Anyone else dating an Pakistani/Indian???

[jamaraa]

I also remember hearing the news about an Indian man in Atlanta who put a hit out on his son's wife, because she was black. I don't remember the specifics of the story, though. Apparently, most of them think we're not good enough for them.

This story is true, but it happened in India not the States. (Thankfully it unraveled before anything happened to her! Her AMERICAN nationality/privilege probably saved her life.) Before you assume that this is solely about her being Black, unfortunately daughter-in-law murders are incredibly common in India-Pakistan for insurance purposes. Local women are almost always the victims.

 

[Filmatic]

Dated a couple. One did want the fun casual. I told him to go get a yt college girl to party with because I'm a lady. He was shamed and apologized profusely.

The other was a sweetie. He actually came from an island right outside of India. Cute and great hair.

They hit on me quite a bit. If I go in one of their stores they will give me free stuff. I've dated an Arabian too. He was hotness, built just right but I was focused on graduating and had to let him go.

I can't remember one stare. I don't think many cared where I was.

 

[jamaraa]

My experience with Indian guys haven't been great, but I'm glad other BW are having good experiences!

I've definitely been approached, but when I've given them a chance, it's been VERY clear that their interest is more "casual" and not serious... for all the people (in general) who say that WM only want BW for sex, I can't say it's been mine... but I HAVE had this experience often with Indian/Pakistani men.

That being said, I'd still be open to dating one, but he would need to introduce me to his family, NOT suggest "dates" at clubs/house parties, etc... not call me at 9 p.m., and ask if I want to "go out" right then, etc...

Some ME and Indo-Pak men are VERY attracted to BW in terms of looks. This is quite true! They are more open to curvy non stick skinny body types than some other men. If you've known many ME and Indo-Pakistani women, many aren't super skinny unless they are VERY young!

The biggest isue is family in my observation, esp if you don't share their religion. BW who share their religion get tons of drama, but ones that don't share the religion are w/ too many of their parents. Many men WILL NOT marry w/o their parent's consent. IOW, if you want a guy who DOES intro you to his family, set out to kiss cuz they get a major vote.

 

[jamaraa]

BM rarely marry Indo-Pak and ME women, but those that usually do are Muslims and they are considered quite religious. Many Blacks have a positive stereotype in Islam as being very religious and are admired/envied for it. Sometimes they are being sought out by very religious fathers for their daughters and sometimes their sons are encouraged to marry a very religious BW. It's rare, but it does happen.

 

[MissJ]

Well anti Black racism is everywhere folks , so don't be surprised when it happens to come from even non White minorities. erplexed

That said, Indo-Pak folks have a tendency to be VERY ethnic/language oriented and seek out people who are specifically from their ethnic/language group.

However IRs DO rarely happen, usually the man and a BW. Women are VERY discouraged to marry out to almost anyone, but certainly BM ain't happening. Generally these IRs happen among co-religionists...Muslims, to be exact. I would guestimate that most of these pairings are among Muslims (and perhaps Christians, but I've never seen this one personally) and rarely among Hindus, Sikhs, etc...

Interestingly enough w/in the Muslim community, some Blacks would NEVER consider an Indo-Pak because they are perceived as being less religious and too assimilationist.

That reminds me. My ex also had to convert to Hinduism in order to marry his Indian fiancee. He was Catholic, but for the majority of the time he was with me, he was running from his strict Catholic upbringing. I would imagine that he's soooooo far away from that now, given his behavior since our breakup. He's not into the religion thing, at all, especially not enough to convert to someone else's religion.

 

[MissJ]

^^^ @ that evil laughing smilie.

That's one of my favorite smilies, and I have to bring it back just for this. I was sitting there like a little angel listening to my ex spill his guts on the phone about his Indian heartbreak, but he didn't know that I was laughing like the devil.

It was so ironic, because he thought I was too low class for him, because I am a black American. He would say that he use to think I was raised like a white girl, but "now you've started acting black!" He would reference my "black attitude." I guess those Indians showed him who was low class.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I dated one briefly. It was fun and interesting but there wasn't much of a spark. We remain friends.

Would I date another Indian man? Probably not. The cultural differences are vast and unless he has a very American attitude towards dating and relationships, it is not going to happen.

 

[tecourt]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,372491,00.html

 

[MissJ]

Thanks, I knew that story was ATL-related.

 

[LunadeMiel]

Wow, 4 years is a very serious relationship for most people. Emotionally, it can be like mental marriage for some (not all) people.Were they considering (legal) marriage and the parental pressure was too much for them to take?

Was he the one who broke it off beceuse he didn't like the negativity focused on him, or did she?



ETA: the "amusing" but secretly quite sad reality is that many people raised in African (i.e. from Africa) cultures have an awful lots in common with people raised in South Asian cultures, for better for worse, the admirable cultural elements and the not so admirable ones. And yet these are the two sets of people who are most likely to have family and culture driving them away from each other, from both/all sides.

They ended up breaking up because she was cheating with a white. Her parents encouraged her to do this. She introduced him (the white guy) to her parents while she was still dating FH . Funny thing is, now she is trying HARD to get back in contact with him. Last I heard she thinks the worst of me and him

 

[Jas123]

I also remember hearing the news about an Indian man in Atlanta who put a hit out on his son's wife, because she was black. I don't remember the specifics of the story, though. Apparently, most of them think we're not good enough for them.

i saw the whole story on nbc... i was never attracted to them in the 1st place but this turned me completely off

 

[Spiffy]

i saw the whole story on nbc... i was never attracted to them in the 1st place but this turned me completely off

I saw this on msnbc too, but don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch.

I remember watching this story covered on an old Lifetime Network show that profiled this Indian/Desi spiritual leader who's mom actually picked her 'black' daughter in-law when she sneakily set them up; I thought that was so cute. I think he was of the Baha'i faith though.

I have dated a Sri Lankin guy briefly, . And it was just him that was wrong, I don't think he respected women period.

I have quite a bit of Indian/Desi/Pakistani friends who are attracted to black women but I don't think they would date one.

I had one friend tell me once he wished he could out of his arranged marriage so he could marry me. I told him arranged marriages aren't such a bad concept.

 

[YankeeCandle]

They ended up breaking up because she was cheating with a white. Her parents encouraged her to do this. She introduced him (the white guy) to her parents while she was still dating FH .

WTF? Oh, dear. Race wasn't even the worst of his troubles with her. erplexed I wonder what the white boyfriend thought of her. Can't imagine he knew...I hope.

 

[jamaraa]

Regarding the story about the attempted "hit" on the sistah..lemme say that one thing that puts me off Indo-Pak men specifically are how many brides are burned to death over dowry/insurance issues. This story is too way common for my tastes. I'm also not keen on the tactics used to keep women close to home in Pakistan.....rarely are there public toilets for women. erplexed

Every culture has it's drama, so just know it. Nothing wrong w/ many of these folks...many are lovely human beings, but the bad actors make what we deal w/ here child's play.

 

[hma128]

I live in a city where there are many Indians. I do get quite a bit of attention from them but a lot of it was purely sexual.

 

[Solti]

Nahh, whoever said an Indian man had his black daughter in-law killed was right, in Atlanta no less. I saw this years ago and I will NEVER forget this. I would never mess with a Pakistani/Indian. This is the story that Miss J and a few others were referencing. Its so sad.
http://www.ajc.com/music/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2008/06/14/contractkilling_0614.html

 

[jamaraa]

^^^ Geez, I must be thinking of another story, but it was based in India.

 

[Solti]

A African/Black American in India? Really? How many of us are over there I wonder?

 

[jamaraa]

A African/Black American in India? Really? How many of us are over there I wonder?

The story I'm thinking of was a Black American woman. I'll dig it up if I can. Seems as if it was in the Times of India.

There are more Africans in India than AAs, I think...don't quote me on that one tho!

 

[sylver2]

They are always hitting on me. im not really attracted to them.
my new doctor is a cutie though and i can tell he's feelin me a little..lol.
i get hit on by them wherever i go.

 

[blkgurl2008]

I dated a Indian guy from Canada for about 4 mos. last yr. I don't recall anybody going out of the way to stare at us. But he could pass for a mixed race person from the Caribbean (that's what I initially thought he was). He shaved his head.

He had a weird thing about making people guess what nationality he was.

That's great that you're at the meet the family stage. How's the interaction with the family so far? Those are the folks you need to worry about if anything.

His family here in Texas are sorta Americanized and have no problem with me. The culture difference is huge though. I noticed that when we go out and meet the fam's Pakistani friends my SO tells people that we are married. I asked him why and he told me that if they knew we were not yet married, they would look at me bad.

We recently went to a Pakistani function at a local University here in Texas and i was the only black women. EVERYONE was staring at me and him, mostly women. It was extrememly uncomfortable. LOL

 

[jamaraa]

^^^ Are they Muslims? If so, that's why he's pimpin' like he's married to ya!

Get him to "seal da deal" if you really want cuz he's clearly open to it.

Them chicks is jeliz of YOU, trust. Bump them! He's probably a real catch that some mamas been eyein' for their daughters!

 

[jamaraa]

They are always hitting on me. im not really attracted to them.
my new doctor is a cutie though and i can tell he's feelin me a little..lol.
i get hit on by them wherever i go.

sylver if Dr ain't married, try it. I hope nobody's put off all them cuz of a few bad actors.

 

[Briabiggles]

I am and he's wonderful!

 

[blkgurl2008]

^^^ Are they Muslims? If so, that's why he's pimpin' like he's married to ya!

Get him to "seal da deal" if you really want cuz he's clearly open to it.

Them chicks is jeliz of YOU, trust. Bump them! He's probably a real catch that some mamas been eyein' for their daughters!

In fact he is Muslim, and thats a reason why we have not gotten married. We've talked it over, I mean we've been together for 3 years but in the end I can't see myself marrying him. He says our children have to be muslim yet I disagree. There are other cultural differences that may impede us from getting married.

And those girl probably were jealous hahaha, he is extremely good looking and I was hanging on his arm alll night lol.

 

[Slave4Hair]

I dated a Persian guy once. He was gorgeous. I remember I used to run into him at the gym ALL the time in the weight room but we never spoke. Once when I was leaving I heard someone say "excuse me," I turned around and it was him ! I was so startled but so happy lol! He asked me for my number, we went out like 4 times, but that was it...I got back with my ex . Though he has since graduated and moved, he still texts me ever so often, he was cool.

 

[flower]

Thanks for the post I did not know that Indian/ Paki men were interested in BW. I saw an Indian guy last week, I would have considered dating.

Some of the post make me want to date one.

 

[cinnespice]

No...but I would like to. They look I might make my way over to Queens

I dunno about that. Some of them are cute. The one's in queens are west indian and east indian and i went out there to get some stuff for my friends wedding and they just all looked at us funny. And sometimes they will talk to you but never introduce to the family(personal and indirect experience). But then again all families are diffrent.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

http://blindianlove.com/ <---blog of a black woman married to an Indian man.

Now I said I wouldn't try another Indian guy, but there is one at the Uni who has shown interest in me. Sigh. I guess there is no harm in going on a date.

I didn't even consider Indian guys until they started asking me out. I still could not see myself considering anything serious with them.

I was lurking this predominately Indian message board, and a few of the guys talked about their attraction to black women. Not sure if it was beyond physical, but considering their age...that's where most men's minds are 24/7.

 

[Rastafarai]

I would definitely be open to dating Indian, though, I do have a preference for East Indians that were borned and raised in the Caribbean. There are a number of them living in Guyana, Trinidad and some in Jamaica.