Your Man Wins 250k And Gives The Mother Of His Child 20k...

[ms-gg]

Is this a problem or naw, it's ok with you?

 

[JFemme]

Yes.....no issue for me....

 

[fula97]

Whats the issue. She is caring for his kid. It's not half.

 

[Theresamonet]

Depending on the circumstances, It could be a problem for me... And that's why I don't date men with kids.

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

i think that i wouldnt have a problem with it....but Im assuming that the man is my dh and I'm getting at least half

 

[BrownSkin2]

It wouldn't be an issue with me. She does have his child. I'd spend some, save some, and give a little away. Respect money, but don't worship it. It is fleeting.

 

[kupenda]

Not a problem. But dont give it all willy nilly. There needs to be an understanding, and she needs to respect your decision. She shouldn't dare part her lips to complain about how much she is getting, or how its not enough etc.

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

It's free found money why not spread it around.

 

[CaraWalker]

a. I dont care b. never dating a man with kids

 

[FlowerHair]

I wouldn't have a problem with it, even though I would never be in this situation.

What I want to know is, what if he has 2-3 kids from before as some do...with 2-3 separate mothers? Then we're up to 60K.

 

[Topsido]

I'll wait to see how much he gives me before I nay or yeh.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

gross - not a problem.

net- we gotta have a talk

 

[Black Ambrosia]

These responses are great but IRL him giving $20k to anyone besides his momma or his sister means they're still ****** and I'd definitely have a problem with that.

If he's really trying to provide for his kid, I'd expect him to either pay for the kid to be in a private school or set that aside for the kid's college fund. To be clear, I wouldn't expect the other parent to hold that money. There'd be no reason or justification for that.

I don't have a problem with him doing something that might lighten her load but $20k is extra.

 

[ladysaraii]

I'd expect him to do something for his child to benefit. I don't know that I'd be cool with it going directly into her hands.

I'd hav to think on this.

 

[Dellas]

Pretax 250k becomes 150k. I think your child deserve at least 10%, so at l5k assuming you are all paid up on child support.

 

[LiftedUp]

This is the #3689 reason why I don't date men with children. He should give his child part of his winnings ,however, I don't want any money going out of our household , especially to another woman, especially if we're married.

 

[MizAvalon]

I don't think I would be cool with him giving it directly to her. I'd be ok with him setting up something for his child though.

 

[TayMac]

Is it just a gift or an advance on child support?

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Am I getting my cut? That really determines how I will be acting. But at first glance, I don't have an issue with it.

 

[Miss617]

I don't think I would be cool with him giving it directly to her. I'd be ok with him setting up something for his child though.

This. I'd rather it go into a trust or college fund for the child.

 

[DarkAngell]

E

This. I'd rather it go into a trust or college fund for the child.

Exactly what I came in here to say.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Hmm. I haven't dated men with kids, but I would need more info.

First of all if there was some weird vibe, or inappropriate contact between them I wouldn't be with him anyway. For people in those types of relationships I believe this could be a red flag when added to other signs.

Secondly I prefer functional presents. Like when Will Smith/Jada bought his ex a house, or Kevin Hart getting his ex wife a car. Something that both the parent and child will benefit from. If the ex got a lump sum and was buying a bunch of shoes and fake boobs I'd be annoyed lol.

 

[irsgirl]

I don't think I would be cool with him giving it directly to her. I'd be ok with him setting up something for his child though.

My thoughts exactly! I would more comfortable with him setting a fund that the child can use for college or after the child support stops at 21,but not for the mother to do what she pleases with funds and then later ask him for money for college or a car!

 

[CaraWalker]

i just think if i willfully choose to be with a man with a child despite the millions of available men without one, i have waived my right to be a petty ***** regarding said child and have instead acknowledged that i would become everything about women that i hate if i were to ever begrudge any action he took in the best interests of said child. therefore my hands would be tied at every act of parenting he completed that while benefiting the child came at the expense of his household with me. and im not willing to make that concession. i know im not big enough to not begrudge a man putting his child above me, so i am not going to put myself in that position because its ****ing WRONG for a woman to believe she should be a higher priority than a man's child. i'm a grown woman, i don't need him, but his child DOES. if you can't handle it your petty, childish ass doesnt need to date a man with kids.

 

[InsertCleverNameHere]

I sort of operate on "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine" basis so it doesn't really matter since I'll be spending the other 230k (or whatever after taxes) anyway.

 

[Anaisin]

She has his child more than likely on a day to day basis while he has the child every 2 weeks or even less often. I don't see the issue, kids aren't cheap and that other 230k is mine anyway. There is no splitting between husband & wife imo.

If the mother would spend it recklessly, the child needs to be in his custody full time if she's unfit.

If this is just boyfriend girlfriend scenario then 9 times out of 10 they're still "together" on the low and it would be my time to exit stage left but not before I could see if I could get some $ out of him....

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I need more information. So everyone is presuming an infant, toddler or child under 18?
What if the child is grown and living their own life not in the mom's home and he gives the ex $20K?

 

[Fine 4s]

I love these hypotheticals lol

In summary, the add-ons and variable that people have thrown in are:

Gross vs. net?
How many kids?
How old is the child/children?
Is the child biologically his?
Does he think YOU are entitled to HIS winnings if you are just bf/gf?
Like @CaraWalker said, she's grown and don't NEED a man, is this child grown and doesn't need mommy or daddy?
How many BMs?
Are we married?
Is the mother fit or unfit?
Is this money an advanced towards child support or in addition to?
Can a judge determine the amount just as they determined child support?
Is he paying child support, is he current?

LOL

Too much thinking! Just don't tell her nuffin and save for the child on the low.....

 

[curlicarib]

Assuming it's $250K post tax, I would insist that he put $50k in a trust fund for his child. No cash payouts to the baby mama.

 

[okange76]

The child came before you did so suck it up or don't marry a man with a kid whether the kid is grown or not. If the tables were turned and you were the one with the kid, I am pretty sure y'all would look at the man crazy if he didn't want you giving money to your grown child or putting money aside for your minor child since he is your husband. Out of $250 K, 20K is a drop in the bucket. You have $230 K to work with and you are still complaining? Even after taxes assuming you are left with $175 k and he gives $20K. You still have $155K to work with and you still want to complain about him taking care of his child and the mother? Just marry men without children and save yourself the headache.