step on it. But I understand how you feel.

I agree!! That is how I want my hair as well!! I have always dreamed of having long hair! I know it is possible so WHY SHOULD MY HARD WORK GO UNREWARDED?? I plan on swing my hair in the face of all my haters!!

That's right. What, now I'm not going to wear a flattering pair of jeans cuz my booty hot? Cover up my face because it's pretty? Would you change the way you talk so people thought you weren't smart or educated and trying to be better than them? Why in the world should one have to apologize for looking good and being fabulous? I'm sorry you feel this way but I hope you can overcome it and enjoy what you're working for! Let other people's hang ups be their hang ups, don't make them your own.

ITA!! Why should the black race be the ONLY race that believes we were destined to have short, damages, unmanageable hair? Maybe if people see more and more black women with long hair it will change the mindset of the skeptics!!

 

[MissM]

I've had long hair most of my life and I had to deal with women being jealous for most of my life. Get ready for some stares from people and other haters coming your way. I don't blame the actual person, though, I blame our (black people's) ideas about one another and whatever has made that person have low self-esteem enough to hate me just for some hair. Hair does not make a person, I've had short hair too and nothing changed about me (I was still cute!). Yeah there are some heffas who do think they are all that cause they are black with long hair but I don't pay them any mind at all.

Anyone who has taken the time to grow their hair to the length they want should enjoy their new look!!!

 

[Adeh]

.....

 

[Mz.Shug]

For me my hair "out" gives off more sex apeal than I may want to show at times...

I not trying to make anyone other than myself more comfortable. For me it's more like descretion. I won't wear f me pumps to work (even though they look hot )

The insecurity of others is not my problem. A precious chunk of my life has already been lost due to caring about the opinions of others therefore I care not.

"As we let our own light shine, we unconciously give other people the permission to do the same."-Marianne Williamson

 

[caribeandiva]

Hmm...maybe it's just me and my own personal insecurity then.

I don't like to be the center of attention too much, and with this new "hair" I seem to be getting more attention than usual, and it's kind of putting me ill at ease. At least with family members. With my friends I don't feel that way at all. And with strangers I don't really feel self-conscious. But people that have known me for a while like co-workers, family members, and some in my congregation tend to make me more "nervous" about growing my hair long.

Just recently after my service on Sunday a sister in my congregation came around and put her hands through my hair saying: "Wow, your hair has gotten so long!" All loud and stuff!

It's flattering, but at the same time I'm worrying about what others may think. I feel like the majority of people are negative, and that even if you have something that's good...they feel the need knock you down a peg.

I completely understand. I'm dark-skinned and my whole life i had neck length hair or shorter. My goal is waistlength and i do feel a little nervous that people are gonna think i'm stuck up because i have long hair. Oh well! i can't control other people's thoughts or behavior but i sure can control mine so that's why i'm not letting this stop me. I was made to have long hair and that's that.

 

[Aveena]

The insecurity of others is not my problem. A precious chunk of my life has already been lost due to caring about the opinions of others therefore I care not.

"As we let our own light shine, we unconciously give other people the permission to do the same."-Marianne Williamson

I don't care about the opinions of others That's one thing that has served me well so I agree with you on that point.

 

[KEWLKAT103]

I've never felt this way. Grow hair grow!

 

[KEWLKAT103]

double post

 

[Mz.Shug]

Demi I was laughing at your f me pumps. Just wanted to clarify. ;0)

Jimmy Choo?

 

[Gracie]

Nope, not an issue for me.

 

[doublejo]

No, I am seldom scared or self conscious about my hair length. I've always been confident, with long or short hair. I've always excelled in my endeavors. In many ways I think the women I knew with long hair felt this was the one thing they had over me. When sharing my elation about reaching my goals, I sometimes hear a hint of jealously in their tones. Most of them didn't think I would make it this far. My hair is a testament to my diligence. I always believed if I worked hard, I got achieve anything. I try to pass this along as much as possible. To the haters I just let them wallow in ignorance.

 

[Aveena]

Demi I was laughing at your f me pumps. Just wanted to clarify. ;0)

Jimmy Choo?

Man, I wish but yeah... I would love to add them to my collection. I lovve sexy shoes.

You might as well call me flow flow then.. cause the hair is most likely flowing then.

 

[RegaLady]

Funny you should mention this, but I use to wonder this. I got alot of compliments from both women and men, and women would be friendly towards me with my shorter hair. They would tell me my hair looked better short. I got confused because I really thought they were comfortable with me like that(don't get me wrong I look good in it, and they don't mean any harm). But, I was always afraid to think I was all that because you can quickly not gain female peers. But, I don't know, if you show yourself friendly then that should break the ice. If they don't care, than who cares. People hate over stupid stuff!

 

[CokoQt]

Hmm...maybe it's just me and my own personal insecurity then.

I don't like to be the center of attention too much, and with this new "hair" I seem to be getting more attention than usual, and it's kind of putting me ill at ease. At least with family members. With my friends I don't feel that way at all. And with strangers I don't really feel self-conscious. But people that have known me for a while like co-workers, family members, and some in my congregation tend to make me more "nervous" about growing my hair long.

Just recently after my service on Sunday a sister in my congregation came around and put her hands through my hair saying: "Wow, your hair has gotten so long!" All loud and stuff!

It's flattering, but at the same time I'm worrying about what others may think. I feel like the majority of people are negative, and that even if you have something that's good...they feel the need knock you down a peg.

I can definitely relate to this. I feel the same way. Its especially hard when you don't wear your hair down that much and then you do one day out of the blue. I don't get much positive feedback from family. Funny thing is they made such a huge fuss about me getting a short haircut like I committed some crime and now they say "your hair is long enough" and don't really understand why I am trying to grow my hair long. I am only shoulder length, so I don't know what they'll say when I reach my goal of BSL.

 

[Brees_hair]

I welcome the compliments and hate. I am growin my hair for me, what others think or say is secondary if I let it even matter. People will always have something to say whether you hair is short, long, thick, thin, natural or relaxed, there will always be a critic. Do what makes you feel fab.

 

[Starian]

Attention makes me itch. I've attempted a few times to look nice and wear my hair loose, and the flood of attention comes, a lot positive. I appreciate folks who say it's pretty, etc.

Then I get the looks. From people who always spoke to me before, and now that their male coworkers are staring at me kind of hard...



The she thinks she's too much looks. The stares. When it's never my intention to one up anyone and the concept of jealousy irriates me.

I also don't like the complimentors who compliment in their loudest outdoor voice.

Them: GIRL YOU GOT SOME PRETTY HAIR! I DIDNT KNOW YOU HAD THAT MUCH HAIR! WHY YOU DONT NEVER DO NOTHING TO IT?

So back into a bun my hair goes until I get the itch to wear it down. It's like I purposely downplay myself to appease other people's fragile egos. And to avoid attention. I always think to myself it's just hair. Nothing to be jealous about. Such a small part of life. I'd rather them pay attention to my kind demeanor, ya know? Something worth something.

It's their problem, not mine though. I have to work on myself and not be afraid to shine a bit.

 

[Shalilac]

Attention makes me itch. I've attempted a few times to look nice and wear my hair loose, and the flood of attention comes, a lot positive. I appreciate folks who say it's pretty, etc.

Then I get the looks. From people who always spoke to me before, and now that their male coworkers are staring at me kind of hard...



The she thinks she's too much looks. The stares. When it's never my intention to one up anyone and the concept of jealousy irriates me.

I also don't like the complimentors who compliment in their loudest outdoor voice.

Them: GIRL YOU GOT SOME PRETTY HAIR! I DIDNT KNOW YOU HAD THAT MUCH HAIR! WHY YOU DONT NEVER DO NOTHING TO IT?

So back into a bun my hair goes until I get the itch to wear it down. It's like I purposely downplay myself to appease other people's fragile egos. And to avoid attention. I always think to myself it's just hair. Nothing to be jealous about. Such a small part of life. I'd rather them pay attention to my kind demeanor, ya know? Something worth something.

It's their problem, not mine though. I have to work on myself and not be afraid to shine a bit.

Gurl! This entire post sounds just like me 4 yrs ago when I had bra strap hair (that I ended up shaving off). I understand exactly what you mean in all the bolded areas! Thanks for sharing and I really appreciate your honesty! This time around "Umma do me" LOL For real!

 

[SoAnxious12]

nope i'm not afraid/apprehensive/hesitant none of that. As a matter of fact everyone else should be afraid etc...
I plan on acting very brand new when i hit bsl or mbl. lol
let me them haters hate and not speak. I'll swing my hair in their face and pray it clipped them in the eye. lmao i got problems.

 

[tricie]

Um... no The more drastic growth the better.

Yep!!