Would you check your man's phone or email?

J

jada1111

New Member
If so, WHY?

I mean if you feel that he's cheating, then you're probably right. Go with your instincts.

Checking his phone or emails IMO is simply a waste of time and energy. Even if you do find "proof", so what? He'll either deny it or come clean, but if you have to spend your relationship life "snooping" on your SO, then WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM?

I was talking to someone who does this and I asked her why. I mean, I have never done this nor do I plan to, because I wouldn't want anybody doing this to me. Invasion of privacy and trust in a relationship is very important to me.

If I was to walk in and see my SO reading my text messages or emails, then we would have a SERIOUS problem.

If you are doing this, then what are your reasons? Cheating, insecurity, etc.
 
I would only do this if I had reason to believe that my husband was committing Adultery against me or was doing things to lead up to committing Adultery against me. But I wouldn't do it for any other reasons than that.

Now I know a girl who put a recording device in her baby father's car to "catch" him. She already had lots of proof that he was up to no good anyway. I wouldn't go as far as a recording device. By then you already KNOW. I'd just meet my husband in court - no questions asked.
 
If I suspect cheating, yes, I'm going to check to put my suspicions to rest.

Personally, I don't go around checking my DH's cell phone, I have no reason to, I don't feel the need to.

When it gets where I have to check everything he's doing, then there is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
 
No. I wouldn't.

If he is cheating, it will come out eventually without my looking for it. Aint no man that good at hiding another woman.
 
Another thing is that my DH and I always have our cell phones laying around the house and if we wanted to we could look and see who we were communicating with.

I believe if my DH tried to keep his cell phone out of my sight or was acting all suspicious about it, I'd wonder what's going on.
 
if i thought he was cheating yea. im not gonna wait around til it comes out on it's own. i think most women know its going on if it is and they just want the evidence there so when they do leave they are not killing themselves with the whole 'well what if he really wasn't doing anything and i broke up with him for nothing' nonsense
 
I do not believe in checking emails and phones unless you are ready to leave. I personally have never done it and have no interest to. But my BFF does it ALL THE TIME. And what does it lead to? A week long smack down that ends up in HER STILL BEING WITH HIM! What the freak is the point? I feel that if things are so bad that you have to check up after him, you already have a problem and there is no reason in finding justification of that problem in an email or text from another woman.
 
OMG, this thread reminds me of something hilarious that happened to me.
I am not in the habit of checking up on my DH, besides he's always where he said he would be when he said he would be there. He's never given me a reason to check up on him.

Well, one time he forgot to take his work cell phone (company issued) with him one day. It rang, and I thought it might have been an important call. Unfortunately I didn't get to it fast enough, and the call was missed. Because I am not tech savvy :spinning: and I didn't really know how to check the voicemail, I ended up looking at the text message part.

Written there was a message that said "You are nothing but a liar and you're gonna get it" or something to that effect. Well, I immediately called that woman who had left the text. I told her I'd found this on DH's phone, and I was wondering what it was about. No cussing, no yelling, just calm quiet speech. She denied any knowledge.

I told DH about this when he came home. Well, he had told me before but I had forgotten that his old work phone had gotten broken and he was issued a new one that used to belong to a different employee. The text message was from a lesbian lover of the lady in the CAD department! :blush: no wonder she was so insistent she didn't know nothing 'bout my husband! :lachen::lachen::lachen:She didn't even roll like that! He showed me the date on the message was from like 10 months ago, when he didn't even have that phone.

I've never checked his phone again, and don't plan on it. (unless he gives me a reason to... :sekret:)
 
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BFF does it and she alleges she has so much on him. What is she doing with said info? Nothing because she is waiting for him to confess. LOL, yeah right. She has text's, photo's vm messages, emails, you name it she has it. She said she always buys him the same phone she has so she can check up on him. I told her to give it a break.
 
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FlawedBeauty said:
if i thought he was cheating yea. im not gonna wait around til it comes out on it's own. i think most women know its going on if it is and they just want the evidence there so when they do leave they are not killing themselves with the whole 'well what if he really wasn't doing anything and i broke up with him for nothing' nonsense
Click to expand...

I agree. I need my solid proof. Plus I wanna be on my P&Q's just end case Im out and about and some ***** looking at me all strange. Women fall for married guys all the time, and I dont put it past a desperate women like that to try to hurt me to get at him for whatever reason. Nine times outta ten she know about you, so the sooner you know about her the better.

Also, the sooner you know the sooner the problem can be addressed (either work it out or serving walking papers) either way the sooner you know the better, and if looking through his cell or email will lead to that than I will.

I dont consider anything I do in my house snooping. I will do it in his face. Snooping is being somewhere you dont belong, and I dont feel like there is any reason I dont belong in his cell or email. If he has that notion or vice versa there must be something to hide.

Just my 2cents:yep:
 
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i dont think i would check his phone or emails. I would hate to go off on my dude, because i misunderstood a text or email that i shouldnt have been looking at in the first place.

I am in a pretty open relationship if i ask about something he tells me and vice versa. our phones are always out in the open, we never hide them. Sometimes he even askes me to answer his phone for him. We know what the other is doing or where the other is at most of the time.

I trust my guy 100% if trust was ever an issue he would have to get out my house! I dont have time to play detective, i have a son to raise.

now when my son gets old enough to have a phone and/or email ill probably go thru his!
 
honeycomb719 said:
I agree. I need my solid proof. Plus I wanna be on my P&Q's just end case Im out and about and some ***** looking at me all strange. Women fall for married guys all the time, and I dont put it past a desperate women like that to try to hurt me to get at him for whatever reason. Nine times outta ten she know about you, so the sooner you know about her the better.

Also, the sooner you know the sooner the problem can be addressed (either work it out or serving walking papers) either way the sooner you know the better, and if looking through his cell or email will lead to that than I will.

I dont consider anything I do in my house snooping. I will do it in his face. Snooping is being somewhere you dont belong, and I dont feel like there is any reason I dont belong in his cell or email. If he has that notion or vice versa there must be something to hide.

Just my 2cents:yep:
Click to expand...

I know I agree 100% Them chicks always know it's the wives who never know and has to "find out"... I can't stand that ish - from the man or the woman who does it...
 
Im checking. SO or hubby I am checking. I have a right to know whats going on. Men will never ever tell you the truth.
 
i've done this in the past only because he was checking my phone first!!!! i thought it was weird so i went into his phone. i did find something that i didn't like, btw.

i would never invade someone's privacy otherwise because i am a generally trusting person. i don't want to drive myself crazy.

men who act suspicious of you ARE suspicious themselves!!!
 
my bf hates when i go through his phone. he thinks it is an invasion of privacy. im really just nosy....i don't check his texts/calls/anything. just play with it. he lets me because he has nothing to hide but let me know later that ish pisses him off so i dont do it anymore (not worth it since i'm not looking for anything, and i know i wont find anything)

he has a blackberry. thats the only reason why. plus i got into a really bad habit of checking my closest friend's texts so yeah. hm.
 
Heck yes. He's done stuff in the past that warrants it. But I also Have a habit of checking all the dudes i know text.
 
I check every once in a while.. as of Thursday- My 6 year relationship is OVER b/c I caught some bs on a text.
 
I have before, once while we were broken up and a few times while together. I uncovered some stuff I didn't know about him, but surprisingly nothing to make me think he was cheating. Now I don't do it because I don't care as much as I used to.
 
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