Who would never go natural?

[Candy_C]

DANG! She is allowed a PERSONAL opinion just liek everyone else on this site. If she feels that way about relaxed hair then its okay. I have to agree with her. Relaxed hair IS limper than natural hair otherwise what is the point of a relaxer? It relaxes the curl to stretch the hair and lengthen it. Thats happens on everybodys head whena RELAXER is applied. If it didnt make the hair limper then it would be bashed on here as not strong enough or underprocessed. Im not saying its limp and lifeless (because my relaxed hair wasnt Yall have seen my relaxed fro, limp is NOT the word to describe it ) BUT compared to my natural hair it IS limper. That meant the relaxer worked. Straight hair is limper than curled hair and definielt limper than coiled hair. Now as far as the lifeless comment, thats how she feels. You feel the opposite but I think we should all respect each others opinions even if you dont agree with them. If she feels negatively about relaxed hair then thats okay. Lets not jump on her for her opinions.....

Why do u think i explained myself at the bottom of my post?! Everything you've just said i haven't knocked, and I am too expressing MY opinion. i said she IS entitled to her opinion..i think you've just saw my post and thought i was instantly dissing her..without understanding what i said at all. 4get it i'm done anyway.

 

[so1913]

I'm just going to say this and then I'm out of this thread, LOL...

Everyone has their defenses up...first off, I could careless what other races do to there hair or why they do it, their culture and history isn't mine and that's all I have to say about that. A lot of people want to put the tag on relaxers as being simply just a style...ok, that's fine...I don't have a problem with people relaxing their hair, you do you. In the end, it IS a preference. The only issue I somewhat have is with people ignoring or discrediting why we even have this product called a relaxer in the first place (regarless of whether or not you decide to wear one) or when you mention it, bringing up what "other people do" to justify things. Relaxers were not created for managability, they were not created simply for "style" or because it was "trendy", they were created because we were made to hate our hair, hate who we are and hate our features. They were made because we wanted to loook more like our white counterparts with hopes of being more accepted, period. That is fact, that is history, and that is why we have the relaxer and this theme has carried through generation to generation as we see in some of the responses from relaxed heads in this very thread, even with many of us not being aware on conscious of it. Now if you want to put another spin on it, give it a new "modern day definition", cool, that's up to you, just please don't ignore, discredit, or belittle our history. History will NEVER be irrelevant. If you read the original advertisements and promotions for relaxer products from back in the day....I assure that many of you may feel some type of way. You can say "Well, that was a long time ago....that's not valid today! You read too much into things...it's not that serious"....that's cool too, it's your beliefs and thoughts, I'm not going to beat anyone up for that.

I just encourage you all to think about this...What if the relaxer never existed? Would we even have an issue with thinking that natural hair is unmanagable??? Would we have so many young people walking around with damaged unsightly heads of broken short hair? Would there even be this debate of natural vs. relaxed? Would people go around saying "Urrrgh, I need a touch up, my hair is too nappy!...She has good hair...I'd only wear my hair natural if it curled up like hers." I've even had a friend say to me "You are the kind of person black people hate because your hair curls up"....would we even have thoughts like these? Ok, maybe it's not worth thinking about these things because we do have the relaxer.

I swear I feel like I'm in a scene from School Daze "talkin' bout good or bad hair" when I come here and IRL sometimes, LOL.

In the end, it's all a matter of personal preference, regarldless of what factors the preference is based on, it's a personal decision. There is no need to get defensive on either side, and there is no need for either side to attack one another. Naturals, everyone is not going to give up relaxing their hair...that's a fact, it is what it is. There is enlightening and encouraging, and then there is belittling and bashing and we need to be careful about not crossing that line. The only thing I challenge everyone to do is to understand certain things, not to IGNORE them, blow them off, or "brush them under the rug". It seems like we value our history and "knowing where we come from" when it comes to stuff like the Civil Rights Movement, the "act" of slavery, famous blacks in history, etc. etc., but when it comes down to stuff like this hair thing, or the some of "slave mentality" regarding various things, as subtle or as much of an undercurrent it may be, we tend to look at it as "not important", not want to accept that history is why we do certain things. We get defensive when it's brought up and respond with something to the effect of "it's not that serious, can't it just be a style?" We as people do a lot of things as a result of habit...habits based on things that go back further than 24 hours, a week, or even 5 years ago. I HATE and despise the history of this product. All these things for ME have encouraged me to stay natural, although as much as it would make me happy if it did, they may not do the same for you, and to me, there's nothing wrong with that, but don't discredit it or lable it as insignificant. It does not bother me that people relax because I understand that whole thing...some of you say it's just a style, nothing more, nothing less...that's fine, but understand where the style came from and don't deny that, and then move on.

I say happy hair growing!

I'm out!

 

[CreoleInDC]

Yall funny.

No...really...funny.

*sigh*

 

[beyondcute]

Why do u think i explained myself at the bottom of my post?! Everything you've just said i haven't knocked, and I am too expressing MY opinion. i said she IS entitled to her opinion..i think you've just saw my post and thought i was instantly dissing her..without understanding what i said at all. 4get it i'm done anyway.

Im sorry if you feel like I attacked you but you were not the only one who commented on her post. I just clicked the nearest qoute button. My bad, I just wanted to steer the convo back on topic to individual opinions.

 

[Candy_C]

Im sorry if you feel like I attacked you but you were not the only one who commented on her post. I just clicked the nearest qoute button. My bad, I just wanted to steer the convo back on topic to individual opinions.

lol, nah its cool, i re-read what u said and wasn't offended. Your doing what we all doing and voicing yourself. no probs

 

[~Nigeria~]

Its just her opinion of relaxed hair. Thsi forum is not limited to women to love relaxed hair. Can we just respect her opinion and leave it at that?

And you are definitely entitled to yours. I was asking Curlee though.

 

[beyondcute]

And you are definitely entitled to yours. I was asking Curlee though.

Okay I give up. Ill never try to keep negativity off this board. I swear. I didnt know it was all geared towards people who are in love with relaxed hair. I hope you get your answer.....

 

[Southernbella.]

DANG! She is allowed a PERSONAL opinion just liek everyone else on this site. If she feels that way about relaxed hair then its okay. I have to agree with her. Relaxed hair IS limper than natural hair otherwise what is the point of a relaxer? It relaxes the curl to stretch the hair and lengthen it. Thats happens on everybodys head whena RELAXER is applied. If it didnt make the hair limper then it would be bashed on here as not strong enough or underprocessed. Im not saying its limp and lifeless (because my relaxed hair wasnt Yall have seen my relaxed fro, limp is NOT the word to describe it ) BUT compared to my natural hair it IS limper. That meant the relaxer worked. Straight hair is limper than curled hair and definielt limper than coiled hair. Now as far as the lifeless comment, thats how she feels. You feel the opposite but I think we should all respect each others opinions even if you dont agree with them. If she feels negatively about relaxed hair then thats okay. Lets not jump on her for her opinions.....

Would you feel that way I came in here and said, "In general, I find natural hair to be coarse, dry, nappy, and way too big." (For the record, I don't feel that way.) Or would I be chided for being a self-hater. I'm just curious.

I will definitely go natural in the future, but for now, I'm enjoying my shiny, bouncy, full-of-life relaxed hair!

ETA: Never mind, I see you're not coming back to the thread.

 

[~Nigeria~]

Okay I give up. Ill never try to keep negativity off this board. I swear. I didnt know it was all geared towards people who are in love with relaxed hair. I hope you get your answer.....

Okay I'm sorry I have to say something. My whole point was that it seemed like she always had something negative to say about relaxed hair. I believe we should encourage everyone and not put people down was my point. You seemed to be more concerned with everyone having there own opinion at the time. Now you seem to be concerned with keeping negativity of the board. So I'm confused now, are you Pro-opinion or Anti-negativity

 

[shiningstar84]

I completely AGREE!


But I must say, that this topic beaten more than bradangelina and beyonce threads. And I know, it will never go away.

so true

 

[CreoleInDC]

I think everyone should go bald with a stocking cap for protection from the elements.

By the way...on the unintentional humor meter...I give this post a big, fat 10! WHOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO! erplexed

 

[MizaniMami]

Somehow I KNEW this post was going to turn for the worst. When I first opened it I knew some people where going to get offended and that some were going to get defensive

I just can't believe some of the things I am reading from this thread.

 

[beyondcute]

Would you feel that way I came in here and said, "In general, I find natural hair to be coarse, dry, nappy, and way too big." (For the record, I don't feel that way.) Or would I be chided for being a self-hater. I'm just curious.

I will definitely go natural in the future, but for now, I'm enjoying my shiny, bouncy, full-of-life relaxed hair!

ETA: Never mind, I see you're not coming back to the thread.

I didnt say I wasnt coming back to the thread I said I was givign up on tryign to promote respect between posters. If you felt that way about natural hair then thats your opinion. I wouldnt call you a self hater because thats what you think.

Okay I'm sorry I have to say something. My whole point was that it seemed like she always had something negative to say about relaxed hair. I believe we should encourage everyone and not put people down was my point. You seemed to be more concerned with everyone having there own opinion at the time. Now you seem to be concerned with keeping negativity of the board. So I'm confused now, are you Pro-opinion or Anti-negativity

Dont apologize, what are you sorry for? Did she discourage anyone from relaxing thier hair? NO, she just stated her opinion of relaxed hair. Did she put anyone down? Did she call out YOUR name? No. She just described what she say relaxed hair as. As far as the negativity or the opnion I dont care anymore. I was primarily concerned with respect. She said what she said without calling out names or pointing at people. She didnt discourage anyone from relaxing. I dont agree with everythign in her post but it was her opinion. When you start calling people out in a thread rather than being tactful and adressing one person in a instant message thats when the negativity arises. It take a strong person to accept a persons opinion without pointing the finger. I see that respect isnt very big here so whatever. As far as your confusion I dont think it will start or end with this thread. Have a nice day

 

[so1913]

Somehow I KNEW this post was going to turn for the worst. When I first opened it I knew some people where going to get offended and that some were going to get defensive

I just can't believe some of the things I am reading from this thread.

No worries, it should be locked in no time.

 

[Poohbear]

I never even imagined going natural b4 LHCF,not b/c I hated my natural hair, but b/c it never even crossed my mind-- no biggie.

I got relaxed at 10 yrs old. and have never had to deal with my natural hair since. If i stretched, I didn't even notice my natural hair. i dunno.... I just ignored it. It was never an issue.

Since coming to this site, natural hair in general has caught my interest. It is so beautiful to me....

Hey! This was me before going natural!!! It never crossed my mind. My first relaxer was when I was around 10 or 11 years old as well. I don't remember my hair being natural. I didn't even notice my natural hair when I was relaxed. I just always thought "Hey, my roots are getting nappy, I need a relaxer." To me, I thought being relaxed was just a natural thing for black women to do. I thought all black women were relaxed! I also thought I had type 1 hair! Then I saw the light here at LHCF and Nappturality that natural hair is hair free of chemical relaxers.

After seeing all these beautiful heads of natural hair, I didn't see a reason why I was still relaxing. After natural hair caught my eye, I decided to give it a try. It took me three times to finally go natural. The first two times, I would stretch the amount of time between relaxers and then I gave in to relaxers. The third time, I was ready. I was determined to stay away from relaxers. And get this... all my life, I hated getting relaxers... I cringed before getting a touch-up because I know I would feel that burning and possibly get scars on my scalp. But I was so used to getting relaxer touch-ups, it was almost like a thing I was suppose to do when in reality, I did not have to keep doing this to my hair.

Returning back to your natural hair state is a mind transition as well as the physical hair transition. It took me a while with the mind transition because I still had some feelings about natural hair being ugly. But then I saw a deeper meaning to being natural... this is the hair I was born with, my God-given hair texture.

To clarify some things with transitioners.... you may be having a hard time because you're dealing with two hair textures... don't blame it on your nappy roots being the reason why you want to go back to relaxing. It's much easier to deal with natural hair by itself or relaxed hair by itself... not together.

And about what CurleeDST said... I agree that relaxed hair is limped and damaged, and I used to be relaxed! It's just a personal opinion. Try not to feel offended. If you really look at it, it's not really a negative comment per se. I see that some of you responded with how your relaxed hair is full of life and body and not damaged... that's because you can make your hair appear healthy... with products, hair styles, or even just having thick hair strands. Relaxers technically damage your hair's natural state to make it straighter. That's it. Some choose to use relaxers, some don't. She wasn't putting down anyone for relaxing their hair... she was talking about relaxed hair in general... not people who relax their hair.

About shrinkage... I love it and hate it at the same time! Mainly because I'm still obsessed with length but I know my hair will eventually be back long again. Plus, I overcome my strong obsession with hair length when I did the big chop. Look at all the phenomenal women here who started off with a twa and have long beautiful natural hair. With some naturals, hair will eventually stretch out some once it gains more length. It's not gonna be short and shrunk up forever. Plus, I think it's neat to stretch my hair to see the length instead of having it straightened out to always see the visible length.

And about hair being manageable, versatile, etc etc... this can go both ways for relaxed and natural hair. This should not be an excuse for not going natural.

About detangling... I find that detangling is an issue with both natural and relaxed hair. The longer your hair, whether relaxed or natural, the tougher. I find that my natural hair is best detangled under the shower of flowing water. And about not being able to comb natural hair dry... you actually can! It must be properly moisturized, lubricated, and stretched out beforehand. Of course it's easier to comb through relaxed hair because it's straighter. You just have to be more careful and take your time with natural hair.

And about the race issue... the straight hair vs. natural hair is an issue for all races... almost everyone has been conditioned to think that straight hair is better, appropriate, acceptable... or curls and waves are 'good hair'. It's not just a black thing.

That's all I have to say for right now...

 

[~Nigeria~]

I didnt say I wasnt coming back to the thread I said I was givign up on tryign to promote respect between posters. If you felt that way about natural hair then thats your opinion. I wouldnt call you a self hater because thats what you think.



Dont apologize, what are you sorry for? Did she discourage anyone from relaxing thier hair? NO, she just stated her opinion of relaxed hair. Did she put anyone down? Did she call out YOUR name? No. She just described what she say relaxed hair as. As far as the negativity or the opnion I dont care anymore. I was primarily concerned with respect. She said what she said without calling out names or pointing at people. She didnt discourage anyone from relaxing. I dont agree with everythign in her post but it was her opinion. When you start calling people out in a thread rather than being tactful and adressing one person in a instant message thats when the negativity arises. It take a strong person to accept a persons opinion without pointing the finger. I see that respect isnt very big here so whatever. As far as your confusion I dont think it will start or end with this thread. Have a nice day

Ooooh, 1 point for Beyondcute! How immature was that. Anyway, I was resonding to her comment so it's pretty obvious who I was talking about. It's all good though. You have a nice day to sweetheart!

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

I really hope that this thread does not get closed. I was really enjoying hearing everyone's opinion especially since I am confused myself about going natural. i have learned alot from the post I have read so far.

Can everyone just get along. DANG! Let's continue this thread in peace and keep the snide remarks to ourselves and if someone feels their sarcastic remarks just HAVE to be voiced, then send it in a PM. Let's keep the peace people so that we can continue to discuss like adults and with an open mind to all things. Thank you.

 

[Poohbear]

TWO THUMBS UP!!!
VERY WELL SAID! You spoke the truth here, so1913!

I'm just going to say this and then I'm out of this thread, LOL...

Everyone has their defenses up...first off, I could careless what other races do to there hair or why they do it, their culture and history isn't mine and that's all I have to say about that. A lot of people want to put the tag on relaxers as being simply just a style...ok, that's fine...I don't have a problem with people relaxing their hair, you do you. In the end, it IS a preference. The only issue I somewhat have is with people ignoring or discrediting why we even have this product called a relaxer in the first place (regarless of whether or not you decide to wear one) or when you mention it, bringing up what "other people do" to justify things. Relaxers were not created for managability, they were not created simply for "style" or because it was "trendy", they were created because we were made to hate our hair, hate who we are and hate our features. They were made because we wanted to loook more like our white counterparts with hopes of being more accepted, period. That is fact, that is history, and that is why we have the relaxer and this theme has carried through generation to generation as we see in some of the responses from relaxed heads in this very thread, even with many of us not being aware on conscious of it. Now if you want to put another spin on it, give it a new "modern day definition", cool, that's up to you, just please don't ignore, discredit, or belittle our history. History will NEVER be irrelevant. If you read the original advertisements and promotions for relaxer products from back in the day....I assure that many of you may feel some type of way. You can say "Well, that was a long time ago....that's not valid today! You read too much into things...it's not that serious"....that's cool too, it's your beliefs and thoughts, I'm not going to beat anyone up for that.

I just encourage you all to think about this...What if the relaxer never existed? Would we even have an issue with thinking that natural hair is unmanagable??? Would we have so many young people walking around with damaged unsightly heads of broken short hair? Would there even be this debate of natural vs. relaxed? Would people go around saying "Urrrgh, I need a touch up, my hair is too nappy!...She has good hair...I'd only wear my hair natural if it curled up like hers." I've even had a friend say to me "You are the kind of person black people hate because your hair curls up"....would we even have thoughts like these? Ok, maybe it's not worth thinking about these things because we do have the relaxer.

I swear I feel like I'm in a scene from School Daze "talkin' bout good or bad hair" when I come here and IRL sometimes, LOL.

In the end, it's all a matter of personal preference, regarldless of what factors the preference is based on, it's a personal decision. There is no need to get defensive on either side, and there is no need for either side to attack one another. Naturals, everyone is not going to give up relaxing their hair...that's a fact, it is what it is. There is enlightening and encouraging, and then there is belittling and bashing and we need to be careful about not crossing that line. The only thing I challenge everyone to do is to understand certain things, not to IGNORE them, blow them off, or "brush them under the rug". It seems like we value our history and "knowing where we come from" when it comes to stuff like the Civil Rights Movement, the "act" of slavery, famous blacks in history, etc. etc., but when it comes down to stuff like this hair thing, or the some of "slave mentality" regarding various things, as subtle or as much of an undercurrent it may be, we tend to look at it as "not important", not want to accept that history is why we do certain things. We get defensive when it's brought up and respond with something to the effect of "it's not that serious, can't it just be a style?" We as people do a lot of things as a result of habit...habits based on things that go back further than 24 hours, a week, or even 5 years ago. I HATE and despise the history of this product. All these things for ME have encouraged me to stay natural, although as much as it would make me happy if it did, they may not do the same for you, and to me, there's nothing wrong with that, but don't discredit it or lable it as insignificant. It does not bother me that people relax because I understand that whole thing...some of you say it's just a style, nothing more, nothing less...that's fine, but understand where the style came from and don't deny that, and then move on.

I say happy hair growing!

I'm out!

 

[beyondcute]

Now Im immature because you said yourself that you were confused? Okay. The name calling is immature, you should think about that. I have not attacked you only responed to your posts. Calling me immature is a step above and beyond. I simply repeated what you said about yourself I never attacked you a as person. Maybe you have some self esteem issues. You do realize that you called yourself confused right? I will have a nice day.

 

[CreoleInDC]

This thread is a perfect example of why I've been a member since Sept. '05 but haven't said anything up until the past week or so. Women! (Shaking my head.) Yall know yall need to stop. I saw this on Good Morning America day before yesterday and all of yall need to read it as it puts things in perspective.

Stop being so damn mean to each other about dumb ish. If you hair is natural or relaxed...love it and all of the problems associated with it. I've seen some jacked up natural heads as well as some jacked up relaxed heads. It's not the HAIR TYPE...it's the REGIMEN TYPE. Isn't that what you guys are here for? To develop healthy regimens for YOUR HAIR TYPE? GEEZ! And those of you with these lengthy back and forths...COME ON...I know yall have better things to do as it is business/school hours. *sigh* Read the dang article:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=1719552&page=1

 

[baglady215]

I change my mind everyday about whether or not to go natural again. Today I'm thinking relaxer. But I have a confession to make. I really don't see what the big deal is about natural vs relaxed (ducking as I wait for people to throw things). It's always been just a hairstyle, no different than a crop or long layers, jet black or bleached blond. It's about personal style. But I probably feel that way because the women in my family are all over the map w/ their hair. Some have been natural their entire life. Some have been natural for years (as adults) then relaxed ever since. Some stretch for 12 months between relaxers (didn't call it stretching tho) others touch-up every 6-8 weeks. Then there are the ones that yo-yo between natural and relaxed. I'm a yo-yo'er. Yeah, my mother still uses the term 'good hair' and if your fro is lumpy we laugh at you. The point is you get to have a "nappy" fro or relax your "good hair" and both are accepted equally. It's just a hairstyle with its own needs and advantages no stigmas attached. In grade school and college I heard people criticize other people's "nappy hair," but I thought the person making the comments had the problem not the chick rockin' her style. Can't we make it just a hairstyle and get mad at the people that try to exhault themselves or put down others baesd on it? It might catch on...

You won't get stoned from me. Your post sums up my feelings to the T. Your family sounds like my family... relaxed and natural and who cares. It is what it is. When I see hair, all I see is hair. No connotations, just hair. Good post.

To the OP... I would definitely go natural, and probably will in the future. I can't see myself relaxing forever.

 

[mscounselor]

This thread is a perfect example of why I've been a member since Sept. '05 but haven't said anything up until the past week or so. Women! (Shaking my head.) Yall know yall need to stop. I saw this on Good Morning America day before yesterday and all of yall need to read it as it puts things in perspective.

Stop being so damn mean to each other about dumb ish. If you hair is natural or relaxed...love it and all of the problems associated with it. I've seen some jacked up natural heads as well as some jacked up relaxed heads. It's not the HAIR TYPE...it's the REGIMEN TYPE. Isn't that what you guys are here for? To develop healthy regimens for YOUR HAIR TYPE? GEEZ! And those of you with these lengthy back and forths...COME ON...I know yall have better things to do as it is business/school hours. *sigh* Read the dang article:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=1719552&page=1

Thanks for posting this article. I agree...defenses can come out with certain posts.

 

[jaiku]

I am natural and I went natural 10 years ago after I just started college. During high school and college I had a relaxer with highlights cut into a cute pixie style. I was perfect hair girl. I would go to the salon every two weeks and wait hours on end to get it cut. On the off weeks I would spend most of Sunday washing, deep conditioning, wrapping and curling it. I would wake up early for my morning class just so I could recurl it everyday. I had to be fly because everyone was always complementing my hair. One day I realized I was putting way too much energy and I decided to go natural. After wearing braids for six months I had a cute little fro. Just about all my friends and family began asking when are you going to get a perm. Or why would you let you hair look like that. Most of the compliments I used to get about my hair stopped. I only got compliments from other naturals and white people. It just opened my eyes because I never felt negatively about my hair whether it was relaxed or natural and I was so surprised by the amount of self hate people still have regarding hair. I just think people should understand why they do the things that they do regardless if they are relaxed or natural. By the way I know I will relax again but I will probably go into my elderly years as a natural. The reason I know I will relax again is because it was never an issue of having to erase my naps to be accepted. For me it has always been just hair nothing more nothing less. I think a lot of times some people assume if you’re relaxed you suffer from self hatred. And if you are natural then you must be confident and secure in your beauty. Trust me I have met enough people on both sides to know that that isn’t always the case.

Oh on a funny note. When I moved to New York for school one of my roommates, she is White, just keep stealing peaks at my hair for the longest time. She would try to watch me “do” my hair. She finally told me how much she loved it and asked how did I get it that way. I was confused. I just told her that’s the way it grows out of my head. She was even more confused. She thought Black peoples hair grew out of their head relaxed and that I went through some special chemical process to get it natural textured.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Ooh Oooh Oooh I wanna say something before this gets locked!

1. Well maintained relaxed hair can look pretty.
2. Well maintained natural hair can look pretty.
3. The title of this thread is insulting to naturals.
4. Saying that All relaxed hair looks limp and lifeless is insulting to relaxed heads.
5. I've never understood the 'I'm natural so I don't run from water.' plug.
When it's raining, anybody with some sense will run from it because that water is polluted as hell. Pool water has clorine in it so I'd cover my natural hair up in it. And fish pee in the ocean so I'm not trying to let my hair absorb that either.
6. It's perfectly fine to remember our history, but we don't need to be so caught up in it that we forget that with each day we are making new history. Many relaxed and natural heads on this board are disproving myths about black hair and ALL ought to be applauded.

 

[Poohbear]

I am natural and I went natural 10 years ago after I just started college. During high school and college I had a relaxer with highlights cut into a cute pixie style. I was perfect hair girl. I would go to the salon every two weeks and wait hours on end to get it cut. On the off weeks I would spend most of Sunday washing, deep conditioning, wrapping and curling it. I would wake up early for my morning class just so I could recurl it everyday. I had to be fly because everyone was always complementing my hair. One day I realized I was putting way too much energy and I decided to go natural. After wearing braids for six months I had a cute little fro. Just about all my friends and family began asking when are you going to get a perm. Or why would you let you hair look like that. Most of the compliments I used to get about my hair stopped. I only got compliments from other naturals and white people. It just opened my eyes because I never felt negatively about my hair whether it was relaxed or natural and I was so surprised by the amount of self hate people still have regarding hair. I just think people should understand why they do the things that they do regardless if they are relaxed or natural. By the way I know I will relax again but I will probably go into my elderly years as a natural. The reason I know I will relax again is because it was never an issue of having to erase my naps to be accepted. For me it has always been just hair nothing more nothing less. I think a lot of times some people assume if you’re relaxed you suffer from self hatred. And if you are natural then you must be confident and secure in your beauty. Trust me I have met enough people on both sides to know that that isn’t always the case.

Oh on a funny note. When I moved to New York for school one of my roommates, she is White, just keep stealing peaks at my hair for the longest time. She would try to watch me “do” my hair. She finally told me how much she loved it and asked how did I get it that way. I was confused. I just told her that’s the way it grows out of my head. She was even more confused. She thought Black peoples hair grew out of their head relaxed and that I went through some special chemical process to get it natural textured.

I enjoyed reading your post!

When I went natural, I mainly got compliments from other naturals and white people too!

And about your White roomate... I used to think my hair grew out straight too! When my roots got nappy before getting a touch-up, it just looked like thicker, nappier, straight hair. But once I started stretching the time between touch-ups when I was relaxed, I started to noticed that my hair grew out in tiny spirally corkscrews in several places.

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

Oh on a funny note. When I moved to New York for school one of my roommates, she is White, just keep stealing peaks at my hair for the longest time. She would try to watch me “do” my hair. She finally told me how much she loved it and asked how did I get it that way. I was confused. I just told her that’s the way it grows out of my head. She was even more confused. She thought Black peoples hair grew out of their head relaxed and that I went through some special chemical process to get it natural textured.

That is kinda funny. But sad at the same time that black women even have other races confused about what is "natural"

 

[Crackers Phinn]

This thread is a perfect example of why I've been a member since Sept. '05 but haven't said anything up until the past week or so. Women! (Shaking my head.) Yall know yall need to stop. I saw this on Good Morning America day before yesterday and all of yall need to read it as it puts things in perspective.

Stop being so damn mean to each other about dumb ish. If you hair is natural or relaxed...love it and all of the problems associated with it. I've seen some jacked up natural heads as well as some jacked up relaxed heads. It's not the HAIR TYPE...it's the REGIMEN TYPE. Isn't that what you guys are here for? To develop healthy regimens for YOUR HAIR TYPE? GEEZ! And those of you with these lengthy back and forths...COME ON...I know yall have better things to do as it is business/school hours. *sigh* Read the dang article:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=1719552&page=1

Good article! But for real, you should get your $5.00 worth of posting on! I can already tell I want to hear what you have to say.

 

[~Nigeria~]

Now Im immature because you said yourself that you were confused? Okay. The name calling is immature, you should think about that. I have not attacked you only responed to your posts. Calling me immature is a step above and beyond. I simply repeated what you said about yourself I never attacked you a as person. Maybe you have some self esteem issues. You do realize that you called yourself confused right? I will have a nice day.

OK. End of discussion.

 

[MissYocairis]

I change my mind everyday about whether or not to go natural again. Today I'm thinking relaxer. But I have a confession to make. I really don't see what the big deal is about natural vs relaxed (ducking as I wait for people to throw things). It's always been just a hairstyle, no different than a crop or long layers, jet black or bleached blond. It's about personal style. But I probably feel that way because the women in my family are all over the map w/ their hair. Some have been natural their entire life. Some have been natural for years (as adults) then relaxed ever since. Some stretch for 12 months between relaxers (didn't call it stretching tho) others touch-up every 6-8 weeks. Then there are the ones that yo-yo between natural and relaxed. I'm a yo-yo'er. Yeah, my mother still uses the term 'good hair' and if your fro is lumpy we laugh at you. The point is you get to have a "nappy" fro or relax your "good hair" and both are accepted equally. It's just a hairstyle with its own needs and advantages no stigmas attached. In grade school and college I heard people criticize other people's "nappy hair," but I thought the person making the comments had the problem not the chick rockin' her style. Can't we make it just a hairstyle and get mad at the people that try to exhault themselves or put down others baesd on it? It might catch on...

I love these comments. I think both natural and relaxed styles are beautiful. I would go natural if I felt I knew how to do it right. I currently have no idea how to style natural hair. But, I love Sareca's comments. Why is it that when women of other races go chemically straight, noone accuses them of denying their own true selves? Most sisters on LHCF like the STYLING OPTIONS from relaxing or texturizing. Has nothing to do with identity and believe you me....you look at me and you will see a sista, whether I am in the 17th week of a stretch or a freshly relaxed head of flowing hair. The "IDENTITY" is never a question. These are all just styling options. The problem comes when a styling option makes you bald....which, as we all know....tends to happen a LOT for us but, thanks to LHCF....we are learning new ways to prevent this. PLUS...someone mentioned water being a natural's best friend but uh....water has become this relaxed-heads best friend also and I don't run from swimming, or rain either.

 

[sylver2]

I Can't Take it Anymore!!