^^^I really like this... I was trying to work with the husband til the baby got there, but your cut-throat advice is much more appealing! I totally freakin agree!However as part of the older crowd my advice is different - she is 40 and doesn't have time or many eggs to start all over again. If it was me I'd get that sperm and then bounce. She can look for new job back home with her family and support as a single woman. Time is not on her side. 10 years younger my advice would be different a lot different.
firecracker said:If he promised her they would start working on a family if she relocated then he does owe her some super sperm so she can get impregnated. If he didn't have conditions and requirements about a job when he made that promise he is dead wrong.
Did she say if they ever discussed her being a sahm or a working mom?
Bingo. He's wrong for having an attitude and she's wrong for being optimistic when she should have been realistic.This is why you don't go back to an ex.
My views are always on the pragmatic. In this situation (being almost 40 myself) I can understand how she wants a child NOW--her time is really up. I also understand how her med issues force that to even more urgency.
If I were her, just being practical, I'd take any old job for the insurance and FMLA for the labor and delivery. Have the kid and find a new job after the FMLA is up. That could be, what? 2 years? It's not a long time, really, especially for the joys of a child.
And hell, perhaps divorce that man after all that. Doesn't sound like he really cares or is putting in his all. She was being silly for uprooting her whole life for an ex...
Yup.This whole thing sounds like a TOTAL lack of communication and unmet/unverbalized expectations. IF he was so sure that she'd find a good job where he was, then something should have been discussed about the alternative if she didn't (which she obviously didn't). There should have been no assumptions at all on either side. She should've made sure that them having a baby wasn't contingent upon her working first....