When the Other Woman is Ugly

[zzirvingj]

Men mostly cheat because of how the other woman makes him feel, what she does for him and what her overall vibe is when they're together, not necessarily because of her level of pretty. If they gas his head up, turn him out in the bedroom, and make him feel like the head honcho that's what creates the appeal.

The mistress doesn't have to see his crustiness in the mornings, she doesn't have to wash his dirty draws, she doesn't have to deal with him leaving the toilet seat up or leaving a sprinkle after her tinkled. They don't have the real life marital stresses of bills, tuition, keeping a home up that would usually cause problems in a true relationship. She probably doesn't even cook for him. So it's very easy for there to be this fantasy life created with the other woman that makes it seem like she's much easier to be around and "more pleasant" then the wife.

I learned alot when Oprah had her episode where she sat down and spoke to a room full of cheaters of all walks of life and asked them why and the biggest common denominators was what I stated above about how the woman made them feel and lack of sex within the marriage. They told it all. It was eye opening.


Sent from my iPhone4 using LHCF

In regards to the bold, a guy friend of mine just recently told me the same thing

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I disagree with the posters that said that you never know when you have a cheater on your hands.

I actually am of the belief that most women see the writing on the wall and the red flags but ignore it for one reason or another.

 

[Renewed1]

Well, in regards of looks. I'm not an advocate of anyone cheating. But if you are going to cheat....PLEASE CHEAT UP!! I mean better looking, acting more money, etc.

Now, IMO, men cheat because they want to; it has nothing to do their wife. She can be doing everything under the sun and the guy will still cheat. Oppose to women, where we are more apt to cheat because we are not getting that emotional connection from our men.

 

[ThickHair]

I once heard one of my good friends remark that the "other woman" usually isn't as pretty as the wife.

That is her personal opinion though, not the man that is cheating. So her opinion is a non M F'in factor. I just love to say that.

 

[hzlcreativity]

I definitely agree that most women see the signs but choose to ignore them. It's like a mother who's child begins hitting her. Well kids don't go from angels to hitting you in the mouth, in a day.

There are always signs. And if you don't remove yourself (or give your child swift discipline), the situation is almost sure to grow...

 

[MD_Lady]

I said this in a thread not too long ago, but it was right before it got locked.

I know 2 people currently cheating on their SOs with each other (she's married, he has a live in GF) because their SOs aren't into the things that they're into sexually. Now, how much of this is true, IDK, but I was told that in both instances the SO pulled a bait and switch- basically saying what the other wanted to hear in order to get them. But plenty of people know upfront that they're not sexually compatible and proceed anyway.

THIS! I've ALWAYS been upfront about my likes, dislikes, and breakers. A guy friend called me "picky" and (in so many words) said I focused I too much on certain "activities". Well, guess who was CONSTANTLY battling their SO over sex and who rarely had/has complaints...

 

[shortycocoa]

I said this in a thread not too long ago, but it was right before it got locked.

which thread was this?

I know 2 people currently cheating on their SOs with each other (she's married, he has a live in GF) because their SOs aren't into the things that they're into sexually. Now, how much of this is true, IDK, but I was told that in both instances the SO pulled a bait and switch- basically saying what the other wanted to hear in order to get them. But plenty of people know upfront that they're not sexually compatible and proceed anyway.

this is so true!!!

 

[nathansgirl1908]

So two questions:

1) How do you know if a man is going to cheat (if you have no evidence that he cheated before)?

He's a man. That's your first clue. I know that sounds cynical and jaded, but the reality is that most men DO cheat. It may not always be a long drawn out affair, but most men do it. Even if it is just a fling.

2) Are you comfortable allowing your man around average to below-average looking women? If so, why?

Strange question. I don't think men have a propensity to cheat with ugly pr average women. In fact, I question whether anyone ever admits that the other woman is beautiful. Don't most people act like the other woman is a troll?

 

[fitnessmommy]

Well, in regards of looks. I'm not an advocate of anyone cheating. But if you are going to cheat....PLEASE CHEAT UP!! I mean better looking, acting more money, etc.

Now, IMO, men cheat because they want to; it has nothing to do their wife. She can be doing everything under the sun and the guy will still cheat. Oppose to women, where we are more apt to cheat because we are not getting that emotional connection from our men.

I don't think a man who is a cheater would usually cheat up. I think if he found himself able to do so he would leave the wife. If the new woman in the picture offered him BETTER than a selfish man would be out the door in a minute.

My opinion is that cheaters are selfish people who are only out for their own benefit. If they feel the wife is still their best option (financially, not wanting to pay alimony/child support, wife is prettier/classier to show off, social reasons etc) that is when they remain in the relationship. Otherwise, a cheater is usually just an unfaithful dog with no loyalty and will roam & leave.