What are some traits that characterize you as the youngest sibling?
- Thread starter Maracujá
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belletropjolie
New Member
Dang, NONE of this stuff applies to meBut I had a different situation with my older brother because of his mental illness. I'm much more like an older/only child in personality.
BEAUTYU2U do you have other siblings beside your brother? I think the family dynamics play a big role not just birth order. A last born with one sibling may have different traits than a last born of many siblings. I'm guessing your parents probably placed a lot of reliance in helping to care for your brother? In my case I'm the youngest of a bunch of kids, and I was my parents late in life child so they indulged me A LOT which probably exarcebated my last born tendencies.
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belletropjolie
New Member
@mixavalon would you mind sharing how yoi think being spoiled may have hindered you?
Holla
Well-Known Member
I'm surprised nobody mentioned the constant need to prove yourself. If any of your older siblings did well, you're expected to do just as well or better. At least that's how it goes in my family.
My elder sibiling is a boy so everything I did was a first because my family treats girls different from boys. That was hard to fight growing up when I wanted to be independent or do what was considered "boyish" things. I thank God that I have a boy cousin only five months younger than me...when he did things, I pointed out that if he could do it, I could too because I am older than him. It worked in a lot of situations, although not all.
This is me to a T! I am definitely unintentionally selfish and I am just NOW realizing it (although I've heard it many times, I always chalked it up to the people telling me as idiots or being equally selfish
). The rest of folks just put up with it and never said anything. I always got my parents undivided attention so I only cared about their opinion. I am also very confident. I used to think some of these things were bc of my quirky personality.....now I can blame it on my birth order.
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
When I was in my early twenties I dated someone who was in his late twenties. It's all starting to make sense now
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
No other siblings. I didn't have to care for him, he was bipolar not mentally challenged. But yes, I was the responsible one. I followed the rules and didn't require a lot of discipline lol.
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
Haven't dated but those are the men that hit on me the most.
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
YES to your last paragraph. I tell people stuff ALL THE TIME and they never believe me until it happens and then they say, "you said that was gonna happen. I should have listened to you."
I had a very dominant personality when I was younger (grade school) but the whole being called selfish and being guilted for everything I did kind of diminished that a bit.
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
That's my lifestory in a nutshell. This thread is putting so many thing in perspective, thanks for contributing ladies.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
My arch nemesis: the youngest child.
Youngest children are exactly what I don't want. I'd rather take any thing but a youngest child-even an only child. Regardless of age, IME, the youngest's birth order often creates limitations on their ability to
mature wnd evolve emotionally. As long as parents and older siblings are alive, they'll still be someone's baby, conseequently most youngests often remain emotional babies most of their lives.
I don't have the patience or tolerance for that bs. The emotional neediness and insecurity requires patience I don't have. Unfortanely, I attract youngest children like 4-year olds to candy. friends and relationshios. ALL THE DAMN TIME WITHOUT FAIL. Youngest seem to love me even though I hate them. It's like they have a radar tracking me down. Feel like I'm Magneto and youngest are electroc wire fences I can't get away from.
I need to figure out what it is about me that's attracting these people so I can stop it. lol It's probably because I can be a bit demanding and youngest tend to be naive people pleasers that are the easiest to control. I don't do drama (other people's). I also hate arguing and hate having to explain myself. I prefer low-maintence simplicity in my interpersonal relations: follow my instructions without asking a bunch of questions that I prob wont answer anyway loolol I think this is why I subconsciously have learned to identify and gravitate towards people/situations least likely to cause a power-struggle aka drama. Confident or not, by default of birth order youngest have never been a position of authority. As a result, tend to be immature ane naive about the concept of respect. acquring, maintaing and demanding respect is a struggle for youngest which in the end makes them impessionable in a way that often eventually accountability in others for poor decisions. Ask me how I know: both of my parents are yougest borns and I have two younger siblings. Guess who runs the show with most things revolving around her......and that's not always a good thing
....
Youngest children are exactly what I don't want. I'd rather take any thing but a youngest child-even an only child. Regardless of age, IME, the youngest's birth order often creates limitations on their ability to
mature wnd evolve emotionally. As long as parents and older siblings are alive, they'll still be someone's baby, conseequently most youngests often remain emotional babies most of their lives.
I don't have the patience or tolerance for that bs. The emotional neediness and insecurity requires patience I don't have. Unfortanely, I attract youngest children like 4-year olds to candy. friends and relationshios. ALL THE DAMN TIME WITHOUT FAIL. Youngest seem to love me even though I hate them. It's like they have a radar tracking me down. Feel like I'm Magneto and youngest are electroc wire fences I can't get away from.
I need to figure out what it is about me that's attracting these people so I can stop it. lol It's probably because I can be a bit demanding and youngest tend to be naive people pleasers that are the easiest to control.
I don't do drama (other people's). I also hate arguing and hate having to explain myself. I prefer low-maintence simplicity in my interpersonal relations: follow my instructions without asking a bunch of questions that I prob wont answer anyway loolol I think this is why I subconsciously have learned to identify and gravitate towards people/situations least likely to cause a power-struggle aka drama. Confident or not, by default of birth order youngest have never been a position of authority. As a result, tend to be immature ane naive about the concept of respect. acquring, maintaing and demanding respect is a struggle for youngest which in the end makes them impessionable in a way that often eventually accountability in others for poor decisions. Ask me how I know: both of my parents are yougest borns and I have two younger siblings. Guess who runs the show with most things revolving around her......and that's not always a good thing....
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barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Youngest are mostly likely to attract cheaters, abusers and control-freaks.
Then they cry about being an innocent victim attacked by a big mean bully for no reason..
.....then they find or create another person that's a carbon copy of the first. yet still act suprised when the same thing happens yet again. also for no reason or any thing involving them, the innocent victim....
Then they cry about being an innocent victim attacked by a big mean bully for no reason..
.....then they find or create another person that's a carbon copy of the first. yet still act suprised when the same thing happens yet again. also for no reason or any thing involving them, the innocent victim....
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Dang, NONE of this stuff applies to me
spoken just like a youngest child.
middles don't make those kinds of comments even when they hate their older sibling lol
youngest can't escape narcissism.
They love self-promotion, taking credit and patting themselves on back for themselves on the back for random thoughts/feelings they themselves decided. Nonetheless birth order is objective. Regardless of issues or how an individual may feel, the facts remain the same. When/how you were born is la permanent fact and an experienced reality for everyone--including parents. even in event of a sibling's early death, birth order never changes for one sibling to get bumped up replacing another. If you are your parents baby, you'll always be that to them and everyone else bc i ts simply truth and fact.
Kandi is a perfect example. Even though her brother died two decades ago when she was a teen, her relationship dynamic is with her mother remains typical of the baby only girl. Joyce would be the same with Kandi even if her brother were still alive. everything about Kandi is reflective of her birth order----her relationships, friendships, parenting and even her current and past career behavior. Cynthia, also a youngest, shares similar patterns in personality and behavior. Both women are seen and treated as babies by other---struggling to gain respect yet easily disrespected. Both always on a mission to prove something that will distinguish them as being their own confident woman even though they should have done that 50-11 year ago. Both are failing at it bc everyone else still sees them as the baby bc that's how they really act
while we're at it let's add youre beloved Tamar to the list too. Makes sense why stan and like her so much even though to most people she's annoying as #@&%.
eta: no shade, I've always assumed you were the youngest or an only child based on your font. My guess was right lol
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spoken just like a youngest child.
middles don't make those kinds of comments even when they hate their older sibling lol
youngest can't escape narcissism.
Nonetheless birth order is objective. Regardless of issues or how an individual may feel, the facts remain the same. When/how you were born is la permanent fact and an experienced reality for everyone--including parents. even in event of a sibling's early death, birth order never changes for one sibling to get bumped up replacing another. If you are your parents baby, you'll always be that to them and everyone else bc i ts simply truth and fact.
Kandi is a perfect example. Even though her brother died two decades ago when she was a teen, her relationship dynamic is with her mother remains typical of the baby only girl. Joyce would be the same with Kandi even if her brother were still alive. everything about Kandi is reflective of her birth order----her relationships, friendships, parenting and even her current and past career behavior. Cynthia, also a youngest, shares similar patterns in personality and behavior. Both women are seen and treated as babies by other---struggling to gain respect yet easily disrespected. Both always on a mission to prove something that will distinguish them as being their own confident woman even though they should have done that 50-11 year ago. Both are failing at it bc everyone else still sees them as the baby bc that's how they really act
while we're at it let's add youre beloved Tamar to the list too. Makes sense why stan and like her so much even though to most people she's annoying as #@&%.
eta: no shade, I've always assumed you were the youngest or an only child based on your font. My guess was right lol
girl if this ain't the truth!! ordinarily i would have just shrugged that off but after thinking about it for a moment, i have exclusively seen that and experienced that in relationships with people who are the youngest child. mad annoying and i have no patience for it. just happened the other day
can't stand that ish.... barbiesocialite
Why don't you tell us how you really feel?? Please don't hold back. LOL!!
On a serious note, I genuinely cannot identify with any of the traits that you have described, but this has been your experience so fair enough. But why do you continue to associate with such people??? Granted you can't totally avoid your own parents , but for friends etc why has this been a constant pattern? Are you an enabler perhaps??
Why don't you tell us how you really feel?? Please don't hold back. LOL!!
On a serious note, I genuinely cannot identify with any of the traits that you have described, but this has been your experience so fair enough. But why do you continue to associate with such people??? Granted you can't totally avoid your own parents , but for friends etc why has this been a constant pattern? Are you an enabler perhaps??
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
spoken just like a youngest child.
middles don't make those kinds of comments even when they hate their older sibling lol
youngest can't escape narcissism.
Nonetheless birth order is objective. Regardless of issues or how an individual may feel, the facts remain the same. When/how you were born is la permanent fact and an experienced reality for everyone--including parents. even in event of a sibling's early death, birth order never changes for one sibling to get bumped up replacing another. If you are your parents baby, you'll always be that to them and everyone else bc i ts simply truth and fact.
Kandi is a perfect example. Even though her brother died two decades ago when she was a teen, her relationship dynamic is with her mother remains typical of the baby only girl. Joyce would be the same with Kandi even if her brother were still alive. everything about Kandi is reflective of her birth order----her relationships, friendships, parenting and even her current and past career behavior. Cynthia, also a youngest, shares similar patterns in personality and behavior. Both women are seen and treated as babies by other---struggling to gain respect yet easily disrespected. Both always on a mission to prove something that will distinguish them as being their own confident woman even though they should have done that 50-11 year ago. Both are failing at it bc everyone else still sees them as the baby bc that's how they really act
while we're at it let's add youre beloved Tamar to the list too. Makes sense why stan and like her so much even though to most people she's annoying as #@&%.
eta: no shade, I've always assumed you were the youngest or an only child based on your font. My guess was right lol
Lmao. Your theories are always interesting but I have to say you're wrong. I don't think I have narcissistic traits nor does the spotlight always have to be on me. I'm pretty low key, low maintenance type. I've never struggled with confidence, I don't worry about how others perceive me (for the most part). And respect is something that's always been given to me .. it's just not an area I've ever had issues with.
I'm definitely not seen as the baby
My family depends on me ... more like a Towanda. It's quite natural cause my mother (middle) is also the dependable one. As for Tamar, I think I just "get" her, despite her being annoying. She reminds me of my mother I wonder if she's a Cancer too? Anyway, that's for another thread. And I'm my father's only so I think I probably "fit" the only category better.
newnyer
Well-Known Member
*Raises hand*
"Last hope" child here. I'm the baby girl, youngest of 2 brothers with a good age gap between us all. I used to get annoyed when people would assume I was spoiled or the "princess" just because of that. Truth is, my parents rode me alot harder than both my siblings because they took so long to grow up. So I grew up to be the responsible, reliable one in our family. I definitely have a carefree & nonchalant attitude with my friends, but I notice that with fam it's like a light switches on and I become Ms. Responsible. Sometimes it seeps out at work too. Even my parents will rely on me to "fix" things. But then they'll switch it up & treat me like the baby sometimes....I think it's cute. "Be sure to put your coat on tonight and don't stay out too late!". Lol...I'm a grown woman with big girl problems but I'm still their baby in their eyes.
I do like attention though. Lol
"Last hope" child here. I'm the baby girl, youngest of 2 brothers with a good age gap between us all. I used to get annoyed when people would assume I was spoiled or the "princess" just because of that. Truth is, my parents rode me alot harder than both my siblings because they took so long to grow up. So I grew up to be the responsible, reliable one in our family. I definitely have a carefree & nonchalant attitude with my friends, but I notice that with fam it's like a light switches on and I become Ms. Responsible. Sometimes it seeps out at work too. Even my parents will rely on me to "fix" things. But then they'll switch it up & treat me like the baby sometimes....I think it's cute. "Be sure to put your coat on tonight and don't stay out too late!". Lol...I'm a grown woman with big girl problems but I'm still their baby in their eyes.
I do like attention though. Lol
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barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
I'm not the enabler they are. lol SometimescI just want them to grow a brain, develop a real personality and acquire some substance and stop fallin for games all the damn time.,,...
I can be a control freak. I am the oldest child and grandchild. I'm used to being first in line and getting my way. One thing I've learned from my parents and younger relatives is the power/influence emotion, idealism and romantism plays in the younger child life that the oldest doesn't have. they are ever so optimistic and hopeful *whistling* I tend to capitalize off of that.
An oldest wouldn't put up with my shenanigans.
You can't get away with anything they won't let you get away with (even unbeknowst to the other party). All my friends, most exes and SO are youngest and onlies 
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barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Lmao. Your theories are always interesting but I have to say you're wrong. I don't think I have narcissistic traits nor does the spotlight always have to be on me. I'm pretty low key, low maintenance type. I've never struggled with confidence, I don't worry about how others perceive me (for the most part). And respect is something that's always been given to me .. it's just not an area I've ever had issues with.
I'm definitely not seen as the baby
I see.......
thanks for responding.
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
Do tell.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Info about the lost child syndrome and other dysfunctional roles:
http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/the-four-dysfunctional-family-roles
http://louisebehiel.com/the-third-role-the-lost-child/
http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/the-four-dysfunctional-family-roles
http://louisebehiel.com/the-third-role-the-lost-child/
hopeful
Well-Known Member
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Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
Thank you for posting it. Sorry I've been MIA since my last post but these are the resources I am finding too and I find it fascinating how they pretty much nailed it.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
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