"Your husband should love u more than you love him"
- Thread starter Crysdon
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EbonyHairedPrincess
New Member
Absolutely. The only clause is he should love God more than you. I married by this rule and reinforce in my daughter life.
To some extent yes I agree. I am struggling with this in a relationship now. I need to find someone that will love me more than I love them. In my experience when the man cared/for loved me more than I cared for/loved him, I was treated much better and not taken for granted, he would do just about anything for me. I know it may sound bad, but I do believe this is true in some cases.
sunnydaze
Well-Known Member
kia said:Yeah, but how can you marry someone that you dont' love w/ all your heart????
I mean I want the man I marry to love me JUST AS MUCH as I love him. If I dont' love him as much as he loves me, that tells me that he may not be the one for me.
No, you could love his dirty drawls, but he needs to love yours more.
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
I can't find the thread, but I'm certain we talked about this before. In any case, I was against this idea at first, but the more I think about it, the more that's the way I think it should be . . . seeing how trifling men can be, you really want someone who loves you more than anything (except God!) . . .
I agree as well. The problem is accepting that guy. 
My friends and sometimes even myself will get side tracked with fools that we love but could care less about us. (maybe not care less... but you know what I mean) I like being with men that like me a little bit more than I like them.
I personnally think it is rare to find that perfect balance of both people loving each other at the same level. And even if it is possible it ebbs and flows so it are never really perfectly aligned.
so it does go back and forth occassionally. but I like the 70/30 ratio.
My friends and sometimes even myself will get side tracked with fools that we love but could care less about us. (maybe not care less... but you know what I mean) I like being with men that like me a little bit more than I like them. I personnally think it is rare to find that perfect balance of both people loving each other at the same level. And even if it is possible it ebbs and flows so it are never really perfectly aligned.
so it does go back and forth occassionally. but I like the 70/30 ratio.
EbonyHairedPrincess
New Member
kia said:Yeah, but how can you marry someone that you dont' love w/ all your heart????
I mean I want the man I marry to love me JUST AS MUCH as I love him. If I dont' love him as much as he loves me, that tells me that he may not be the one for me.
IMO there is no "one" for you. There are millions of people on this earth, you choose one and then call him the "one". The love you with all my heart is not something we should seek out it's actually a trap set by mother nature that fades after a while. The sole purpose of that feeling is to cause us to get sexually aroused and pregnant. True love is willing to sacrifice for the benefit of another. When it comes to men use the head not the heart. Men expect women to act a certain way with them and when we don't follow the "rules" they don't respect us. Hence, man problems.
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PinkSkates
New Member
My grandmother raised me and my sisters with this belief; and I know from personal experience, it is true. There is nothing a man won't do for you, when he has placed you on a pedestal; And I much rather be placed on a pedestal than be placed as a doormat. The view is so much nicer up high.
Kimberly
New Member
I can agree with this. The first Mr. Kimberly did not and that's why he is the "ex", I suppose. I think when they love you more they do those extra things for you and to please you. But when they know you love them more, they can take it for granted and run over you.
BUT, in my personal experience, marriage does not necessarily work this way. There were times when he did love me more than I loved him, as well. There really needs to be a balance but it was more like a seesaw. Unfortunately for us, the imbalance ended up being too great for me to continue living with him, feeling taken advantage of.
Before we got married, I had met this old couple that had been married for 60 years and seemed to still be going strong. I asked them what their secret was. The wife told me, "when I did something he didn't like, he'd tell me and I'd try not to do it again" and the husband said "and I would do the same thing". My ex, I guess, did not love me enough to not do those things that bothered me...the next one will.
BUT, in my personal experience, marriage does not necessarily work this way. There were times when he did love me more than I loved him, as well. There really needs to be a balance but it was more like a seesaw. Unfortunately for us, the imbalance ended up being too great for me to continue living with him, feeling taken advantage of.
Before we got married, I had met this old couple that had been married for 60 years and seemed to still be going strong. I asked them what their secret was. The wife told me, "when I did something he didn't like, he'd tell me and I'd try not to do it again" and the husband said "and I would do the same thing". My ex, I guess, did not love me enough to not do those things that bothered me...the next one will.
Sorry but I guess I"m the only one that disagrees...well, I dont' totally disagree, I just don't get it .
My cousin goes by this and has NEVER been in love. SHe like guys that are totally head over heels for her but she just doesn't love them in return .
I don't 'want that for myself. I want to love and be in love w/ someone. If he loves me a little more, that's great. Of course I want it as balanced as possible, BUT I know that's nearly impossible. Yet, I just can't see myself being w/ someone that I love a lot less. I just don't see it
erplexed
.My cousin goes by this and has NEVER been in love. SHe like guys that are totally head over heels for her but she just doesn't love them in return
.I don't 'want that for myself. I want to love and be in love w/ someone. If he loves me a little more, that's great. Of course I want it as balanced as possible, BUT I know that's nearly impossible. Yet, I just can't see myself being w/ someone that I love a lot less. I just don't see it
erplexed
sunnydaze
Well-Known Member
kia said:Sorry but I guess I"m the only one that disagrees...well, I dont' totally disagree, I just don't get it
My cousin goes by this and has NEVER been in love. SHe like guys that are totally head over heels for her but she just doesn't love them in return
I don't 'want that for myself. I want to love and be in love w/ someone. If he loves me a little more, that's great. Of course I want it as balanced as possible, BUT I know that's nearly impossible. Yet, I just can't see myself being w/ someone that I love a lot less. I just don't see it
She doesn't love them. That's not the same thing as loving him, but him loving you more.
Glib Gurl said:
I just can't marry someone and be w/ them for the rest of my life and love them just a little. My heart has to be in it. IF he loves me more, than that's great but bottom line, I have to have love for him.
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
Zeal said:I was told this by a man. Who I jsut liked as a friendHe wanted marriage. I could not do it. I did not love him even a little bit.
Well, then you made the right decision. I definitely think that love has to exist on both sides. But so often we have women risking everything (including their babies' safety!) just to keep some man around.
I gues what the point is is that he should love you as much or more than he loves himself . . . and that you should feel the same way. Does that sound more like what people are getting at?
Radianthealth
Well-Known Member
I agree as well, I know my husband loves me more. The gap is extremely small.
It sounds cruel but it works
ETA: I do love my husband very much, I think the difference is that he would probably die for me and I am not sure if I would do the same for him
It sounds cruel but it works
ETA: I do love my husband very much, I think the difference is that he would probably die for me and I am not sure if I would do the same for him
shynessqueen
New Member
EbonyHairedPrincess said:
I respect your view but I have to disagree. I have been with my SO for 12 years and to this day I know he is the ONE for me that felling has never fade even when I was not in love with him at one time. I'm not sure how much I can add to this topic but I can say that I love and respect my SO as much as he loves and respects me. I know when he needs me and he knows when I need him.
Maa Maa omo mti
New Member
Glib Gurl said:
yeah it has, I believe it was one of Dlewis' thread. I agree that a man should love you more than you love him. Somehow he brings the best out of you when he showers you with love not necessary material.
Puddles
On Cloud 9
EbonyHairedPrincess said:
Wow!
You really believe that?
Well we all believe what we want. I don't believe in mother nature.
I know there is that one person for you. God made my dh just for me. And I thank God for him daily. I never thought that love could feel sooooo good.
And no.....I "don't" have man problems. Not all women have man problems and not all men act the way you stated.
OK.....I'm out!
shynessqueen
New Member
abenyo said:
I guess My SO and I are aliens from another planet. I guess I will see in another 12 years
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CandiceC
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trimbride said:I agree as well, I know my husband loves me more. The gap is extremely small.
It sounds cruel but it works
ETA: I do love my husband very much, I think the difference is that he would probably die for me and I am not sure if I would do the same for him
I agree.
When I started acting a tad bit indifferent about our relationship that's my DH started putting in even more effort.
The other day he said "I want to be married forever!" I said something similar to "Ok. We'll see." Similar threads
