How can you give up?

[dlewis]

Cichelle, will I ever spell your name right? I got the first and last four letters right this time.

 

[glamazon386]

I agree with everything you ladies have said. I mean time is going to go on regardless, I'd rather my hair be growing and I retain that length as time goes by than for my hair to be standing still.

At one point I had given up on my hair (before I found this board) because I felt like no matter what I did to it would still break off. I tried to steer clear of certain things and methods because I knew my hair was fine. As long as I was with my one hairdresser my hair thrived. But everytime something happened with her (ie she stopped doing hair and got a fulltime job at one point, she went out on maternity leave twice, etc.) I had to try somebody else and my hair got jacked up. When I went off to college I couldn't get it done regularly anymore so it wasn't being taken care off. All my progress was gone in one semester and I had to chop and start over again.

I was tired of having to keep cutting and starting over. It wasn't until I finally decided to take care of it myself it started looking better. But some of that damage was irreparable. The hair just needed to go. There was no point in hanging onto thin, scraggly, damaged hair anymore. It wasn't until after chopping all my hair off and going natural that I made the most progress. My hair has made a complete turn around. I have a whole new head of hair and I don't regret one minute of it now.

 

[AvaSpeaks]

When I see "giving up" type posts I feel sad. Usually the poster is "giving up" after what I consider, such a short time.

Real change takes time, give things a chance.

I think they give up quick is because either they do not get quick results or because they are trying all of the techniques but are not really paying attention to how to use alot of the great products on the board.

Because of this, the products do not yield the results other posters said they would get or that they expect.

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Hey ladies!
this thread makes a good point about not giving up. but i have to play devils advocate....sorry. Just want u guys to see another point of view. My hair has been between SL and APL most of my life (some think thats long but i dont). I feel like i've been plagued by 'the trim' forever. My mom and sister's hair is much longer. I get frustrated all the time b/c they dont do ANYTHING special to their hair. My mom actually dyes her hair BLONDE from root to tip once a month! and she rakes through it with a brush from ROOT to tip everyday and uses 99 cent gel and it just grows and grows and grows. Both my sister and my mom's hair is naturally soft - maybe 3as, my sister might even be in the 2 family (different fathers). So for me, giving up or the urge to give up doesnt really mean live with frazzled hair as much as it just means not WORKING so hard on my hair. Not letting it control my life. Sleeping without tying my hair up, going to the salon to look 'pretty' more often rather than wearing protective styles. i think about that type of 'giving up' often. I've struggled with my hair for so many years. I think this year and the next 3 (till i'm 30) will be my last shot to give my hair a chance. I'm transitioning to natural to see if that will help. I cant keep being let down anymore, spending $$, researching, living in the bun. So by 'give up' to me it just means giving up on length, not neccessarily health. Hopefully - i can have both...we'll see!

And this also is an excellent point! Kinda along the same lines as when the "why is our hair so difficult" thread was started.

I feel ya on this post. However, I just made my routine super simple and I will work with this routine for awhile to produce some real results before I start having another "panic rant" on the boards

 

[KhandiB]

I give up alot

But I start back up

LOL

Im about to cut my hair again .. Its for the best. LOL

 

[sweetpuff]

Thank you for this thread, thank tou thank you thank you..... You don't know how much it means to me. (sorry this might be a bit long)

Shoulder length has been my longest length all my life. 2 years ago I decided I wanted bra-strap long hair for my pro (this april). Well guess what, I'm still at shoulder length. Yes I am frustrated at times and a couple of days ago I just wanted to chop it all of and call it quits. But deep down I know it is not the good way to go.

The same way we have to change the way we think about food, exercise and body image, we have to rethink our relationship with our hair. We have to think of it a as new healthy lifestyle. not a diet. not an obsessive, race against the clock kinda thing.
I know that there are certain things I am very impatient about (my hair-getting a house...) and I tend to forget the whole thing about the "voyage" to that destination. I've 2 set backs and those have helped me to take better care of my hair. EXPERIENCE IS THE NAME GIVEN TO OUR ERRORS. I prefer taking my time and have healthy long hair istead of having bra-strap long hair in 2 months and loose it all because I would not know how to care about it.

Learning to let go of the stress is very helpful. Being worried, obsessed and all that negative stuff is not helping and we all know it. do your regimen, keep yourself busy with other things, if needed, take a break from the forums, but be consistent. If you need it, get a hair growing buddy (check the sticky), take pictures on a regular basis or wait until the end of a self-given challenge.

I know I should not give up. and we all know it can be hard sometimes.

 

[MrsBKJ]

Thank you for this thread, thank tou thank you thank you..... You don't know how much it means to me. (sorry this might be a bit long)

Shoulder length has been my longest length all my life. 2 years ago I decided I wanted bra-strap long hair for my pro (this april). Well guess what, I'm still at shoulder length. Yes I am frustrated at times and a couple of days ago I just wanted to chop it all of and call it quits. But deep down I know it is not the good way to go.

The same way we have to change the way we think about food, exercise and body image, we have to rethink our relationship with our hair. We have to think of it a as new healthy lifestyle. not a diet. not an obsessive, race against the clock kinda thing.
I know that there are certain things I am very impatient about (my hair-getting a house...) and I tend to forget the whole thing about the "voyage" to that destination. I've 2 set backs and those have helped me to take better care of my hair. EXPERIENCE IS THE NAME GIVEN TO OUR ERRORS. I prefer taking my time and have healthy long hair istead of having bra-strap long hair in 2 months and loose it all because I would not know how to care about it.

Learning to let go of the stress is very helpful. Being worried, obsessed and all that negative stuff is not helping and we all know it. do your regimen, keep yourself busy with other things, if needed, take a break from the forums, but be consistent. If you need it, get a hair growing buddy (check the sticky), take pictures on a regular basis or wait until the end of a self-given challenge.

I know I should not give up. and we all know it can be hard sometimes.

Miss Tress: you are welcome I hoped it would do some good and Im glad it has. Thank you.

Sweetpuff: Stick with it. I know I was at shoulder length forever trying one thing an another then just thought sack it let me KISS...and that is what has worked more for my hair than anything else.
It might not be as bouncy and blingy as some of our other sisters on here but its mine and Im ok with it.

Thanks ladies for all the wonderful responses and the motivation.

Uzz