Who else is in an IRL now?

Do you date interracially?

  • I'm an International Lover

    Votes: 184 63.7%

  • I've tried it but not my thing

    Votes: 16 5.5%

  • I haven't dabbled yet but I'd consider it

    Votes: 67 23.2%

  • I don't want to mess up my gene pool

    Votes: 22 7.6%
  • Total voters
    289
So what is it about a women that makes non-black men approach them. It is interesting to hear some women say that they neve get approached. Is it your location, a certain vibe you give off, the people you hang out with??? Just wondering...:perplexed
 
I am a little sad right now( as I read the lovely stories above). My DH is white and when we married in 2002 his father vowed to never speak to him again. He does not. I feel guilty sometimes. Does loving someone of another race means he has to choose?Sometimes I wish he chose his dad because I feel family is important. Other times I glad he choose me. Oh I just do not know...Sorry so long I guess I miss DH. He is away for a few days.
 
onelove08 said:
I am a little sad right now( as I read the lovely stories above). My DH is white and when we married in 2002 his father vowed to never speak to him again. He does not. I feel guilty sometimes. Does loving someone of another race means he has to choose?Sometimes I wish he chose his dad because I feel family is important. Other times I glad he choose me. Oh I just do not know...Sorry so long I guess I miss DH. He is away for a few days.
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I'm sorry to hear about our DH's father, this is a tough situation :ohwell:. However, it is extraordinarily selfish of his father to stop speaking. He's basically putting a wedge in his son's marriage on purpose and trying to force him to choose. Nobody should have to choose between a spouse and a parent, the decisions of adults should be respected even if disliked. Your DH chose what was best for him and his future when he chose you.. the best you can do for him and your children is maintain a loving relationship.

I will pray for your situation but please don't fall into guilt over your father-in-law's guerrilla tactics, that just means he's winning.
 
misstobz said:
So what is it about a women that makes non-black men approach them. It is interesting to hear some women say that they neve get approached. Is it your location, a certain vibe you give off, the people you hang out with??? Just wondering...:perplexed
Click to expand...

I'm not too sure myself but I think it may have something to do with the bolded. I live and work in predominately black areas of brooklyn.
When I hang out with my friends in the city, there is usually a mixed crowd, but I would still only get approached by black guys. Other races would look and smile, and I would smile back if interested; but they still wouldnt approach me. Even if they did say something thing to me...they would say it real fast and keep it moving..they would not Stop and Talk :nono:.

But I do notice that when I go out with my white friends, other races are more open to approaching me. I'm not sure how I should take that, I guess they figure that since I'm hanging out with ppl from a different race, I wouldn't mind dating someone from a different race.
 
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My husband is a "non-black" Latino. We've been together 10 years, married almost 8. I dated all races before marriage. Me likely the men-folk. LOL.
 
onelove08 said:
I am a little sad right now( as I read the lovely stories above). My DH is white and when we married in 2002 his father vowed to never speak to him again. He does not. I feel guilty sometimes. Does loving someone of another race means he has to choose?Sometimes I wish he chose his dad because I feel family is important. Other times I glad he choose me. Oh I just do not know...Sorry so long I guess I miss DH. He is away for a few days.
Click to expand...

Dont think about it like that. He didn't chose you over his dad per se. He choose himself. He chose his life, his happiness.

What I usually tell people is: yes, family is important, but the problem with letting someone influence you life that much is that at the end of the day, you have to live with the consequences. Not them. What happens if he "chose" his dad and his dad decides not to talk to him about something else? What happens when his father passes away?

I am sure he chose his own happiness which happens to be you.
 
misstobz said:
So what is it about a women that makes non-black men approach them. It is interesting to hear some women say that they neve get approached. Is it your location, a certain vibe you give off, the people you hang out with??? Just wondering...:perplexed
Click to expand...

For me personally, I've noticed that more non-black men started approaching me when I began wearing my natural hair.

Also, I guess I'm so "used" to IR dating, that when I go somewhere, I give non-black guys "the look" that I would give black guys as well, so they approach me. It's not a "come hither" look, but just an "Hey, I'm approachable and would like to talk to you," look. Maybe a shy smile goes along with it too.

I think too that if you go to a place where they are likely to be in abundance, that sends a sign that you're already comfortable (probably) with the idea of dating non-black men, so they'll approach.
 
Bunny77 said:
For me personally, I've noticed that more non-black men started approaching me when I began wearing my natural hair.

Also, I guess I'm so "used" to IR dating, that when I go somewhere, I give non-black guys "the look" that I would give black guys as well, so they approach me. It's not a "come hither" look, but just an "Hey, I'm approachable and would like to talk to you," look. Maybe a shy smile goes along with it too.

I think too that if you go to a place where they are likely to be in abundance, that sends a sign that you're already comfortable (probably) with the idea of dating non-black men, so they'll approach.
Click to expand...

More non-black approached you with natural hair huh? Interesting..well you know if I was a white guy wanting a black woman with long silky hair gosh I might as well stick with dating white women-lol. Yes you are right...location and apprachability(does such a word exist???) also count...
 
misstobz said:
More non-black approached you with natural hair huh? Interesting..well you know if I was a white guy wanting a black woman with long silky hair gosh I might as well stick with dating white women-lol. Yes you are right...location and apprachability(does such a word exist???) also count...
Click to expand...

The bold is my theory as well! BTW, not saying that pressed/relaxed women aren't attractive to non-black men, but I think the hair thing really is "our" issue and since they're already crossing the big bad racial line, I don't think they're really going to "rank" hair textures from good to bad or esteem one over the other! :)

Same with skin tone... most likely, black women are going to be darker than them anyway (unless we're talking about Indians, darker Hispanics, etc.), so they aren't going to think that a light-skinned black woman is more acceptable than a dark-skinned one or whatever...

Again, not saying that all of this is true for every non-black guy out there, but of the ones I've dated or whom I know who are open to dating black women, they don't express a preference for straight hair or light skin.


Oh, crazy story though... I went to a professional convention for BLACK folks in my field and there were like, two white guys at one of the convention parties. (They were representing their companies). Why did one of them make a bee-line right to ME? At a national BLACK people's convention! :lachen: I seriously must be sending out some major white boy radar or something!
 
my SO is an adopted korean, raised by a white family, but does recognize he's korean. we've been together nearly two years and i love him ridiculously. he calls me his black queen! i've dated outside of my race before, polish, ecuadorian, white, whatever, but he's really taught me a lot about color-blindness. even as a black woman who has an open mind about dating interracially, i still had some misgivings about compatibility. he's the first long-term non-black man i have dated, and let me tell you, it's very similar to my only other long-term relationship i've had with a black man.

i am blessed with the ability to find GOOD men, and i'm always the chick at the table when girlfriends sit around and bash their men that has NOTHING to say. he treats me like a queen, not that novelty "oh i gotta black girl" love, cuz he sure enough will tell me when my poo poo stinks. he's real, and i love that about him.

his parents are so excited to see me with him. they call a lot with 'i love yous' and 'when are you coming back to visits'. they don't care what color i am. we're just a good match.
 
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Basically I'm dating myself.

He's dating his job.

Except on random days when he sleeps over. He keeps saying that this is just temporary but its been going on for about 6 months now. I'm a needy person, but I can understand work issues...still we rarely ever see each other and if we do, he's always running late cause of work. He said I can't complain I have a key to his house, go there and wait--but who wants to do that ish? By the time he gets home, I'm always knocked out anyways.

Plus he's still friends with the jerk who I hate, even after he said they weren't going to be friends anymore. And I'm starting to think he will never leave Japan.

Other than that it's great. I love being in an IRL with a workaholic.:rolleyes:
 
from the outside looking in, i appear to be in an interacial relationship. hubby is half black half filipino. i am half italian, african american & native american. although a lot of people don't see african when they look at me, we are both black.
 
Well, Im half Jamaican half Polish/German and my dh is an Afghan of the Pashtun ethnic group, they are Muslims and also have an extremely harsh,strict culture and code of honor and his family dont like me much lol. His mother constantly urges him to drop me and marry his own kind :nono: She has even suggested he get an Afghan wife and keep me at the same time. She tells him he is "throwing his life away" with me. It doesnt even bother me anymore because I dont think she realizes shes saying anything wrong, their a culture of arranged marriages , often between cousins and people who dont know each other at all before the wedding day. I dont think she has an understanding of love or attraction before marriage, just the idea of "getting to love" your spouse once married..

Edit: I'm finished with my in laws. I don't know how a marriage can work without the support of inlaws but I have my own family and I don't consider my inlaws family. I'm at the end of the rope with them :nono:
 
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I've been in only ONE he was Italian (and only because we were really good friends before and remain good friends after)... he's a cool guy. I've been asked out by many different races though, European mostly, then South Asian (:lachen: they seem to love me), East Asian. They're all very nice, but I love my beautifully built richly melinated Caribbean men :grin:.
 
i'm not in one right now :-( but I'm a global dater. Equal opportunities for all lol

Summer is making me go crazy but I'm on a boy ban until I finish my studies

Glad to hear many LHCFers are in happy IRR
 
My DH was adopted and raised by two black parents but his birth mother was Italian and his father was Puerto Rican.
 
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