"Why did you go in me raw?" -the other woman

[ElizaBlue]

I'm carrying a lot of baggage from my last relationship. My ex cheated on me numerous times. He told me I was insecure for years until I found a text in his phone that read "Why would you go in me raw if you knew you were gona go back to your girl? You always do this to me! I hate you!" I had finally had proof. I left and refused to come back until he was completely honest with me. He then told me he'd cheated on me about 6 times with 4 different women. I was devestated, moreso because he'd convinced me for so long that I had trust issues and I was just insecure. Fast forward to my current relationship. This man is everything I prayed for. I would exceed the character limit if I explained to you how perfect he is for me...BUT there's this phone issue. I'm an open book with him. He freely looks thru my phone, not neccesarily looking for anything, but just browsing. Him, though, we can be lounging in doors and he'll keep his phone in his pocket, or he'll cautiously lay his phone down but he'll lay it face down. WTF who lays a touch screen face down? Once we were out and I asked to use his phone to call my bff, I'd accidentally left mine at home. He called her FOR me and asked her about what I needed. Are you serious? I get so mad because I'm not stupid. My ex and I had these same type of arguments. I've snapped about it and he blames me for making him pay for my ex or he'll ask me the golden question "Why are you so insecure?!?!" I swear I see red when he asks me that! His actions make me so confused though. This man has sat down with my parents and have talked to them about marrying me. He's with me everysingle day almost to the point where I feel smothered! And has a fit when I wana go out lol when I need him he's there. He deals with my emotional wounds and ups/downs. I can go on and on. So what is he hiding from me? How do I deal with this? IDK if this is a red flag or my wounded self engulfed in fear. How should I come to him? If at all? I want your honest thoughts, please!

Sorry dear...trying to navigate this new house they've built for us.

As for your situation. You know folk who are theives, murderers, liars, CHEATERS always are paranoid and suspect that the people around them are going to steal from them, kill them, lie to them, CHEAT on them. I'm sure there is some clinical name for it some self-projection title or another. But it's true. His behavior toward you is clear that he does not trust you. Because he knows you should not trust him.

Since he knows past idiot was busted via cell phone...of course he is overly protective as he has the same weapon of choice. There's an old saying here on this board, "If you have to ask you already know". Sometimes when I've decided to move on...done made up my mind...become emotionally divested of whatever feelings I have for a guy...I start to move from victim to predator...lol.

It's just my way. I refuse to let them make me feel bad, sad or foolish and I move into now I'm going to mess you mode...on my way out the door. Once upon a time...(and many of you may remember this from earlier posts)... I was dating this guy and thought he was my everything. But something in my gut just wasn't right. Little things. Well the short of it, I found out he was cheating on line and decided to break up with him. But first I played with him.

I told him one day that I had this new undercover software they had given us at work and wanted to try it out. He was pretty much ignoring me looking at the game. I picked up my cell phone and started to push buttons while I explained how the software worked. And this was before bluetooth. I told him that we had a application that would allow you to transfer all data from one cell to another just by keying in that cell phones number to my phone. And that we didn't need passwords as long as the other phone was powered on. I pointed my phone at his and just pushed the crazy high pitched ring tone I had just set.

Didn't that brother dang near jump over the coffee table, grab his phone, snatch the cover off the back and pull out the battery. I just looked at him.

 

[calmsensual1]

Funny, my ex (the one who I hate the most. Long story short: he got married to someone else while he was with me) used to put his phone face down.

Good luck girl with whatever you decide to do.

 

[Xavier]

Sometimes you just need to follow your gut.

 

[caribeandiva]

Go with your intuition...Usually if you suspect something, it's for a reason.

I agree.

 

[SouthernJewel]

Just ask to see his phone. Be ready to walk if he says no.

I did this with my SO. If he has NOTHING to hide, he will give it to you. If he does, he wont. Bottom line. I told my SO if he didnt give me his phone, it was OVER. I meant it. You cant say it and not mean it.

 

[lea86111]

@eliza blue wow you're like the coolest person in my book right now! That was hi-freaking-larious.

 

[awhyley]

Funny, my ex (the one who I hate the most. Long story short: he got married to someone else while he was with me) used to put his phone face down.

Hold up? So, yall weren't on a break or anything? He was still datin' like a single brother while planning a wedding and everything? Dang.

You cant say it and not mean it.

You KNOW that's right.