CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
how do i say it with love is my question or is this something i should just not even attempt on this particular forum
Will You Ever Give Up On Finding Love???
- Thread starter ZapMami
- Start date
hopeful
Well-Known Member
I don't think you can. Maybe pm? But shoot y'all be all kinds of straightforward and honest on here and sometimes there's learning for all and sometimes it becomes a big ol' e-fight so idk.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
No offense, but do you care to elaborate??
You can't just make a blanket statement like that without explaining yourself.
You don't know me.
Thank you!
I'm trying VERY hard NOT to be offended, but that comment was just odd.
Everyone here has a right to their own opinions @CaraWalker whether you agree with them or not. And just because you don't agree with someone doesn't mean you have to go and make snide remarks. Again, I'm just trying to understand your logic.... And maybe if you rephrase your comments better we can come to an understanding and I can see whatever it is you're trying to say. But these vague, cryptic posts are highly unnecessary. Just spit it out whatever it is you want to say so the discussion can flow.
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
No offense, but do you care to elaborate??
You can't just make a blanket statement like that without explaining yourself.
You don't know me.
Thank you!
I'm trying VERY hard NOT to be offended, but that comment was just odd.
Everyone here has a right to their own opinions @CaraWalker whether you agree with them or not. And just because you don't agree with someone doesn't mean you have to go and make snide remarks. Again, I'm just trying to understand your logic.... And maybe if you rephrase your comments better we can come to an understanding and I can see whatever it is you're trying to say. But these vague, cryptic posts are highly unnecessary. Just spit it out whatever it is you want to say so the discussion can flow.
i am not making a snide remark. and i dont know you in real life, so if you dont care about the opinions of someone who doesnt actually know you it doesnt make sense for me to elaborate? basically, you made a claim that being single doesnt necessarily result in (your words) "damaged goods"; my original argument was that it can result in stunted growth. and for me not knowing you in real life based on the things you post here you do come across as extremely immature, naive, and childlike. if i didnt have an idea of how old you are, i would guess 16. i think you are in your 30s though. the reason why that seems germane to the subject at hand is because those traits seem particularly evident when discussing men and relationships. so for the purposes of this discussion, IMO you are the wrong person to say that prolonged singlehood doesn't have any long term/emotional consequences.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
@CaraWalker
I'm going to attempt to say what I have to say in the most diplomatic way possible, because I don't like to make enemies, and I like to treat people the way that I personally would like to be treated. There have been many times when I have actually agreed with quite a few of your posts in the past, but I must say something about these statements below.....
I didn't say I didn't care about the opinions of people who don't know me. If I didn't want your opinion I wouldn't have asked for it. What I was saying was that you don't know me in real life, so whatever "persona" you think you see online cannot compare to actually meeting someone and knowing them in PERSON.
Serious Question: Would you want someone to judge you based SOLELY on what/who you portray to be online?
Re: the First bolded.... I don't know what your personal experiences are, but in my experiences, life observations and the like, being single does NOT result in someone being "damaged goods".
Unfortunately that is something that society has (sadly) fed people in general (women in particular), but that is simply NOT true. Having or not having a relationship does not put you in some type of "status" level. It's simply a state in life. Either you're single or you aren't. Being single does not mean someone is "damaged goods". But again, if you feel like it does, then I cannot change your mind, no matter how much I may say.
Re: the Bolded in Blue....
Again, that is YOUR personal experience or opinion. I don't know if that is what you personally have seen in your own life, or if you are describing yourself or what, but personally I don't subscribe to that belief. Romantic relationships are NOT the only types of relationships out here, and to insinuate that just because someone is single (or has even been single for a long time) is somehow "stunted emotionally" is a really sad and erroneous generalization on your part.
In addition, I've seen people who are actually IN relationships who have a LOT of growing up to do emotionally, mentally, etc.... Just because you're in a relationship (or have even been in one for a long time) does NOT mean you are somehow emotionally above anyone else. To me that is ridiculous. It has nothing to do with being in a romantic relationship or not.
Okay....
Again, that's YOUR opinion. Like you mentioned yourself, you don't know me in real life, so you're just making assumptions. I don't make assumptions about you or your personality traits (although I very well could) simply based on your posting style, and I also don't go around making back-handed remarks towards posters (this is not the first time you've done this towards me and others on this forum). So tell me, how is YOUR behavior "mature"??
Not that it matters, but most people IRL tell me that I'm VERY mature, astute, intelligent, etc. so what you think about me on an online message board (that is supposed to be fun and light-hearted mind you) doesn't mean much to me.
Another thing, you're equating my supposed "immaturity" or "naivety" based on my (according to you) "long-term singledom". Did it ever occur to you that perhaps it's not singledom that is a factor?
Correlation doesn't = Causation.
Lastly, I will say this. While I am certainly open to various differing opinions and even constructive criticism about my posts/opinions/or even the way I come across, what I will NOT tolerate is a spirit of negativity meant to put me (or others) down on a board that is meant to be for black women to uplift and encourage one another.
And finally, I say this in the nicest way possible... Just because your life experiences have caused you to become bitter, cynical, and negative, does NOT in any way shape or form mean that those who choose NOT to allow their life experiences to make them this way are somehow "emotionally stunted", "naive", "childlike" or "immature".
If anything the world would probably be a better place in a sense if more people were "childlike".
I'm going to attempt to say what I have to say in the most diplomatic way possible, because I don't like to make enemies, and I like to treat people the way that I personally would like to be treated. There have been many times when I have actually agreed with quite a few of your posts in the past
, but I must say something about these statements below..... I didn't say I didn't care about the opinions of people who don't know me. If I didn't want your opinion I wouldn't have asked for it. What I was saying was that you don't know me in real life, so whatever "persona" you think you see online cannot compare to actually meeting someone and knowing them in PERSON.
Serious Question: Would you want someone to judge you based SOLELY on what/who you portray to be online?
Re: the First bolded.... I don't know what your personal experiences are, but in my experiences, life observations and the like, being single does NOT result in someone being "damaged goods".
Unfortunately that is something that society has (sadly) fed people in general (women in particular), but that is simply NOT true. Having or not having a relationship does not put you in some type of "status" level. It's simply a state in life. Either you're single or you aren't. Being single does not mean someone is "damaged goods". But again, if you feel like it does, then I cannot change your mind, no matter how much I may say. Re: the Bolded in Blue....
Again, that is YOUR personal experience or opinion. I don't know if that is what you personally have seen in your own life, or if you are describing yourself or what, but personally I don't subscribe to that belief. Romantic relationships are NOT the only types of relationships out here, and to insinuate that just because someone is single (or has even been single for a long time) is somehow "stunted emotionally" is a really sad and erroneous generalization on your part.
In addition, I've seen people who are actually IN relationships who have a LOT of growing up to do emotionally, mentally, etc.... Just because you're in a relationship (or have even been in one for a long time) does NOT mean you are somehow emotionally above anyone else. To me that is ridiculous. It has nothing to do with being in a romantic relationship or not.
Okay....
Again, that's YOUR opinion. Like you mentioned yourself, you don't know me in real life, so you're just making assumptions. I don't make assumptions about you or your personality traits (although I very well could
) simply based on your posting style, and I also don't go around making back-handed remarks towards posters (this is not the first time you've done this towards me and others on this forum). So tell me, how is YOUR behavior "mature"?? Not that it matters, but most people IRL tell me that I'm VERY mature, astute, intelligent, etc. so what you think about me on an online message board (that is supposed to be fun and light-hearted mind you) doesn't mean much to me.
Who are you to determine who has a right to post about certain topics???
Another thing, you're equating my supposed "immaturity" or "naivety" based on my (according to you) "long-term singledom". Did it ever occur to you that perhaps it's not singledom that is a factor? Correlation doesn't = Causation.
Lastly, I will say this. While I am certainly open to various differing opinions and even constructive criticism about my posts/opinions/or even the way I come across, what I will NOT tolerate is a spirit of negativity meant to put me (or others) down on a board that is meant to be for black women to uplift and encourage one another.
And finally, I say this in the nicest way possible... Just because your life experiences have caused you to become bitter, cynical, and negative, does NOT in any way shape or form mean that those who choose NOT to allow their life experiences to make them this way are somehow "emotionally stunted", "naive", "childlike" or "immature".
If anything the world would probably be a better place in a sense if more people were "childlike".
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
I never said it wasnt my opinion so im not sure what else there is to say. you keep saying that and about me "not agreeing" with you when, like, agreeing about what? but ok.
sweetpea7
Well-Known Member
@CaraWalker I understand exactly what you mean. My mother has never been in a ltr and I feel like her life could have been more fulfilling. I see with family that she is somewhat emotionally immature. She doesn't know how to deal with her emotions sometimes and i feel like she's stuck in her singleness but talks about how God is gonna give her someone one day. She doesn't go out with friends often or even do things that she wants like concerts and reunions etc because she has no one to go with/she's an introvert. However, this makes me more determined to live my best life possible and meet my match because I can't live like her.
Someone posted above that children seeing their parents alone can be damaging and I agree. Its the pain in seeing someone you love never have someone to comfort, laugh, argue, be silly with. They only have to talk to, debate, discuss their day and it can get exhausting. Also, watching them go through this cruel world alone is hard.
Someone posted above that children seeing their parents alone can be damaging and I agree. Its the pain in seeing someone you love never have someone to comfort, laugh, argue, be silly with. They only have to talk to, debate, discuss their day and it can get exhausting. Also, watching them go through this cruel world alone is hard.
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. since my mom is grown i never really thought of her in terms of "emotionally immature" because i picture that as childish behavior, but youre right. she takes everything personally and has to be handled with kid gloves. she will blow up cause you said something to her and she jumps to this offended conclusion. i always just thought of it as some sort of maladapted self centeredness, but it would also fit as emotionally immature.
i recently moved and for some reason when i am alone in the bedroom of my new place it feels extremely isolating. im not sure why because i generally live alone and dont often feel like that, so why would i feel more isolated when i have roommates? but whatever the reason, ive been having this really pressing feeling lately that being alone in this room like this is how i people waste their lives. i feel this acute fear of mortality like this, where im desperately sure that this is what makes me scared to die, and being with someone, sharing my life with someone, is the feeling that would make this feeling of being trapped in this room go away. and thats sort of like what my moms entire life has been like
i dont think she consciously thinks of it, because how could she? she'd be utterly depressed to think of this as the reality of what life has been.
sweetpea7
Well-Known Member
@CaraWalker We are >here<. Sensitive and offended easily.
Yea. It's easier for them not to dwell on the fact their alone because they're aware of it and since she's not actively trying to change the situation, she consoles herself with the idea that she'd rather be alone than in a terrible relationship. Which is true but the flip side is being in a healthy, happy relationship.
Like you, I enjoy being alone as an only child but I am going to change that this year because it's too easy for me to blow guys off (who never had a chance) "act" like I love being single and in the blink of an eye wake up older, educated, gainfully employed and still living at home alone.
I don't want to get comfortable being alone just like you wouldn't get comfortable at your entry level job or with an associates degree if you want your masters. I hope that doesn't sound desperate.
Yea. It's easier for them not to dwell on the fact their alone because they're aware of it and since she's not actively trying to change the situation, she consoles herself with the idea that she'd rather be alone than in a terrible relationship. Which is true but the flip side is being in a healthy, happy relationship.
Like you, I enjoy being alone as an only child but I am going to change that this year because it's too easy for me to blow guys off (who never had a chance) "act" like I love being single and in the blink of an eye wake up older, educated, gainfully employed and still living at home alone.
I don't want to get comfortable being alone just like you wouldn't get comfortable at your entry level job or with an associates degree if you want your masters. I hope that doesn't sound desperate.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
I'm starting to wonder though, is this a result of your mom being single? Or is her singleness a result of her being emotionally immature and not getting out there and living a fulfilling life regardless?
I'm just saying... It sounds more like a "what came first the chicken or the egg?" scenario. You know your mom better than I do however, so maybe you're right, and maybe it's her singleness that has caused her behavior. But I'm guessing that in SOME people's cases, it's their BEHAVIOR that has caused their long-term singleness.
If I never went out with friends, never did anything, never went to concerts, acted emotionally immature even in my platonic relationships and especially during dates w/guys, I think that would be the "cause" of my singleness too! In other words, how do we know that it's not THOSE things that are keeping people single instead of the singleness that is making people this way? I'm sorry, but I know of far too many ladies (even OLDER women) who still live a nice fulfilling life, take trips, vacations, have fun, etc. even in their 60's. They aren't moping around crying "woe is me", or acting immature in any way. I guess I'm wondering where does the line get drawn? Who determines that when someone has been single for x amount of years, then obviously that person is somehow going to be immature? I just don't think one size fits all here.
Maybe I'm the minority in thinking this way, but I don't care.
I've just seen way too many exceptions.
Now granted, I never want to end up dying alone, never married, and childless.....
That's not what I have in mind. I'm way too sociable for that. I know some women can live happy lives despite being married or having kids, but I at least want the experience.
sweetpea7
Well-Known Member
@Crystalicequeen123 I wasn't trying to generalize older single women. I was specifically talking about my mother.
I think she is the way she is single because she's a super saved christian (smaller pool of men that would meet her standard), emotionally immature, (i feel that she doesn't handle her anger as a mature adult when it comes to me) and introverted...among other things.
I didn't mean to give the impression that long term singleness caused you to turn into someone like her; imo after 20 some odd yrs her singleness has somewhat intensified her already recluse behavior etc. I hope that makes sense.
I know there are many single people living a full life and I wish she was one of them.
I think she is the way she is single because she's a super saved christian (smaller pool of men that would meet her standard), emotionally immature, (i feel that she doesn't handle her anger as a mature adult when it comes to me) and introverted...among other things.
I didn't mean to give the impression that long term singleness caused you to turn into someone like her; imo after 20 some odd yrs her singleness has somewhat intensified her already recluse behavior etc. I hope that makes sense.
I know there are many single people living a full life and I wish she was one of them.
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CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
I think its interesting - though am in no way surprised - that the sensitivity thing is a pattern. you know why, cause you never the **** learned how to be checked. when youre in a relationship with men you learn pretty quickly when and how to play ball. you dont live your life doing whatever you want unchecked. but when you only have children, who have to defer to you one way or another, that aspect of relationships is missing for you.
as far as the chicken and the egg, I really don't think it matters. one of my favorite books says, of this matter, "a circle has no beginning" and another one says "knowing full well it didnt matter because god had to come before either of them." if my mom were the type of person who wouldnt live her life single, she wouldn't have become a person whose life predicates singleness. its all the same thing, there is no cause and effect. in EVERY case, ones behavior is responsible for their singleness. whats different is whether or not people know this. obviously if somebody could understand how what they are doing is a problem, they would change. you cant fix what you cant see.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
wow this thread heated up.
well....this is awkward...
maybe because there are a some uncomfortable, yet ironically befitting, things happening in here.
interesting.
I agree with @CaraWalker. which kinda makes me feel bad. so right but so damn harsh. damn. lol
well....this is awkward...
maybe because there are a some uncomfortable, yet ironically befitting, things happening in here.
interesting.
I agree with @CaraWalker. which kinda makes me feel bad. so right but so damn harsh. damn. lol
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
wow this thread heated up.
well....this is awkward...
maybe because there are a some uncomfortable, yet ironically befitting, things happening in here.
interesting.
I agree with @CaraWalker. which kinda makes me feel bad. so right but so damn harsh. damn. lol
dont you come up in here instigating
i did everything in my power to be gentle.barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
dont you come up in here instigating
LOL
I tried not to post but I had to, it's something thats been on my mind for awhile. like a LOT for a LONG time. I made similar comments in a completely different thread while back but I think I sounded like an arshehole too. lol. jussayin everything doesnt have to be so complex and difficult as some make it. no one likes being judged or criticized but its not always a bad. we've all had tunnel vision at some point, caught up and stuck not realizing we've wasted so much time & energy focusing our positive intentions totally focused on the wrong thing.
That said, there's a path of least resistance.
idk....some cant see i...others see it and refuse to believe it....sometimes its hard to watch.
Kalani
Well-Known Member
Its so funny to see almost my exact thoughts written out on screen. I'm one of those people content in my singlehood as far as companionship goes. I enjoy my own company, cherish my personal space, and enjoy not being burdened with having to worry about anyone else but myself (yes, incredibly selfish...this is what happens when you're single for too long). On the occasion that I do find myself desiring a man its usually for more shallow reasons; having a physically capable man around the house take care of the heavy work, fix things, and just do all the manly stuff. I'm also very visual (like my men to be easy on the eyes) with a healthy libido so....yeah . Marrying a dude when I'm old is like....kind of defeats the purpose of my needs.But I'm not completely superficial, there are also times where I think my solo vacations and experiences could be enhanced with the right partner to share it all with. As of late I'm into outdoorsy activities for my vacations (mountain biking, hiking, etc..) so it is definitely optimal to find a man I can experience those kinds of things with while I'm still relatively young.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
Ohhhh...Okay I understand now. Thanks for clarifying.
Has she ever been married before and the relationship just didn't work out? Or has she never been married or in a LTR before?
CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
I have not given up but it's not a priority anymore.
I try not to get so sad about it.
I am rethinking my approach to finding love.
Apparently finding love and a great partner isn't like working on a career or a term paper.
You can't hard work your way to finding a relationship or marriage.
Next year I will be paid up on my car.
I just paid off two student loans. Still got another large one to tackle.
It has been a difficult year financially and not having that burden I will now use that money to travel and search for a new city to move to.
I think doing something exciting and new will rejuvenate me and give me a different aura.
Part of my issue is been that I am just not happy in the state I live.
I just want to enjoy my life, if I find someone along the way, fabulous!!!
I try not to get so sad about it.
I am rethinking my approach to finding love.
Apparently finding love and a great partner isn't like working on a career or a term paper.
You can't hard work your way to finding a relationship or marriage.
Next year I will be paid up on my car.
I just paid off two student loans. Still got another large one to tackle.
It has been a difficult year financially and not having that burden I will now use that money to travel and search for a new city to move to.
I think doing something exciting and new will rejuvenate me and give me a different aura.
Part of my issue is been that I am just not happy in the state I live.
I just want to enjoy my life, if I find someone along the way, fabulous!!!
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sweetpea7
Well-Known Member
No problem. I can't really talk about this is real life so it's nice to release here.
The latter. Never married or had a ltr. She has dated for a month or three a handful of times in the past decade. Nothing serious.
The latter. Never married or had a ltr. She has dated for a month or three a handful of times in the past decade. Nothing serious.
Ohhhh...Okay I understand now. Thanks for clarifying.
Living life unchecked is an interesting thought. I pretty much set it up so my partners know not to check me as a large rule. I suppose that can be a negative thing but to be totally honest about my end of game- I am unwilling to change that. I am too used to ruling the roost.
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
i just feel like... how can you not know why you arent finding anybody? i know exactly the things that stop me from being in relationships with guys i meet or am dating, and i know exactly how to stop them if i were ready or willing to do things i dont necessarily want to do in order to have a relationship. see what i mean? i know part of the problem in itself is that i am looking for something prohibitively specific and not willing to accept things that arent that. and that's all me. that has nothing to do with men.
i think there are just a handful of scenarios that account for being single, and all of them have the same school of solutions.
1. not meeting any guys
2. meeting guys but they dont appear to want to date you
3. not meeting the kind of guy you want
i think a lot of prolonged single women think they are in the third category and as far as im concerned thats a mental thing that really has nothing to do with what is actually available. you mean to tell me of the millions of men available on this planet, in any given state, you arent finding any that fit some idea of what youre thinking you want? not any? ok.
MrsTimberlake
Well-Known Member
I haven't given up, but I'm not actively seeking it either. If it happens, it happens. I already told my 12 yr old niece that I nominate her to take care of me when I'm old. I told her I don't want a mustache, so she will need to make sure my lip is waxed
I would like to say that since this post, I have found love. I wasn't looking and it just happened. He is such an amazing guy and we just fit together perfectly. I'm positive I've found my "one". At 42, I've never felt this way
Godsdaughter001
Well-Known Member
Beautiful!!!! I just read your post (as well as this thread) early this morning as I couldn't sleep.I would like to say that since this post, I have found love. I wasn't looking and it just happened. He is such an amazing guy and we just fit together perfectly. I'm positive I've found my "one". At 42, I've never felt this way
So happy for you!!! Being in love while being loved in return is a wonderful feeling Congratulations
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
i just feel like... how can you not know why you arent finding anybody? i know exactly the things that stop me from being in relationships with guys i meet or am dating, and i know exactly how to stop them if i were ready or willing to do things i dont necessarily want to do in order to have a relationship. see what i mean? i know part of the problem in itself is that i am looking for something prohibitively specific and not willing to accept things that arent that. and that's all me. that has nothing to do with men.
i think there are just a handful of scenarios that account for being single, and all of them have the same school of solutions.
1. not meeting any guys
2. meeting guys but they dont appear to want to date you
3. not meeting the kind of guy you want
i think a lot of prolonged single women think they are in the third category and as far as im concerned thats a mental thing that really has nothing to do with what is actually available. you mean to tell me of the millions of men available on this planet, in any given state, you arent finding any that fit some idea of what youre thinking you want? not any? ok.
For many of women there is a h u g e lack of self awareness.
Also, I noticed a lack of dating skills, even in the stories in some of these threads.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
Good for you @CurlyMoo
Yes, going about finding love isn't always like going out trying to find a job.... It just doesn't work that way in some instances. I've tried that and that doesn't work...especially when it comes to men.
However, I DO think there are things you can proactively do that will help anyone to find who they're meant to be with a little sooner in life.
I like your goals of paying off your bills so that you can have more money to travel, vacation and visit new cities. Possibly moving to a new state is also a good goal. Girl...I did the same thing (moved to a new state) 2 years ago, and I don't regret it at all. Sometimes it's GOOD to have a change of scenery for a little while.
It HAS been challenging (don't get me wrong) even in the dating area (especially in the state that I moved to ), but I'm making a lot of new friends, meeting new people, and having new experiences, and that keeps life interesting. You never know when/who you will meet when you're thrown into different various circles. And yes, doing something exciting and being the "new girl in town" does rejuvenate you, and people are drawn to others who are "not from around here". You can strike up many conversations with people simply be not being from the area/town that they're from. People are usually very interested in others who didn't grow up in the same area.
Good for you! I'm sure you'll find someone in time.
@MrsTimberlakeI would like to say that since this post, I have found love. I wasn't looking and it just happened. He is such an amazing guy and we just fit together perfectly. I'm positive I've found my "one". At 42, I've never felt this way
That's awesome!
I'm so happy for you!See...this is why I will NEVER give up on finding love. You just never know sometimes when it will happen.
Thanks to starting the CITO book last year, I now know for me personally some of the roadblocks that have prevented me from going about finding love the right way, and I'm definitely working on those areas.
I haven't finished the book yet, but even just half-way through it and doing the exercises have really "opened my eyes" and helped me to see some of the mistakes I've been making, and how I can do things differently in the future. It has made me so incredibly self-aware already, I can't even begin to imagine just how MUCH more self-aware it will make me when I finish reading the book! I feel like I know myself SO much better now, and I'm only half-way. It's a tough book though....not for the faint at heart at all. But so far it's been so worth it. I'm picking it back up again (just started reading it again last night actually), and it's so encouraging.I find it interesting that you said you found your new guy when you weren't even "looking". I've always found that saying to be very interesting. It must be true in enough cases because people are constantly saying it lol. Then, there are those who believe that you can't just leave things up to "chance" and that you have to actively seek out a relationship/love. I say that it can happen either way, there is no wrong or right way. Maybe for some going the active route works for them, and for others, being more passive and just remaining OPEN to love helps them attract more "fish" in the sea. I guess it all just depends.
But anyway, I'm really happy for you and I hope you continue to find happiness in your new relationship.
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
right! like nobody knows everything but being a grown woman and not having a grasp of this basic ****, that **** is not cute. I could not be bothered with a grown man who didnt know how to date me or relate to me, its gotta be even worse the other way around because women, especially as we get older, are all desperately trying to get chose. it basically automatically removes most valid responses to the "what do you bring to the table" question.
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
I was just thinking about a friend in real life who lacks basic dating skills. She's skittish, paranoid, reads into things (like if there is a delay in a text convo she gets nervous), talks too much. It's so bad that I'm mad that her best friend hasn't schooled her! If me and her were cool like that I would help a sista out.
I realized that dating literally is a skill, it's a subset of social skills and it's good to know how to handle yourself because if you don't have that then whatever's next in the process is null and void.
Kimbosheart
Well-Known Member
I have a friend in her mid 40's who has yet to grasp that being invited over to a guys house to watch a movie for a first date is not a good sign. Kids these days say "Netflix and chill" but umm, it's not a new thing.
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
i think with "kids," younger dating folks, we know what it means and it's sort of a joke how it's definitely NOT a date. netflix and chill is the new "wanna hook up?" and most people get that. its definitely not dating.
Kimbosheart
Well-Known Member
You missed the point. Back in my mom's day it was "listen to a record at my place", in my day it was just a go to blockbuster and get a movie. It ain't new at all, she should know by now. You should learn that trick, at the latest, maybe by 24.
If the first date invitation you get is at his house for some form of cheap entertainment... you should know.
