Who would never go natural?

[Poohbear]

PLUS...someone mentioned water being a natural's best friend but uh....water has become this relaxed-heads best friend also and I don't run from swimming, or rain either.

And you know what's even funnier???

I'm natural and when my hair was super short, water was my natural hair's best friend... now that it is gaining length... I find that water isn't so much my hair's best friend! I used to rinse my hair a lot and now I don't. I wash once every 1 to 2 weeks. I just sometimes don't feel like washing it or getting it wet, especially if I want it to stay stretched out. It's all a personal preference with me.

 

[MizaniMami]

This thread is a perfect example of why I've been a member since Sept. '05 but haven't said anything up until the past week or so. Women! (Shaking my head.) Yall know yall need to stop. I saw this on Good Morning America day before yesterday and all of yall need to read it as it puts things in perspective.

Stop being so damn mean to each other about dumb ish. If you hair is natural or relaxed...love it and all of the problems associated with it. I've seen some jacked up natural heads as well as some jacked up relaxed heads. It's not the HAIR TYPE...it's the REGIMEN TYPE. Isn't that what you guys are here for? To develop healthy regimens for YOUR HAIR TYPE? GEEZ! And those of you with these lengthy back and forths...COME ON...I know yall have better things to do as it is business/school hours. *sigh* Read the dang article:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=1719552&page=1

Amen to this!! I just don't see how people can get on a HAIR forum where there is about a 50% (maybe more or less) relaxed population and say things like "relaxed hair is dull and limp." Even though it is your opinion it WILL offend some people. That's like a white person getting on a mixed board saying that they don't like black people but it's just their 'opinion' so people shouldn't be offended. Sometimes even though you may feel that way it's better left unsaid!

And all that other stuff about trying to be a 'trend' and this is better than that is just another way that we are segregating ourselves erplexed Why can't we see that????

 

[Candy_C]

Ooh Oooh Oooh I wanna say something before this gets locked!

1. Well maintained relaxed hair can look pretty.
2. Well maintained natural hair can look pretty.
3. The title of this thread is insulting to naturals.
4. Saying that All relaxed hair looks limp and lifeless is insulting to relaxed heads.
5. I've never understood the 'I'm natural so I don't run from water.' plug.
When it's raining, anybody with some sense will run from it because that water is polluted as hell. Pool water has clorine in it so I'd cover my natural hair up in it. And fish pee in the ocean so I'm not trying to let my hair absorb that either.
6. It's perfectly fine to remember our history, but we don't need to be so caught up in it that we forget that with each day we are making new history. Many relaxed and natural heads on this board are disproving myths about black hair and ALL ought to be applauded.

^^^ THATS SENSE RIGHT THERE!!

and b4 it gets locked i'll say something too. the health of my relaxed hair is NOT an appearance! its bloody healthy and bloody thriving! My natural hair was neglected and therefore my relaxed hair is healthier then MY natural hair was. i agree that natural hair CAN be healthiest..it is kind of obvious as it doesn't require a chemical service - chemicals r bad for the body in general if certain precautions r not taken...

maybe the protein in my stands are "broken" to become straight bonds or whatever and "technically, scientifically" its classed as "damaged" even though i have never read or seen this myself from any hair, tricholosgist or hair specialist/scholar...

i think if my hair was natural i would probabley be saying relaxed hair was damaged too! but that would be biased pf me as theres healthy relaxed heads and mashed up ones, same with natural. at the end of the day hair is hair, and it all requires product to look healthy! imagine washing your hair with water and leaving it to dry with water.. we NEED products natural or not to maintain a healthy structure AND appearance. DONE

 

[CreoleInDC]

(Searching through my utility drawer for a key.) I WISH I HAD A KEY SO I COULD LOCK THIS STOOPIT CRAP UP MY DANG SELF. (And yet...like a wreck...I keep watching...Grrrrrrrrr.)

Yall are just perpetuating the myth that women can't get along.

 

[Candy_C]

(Searching through my utility drawer for a key.) I WISH I HAD A KEY SO I COULD LOCK THIS STOOPIT CRAP UP MY DANG SELF. (And yet...like a wreck...I keep watching...Grrrrrrrrr.)

Yall are just perpetuating the myth that women can't get along.

its not as serious as u think!

just a debate. it aint friendly though. every now and then we have these threads and then were all in love with each other again.

 

[CreoleInDC]

its not as serious as u think!

just a debate. it aint friendly though. every now and then we have these threads and then were all in love with each other again.

Screw that. I HATE dumb ish.

 

[Candy_C]

Screw that. I HATE dumb ish.

lol... ok..

 

[Poohbear]

Screw that. I HATE dumb ish.

geez, what's wrong? it's really not that serious like Candy C said... People are going to have their opinions, whether you think it's dumb or not, that's just life.

 

[Candy_C]

geez, what's wrong? it's really not that serious like Candy C said... People are going to have their opinions, whether you think it's dumb or not, that's just life.

Yup yup we all love each other really, and by the way PoohBear i watched your transition i'm very proud of you! I know relaxed hair wasn't your thing for a while and i think your brave.

 

[sylver2]

Yup yup we all love each other really, and by the way PoohBear i watched your transition i'm very proud of you! I know relaxed hair wasn't your thing for a while and i think your brave.

I agree, Poohbear's hair looks beautiful and I got to witness her decision of transitioning and doing it

 

[Poohbear]

Hey, whatever happened to loonatick, the original poster of this thread? :scratchch Where r u loonatick? I would like to know your answer to the question you asked for this thread...

Just out of interest, because everybody is always debating about if they should relax and how it can be damaging to the hair. But to all the texturized and relaxed heads, is there anyone out there who would never consider going natural? If so what are your reasons?

 

[CreoleInDC]

Debates stemming from different opinions is different than what went on here. And you know it. Some of these people were seriously mad and some of you were seriously dissing people yall only know on a dang message board. I felt like I was reading crazy ish on a BlackVoices Black / White thread.

Enemies today, friends tomorrow? That's just fake. I debate with my friends all the time and we would NEVER word things to each other in a manner that could be deemed disrespectful to the other BECAUSE we respect each other AND because we know someone would end up getting popped in da dang mouf. ROFL!

 

[Poohbear]

Thanks Candy_C and sylver2!

 

[Southernbella.]

That is kinda funny. But sad at the same time that black women even have other races confused about what is "natural"

I can see how they would be though. Up until recently, I had no idea that something like 80% of blond women you see aren't naturally blond. I had no reason to know, so when someone said it on another board, I was taken aback. I would imagine they're the same about our hair. Probably even moreso, since we're the minority.

 

[Southernbella.]

Debates stemming from different opinions is different than what went on here. And you know it. Some of these people were seriously mad and some of you were seriously dissing people yall only know on a dang message board. I felt like I was reading crazy ish on a BlackVoices Black / White thread.

Enemies today, friends tomorrow? That's just fake. I debate with my friends all the time and we would NEVER word things to each other in a manner that could be deemed disrespectful to the other BECAUSE we respect each other AND because we know someone would end up getting popped in da dang mouf. ROFL!

I think that, given the nature of message boards, people are probably always going to say things they wouldn't say in real life to their own friends. But like others have said, it's all love, and we will all move on to other threads and be cool again. If it bothers you that much (I swear I'm not trying to be smart), maybe you shoudn't read anymore.

Great post, JCoily!

 

[Poohbear]

http://mailcenter2.comcast.net/wmc/v/wm/441AECFC000016C800002CE922070016410109020703D20E0C07020103?cmd=GetImg&no=15&uid=167286&sid=c0&[email protected]Debates stemming from different opinions is different than what went on here. And you know it. Some of these people were seriously mad and some of you were seriously dissing people yall only know on a dang message board. I felt like I was reading crazy ish on a BlackVoices Black / White thread.

Enemies today, friends tomorrow? That's just fake. I debate with my friends all the time and we would NEVER word things to each other in a manner that could be deemed disrespectful to the other BECAUSE we respect each other AND because we know someone would end up getting popped in da dang mouf. ROFL!

Have you ever been seriously mad at your friends, or even close family members???

I don't think Candy C was saying "Enemies today, friends tomorrow" or suggesting us to be fake.

I've only seen just a couple of people going back and forth at each other in this particular thread. And they stopped... no big deal. I've seen worse... MUCH MUCH worse (trust me, I've been involved in some serious immature dissing in threads about a year ago... I've learned from that).

So it's gonna be okay. Most things arise because of misinterpretations or misunderstandings. Especially since you can't see or hear anyone on a message board.

 

[so1913]

Screw that. I HATE dumb ish.

Well, until this thread gets locked, it will keep on going...

In the meantime, my suggestion is if it truly angers you THAT much, just skip over it and move on to the next thread.

 

[Candy_C]

I can see how they would be though. Up until recently, I had no idea that something like 80% of blond women you see aren't naturally blond. I had no reason to know, so when someone said it on another board, I was taken aback. I would imagine they're the same about our hair. Probably even moreso, since we're the minority.

wow! 80%!!! u know what, its actually true thinkin about it.

 

[CreoleInDC]

Well, until this thread gets locked, it will keep on going...

In the meantime, my suggestion is if it truly angers you THAT much, just skip over it and move on to the next thread.

You are absolutely right. It's stuff like this that always ended up with my being kicked outta school and being picked up by a laughing father or a furious mother. My father thought it was great I didn't have a problem getting in someone's face and handling ish...my mother...on the other hand...thought I should be a lady and just ignore it. LOL!

Signed,

My father's daughter.

 

[hopeful]

Ooh Oooh Oooh I wanna say something before this gets locked!

1. Well maintained relaxed hair can look pretty.
2. Well maintained natural hair can look pretty.
3. The title of this thread is insulting to naturals.
4. Saying that All relaxed hair looks limp and lifeless is insulting to relaxed heads.
5. I've never understood the 'I'm natural so I don't run from water.' plug.
When it's raining, anybody with some sense will run from it because that water is polluted as hell. Pool water has clorine in it so I'd cover my natural hair up in it. And fish pee in the ocean so I'm not trying to let my hair absorb that either.
6. It's perfectly fine to remember our history, but we don't need to be so caught up in it that we forget that with each day we are making new history. Many relaxed and natural heads on this board are disproving myths about black hair and ALL ought to be applauded.

Thank you JCoily, I agree with everything you said here except for the bolded part. Bless you. And I agree with the whole never have to run from the rain crap, yes many naturals never run from the rain, but some of us do/did because the rain will take away a dual-textured sister's style with a quickness and she will have a lop-sided very odd looking fro in a minute. That's my truth.

To the OP, thank you for starting this thread. It helped so much. For some the issue is tired and played out, well for me it's not. I still have questions and am still trying to figure things out with regard to going natural, staying relaxed, dealing with dual textures, etc. This thread helped me settle on the best decision for me for the time-being. Bless you too.

To the mods, if you lock it down, just want you to know this thread was helpful to some of us, it just got off track and lost it's focus.

 

[so1913]

You are absolutely right. It's stuff like this that always ended up with my being kicked outta school and being picked up by a laughing father or a furious mother. My father thought it was great I didn't have a problem getting in someone's face and handling ish...my mother...on the other hand...thought I should be a lady and just ignore it. LOL!

Signed,

My father's daughter.

**************************************************
LOL!

 

[Aubergold]

I'm just going to say this and then I'm out of this thread, LOL...

Everyone has their defenses up...first off, I could careless what other races do to there hair or why they do it, their culture and history isn't mine and that's all I have to say about that. A lot of people want to put the tag on relaxers as being simply just a style...ok, that's fine...I don't have a problem with people relaxing their hair, you do you. In the end, it IS a preference. The only issue I somewhat have is with people ignoring or discrediting why we even have this product called a relaxer in the first place (regarless of whether or not you decide to wear one) or when you mention it, bringing up what "other people do" to justify things. Relaxers were not created for managability, they were not created simply for "style" or because it was "trendy", they were created because we were made to hate our hair, hate who we are and hate our features. They were made because we wanted to loook more like our white counterparts with hopes of being more accepted, period. That is fact, that is history, and that is why we have the relaxer and this theme has carried through generation to generation as we see in some of the responses from relaxed heads in this very thread, even with many of us not being aware on conscious of it. Now if you want to put another spin on it, give it a new "modern day definition", cool, that's up to you, just please don't ignore, discredit, or belittle our history. History will NEVER be irrelevant. If you read the original advertisements and promotions for relaxer products from back in the day....I assure that many of you may feel some type of way. You can say "Well, that was a long time ago....that's not valid today! You read too much into things...it's not that serious"....that's cool too, it's your beliefs and thoughts, I'm not going to beat anyone up for that.

I just encourage you all to think about this...What if the relaxer never existed? Would we even have an issue with thinking that natural hair is unmanagable??? Would we have so many young people walking around with damaged unsightly heads of broken short hair? Would there even be this debate of natural vs. relaxed? Would people go around saying "Urrrgh, I need a touch up, my hair is too nappy!...She has good hair...I'd only wear my hair natural if it curled up like hers." I've even had a friend say to me "You are the kind of person black people hate because your hair curls up"....would we even have thoughts like these? Ok, maybe it's not worth thinking about these things because we do have the relaxer.

I swear I feel like I'm in a scene from School Daze "talkin' bout good or bad hair" when I come here and IRL sometimes, LOL.

In the end, it's all a matter of personal preference, regarldless of what factors the preference is based on, it's a personal decision. There is no need to get defensive on either side, and there is no need for either side to attack one another. Naturals, everyone is not going to give up relaxing their hair...that's a fact, it is what it is. There is enlightening and encouraging, and then there is belittling and bashing and we need to be careful about not crossing that line. The only thing I challenge everyone to do is to understand certain things, not to IGNORE them, blow them off, or "brush them under the rug". It seems like we value our history and "knowing where we come from" when it comes to stuff like the Civil Rights Movement, the "act" of slavery, famous blacks in history, etc. etc., but when it comes down to stuff like this hair thing, or the some of "slave mentality" regarding various things, as subtle or as much of an undercurrent it may be, we tend to look at it as "not important", not want to accept that history is why we do certain things. We get defensive when it's brought up and respond with something to the effect of "it's not that serious, can't it just be a style?" We as people do a lot of things as a result of habit...habits based on things that go back further than 24 hours, a week, or even 5 years ago. I HATE and despise the history of this product. All these things for ME have encouraged me to stay natural, although as much as it would make me happy if it did, they may not do the same for you, and to me, there's nothing wrong with that, but don't discredit it or lable it as insignificant. It does not bother me that people relax because I understand that whole thing...some of you say it's just a style, nothing more, nothing less...that's fine, but understand where the style came from and don't deny that, and then move on.

I say happy hair growing!

I'm out!

OMG, u have expressed precisely what I've always wanted articulate to people and could quite find the right words!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!Goodness, I'm about to save this on my PC, do u mind??

 

[Candy_C]

i myself do actually say the phrase "i'm slaved to the relaxer" its sad really. i have thought deeply about goin natural and i will definately, i cant relax forever! its just not something i intend to do. i do wish i was natural sometimes, but i just remember how happy i was to have hair that wasn't plaited all my life, and the joke NOW is that i'm always in twists and never have straight hair. i wish my natural texture was like it was when i airdry NOW, i would be in my element as its easy 2 manage.

 

[thickness]

This thread has really been a trip! Too funny...Well, I've been relaxed, natural, and texturized. My hair did not suffer at all due to my hair type. Currently I'm natural, but I'm contemplating texturizing again. But, for me personally, I cannot wear ANY of the natural styles. I have tried them all. Twists are a definite no-no for me. The style just does not suit me. The only style that looks good on me is either the twist out or braid out. And, I honestly get tired of having to constantly do my hair all the time. And, if I knew my natural hair would be so much work, I don't think I would have went natural in the first place. My hair has NEVER took so much of my time. Because it is extremely dense, thick and coarse, the texturizer really did help ease my styling. And my twistouts lasted for at least a week. So, if I could find a way to make them last longer than 2 days, I would think about staying natural...But I just think we should not take things so literally, its just an opinion or personal preference. By the way, well said Jcoily! Totally agree.

 

[*ElleB]

I feel the same way you do. I've been transitioning for about 8 months and it has been a STRUGGLE. I am styled challenged and don't know if I can handle my natural hair. I have been looking like a hot mess at work and I don't know which way to turn. I don't like weaves or braids, I don't want a relaxer, but I don't know how to continue working with this transitioned hair either. I'm just hoping that my natural hair doesn't be as nappy as it is now. My hair is so nappy that it's making my scalp very sensitive. I can't weigh it down to put into a ponytail and recently it has been looking dull, brittle, and very dry. I think to myself, I sure hope this struggle is worth it in the end. I'm ready to get back to looking like the beautiful groomed lady I use to be. I just don't know about this transition to natural. I have been SERIOUSLY thinking about relaxing.

I have been going thru this exact same dilemma. Though I am liking my natural texture more and more these days, it has been a challenge dealing with the appearance of it...I'm a member here and I know so much about haircare, but if you would look at my hair u would want to slap me!!! It looks like i dont know what I am doing, ya know? My hair has only looked presentable in the beginning, when I could gel it back and it look really sleek (b4 the NG started fighting hard!) and when i got a blowout (which defeats the purpose of going natural in the long-run...might as well relax if I'm gonna keep blowing it out)
I have been experimenting with trying to keep it in check and today it has looked better than it has...So it is a struggle...And I admit, I have a relaxer sitting on my dresser, because I couldnt take it anymore...But today I think I can do it, and it surely has been an uphill battle. As a matter of fact, i don't even consider myself transitioning, I call what I am doing an extra-long stretch
In the end tho, we have to be ready to do it, because it is a lot of work! And if ur not ready to do that battle, lol, then we shouldnt feel obligated to.

 

[*ElleB]

Since coming to this site, natural hair in general has caught my interest. It is so beautiful to me.... BUT on other people who know how to deal with it. Stretching for me has allowed me to have a quick short look at my hair and I loved it, b/c I was paying close attention to it for the first time. I loved the spirals/zig-zags I saw AND felt.... it was so soothing. BUT when it was time to comb my hair into a ponytail or when it dried... I was VERY frustrated from the pain and breakage AND tangles (dreaded up!!). I won't even get into what I went through the last 'stretch'.

Anyway, this site has done wonders for me in terms of noticing natural hair, esp. type 4 hair and loving it. I am always in awe when I see someone in real life with natural hair. I want to be just like them b/c they make it look so easy and wonderful, but once I actually deal with my hair, the fairy tale quickly ends.

U took the words out of my mouth....

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Thank you JCoily, I agree with everything you said here except for the bolded part.

Awwwwwww that's soooo sweet Ignore me, aunt flow came for a visit so I'm extra 'motional.

Just to clarify though, when I read the title of the thread, it implied to me that going natural is bad in a 2 steps past unthinkable type of way to folks. I know when you read, you don't catch the 'tone of voice' things are said in, but at first glance, it's like

 

[KiSseS03]

OMG, u have expressed precisely what I've always wanted articulate to people and could quite find the right words!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!Goodness, I'm about to save this on my PC, do u mind??

I agree completely! Great Post So1913!

 

[blazingthru]

http://www.etaeproducts.com/about_us.htm

they have products that are great for natual hair. I had decided that natural just was never ever for me. I didnt' want to be called no jungle names but you know angela stone and jill scott and joan from girlfriends always blew my mind I was in love with their hair but I really didn't go after it until I found this site and seen all of you guys hair. I knew then and there that natural was for me espeically when I seen the young girls going after these natural styles I just had to get on the bandwagon. The link above is for products to soften and manage natural hair I heard it was the bomb I am going to go and pick some up today I think you can order on line but read about it and read the frequent questions. I had a lot of soul searching to do and I really have to learn to accept myself for who I really was and I wanted to see who I really was the way God made me and wanted me to be. I have very soft hair I always have had soft hair I am mixed but still thats from the grandparents both my parents are mixed but the only thing I got was some soft hair. I really dont' know what else my hair can do because I never did anything with it until now. Now I am getting it BC I have to I can't wait any longer and I have accepted the natural woman so there is no longer a need to transition. Good question

 

[so1913]

OMG, u have expressed precisely what I've always wanted articulate to people and could quite find the right words!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!Goodness, I'm about to save this on my PC, do u mind??

Sure, I don't mind. It's hard to express a thought when it's so complex and multi dimensional. I'm sure I could have said it better, but like you said, it's hard to find the right words while trying not to be misinterpreted or coming off the wrong way. For the record, yes I AM very pro-natural hair, but on the other hand, I am NOT anti-relaxer, other than for myself....if that makes any sense.

I am EXTREMELY pro HEALTHY hair, relaxed or natural, which is why I love this board. Wear your hair as you will, just PLEASE take care of it!


Hahah, yeah, I know I said I was done before, lol.