What are some traits that characterize you as the youngest sibling?

[Maracujá]

It can be positive or negative. I'm the youngest of the bunch and since living alone I've noticed that I tend to be co-dependent (on my sisters) and constantly need approval for EVERY-THING, even the most mundane of things. It also comes through at work and it was actually brought to my attention during a seminar I went to last year. The seminar was on long lasting love relationships and the host said something to the effect of: It's important to pay attention to small things like 'is he the oldest/middle child/or youngest' when choosing a partner. I had never thought about that before.


So what about you? If you're the youngest of the bunch, how does that manifest itself and how has it impacted your life?

 

[aviddiva77]

I was called selfish throughout my childhood (cuz I was spoiled) so now I bend over backwards to please people usually to my own demise. But he my family wonders why I do it *side eye*

The last hope. If your older siblings screwed up, your parents will be on you to make something of yourself and make them proud etc.

I wish I could remember exactly l but child number has a hand in dating. I think its like a youngest child should date an oldest child. I learned (not too well apparently lol) about in social and personality development in college.

 

[Maracujá]

I was called selfish throughout my childhood (cuz I was spoiled) so now I bend over backwards to please people usually to my own demise. But he my family wonders why I do it *side eye*

The last hope. If your older siblings screwed up, your parents will be on you to make something of yourself and make them proud etc.

I wish I could remember exactly l but child number has a hand in dating. I think its like a youngest child should date an oldest child. I learned (not too well apparently lol) about in social and personality development in college.

Bingo! It's the same with me, I've become a people pleaser simply because I cannot bear to engrave another bad name about myself into my psyche.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

None that I'm aware of.

 

[Holla]

I notice that I do get along very well with eldest kids in relationships and friendships. They tend to look out for you in ways that middle/only kids do not. Even "eldest" friends who are younger than me tend to "mother" me by always checking up on me, calling constantly, sending gifts, etc. Sometimes it's annoying (like asking if I'm ok 50-11 times when I'm in the next room and out of their sight erplexed). But it's the same heightened level of concern they were taught to have with their younger siblings growing up. It becomes a characteristic of theirs that they then extend to everyone else. Conversely, I have to remind myself to be just as dotting to others because it does not come naturally nor was it expected of me growing up.

 

[LiftedUp]

I'm the older one and the above describes my brother. He is spoiled and I contribute to it so I can't always complain. But I wouldn't trade my brother for the world. It's great having a man that will do anything for you.

My mother is the oldest as well and again your post describe her youngest sibling. She calls her for everything and even randomly calls her to ask what she's cooking or what she thinks she should cook because she ran out of ideas

Though this is about the youngest lol but as the older one I'll admit I can be bossy and over mothering at times.

I prefer not to date men who were the middle or youngest child. Middle has indescribable issues, youngest I feel like I have 2 baby brothers and it can get taxing. I don't typically like to date the oldest (2 man rat cannot live in the same hole lol) but I will.

 

[DarkJoy]

My family dynamic was different, having an older sis that is disabled. So because she needed care growing up, I tend to act like an eldest.

In men, i tend to either attract youngest spoiled boys or onlies. I don't like either.

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*

 

[CaraWalker]

i dont know if i have any specific traits as the youngest child. i do get really really happy when i end up on a date with another youngest child though, which seems to happy pretty regulalrly. maybe thats my youngest child power

 

[CaraWalker]

I was called selfish throughout my childhood (cuz I was spoiled) so now I bend over backwards to please people usually to my own demise. But he my family wonders why I do it *side eye* The last hope. If your older siblings screwed up, your parents will be on you to make something of yourself and make them proud etc. I wish I could remember exactly l but child number has a hand in dating. I think its like a youngest child should date an oldest child. I learned (not too well apparently lol) about in social and personality development in college.

interesting. last two boyfriends were eldest siblings :scratchch i didnt like when they got dad-ish though, to be honest.

 

[SophieDulce]

........................sorry op I didn't fully read you were asking about youngest children.I can say my youngest brother is very dependent on people, goes for independent type of women. Expects for my and other brothers to always have the answers.

 

[greight]

I can't really the answer the OP... But...

I'm the oldest and I've ALWAYS, without fail, attracted the youngest in the family. Even friends! And 90% of the time, they have an older sister. It's absolutely crazy. The could be black, asian, white.

It's the only thing consistent with the men that I've dated.

 

[myhairgrowstoo]

I'm the youngest, my boyfriend is the oldest. I'm co-dependent, although I try not to be, but when I'm with an "oldest" type they usually take care of me. As a kid my older siblings took care of me. I like dating an oldest lol

 

[MrsMe]

I'm surprised nobody mentioned the constant need to prove yourself. If any of your older siblings did well, you're expected to do just as well or better. At least that's how it goes in my family. Nothing I do is a first and it's so annoying to be compared to other people!

DH is a first -born and he's definitely my rock. However, I'm a very independent last child. I don't like to be offered unsolicited help and only feel comfortable asking a handful of people for help. I like to do it all myself.

I generally don't get along with first-born women because they try to tell me what to do or belittle me based on my "lack of experience".

Sent from my phone...typos and autocorrect galore

 

[MizAvalon]

I'm the youngest and was spoiled growing up. It has hindered me in adulthood.

FH is an oldest and very much a leader.

Him being a firstborn and me being a lastborn has been very complimentary to our relationship though. We both fill needs in each other.

 

[Prettymetty]

Its difficult to pinpoint birth order in a blended family. I was the oldest in my mothers home, but middle at my dad's. It was known to my siblings that I was the favorite. I dont know why, but my daddy loves me the most. I appreciate that, because it taught me not to accept just anybody. I have high standards and self respect. Men know that so they treat me "like a goddess".

Dh also comes from a blended family. Hes the oldest surviving child from his mother and the middle child from his dad. Ive never really dated the youngest of any family. I always end up with someone just like me (oldest/middle)

 

[FlowerHair]

I am the youngest of four siblings. I think it made me grow up much later than my older siblings, I was treated and acted like I was 10-15 years younger than I was for a long time.

I can't say that I'm on the same level as most 43 year-olds even now! I'm close, though.

I have mostly had relationships with oldest or only children.

 

[Begoody]

I am really suprised to read of so many saying they are co-dependent and people-pleasers due to being the last born. I thought the youngest usually had stronger personalities to ensure they got heard?
A major downside of being "the baby" is that I can be unintentionally selfish. I always expect that I will get my way in ANY given situation, I can't fathom "No", it's not a word I am used to hearing. This caused me a few problems in the early years of marriage.I soon learned that there are some things that smiling sweetly or giving animated speeches will not work for!!
On the plus side, I am the confidant and peace-broker of the family.

 

[RoseTintedCheeks]

I'm the youngest as well, and the things being said in this thread are spot on.

 

[daydreem2876]

I am the oldest of two but we are only 15 months apart. So I never really got the chance to be a mothering figure to her until about now as we enter our late 30's. My sister is definitely the more outgoing and bossy of us, and is definitely my mother hen. I have ADHD and she has always been my buffer/protector. I struggled with some things in my 20's that she is just now working through, she needs my to help her talk it through. so she never really got a chance to develop any co-dependent needy behavior with me because we were both pretty much at them same phase in our lives,

I also attract the baby boy, the youngest boy or the only boy. What I am finding is that they are used to women fawning all over them all the time, that just not me. To be fair, I do need to be better about paying attention to a man's needs (matter of fact, I haven't txt him in a week ). However, they do fail to realize I am not their mother and have no desire to be.

 

[Fine 4s]

I'm an only...I can't play with you all

 

[CaraWalker]

I am really suprised to read of so many saying they are co-dependent and people-pleasers due to being the last born. I thought the youngest usually had stronger personalities to ensure they got heard?

both these are true for me - im not a people pleaser, and i have a dominant personality.

the one thing i can say, if it is a trait for youngest borns, is that i always feel like my opinions are easily dismissed or not taken seriously. i am probably annoyingly insistent because no matter how right i am, i expect to be discounted. i feel like nobody ever believes anything i say.

 

[Maracujá]

both these are true for me - im not a people pleaser, and i have a dominant personality.

the one thing i can say, if it is a trait for youngest borns, is that i always feel like my opinions are easily dismissed or not taken seriously. i am probably annoyingly insistent because no matter how right i am, i expect to be discounted. i feel like nobody ever believes anything i say.

I experienced this more when I was a child, I think I've gained some cred since showcasing some responsibility.

As for the other ladies that have shared their experiences: thank you very much, glad I'm not alone in this .

 

[tyrablu]

Youngest tend to be selfish. I can attest to that.

 

[hopeful]

I'm an only...I can't play with you all

Aww.

I am the oldest, as is dh, and that can be a challenge at times . I have found youngest to be fun and more easy-going. But they do tend to be selfish and have a hard time taking the lead. I used to attract youngest female friends as my mom is the youngest and I guess I was used to that dynamic. But I grew tired of always taking the lead or having someone not want to listen to or comfort me. I need reciprocity, fairness. I think whether you are the youngest, oldest, middle, or only you have to be willing to accept that you have weaknesses that may need some strengthening or fine-tuning. Everyone has some type of issue.

 

[Maracujá]

Aww.

I am the oldest, as is dh, and that can be a challenge at times . I have found youngest to be fun and more easy-going. But they do tend to be selfish and have a hard time taking the lead. I used to attract youngest female friends as my mom is the youngest and I guess I was used to that dynamic. But I grew tired of always taking the lead or having someone not want to listen to or comfort me. I need reciprocity, fairness. I think whether you are the youngest, oldest, middle, or only you have to be willing to accept that you have weaknesses that may need some strengthening or fine-tuning. Everyone has some type of issue.

That has been my biggest hurdle in my professional life; I have no idea how to remedy it though.

 

[hopeful]

That has been my biggest hurdle in my professional life; I have no idea how to remedy it though.

I would suggest two things: baby steps and journaling. Pick something small at work to take on (baby step), and as you work through whatever the project is write about how you are feeling (journaling), ask yourself gently, "Why am I afraid of taking on this task? What gives?" Whatever the answer is be gentle but firm with yourself, tell yourself well I believe in me, let's give this small thing a try. Rinse and repeat.

 

[Aviah]

I think being the younger of two has made me more of a dreamer, more creative, I don't always finish what I start... But at the same time I spent about half my childhood with my older sister. In some ways I act like an only- very independent, I've been told that I come across older than I am, and like doing things my way.

My SO is a middle, but seems more like the eldest of his family.

 

[Maracujá]

I think being the younger of two has made me more of a dreamer, more creative, I don't always finish what I start... But at the same time I spent about half my childhood with my older sister. In some ways I act like an only- very independent, I've been told that I come across older than I am, and like doing things my way.

My SO is a middle, but seems more like the eldest of his family.

What's really good with that?! I'm the same way lol

 

[BGT]

I can't really the answer the OP... But...

I'm the oldest and I've ALWAYS, without fail, attracted the youngest in the family. Even friends! And 90% of the time, they have an older sister. It's absolutely crazy. The could be black, asian, white.

It's the only thing consistent with the men that I've dated.

I am the complete opposite; I am the youngest with four older brothers and always seem drawn to big brothers with little sisters, and they are drawn to me! I think I give off the need to be taken care of, and guys who have little sisters are drawn to that. Those guys tend to be protective, are aggressive and take the lead.

 

[belletropjolie]

You guys are scary with how accurately some of these stories describe me.

I'm the youngest and My siblings are much older than me so in some cases I have an almost quasi parental relationship with some of them.

I have a tendency to be extremely self absorbed and selfish and I have to fight this.

The other thing is I just assume that "someone" will take care of things for me...hence I have a hard time completing projects. For example when I was younger I would eat and leave the table without clearing my plates, just up and leave the table lol.

In terms of relationships most of the men I've dated are 10+ years older. My friends kid me that I'm not looking for a daddy figure not an SO. Do any other lastborns notice you tend to date much older men?