Kinkyhairlady
Well-Known Member
I’m curious on hearing what some of the thoughts are when you sacrifice a lot for a relationship do you feel that person owes you? Like there are things they will need to put up with because you did xyz for them back whenever?
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who is going through some marital issues. She was married for over 10 years and her DH left her for about 3 years but they reunited this past year. Now they are facing some issues because she relocated to be with him in another state and has not been able to find work for over a year. She wants a child but he is like I’ll give you a child when you get a job. So she was telling me this and I said yes it is true children are expensive and he may feel that it will be too much to care for you and the child. I’m no expert but that is what I think. Then she says no he owes me! I’m still like why, and she says he made me leave my job to move here so if it takes me 10 years to find a job oh well!
She refuses to do any kind of job just to bring in cash into the house so she will just wait until the right job comes along (I don't blame her on that). Now again I’m no relationship expert but I feel like even if I do something for anyone I do it cause I want to and you do not owe me a darn thing. I personally feel she should of looked for a job before relocating but at the same time I see her point, that is her husband and he should be providing but now he is acting like he needs her to start pulling her weight. I have to admit I used to think that my ex’s owed me cause I did this and that for them but I quickly learned some people are selfish and men in particular don’t care what you did or how much you suffered for them when certain challenges come into their lives. We tend to ponder on the past why they are living in the present and whatever you did back then does not really count. Just my opinion from my experiences.
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who is going through some marital issues. She was married for over 10 years and her DH left her for about 3 years but they reunited this past year. Now they are facing some issues because she relocated to be with him in another state and has not been able to find work for over a year. She wants a child but he is like I’ll give you a child when you get a job. So she was telling me this and I said yes it is true children are expensive and he may feel that it will be too much to care for you and the child. I’m no expert but that is what I think. Then she says no he owes me! I’m still like why, and she says he made me leave my job to move here so if it takes me 10 years to find a job oh well!
She refuses to do any kind of job just to bring in cash into the house so she will just wait until the right job comes along (I don't blame her on that). Now again I’m no relationship expert but I feel like even if I do something for anyone I do it cause I want to and you do not owe me a darn thing. I personally feel she should of looked for a job before relocating but at the same time I see her point, that is her husband and he should be providing but now he is acting like he needs her to start pulling her weight. I have to admit I used to think that my ex’s owed me cause I did this and that for them but I quickly learned some people are selfish and men in particular don’t care what you did or how much you suffered for them when certain challenges come into their lives. We tend to ponder on the past why they are living in the present and whatever you did back then does not really count. Just my opinion from my experiences.