Why are you black? Your not black?

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

LMAO...man, folks are bold. Black folks come in many shades, from the milkiest white to dark as midnight. I'm living proof of that. The last caucasoid to throw genes in my pool was six+ generations ago. You define you.

 

[andromeda]

don't explain yourself

 

[Ms Lala]

I bet these same ladies would be the ones cussing somebody out if they heard someone else say President Obama isn't Black. They are full of ish and it's a personal excuse for them as to why they can't get their hair together. I wouldn't have even entertained that.

 

[lovely_locks]

thanks ladies! Ill be ready for them next time! Im not even gunna waste my time, with people like that. Its just sad to think that my kids are going to go through this.....but ill teach them how do deal through my mistakes. I want my kids to be stronger then me, and deal with situations like this better then me.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

People are so dumb, especially the ones who judge your nationality on being 100% black. I don't believe anyone is 100% any race since we all came from cultures that have been mixed for centuries. Never feel bad about your heritage and don't explain yourself to people. It tears me up when people who downgrades someone else because in their opinion, you don't fit the criterion of what they feel makes a person one race or another. If you allow it, they will make you feel inferior and insecure. I have a mixed family so it pissed me off as a kid when people put down my cousins for the very same reason. I remember all the fights we had to come to their defense. This post just reminded me of what my cousins and I went through in our childhood.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

wow she had nerve! ♥

 

[Janet']

Don't explain yourself to people who matter not in your life!

 

[Neith]

More racial crap.

It's hard, but make sure to grow a thick skin. You can be bombarded by ignorance from any type of person... anywhere.

Sad, but true.

 

[nikolite]

i was at the store and these two women and black and white asked me why my hair is so curley and if its natural. I have 3c/4a hair. I said idk, thats how it grows. Then they asked me if i concidered myself black, i said yes. They asked me my nationality next. I told them im black and white mixed. The black lady then told me im not black. I said nothing. Just stared at her. She asked me why do you call yourself black when you are not? You are light skinned and have curly hair. I told her that i never noticed skin color untill a white person asked me why i talk white, and my this black girl came up behind me and told that white girl "leave my BLACK friend alone." this happend to me when i was a little. So after this short story the two ladies justed stared at me. I told them other people chose my race, not me. The black lady just shook her head at me. Then she said, if your fifty, fifty you cant call yourself black. I then told her that my mom is fifty, fifty and my dad is full so i am mostly black (even my mother conciders herself black because she syas that black people accept her more thne white people do.) then the white lady said no your not, not with that light skin and curly hair.....OMG! Why do i have to defend myself.....

Was this in the US, OP? I've had similar experiences like this in South Africa. I had a similar convo with a white girl who couldn't understand why I'd consider myself to be black instead of coloured (mixed race). Who would want that, right? (sarcasm ). I'm also a 3C/4A.

I suspect the white woman knew that you were black but was picking a bone. I've noticed that whites are more likely nowadays to want to claim certain black people or pretend that they are not really black, mainly because they defy the stereotypes of "blackness" that they cling on to. The definition also changes when they think you are beautiful. Like with Halle Berry and Barack Obama (and I've even heard this argument with Beyonce), some whites are now questioning why they regard themselves as black, when a kindergarten understanding of American history makes it obvious.

Race is nothing but a social construction. She defined "black" how she wanted it and excluded you for her own personal reasons. But best believe 70 years ago she wouldn't be thinking anything near that. You'd be black, hands down. And I bet she doesn't doubt whether she's 100% white because she might not have froish hair or a broader nose. It don't mean squat though. Individual races don't have nearly the monopoly on physical features that people think. There's more variation within races than between them.

Btw, a white friend of mine (whom I care about a lot--he was ignorant and meant no harm) also said to me about another black friend: "But she's much blacker than you are, you're kinda blackish." (Don't worry, in the context of the conversation he was just really being silly). I told him that because he has blond hair/blue eyes, then he's whiter than another girl we knew, who was brunette. She was just "whitish." That got him thinking...

 

[Loveygram]

thanks ladies! Ill be ready for them next time! Im not even gunna waste my time, with people like that. Its just sad to think that my kids are going to go through this.....but ill teach them how do deal through my mistakes. I want my kids to be stronger then me, and deal with situations like this better then me.

Good for you. You were probably just caught off guard. Who would've expected such comments ?

Hmm sounds like the other lady wasn't doubting your "black credentials" but then, they rarely do...

Blessings

 

[EccentricRed]

People assume that I am biracial, simply because I am lightskinned with curly hair. I have two black parents. 4 black grandparents...Genes are genes. I have three biracial cousins who are sisters. Two consider themselves black, the other one considers herself to be white. If we go back to the Reconstruction Period, you are black with ANY drops of African blood. We need to stop classifying and keep it moving. I don't take the time to tell people what they are/aren't because that's what European people have been doing to black since the day they saw us in Africa!

 

[halee_J]

*stupse* I'm sorry that happened to you. People are so retarded sometimes. I don't understand why there is this incessant need to put everybody in a box of some sort. The BW probably was admiring your hair, and was defending her own by chalking it up to you having "that good hair" It's probably much easier for her to accept that, rather than the possibility of letting HER OWN hair be great.

 

[Hairsofab]

OP if you come back to the thread. What region was this in? My mom has had this happen a couple of times out west. It never happened back in the midwest. Some people can be very agressive about it too.

 

[Blyss_curls]

**********************************************************************
THIS IS A TEST. THIS IS A TEST. THIS IS A TEST OF LHCF's emergency preparedness. IS IT 2010? Why were either of these women allowed to leave the premises unharmed. LMAO..but no...


OP, I am sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, this happens all to often and I am sure that if you polled any of the many intelligent and articulate women on this forum, they have at one time or another been accused of "talking White." And I have heard, "No, but what are you really?" with reference to my ethnicity more times than I care to remember. It is unfortunate but ignorance is alive and well. All we can really do is procreate and educate carefully.

ETA:
Yes, I said procreate carefully. Way to many women are passing on the genes of men that just don't need to be passed on. Lol...the gene pool is declining. We need to all come to grips with the fact that some people really need to be losers in the great Darwinian race. LMAO...I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

Really needed to thank you personally for the above bolded.
Thank YOU!



Have been asked this question since childhood. Been accused of lying about my ethnic background more than I care to recall. Guess one can't be a lighter shade of brown, beige or even yellow (as some call it) and be black (according to some).

erplexed

Bit o/t but was interviewing stylists at one point.
Called one (by phone), only to be interrupted by the following:

"You sound like some white lady...why are you calling me about a black hair style."

.......

......

---- (heavy sigh)------

 

[Petiteness]

Just stare back at them with a straight face Until they stop asking those dumb arse questions...

 

[Tiye]

i was at the store and these two women and black and white asked me why my hair is so curley and if its natural. I have 3c/4a hair. I said idk, thats how it grows. Then they asked me if i concidered myself black, i said yes. They asked me my nationality next. I told them im black and white mixed. The black lady then told me im not black. I said nothing. Just stared at her. She asked me why do you call yourself black when you are not? You are light skinned and have curly hair. I told her that i never noticed skin color untill a white person asked me why i talk white, and my this black girl came up behind me and told that white girl "leave my BLACK friend alone." this happend to me when i was a little. So after this short story the two ladies justed stared at me. I told them other people chose my race, not me. The black lady just shook her head at me. Then she said, if your fifty, fifty you cant call yourself black. I then told her that my mom is fifty, fifty and my dad is full so i am mostly black (even my mother conciders herself black because she syas that black people accept her more thne white people do.) then the white lady said no your not, not with that light skin and curly hair.....OMG! Why do i have to defend myself.....

Haven't read the rest of the thread yet so if this is redundant I apologize but you are who you say you are and you don't need to defend yourself to anyone - esp. not random people in stores. The lady was way out of line anyway - you don't accost strangers in public places and tell them who you think they are. Makes me wonder if she was right in the head.

 

[cmw45]

Really needed to thank you personally for the above bolded.
Thank YOU!



Have been asked this question since childhood. Been accused of lying about my ethnic background more than I care to recall. Guess one can't be a lighter shade of brown, beige or even yellow (as some call it) and be black (according to some).

erplexed

Bit o/t but was interviewing stylists at one point.
Called one (by phone), only to be interrupted by the following:

"You sound like some white lady...why are you calling me about a black hair style."

.......

......

---- (heavy sigh)------

Yup...I called JC Penney's and was set up for an appointment...only to be called back a half an hour later with, "Wait...ummm...didn't realize it until you asked for a relaxer not a perm. Are you African American?" I can't even begin to explain how "shook" the lady on the other end of the phone sounded as she asked that question.

 

[empressri]

why are you entertaining them in the first place? when people come out of face asking questions like that when they don't even know you, trust me they have nothing intelligent to say.

i never entertain folks like that, NEVER cause i know ill end up cussing them out.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Wooooooooooooooooooooow.

 

[Curlykale]

You're very nice. I would have been SO tempted to say: "I'm glad you cleared up my mind. I've been waiting for this missing information for a whole life. I'll go to check my hue number in the dictionary".

 

[HauteHippie]

That's ridiculous. When people ask you "what" you are, you can simply tell them you're a person. If they rudely push, you can tell them you're a person first, everything else comes later. Let other people decide and then keep on walking. People are always going to decide something untrue about you in the face of fact in life, whether it's about race, relationships, or work. Let THEM squabble about it. People have a lot of nerve. I can't imagine talking to anyone that way. They ask you a question, and don't want to accept your answer? Keep it movin'!

 

[dafnie]

... then the white lady said no your not, not with that light skin and curly hair.....OMG! Why do i have to defend myself.....

That's interesting... because when Obama came in the picture, all of USA was calling him a black man. Shoot, he's half/half, light skinned (idk if his hair is curly) and he doesn't talk "black" (whatever that is)...

Girl... sorry you had to go through that.

 

[rririla]

I am 50/50 and my m om would check both on my school registration forms, and The 'administration' would erase the white box, and keep the black box checked of...so society chose for me......because if you don't look 100% white, then in their eyes you aren't white....sad but true...my black family and friends accepted me more than my mothers' family anyway, so I was more than happy to be considered black anyway!!!!!!!....People can be so hurtful and ignorant...but it's the way of the world sis', I just try to be as good a person as I can be and ignore everything negative.....

 

[lovely_locks]

thanks everyone after reading these posts i know ill be ready for the next time.. as of now i am living in the hot, hot south!

 

[brucebettye]

I have learned over the years to ignore comments like that. It takes too much effort to explain to people my back ground. Next time just walk away and save yourself the hassle.

 

[motherpopcorn562]

girl , I'm black all the way down to great great great great grandparents. No direct mix and people still argue with me- telling me I'm not black. You can't win for losing so don't worry about it!@ *** EM

 

[exoticmommie]

After I get done with people like that, they would be afraid to do it someone else.

 

[swimfan09]

I am so sorry that you had to endure that. I am even sorrier that some of us are still so uninlightened. Slavery is not dead, unfortunately - you just witnessed the worst kind of slavery of all - mental slavery.

I think Dr. Gates did a study and about 70-80% of African American people have ancestory other than African. That is why we all come in the wide variety of beautiful shades and hues. The woman who called you mixed is probably mixed herself. I am from Louisiana and have French creole and native american as well, but I am black and proud of it. My biracial nieces and nephews identify as black because they want to proudly embrace their African heritage in a society that doesn't associate positive things with blacks and with Africa.

The poor woman who addressed you is suffering from severe self esteem issues. I would have told her that I was proudly black, then asked her why she wanted to view all African Americans as stereotypes and why she hated herself so much.

It is so sad that some people can only be negative and strive to hurt others. Only a person who loves who they are can be positive and see the beauty in all people.

 

[coolsista-paris]

they have a problem! and geeese why do they insist like that?

let people talk...the importance is that YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! just let them weard people say sad with their crap!

 

[NJoy]

Just stare back at them with a straight face Until they stop asking those dumb arse questions...

Umm hmmm. What she said.

AND, I hope they'd get the message before I black out on them. I'm not as patient as I used to be.


lachen:Sorry. You do you. I'mma do me. What the problem is? )


*don't judge me. pray for me.*