VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay....

[2inspireU]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

Well, this was one of the main reasons I went back to relaxers. I caved under the pressure from other people's reaction to my hair. I am now transitioning back, but also taking the time to mentally transition. It really is the most courageous thing to do, that is go against group think.

I've learned that a lot depends on how we respond to the situation. I had a guy one time say, "What's up nappy head?" He was laughing and said it to be offensive. I smiled and replied, "Nothing much." He didn't say anything else after that. Had I got upset, he probably would have said things about my hair to upset me every time he saw me.

 

[skegeesmb]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

Well, this was one of the main reasons I went back to relaxers. I caved under the pressure from other people's reaction to my hair. I am now transitioning back, but also taking the time to mentally transition. It really is the most courageous thing to do, that is go against group think.

I've learned that a lot depends on how we respond to the situation. I had a guy one time say, "What's up nappy head?" He was laughing and said it to be offensive. I smiled and replied, "Nothing much." He didn't say anything else after that. Had I got upset, he probably would have said things about my hair to upset me every time he saw me.

That's what you have to do. I was lucky to not get flak being natural. The one time I did was years ago in Alabama. I went to get my hair done and this guy was laughing at me saying dayum about my head. I said to him what's so funny about my hair. He looked at me and really couldn't say anything. I told him my hair is in good condition and that it looks good curled or natural.

I don't have time to hear people trying to diss what's not even on their head. They need to worry about themselves.

 

[jupitermoon]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

Some of the experiences that some of you in this thread had to go through are just sad. Society is strange. You are told to be yourself and to "do you'; yet, you are ridiculed when you decide to be your natural self and don't fit these darned beauty standards.

People get on my nerves being so nosey and overly concerned with how others choose to wear their hair especially when it naturally grows that way. I've had people tell me that I need to cut my hair, dye it, get layers, straighten it.... I've been told that I need to shave this, tweeze that, wax this... Le sigh! Why can't I just be myself and not some fake video glamour girl? That's just not who I am.

It does take a bit of strength to be your natural self in this society. This is the price we must pay.

 

[skegeesmb]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

Some of the experiences that some of you in this thread had to go through are just sad. Society is strange. You are told to be yourself and to "do you'; yet, you are ridiculed when you decide to be your natural self and don't fit these darned beauty standards.

People get on my nerves being so nosey and overly concerned with how others choose to wear their hair especially when it naturally grows that way. I've had people tell me that I need to cut my hair, dye it, get layers, straighten it.... I've been told that I need to shave this, tweeze that, wax this... Le sigh! Why can't I just be myself and not some fake video glamour girl? That's just not who I am.

It does take a bit of strength to be your natural self in this society. This is the price we must pay.

This is so true. I will tell you this if not being relaxed will net you the longest or the most healthiest hair who cares what other people say. I guess because I'm moving towards the 40's, I'm not caring much if people are uncomfortable with my hair.

Just today I asked a co-worker what she thought about my non straightened hair (she was white). She said it was tight, but since I'm cute I can get away with it, and when it got longer it would stretch out my tight curls. She also liked my straightened hair better.

I told her even though she may not be as comfortable or like my "tight curled" as much as it straightened, I want to grow my hair and that I liked my curls and I don't want to suffer from heat damage, she agreed.

Right now I don't even care. I've gone out with my little mullet everywhere and I haven't had a problem.

I think that we as black women have to be confident in our hair. I think if we portray that we'll be better off.

 

[FlowerHair]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

It's ignorance.

Live your truth and leave others to their existence.

Thank you. I agree with that.

It's ignorance in it's purest form. Even some of us don't really know what their real hair looks like because it's been permed so many years.

I'll never forget a time when I was at a (white) hair dresser here in Stockholm and she told me that my type of hair needs a really, really strong relaxer.

In her defence, she didn't know diddly squat about black hair and my hair was the thickest, curliest, nappiest hair she'd ever laid her eyes on. Why? Because most women with 4a-b hair wear their hair straight. Of course she never saw any hair curlier or kinkier than mine.

I didn't even say anything, I just smiled and let her continue with whatever she was doing.

Another stylist said that hair like mine can only be cut really short or worn in braids. Helllooooo!!!!

Ignorance.

That's when I decided to prove them all wrong. Revenge is mine.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

What's most sad to me is that they've been able to come up with this pill but not a cure for cancer or AIDS. SMDH

I know...isn't that a shame?? I find that truly sad too.

Another stylist said that hair like mine can only be cut really short or worn in braids. Helllooooo!!!!

Ignorance.

That's when I decided to prove them all wrong. Revenge is mine.

Hahaha...I like that.

You know a lot of times I've found that sometimes it's better to just let your hair progress speak for itself! Some people are just going to be naysayers and speak all kinds of negative rubbish no matter what you do. Instead of getting all offended or getting into heated debates/arguments about natural hair with narrow-minded/ignorant people, just continue to do you and let your increasingly thicker, longer, and healthier natural hair speak for itself!

That's what I'm hoping to be able to do!

 

[Lucie]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

I know how you feel. I had so many people telling me how "pretty" hair (it wasn't pretty to them any more I guess) was and how some women never have a fraction of my hair. When I BCed back in February ALL of the stink looks came from black men and women. The only compliments I received were from my DH and other natural women. People acted like I cut my tongue out of my mouth and would tell me they WOULD NEVER EVER do SOMETHING like that! Black men trying to get with me went from a lot to none. And for a while I felt the need to tell people that I had long hair the first few weeks, but caught myself. Why am I explaining myself to anyone.

My SIL did a BC as well (not as short as mine) and she had the same exasperating comments. OP, I really feel you.

 

[fivetimestwo]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

I can identify with what the OP is saying. I was natural for 4 years before texlaxing (now I'm transitioning back to natural) and I got a lot of negative comments from co-workers when I did the BC and had about 2 inches of natural hair. As time went on the comments shifted and began to sound like "oh people like you can go natural because you have that "good hair" I have always hated that statement and I felt like everyone's hair that's healthy and well maintained is "good hair" regardless of the texture. It's just frustrating that people feel like you owe them an explanation about what you choose to do with YOUR hair.

 

[MRJ1972]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

I was "confronted" by friends on Saturday night about WHY I dont have a relaxer...I told them because I DONT WANT ONE!!!!!

Why do I have to give an explanation???? UGH!!!!

 

[My Friend]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

I hope in time views will change

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

I was "confronted" by friends on Saturday night about WHY I dont have a relaxer...I told them because I DONT WANT ONE!!!!!

Why do I have to give an explanation???? UGH!!!!

OMG they gave you an intervention LOL that is so sad and so funny which makes it even sadder

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Re: VENT: Why is it that every OTHER woman can wear her "natural" hair and it's okay.

What's most sad to me is that they've been able to come up with this pill but not a cure for cancer or AIDS. SMDH

Doctors make money off the sick, but I heard they have cures but then the doctors won't make any money if everyone was cured. I heard this in school from my instructor for Billing & Coding, Don't know how true it is though.