She Thinks My Hair Is Short!

[MD_Lady]

My co worker and I are cool. We take breaks together and talk and what not. Anyhow, we took a break yesterday to get some coffee and the subject of hair was brought up by her. Her questions to me were, "Are you going to grow your hair out longer?" Like it's so fawking easy. "Do you like having it short?" The way she was talking in my opinion, made it seem like I have no hair at all. She is Asian and has normal length hair. I know my hair is short in comparison to hers, but I consider my hair to be a decent length. I would like it to be a little longer though. She asked me if my hair was ever longer, I told her maybe a little bit longer back in the day.

A few months back when I got my hair done, I told her that my hair stylist said that my hair grew. My co worker thought that it looked shorter. If she thinks it's short now, imagine if I ever get a Halle Berry or Malinda Williams type short cut. erplexed

Here is a snap shot of what my hair looks like now:

Some people are just a little on the blunt side and aren't the best when it comes to having a way with words. It sounds like she was just using herself as a point of reference (even though, based on your picture and description of her hair, your hair is probably just a few inches shorter than hers). Don't get bummed about it, or anything. Your hair is healthy and beautiful regardless of what this person has to say about its length

 

[aloof one]

Oh yes... because everytime someone tells the truth its a conspiracy theory!

If I say someone has see through ends I'm a hater. If she posts a thread talking about she made BSL and there are 4 strands of hair at her waist and the rest are at her armpit... we're supposed to be all talkin about CONGRATULATIONS your hair is so full and healthy!
If someone says the girl has short or medium length and not long hair then they have their claws out. Girl isn't BSL or APL and just barely got past her shoulders but everyone is supposed to perceive her hair as long. Could have the shortest hair in the room but nobody is allowed to say that.
If someone says a person is relatively dark skinned they hate their own race... person could be Wesley Snipes black with a tan and its still hating to say the person is dark.

What are we allowed to tell the truth about? Is there a list of things that are too sensitive to be honest about so we just have to cater to peoples irrational emotions? So what ive you've had setbacks, so what if you were a TWA last week? Are strangers supposed to recognize that and tell you your hair is long and believe its long in order for you to feel that it is?

You can think your hair is one thing and someone else can think its another, that won't change the fact that it is 6 inches long or whatever it is. I can call someone 5'5" tall and someone else can call the person short... does eithe of our opinions change the height in any way? If not, why is it so hurtful that somene disagrees?

 

[BlkRushhin]

Why some here had to take the negative stance and tell you your hair is not long is typical LHCF drama seeking BS. It could have just as well had been stated, your hair is medium length.

Would you rather people lie to her instead of giving their honest opinions? An opposing opinion shouldn't be viewed as negativity.

Like most people already stated, hair length is relative. Or it can be considered subjective.

If a person comes from a background where WL is the standard (perhaps in their family), then more than likely SL would be considered pretty short in their eyes. Personally I don't think her hair is short, however I wouldn't call it long.

 

[princessnad]

Yea... cause that is like fat people getting mad when someone calls them fat. Its just silly. Just because someone wants to believe that they are cute and healthy at 300 lbs doesn't mean everyone with sense they run into is going to tell them they are thin. So when someone does say, "Actually you do look pretty big" they get to be shocked?erplexed

Same with hair. You know you aren't repunzel so why are you letting the word "Short" hurt so much?

In the same vein, if a random person called a fat person fat without being coerced and without it being brought up previously, it would be a little offensive.

BTW I consider the OPs hair medium. I think once you are a little longer than SL you are medium and longer than BSL you are long.

It's like calling a medium person who has been actively trying to lose weight "fat". It may offend them. I don't see that as something so wrong.

I understand your point. But cut the OP some slack. She was airing her frustrations and I am sure a little encouragement is all that's needed.

 

[firecracker]

She was venting and now its supposedly about her self esteem. Hair esteem might be more like it since she went thru some hair issues prior and Chu Ling wants to piss on her parade about her stylist comment.

Claude the what is short, medium and long debate could go on forever. It doesn't matter what Chu Ling the nail lady niece or any of us thinks about the OP's hair anyways. OP keep up the good work.

OT:CMW I'm wearing braids to grow out that horrid dye job I attempted. Chile my hair looked a hot mess. I sure do miss my ADD = Angela Davis Disorder

 

[Oasis]

How does she not know you like your hair that length?

Why is it that when a black woman has short hair, it's because it won't grow or something's wrong with it?

Black women + short hair = Something wrong, unable to grow, desperately seeking long hair

Non-black women + short hair = they cut it, they like short hair

Anyway, I'd consider SL on the longer end of short but not short exactly. Probably medium length.

If you weren't even talking about hair, why would she bring it up?

 

[silvergirl]

short hair isnt a bad thing.

as far as i can see with your picture and avatar, your hair looks nice and healthy. it just isnt long. but i dont see why that matters.

 

[zora]

Oh yes... because everytime someone tells the truth its a conspiracy theory!

If I say someone has see through ends I'm a hater. If she posts a thread talking about she made BSL and there are 4 strands of hair at her waist and the rest are at her armpit... we're supposed to be all talkin about CONGRATULATIONS your hair is so full and healthy!
If someone says the girl has short or medium length and not long hair then they have their claws out. Girl isn't BSL or APL and just barely got past her shoulders but everyone is supposed to perceive her hair as long. Could have the shortest hair in the room but nobody is allowed to say that.
If someone says a person is relatively dark skinned they hate their own race... person could be Wesley Snipes black with a tan and its still hating to say the person is dark.

What are we allowed to tell the truth about? Is there a list of things that are too sensitive to be honest about so we just have to cater to peoples irrational emotions? So what ive you've had setbacks, so what if you were a TWA last week? Are strangers supposed to recognize that and tell you your hair is long and believe its long in order for you to feel that it is?

You can think your hair is one thing and someone else can think its another, that won't change the fact that it is 6 inches long or whatever it is. I can call someone 5'5" tall and someone else can call the person short... does eithe of our opinions change the height in any way? If not, why is it so hurtful that somene disagrees?

That's just the point. You don't hold the truth in your hands. Hair length is a relative thing. I agree she should'nt be bummed out by what her Asian friend said, because the Asian chick's truth or view about hair length is different from the OP's, so at the end of the day, who cares?

But your tone and your comments about self-esteem went a little too far, IMO.

And to answer your other post, obviously you're not a docter
As for the OP's hair length, I never said it was long, I merely stated that I didn't think it was short. There is a thing in between called 'medium'.

 

[LunadeMiel]

Hey OP no worries...Keep doing what you are doing and in no time your hair will be down your back. I'm currently rocking a TWA and I can't wait until it grows out. Don't let other people's comments bother, I sure don't...

 

[ilovezag]

You said she is Asian, so she might not have meant to be rude. Maybe she doesn't understand your hair type. Your hair definitely isn't short cuz it touches your upper back! and that's good, dont worry about what she said.

 

[cmw45]

She was venting and now its supposedly about her self esteem. Hair esteem might be more like it since she went thru some hair issues prior and Chu Ling wants to piss on her parade about her stylist comment.

Claude the what is short, medium and long debate could go on forever. It doesn't matter what Chu Ling the nail lady niece or any of us thinks about the OP's hair anyways. OP keep up the good work.

OT:CMW I'm wearing braids to grow out that horrid dye job I attempted. Chile my hair looked a hot mess. I sure do miss my ADD = Angela Davis Disorder

LMBAO...SO WRONG! *Goes off to search for other post by firecracker*

 

[aloof one]

I guess we are supposed to lie...

Lemme go to OT and post a thread saying someone told me my abs were tight and buff and cut up like a knife fight... I mean... they had no right to tell me that, right? Even if it is "relative" who do they think they are calling me swoll? I mean... what if I think that is bad, can they really say that about me? What if I want to believe I have a more flat stomach without all the muscle definition? They are just haters to be telling me what I don't want to hear after all my setbacks of trying to lose this manly torso!

 

[cmw45]

You said she is Asian, so she might not have meant to be rude. Maybe she doesn't understand your hair type. Your hair definitely isn't short cuz it touches your upper back! and that's good, dont worry about what she said.

This is VERY possible. I once had this really old Asian woman come up to me put her hands all up in my fro (an ya know how I feel about dat) and just keep saying "WOW." Her neice told me she had never seen a black person before and couldn't grasp the idea of my hair. WHILE this was PROBABLY not what was going on in this instance with the OP, it did make pause a bit the next time someone stuck their hands in my hair...before I karate-choped their hands off...cause she wasn't Asian or old. Cultural differences should not be completely disreguarded.

 

[firecracker]

I guess we are supposed to lie...

Lemme go to OT and post a thread saying someone told me my abs were tight and buff and cut up like a knife fight... I mean... they had no right to tell me that, right? Even if it is "relative" who do they think they are calling me swoll? I mean... what if I think that is bad, can they really say that about me? What if I want to believe I have a more flat stomach without all the muscle definition? They are just haters to be telling me what I don't want to hear after all my setbacks of trying to lose this manly torso!

OH HELZ TO THA NAWL!! yougotchdamn bragette

 

[InnerSoul]

Dang, and just when I was praising everyone for being so encouraging and uplifting! The claws are out I see!

yep! :swordfigh it does appear that way

 

[jaded_faerie]

who cares what she thinks...

your hair looks good

 

[aloof one]

OH HELZ TO THA NAWL!! yougotchdamn bragette

 

[ladylibra]

I guess we are supposed to lie...

Lemme go to OT and post a thread saying someone told me my abs were tight and buff and cut up like a knife fight... I mean... they had no right to tell me that, right? Even if it is "relative" who do they think they are calling me swoll? I mean... what if I think that is bad, can they really say that about me? What if I want to believe I have a more flat stomach without all the muscle definition? They are just haters to be telling me what I don't want to hear after all my setbacks of trying to lose this manly torso!

LOL you are wrong for that...

totally off topic but um... can we trade tummies...

 

[Sunshine_One]

WOW

There is a VERY BIG difference between hair cut in a TWA or "Halle Berry" cut and shoulder length hair. IMO Your entry into the long hair club begins @ shoulder length and continues on to however long YOU want to grow it.

OP your hair is pretty keep up the good work. Hair length can be subjective but IMO you hair is no where near SHORT.

Be Blessed!

 

[aloof one]

LOL you are wrong for that...

totally off topic but um... can we trade tummies...

Hey if you want it I'll box it up for you... but you need to package some of your hair and send that on over

 

[ladylibra]

Hey if you want it I'll box it up for you... but you need to package some of your hair and send that on over

now THAT i can do... you know how thick this ish is? i'll give you 75%

 

[winterinatl]

Here we go! I know my hair is not long. I never said that it was long, but I don't consider it to be short either. And I never said that I think that she is obligated to say that my hair is long. As a matter of fact, I didn't ask for her opinion, she brought it up yesterday. She made it seem like I was bald the way she said it. I went through a lot growing up when my hair started falling out due to a bad relaxer and I had really short hair, so maybe I am sensitive. I finally think that I am achieving some length with some months of braids and trying to reach a goal and someone comes along and says my hair is short. My question is, why does it seem like you're jumping on me?

I'm sorry your feeling were hurt by this (Asian girl's comment), but I don't think she was trying to be hurtful; you are percieving this yourself...how would she know what effort you have gone through to get it where it is? She only notices the length and condition,and wondered if you were going to let it grow out....I think you are being to sensitive about this.

Your response to this poster confirms you are being a bit sensitive.

 

[aloof one]

People are always going to state the obvious. Here's two examples where people have told me what I didn't want to hear. One where the person meant no harm and the other where they clearly did.

Me and my friend were talking about acne for some reason (he is an asian/white male and had some bad cystic acne at the time) and he mentioned that I had a lot of scars and some pimples too but mostly scars. I just about jumped on him at first then I realized...

1. We were talking about acne.
2. I did have scars, in fact a lot more than he did. Was he supposed to lie?
So I was like, yea I do have them.. I guess I should get on Accutane again... and here I am scars gone and no zits, so obviously it helped more more than hurt didn't it?

And another example. A make up thread got locked (I think it was make up?) and a siggy thread got locked... Both were not locked (well one disappeared) before someone felt the need to insult me based on my acne or the medicine I take for it. The funny thing is I didn't even report any of the posts, I was just like man... that's all you got? You don't like what I said about the thread so you have to personally attack me? It stung a bit but its not like I can get mad. I do take Accutane. So if someone types the word Accutane as an insult (amongst whatever else was said)... can I really be offended? What's wrong with it anyway,.... that stuff has me looking good, just like there is nothing wrong with short hair or SL hair... if anything what she said should have motivated you to keep growing it out... she was just like my friend pointing out the scars. No malicious intent. Unless she said it in an argument or was being sarcastic I still don't get why it was offensive...

 

[Lady Esquire]

There have been many varying opinions in this thread. Some think OP's hair is short, medium, and others beleive its the first step to "on its way to long". Which proves the point that hair length, especially at that length, is highly-subjective and relative.

On a more sensitive note, there is a drastic difference between stating your truth (your perception of what "long" hair is) as your own observation and opinion...AND stating your truth while cutting down someone else's view. There is something to be said about tact and decorum. When one poster states her opinion in a crass manner, it completely overshadows your opinion, which may most likely be valid and insightful. Many women on this board have learned the talent of expressing their views without doing so in a callous tone. Perhaps that comes with maturity, which some members lack. Others however, under the guise of keeping it honest, use that to spout out anything... and in any tone. Some mistake humour and wit, with rudeness.

Sure, some members are more sensitive than others. Some others have skin as thick as armour. That should be taken as a checks and balancing when feelings get hurt. However, it all boils down to having a discussion that "helps" one another, rather than mocking or ridiculing the other's opinions. Disagreement of opinion is not a license to make comments with rude undertones. Many of us here are quite intelligent and can see right through a lot of that cyber hostility.

 

[Iansan]

Don't worry, OP. About a year and a half ago an Asian co-worker made a similar comment about my then APL hair. Fast forward to today, my hair is longer than hers. Keep up the good work and you will be there too.

 

[InnerSoul]

There have been many varying opinions in this thread. Some think OP's hair is short, medium, and others beleive its the first step to "on its way to long". Which proves the point that hair length, especially at that length, is highly-subjective and relative.

On a more sensitive note, there is a drastic difference between stating your truth (your perception of what "long" hair is) as your own observation and opinion...AND stating your truth while cutting down someone else's view. There is something to be said about tact and decorum. When one poster states her opinion in a crass manner, it completely overshadows your opinion, which may most likely be valid and insightful. Many women on this board have learned the talent of expressing their views without doing so in a callous tone. Perhaps that comes with maturity, which some members lack. Others however, under the guise of keeping it honest, use that to spout out anything... and in any tone. Some mistake humour and wit, with rudeness.

Sure, some members are more sensitive than others. Some others have skin as thick as armour. That should be taken as a checks and balancing when feelings get hurt. However, it all boils down to having a discussion that "helps" one another, rather than mocking or ridiculing the other's opinions. Disagreement of opinion is not a license to make comments with rude undertones. Many of us here are quite intelligent and can see right through a lot of that cyber hostility.

Thank You so much for this post!! Couldn't have said it better myself

 

[healthynhappy]

Would you rather people lie to her instead of giving their honest opinions? An opposing opinion shouldn't be viewed as negativity.

Like most people already stated, hair length is relative. Or it can be considered subjective.

If a person comes from a background where WL is the standard (perhaps in their family), then more than likely SL would be considered pretty short in their eyes. Personally I don't think her hair is short, however I wouldn't call it long.

No. I was addressing a specific post where the first thing out of the poster's mouth is "well its not long". That right there is negativity, not an opposing opinion because the OP already stated that she knew her hair was not long. So why let that be the first thing out of your mouth? Like I said, typical drama seeking.

 

[fluffylocks]

Hey Kimiche!

I can understand where your comming from.

Alot of black people not on hairboards think that Shoulderlength is long hair, like chin/neck medium, and eye/halle berry type cuts short.

When i was growing my hair out i started from balding hair, damaged hair, and hair around eye length, and to me SL hair was still long--it was getting to around mid neck, and i was finally feeling like my hair was getting some length and decided to wear it out....

A white girl i worked with told me that she was surprised my hair was so short, and over exagerated also and made it sound as if i might as well be bald headed as well. It was the first time someone of another race had ever commented on my hair, and i was under the impression that everyone viewed long hair the same as me or i just never thought about it, and when your sensative about your hair like growing it out from a disaster, or you've never had long hair or shoulderlength hair and have wanted it badly and think your getting close/its now getting long, things like that can hurt.

Alot of women on this forum have started at SL, but its a true accomplishment

 

[zora]

Thank You so much for this post!! Couldn't have said it better myself

Me neither.

 

[Caramela]

People are always going to state the obvious. Here's two examples where people have told me what I didn't want to hear. One where the person meant no harm and the other where they clearly did.

Me and my friend were talking about acne for some reason (he is an asian/white male and had some bad cystic acne at the time) and he mentioned that I had a lot of scars and some pimples too but mostly scars. I just about jumped on him at first then I realized...

1. We were talking about acne.
2. I did have scars, in fact a lot more than he did. Was he supposed to lie?
So I was like, yea I do have them.. I guess I should get on Accutane again... and here I am scars gone and no zits, so obviously it helped more more than hurt didn't it?

And another example. A make up thread got locked (I think it was make up?) and a siggy thread got locked... Both were not locked (well one disappeared) before someone felt the need to insult me based on my acne or the medicine I take for it. The funny thing is I didn't even report any of the posts, I was just like man... that's all you got? You don't like what I said about the thread so you have to personally attack me? It stung a bit but its not like I can get mad. I do take Accutane. So if someone types the word Accutane as an insult (amongst whatever else was said)... can I really be offended? What's wrong with it anyway,.... that stuff has me looking good, just like there is nothing wrong with short hair or SL hair... if anything what she said should have motivated you to keep growing it out... she was just like my friend pointing out the scars. No malicious intent. Unless she said it in an argument or was being sarcastic I still don't get why it was offensive...

Very well stated. I don't find the conversation or comments the OP's coworker made offensive. Wasn't she asking if you wanted to grow your hair out, or if you liked it at the length it is? What about that offends you? Serious question. I understand you didn't ask for her opinion, but she really didn't give an opinion but rather asked for yours.
I'm not taking anything away from your hair. It's very full and healthy looking but I would consider that short too. Not as an insult but a factual observation. I'm sure it will be even more beautiful as you reach your hair goals