She Thinks My Hair Is Short!

[Lady Esquire]

Here we go! I know my hair is not long. I never said that it was long, but I don't consider it to be short either. And I never said that I think that she is obligated to say that my hair is long. As a matter of fact, I didn't ask for her opinion, she brought it up yesterday. She made it seem like I was bald the way she said it. I went through a lot growing up when my hair started falling out due to a bad relaxer and I had really short hair, so maybe I am sensitive. I finally think that I am achieving some length with some months of braids and trying to reach a goal and someone comes along and says my hair is short. My question is, why does it seem like you're jumping on me?

Awww, Kimiche, don't let the Asian chick, or any of us LHCFers piss you off. Hair is a sensitive topic for a lot of us. We are here to support one another. Share your stories with us, and take some of the responses with a grain of salt.

Imagine we were all in a room face-to-face, some gals will be hugging you, while others will be telling you to get over yourself. It beez that way, when girls get together to chat, in real and cyber life.

Grow on! And one day when some chick makes a dumbazz comment, you'll give her a swish of that loooong hair, and keep it moving.

 

[Morenita]

Hey OP, I'm sorry that she upset you. The thing is, when we work and work to get our hair to a goal length, we want to believe that it's gradually happening and we want others to give us reassurance that they can see our progress. I totally understand how you feel. Be happy and confident in knowing that your hair is beautiful. Try not to let it bother you...k?

I could not have said it better myself. In my opinion, people of different races can be a bit insensitive, even if they do not mean to be. Once in college, I had a professor tell me that I was "the smartest african american student that [he] had ever had" (he was asian and I was a straight A student)

Here we go! I know my hair is not long. I never said that it was long, but I don't consider it to be short either. And I never said that I think that she is obligated to say that my hair is long. As a matter of fact, I didn't ask for her opinion, she brought it up yesterday. She made it seem like I was bald the way she said it. I went through a lot growing up when my hair started falling out due to a bad relaxer and I had really short hair, so maybe I am sensitive. I finally think that I am achieving some length with some months of braids and trying to reach a goal and someone comes along and says my hair is short. My question is, why does it seem like you're jumping on me?

Woosa mami woosa I guess her comment would hurt if you have been thru some quasi serious hair issues but please don't allow your defense mechanism to get the best of you. If your hair is healthier than it used to be thats great, if length is what you want and you get it thats even better.

If you keep getting upset about your hair your stress level could delay your growing process and turn your hair into wheatj/k I hope you don't go off on my silly *** too!

Lol, I was like whoa, heads gonna roll. See, thats why I like these boards so much though! It DEFIES the black-woman-with-attitude-who-can't-grow-their-hair-anyway stereotype. Ya'll are my SISTERS man! SO supportive. I absolutely love that. Best $6.50 I have ever spent!

 

[klb120475]

Shoot....looks long to me.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

You know most Asian people grow their hair easy, so to her, your hair is probably short to her. That's all. To a lot of black ladies, your hair would be considered on the longer side.

I wouldn't take offense to it. I think conversations like that can be uncomfortable between races cuz you both are coming from diff. viewpoints.

 

[aloof one]

Here we go! I know my hair is not long. I never said that it was long, but I don't consider it to be short either. And I never said that I think that she is obligated to say that my hair is long. As a matter of fact, I didn't ask for her opinion, she brought it up yesterday. She made it seem like I was bald the way she said it. I went through a lot growing up when my hair started falling out due to a bad relaxer and I had really short hair, so maybe I am sensitive. I finally think that I am achieving some length with some months of braids and trying to reach a goal and someone comes along and says my hair is short. My question is, why does it seem like you're jumping on me?

It seems like I'm jumping on you because you're defensive about your hair.

You need to boost your self esteem or something, clearly the least offensive things about your hair is offending you for you to depend on other peoples opnions to determine how you feel about your hair/self.

Its just hair. Its not likke you have WL or something. Yes, its longer than it was and its growing, but that doesn't mean people are going to be crashing their cars to get a good look because of its length. Just calm down and realize the girl wasn't trying to hurt you. Obviously her normal length hair is what she considers long or medium or whatever, and the fact that you consider her har "normal" shows that you must think of your hair as short too. I don't get why you're so hurt by what she said...erplexed

 

[aloof one]

By the way Im not trying to hurt feelings, I'm just being honest.

My hair is the same length as yours when its straightened out fully, maybe an inch or so longer but the point is I still just ay I'm SL.

I don't get offended when people say I have short hair. Most black people I meet say I have long/pretty hair and a lot of white people say the same thing. But for the most part, most non black people I meet don't go on about how they think my hair is long, they refer to it as short or medium length. I don't get offended because its hair.

Its not like they are insulting my character or personaliy or intelligence or something. They are making an observation. I am not one bit hurt or offended by it. From the title I was thinking I was going to see someone at BSL or WL or something, like I could understand if someone told you your hair would never grow or that you had a bad texture and you were offended by it, but this is just a fact. Its not like it can or should be taken as an insult...

 

[Dposh167]

if she's bsl, & if she considers HER HAIR LONG....than clearly she'll consider SL HAIR SHORT. nuff said

 

[cmw45]

My co worker and I are cool. We take breaks together and talk and what not. Anyhow, we took a break yesterday to get some coffee and the subject of hair was brought up by her. Her questions to me were, "Are you going to grow your hair out longer?" Like it's so fawking easy. "Do you like having it short?" The way she was talking in my opinion, made it seem like I have no hair at all. She is Asian and has normal length hair. I know my hair is short in comparison to hers, but I consider my hair to be a decent length. I would like it to be a little longer though. She asked me if my hair was ever longer, I told her maybe a little bit longer back in the day.

A few months back when I got my hair done, I told her that my hair stylist said that my hair grew. My co worker thought that it looked shorter. If she thinks it's short now, imagine if I ever get a Halle Berry or Malinda Williams type short cut. erplexed

Here is a snap shot of what my hair looks like now:

WoW...really suprised at some of the responses...on the otherhand, I guess I should be used to it by now. I understand where the OP is coming from. It's not like she's desperate to have this woman's approval she was just surprised that the woman considered her hair really short. Especially, since if you ask many black folk they might say it was long. OP: I think hair length is relative. Eitherway you have a nice head of hair...

 

[cmw45]

It seems like I'm jumping on you because you're defensive about your hair.

You need to boost your self esteem or something, clearly the least offensive things about your hair is offending you for you to depend on other peoples opnions to determine how you feel about your hair/self.

Its just hair. Its not likke you have WL or something. Yes, its longer than it was and its growing, but that doesn't mean people are going to be crashing their cars to get a good look because of its length. Just calm down and realize the girl wasn't trying to hurt you. Obviously her normal length hair is what she considers long or medium or whatever, and the fact that you consider her har "normal" shows that you must think of your hair as short too. I don't get why you're so hurt by what she said...erplexed

I don't think she is being defensive...and if she is...it's not like she doesn't almost have reason. I mean, all the OP was express was shock that someone would consider her shoulder length hair SHORT. And now she's getting lectured about her self-esteem?

 

[aloof one]

I don't think she is being defensive...and if she is...it's not like she doesn't almost have reason. I mean, all the OP was express was shock that someone would consider her shoulder length hair SHORT. And now she's getting lectured about her self-esteem?

Yea... cause that is like fat people getting mad when someone calls them fat. Its just silly. Just because someone wants to believe that they are cute and healthy at 300 lbs doesn't mean everyone with sense they run into is going to tell them they are thin. So when someone does say, "Actually you do look pretty big" they get to be shocked?erplexed

Same with hair. You know you aren't repunzel so why are you letting the word "Short" hurt so much?

 

[cmw45]

By the way Im not trying to hurt feelings, I'm just being honest.

My hair is the same length as yours when its straightened out fully, maybe an inch or so longer but the point is I still just ay I'm SL.

I don't get offended when people say I have short hair. Most black people I meet say I have long/pretty hair and a lot of white people say the same thing. But for the most part, most non black people I meet don't go on about how they think my hair is long, they refer to it as short or medium length. I don't get offended because its hair.

Its not like they are insulting my character or personaliy or intelligence or something. They are making an observation. I am not one bit hurt or offended by it. From the title I was thinking I was going to see someone at BSL or WL or something, like I could understand if someone told you your hair would never grow or that you had a bad texture and you were offended by it, but this is just a fact. Its not like it can or should be taken as an insult...

Really? Then why is this statement necessary?

 

[aloof one]

Really? Then why is this statement necessary?

Because people like you are assuming I'm here to hurt feelings.

 

[sheba125]

I remember I asked the ladies here if I could claim shoulder length. I displayed a pic and thought for sure everyone would say yes...many did but there were a few that said "naw...not quite...I would say you are neck length." I actually appreciated it and when I REALLY looked at it...I still had about 1 inch or so to go before shoulder length...I just changed my goal and now I think I'm there!

I think that women with long hair can give us a realistic answer because they are really looking at length...not to say others aren't but I've had people with ear length hair tell me my hair is long where people with mid back hair refer to it as short...no love lost...it just tells me to keep doing what I'm doing and I'll get there eventually.

Your hair is healthy and growing and is very pretty IMO. Just keep your eyes on the prize girl...we'll get there!

ITA..........

 

[Prettyeyes]

I think most people consider shoulder length hair as toward the end of the short hair group. For example SHORT hair is anywhere from a twa to shoulder length. MEDIUM is past shoulder length to BSL. LONG is Past BSL and beyond. I think this is a pretty average opinion of most people so hey you are almost in the medium hair length group. IDK. I'm just trying to help!!!!

 

[cmw45]

Because people like you are assuming I'm here to hurt feelings.

Whoa...I know this mean Allandra is going to be through her with the clank clank which is unfortunate...

Ummm...yea, calling someone fat, even if they are would hurt their feelings. And it's not that silly. I don't think that someone who is big would act brand new if someone said they were big. But someone saying "Wow, you're fat, could be hurtful, even if it wasn't "meant" to be. I don't think the OP needs to get a self-esteem boost just cause she was surpirsed. It's not like she ran through her talking 'bout, "OMG all my hard work is for naught and I'll never have hair like this chick."

 

[deltagyrl]

I don't think she is being defensive...and if she is...it's not like she doesn't almost have reason. I mean, all the OP was express was shock that someone would consider her shoulder length hair SHORT. And now she's getting lectured about her self-esteem?

I think that most are shocked that she's shocked.

 

[dany06]

Dont worry about what she said and please dont let it get you down. Everybody has different perceptions of what is long, but I think she was trying to make herself feel good. I recently got a big chop and I came into the salon with most of it cut off. I had to cut it myself beforehand or I would never have gone through with it. Well the whole time the stylist kept making references to her own hair saying its so long I have to pin it up so it wont get in my way and some other things. This ladies hair is about and inch from shoulder length but I guess I made her feel good cuz I had none. She went on and on about how long her hair was and all I should think about was about 8 hours ago my hair was longer than hers. So maybe that asian lady had a bad hair cut once and now despises short hair; however that doesnt give her a right to talk bad about your growing hair because it doesnt meet her standards.

 

[InnerSoul]

Bottom line... everyone's perspective and viewpoints is going to be different!!

with that said: When I cut my hair (bigchopped) Ihad wondered if my afro was cut too short(I didn't go to a stylist) and one of my classmates who is white said that it wasn't short (maybe she was thinking that it wasn't that short) who knows. My hair is almost 3 inches long.

But when I see some pics of ladies on here that do bigchops, their cuts are like an inch long. Which makes me wonder if I should have gone even shorter.

When its all said and done... it's all hair. It will grow, it will be cut and it will grow again.

 

[klb120475]

Bottom line... everyone's perspective and viewpoints is going to be different!!

with that said: When I cut my hair (bigchopped) Ihad wondered if my afro was cut too short(I didn't go to a stylist) and one of my classmates who is white said that it wasn't short (maybe she was thinking that it wasn't that short) who knows. My hair is almost 3 inches long.

But when I see some pics of ladies on here that do bigchops, their cuts are like an inch long. Which makes me wonder if I should have gone even shorter.

When its all said and done... it's all hair. It will grow, it will be cut and it will grow again.

 

[♦K.O♦]

If I were describing you to someone, I would say you have short hair. Sorry. It's not meant as an insult at all. I happen to think your hair looks nice. But it isn't long...to me. I don't consider shoulder length hair long. It's all relative, I guess.

Ditto. I dont think that your coworker was being malicious.

 

[Queen V]

As several earlier posters have stated, definitions of long and short hair often vary by background and experience; thus, many non-blacks tend to define short as being longer than what we do.

I wouldn't worry about it. You know your hair is progressing, and becoming healthier by the day. Keep up the good work!

 

[aloof one]

Whoa...I know this mean Allandra is going to be through her with the clank clank which is unfortunate...

Ummm...yea, calling someone fat, even if they are would hurt their feelings. And it's not that silly. I don't think that someone who is big would act brand new if someone said they were big. But someone saying "Wow, you're fat, could be hurtful, even if it wasn't "meant" to be. I don't think the OP needs to get a self-esteem boost just cause she was surpirsed. It's not like she ran through her talking 'bout, "OMG all my hard work is for naught and I'll never have hair like this chick."

Why would Allandra lock the thread? Are you reporting posts where people are being honest? You are just as defensive as the OP. It is silly. If I tell a fat person she is "big" while we're talking abou weight or something, then that is what it is. I'm not going to lie to people to boost their self esteem. I don't expect others to do it to me. The other day in an anthropology lab someone told me I had a wide nose. Some black people are up in arms with that comment because they think its an insult, and I used to be that way because I thought it was one. But now I just laughed and was like, "Yea, don't I?" and we moved on. The person wasn't being cruel, they were just stating a fact. How am I going to be mad at somebody for telling me the truth? Had I taken offense and come home and told somebody how upset I was I would have looked like a fool.

The title of the thread may as well have been, "She stated the obvious!"

Why does the truth hurt so much, especially when it is nothing negative?

 

[zora]

It seems like I'm jumping on you because you're defensive about your hair.

You need to boost your self esteem or something, clearly the least offensive things about your hair is offending you for you to depend on other peoples opnions to determine how you feel about your hair/self.

Its just hair. Its not likke you have WL or something. Yes, its longer than it was and its growing, but that doesn't mean people are going to be crashing their cars to get a good look because of its length. Just calm down and realize the girl wasn't trying to hurt you. Obviously her normal length hair is what she considers long or medium or whatever, and the fact that you consider her har "normal" shows that you must think of your hair as short too. I don't get why you're so hurt by what she said...erplexed

Ok, now it's your turn to calm down. The OP didn't say she had to take anti-depressants or anything. It just struck a nerve for her; that's all.

Personally, I think the OP's hair is not short, which just goes to prove that we all have different standards of what we call short, medium, long.

 

[aloof one]

Ok, now it's your turn to calm down. The OP didn't say she had to take anti-depressants or anything. It just struck a nerve for her; that's all.

Personally, I think the OP's hair is not short, which just goes to prove that we all have different standards of what we call short, medium, long.

Excuse me...

Where did I mention anti-depressants? Are people having reading troubles today? I'm not the only one who mentioned self esteem if you are referring to that. And I would never suggest anti depressants for a hair issue. I'm not even a doctor

If you think its long then thats just you man... I'm just telling it like it is. most people see her hair as short. If they didn't, especially on LHCF, Then more people would be celebrating SL than APL and more people would have answered SL as long on the poll than they did every other length. I mean... what is so horrible about short hair???

 

[firecracker]

OT:
Hi Fire,
I was wondering about you and was going to ask about you in the " member update" thread. You always crack me up with you posts and I was wondering where you were at.

Hey chica. I'm doing fine. My Dad died and I was kinda pucked up in the head. (well kinda more pucked up in the head than usual) I missed ya'll but I've being catching up on all the shenigans from way back threads.

 

[Traycee]

Everyone has a different definition of short, long ...Skinny and Fat......

In her mind your hair is short.......So What ?????

 

[cmw45]

Hey chica. I'm doing fine. My Dad died and I was kinda pucked up in the head. (well kinda more pucked up in the head than usual) I missed ya'll but I've being catching up on all the shenigans from way back threads.

OT: I am truly sorry for your loss.

Glad you are back, your hair is gorgeous...when are you going to update your album? *HINT* *HINT* *HINT*

 

[healthynhappy]

My co worker and I are cool. We take breaks together and talk and what not. Anyhow, we took a break yesterday to get some coffee and the subject of hair was brought up by her. Her questions to me were, "Are you going to grow your hair out longer?" Like it's so fawking easy. "Do you like having it short?" The way she was talking in my opinion, made it seem like I have no hair at all. She is Asian and has normal length hair. I know my hair is short in comparison to hers, but I consider my hair to be a decent length. I would like it to be a little longer though. She asked me if my hair was ever longer, I told her maybe a little bit longer back in the day.

A few months back when I got my hair done, I told her that my hair stylist said that my hair grew. My co worker thought that it looked shorter. If she thinks it's short now, imagine if I ever get a Halle Berry or Malinda Williams type short cut. erplexed

Here is a snap shot of what my hair looks like now:

I think girlfriend was trying to play you. It was her attempt to keep you in your place. Your hair is not short in the least. It is a nice length, and I'm sure - still growing. Do you threaten her?

I just started working with an Asian girl for the first time ever, and I am beginning to see some kind competitive comments, looks, and actions from her. I've heard some women here on the board speak of this before, but I've never encountered it until now. And the one thing I catch her doing all the time is glancing at my hair.

Why some here had to take the negative stance and tell you your hair is not long is typical LHCF drama seeking BS. It could have just as well had been stated, your hair is medium length.

 

[Morenita]

Dang, and just when I was praising everyone for being so encouraging and uplifting! The claws are out I see!

 

[Xavier]

Hey chica. I'm doing fine. My Dad died and I was kinda pucked up in the head. (well kinda more pucked up in the head than usual) I missed ya'll but I've being catching up on all the shenigans from way back threads.

I am so sorry to hear that. (((HUGS))):Rose: