Went out with the Asian Guy & I'm shocked

[song_of_serenity]

I'm all for interacial dating, but sounds like he was just trying to get his chocolate fantasy on.
I would'nt date him again.

Pretty much. A drunk mind reveals a sober heart. When you're drunk, inhibitions go out of the window and you're free to say what you REALLY wanna! He admitted he's been lusting after you and the fact that he kissed you out of the blue showed that it was directly on his mind and perhaps part of his plan.

I'm not saying DON'T give him another chance. That's up to you and what your heart tells you. But please be careful. A lot of people associate certain things to certain races, but believe me, Asian guys will try it JUST as much as any guy. Experience has shown me that some Asian guys may not be quick to introduce you to the family but they will try. If a guy has sex on his mind, race aside, he'll aim for it. I wish you experience was better. Some men.

HOWEVER...I am glad the experience opened the door to allow you to give ALL men a chance.
~*Janelle~*

 

[bermudabeauty]

Did you telll not to call you at 3am?

I sent him a text message and told him that it wasn't cool to call me that llate. I asked what was wrong with him. He sent me a text back and said he was sorry and said he couldn't sleep until he made it right with me. I told him I'll talk with him when I was ready but asked him not to call me that late anymore.

 

[SisterGirl*]

Pretty much. A drunk mind reveals a sober heart. When you're drunk, inhibitions go out of the window and you're free to say what you REALLY wanna! He admitted he's been lusting after you and the fact that he kissed you out of the blue showed that it was directly on his mind and perhaps part of his plan.

I'm not saying DON'T give him another chance. That's up to you and what your heart tells you. But please be careful. A lot of people associate certain things to certain races, but believe me, Asian guys will try it JUST as much as any guy. Experience has shown me that some Asian guys may not be quick to introduce you to the family but they will try. If a guy has sex on his mind, race aside, he'll aim for it. I wish you experience was better. Some men.

HOWEVER...I am glad the experience opened the door to allow you to give ALL men a chance.
~*Janelle~*

This tells me that they were only looking for one thing and nothing long term...good enough to play the role of short term girlfriend, but ashamed to bring black women home to the family. I tired of our men and men of other races looking at black women in particular as sex objects because of our blessed figures.

 

[sunnydaze]

Not to make this about race..but if the situation was the same and it happened with a black guy that you were attracted to...would you go out with him again? If yes, then give this guy another chance..if no, then keep it moving.

My reason for throwing that out there is simply to say..behavior that you find acceptable or unacceptable shouldn't vary according to race.

 

[lovely008]

Not to make this about race..but if the situation was the same and it happened with a black guy that you were attracted to...would you go out with him again? If yes, then give this guy another chance..if no, then keep it moving.
My reason for throwing that out there is simply to say..behavior that you find acceptable or unacceptable shouldn't vary according to race.

Agreed with everything! You said you've known him for awhile and it seems now he is showing his true colors, how much can a person blame on Saki? He wasn't drinking Saki when he kept blowing up your phone and called at 3 in the morning!

 

[DragonPearl]

i am the same way. calls at unacceptable hours usually hints at someone who doesn't know boundaries, lacks in manners and will probably turn out to be really clingy (IMHO, obviously!). if i were in your situation, i wouldn't go on another date.

ITA. Cut the dude off.

 

[DragonPearl]

Not to make this about race..but if the situation was the same and it happened with a black guy that you were attracted to...would you go out with him again? If yes, then give this guy another chance..if no, then keep it moving.

My reason for throwing that out there is simply to say..behavior that you find acceptable or unacceptable shouldn't vary according to race.

I agree, and this is not about race for me.

I wouldn't give him another chance regardless of what color he was, unless I was looking for a purely sexual relationship.

 

[holland]

Trust your gut on this one. I would be deeply offended if anyone made sexual references on a first date. Call me a prude but oh well. I say stand your ground. Sake or not, he blew it.

 

[Desert Skye]

Glad you went out and explored your options. But me personally, I wouldn't go out with him again. He'll think he can do it again and get away with it. Men only do what we allow them to do. However, since he blowin u up, I would make him wait .....I would stretch him out like I do my relaxers....a Looooong a$$ time!!! See, that alcohol is that truth serum, and he spoke the truth...... Like I said in my other thread to you...at the end of the day, whether he's asian, black, white, he is still what? A MAN....

Ok ITA!

OP if you dont feel he deserves another chance, don't do it. You know how he made you feel not us, so listen to your guts girl. There are just too many choices out there.

If it were me, he would have gotten a big ol' REJECTED sticker. Yeah I might talk to him as a friend but that would be it. But that is just me. Because he shouldnt be getting so comfy with me on a first date like that.

 

[MizAvalon]

Trust your gut on this one. I would be deeply offended if anyone made sexual references on a first date. Call me a prude but oh well. I say stand your ground. Sake or not, he blew it.

Same here. I can't believe that people are telling you to give this guy another shot. He has already shown you that he is rude and inappropriate, give him another chance for what?erplexed

When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.

 

[Cinda2503]

Same here. I can't believe that people are telling you to give this guy another shot. He has already shown you that he is rude and inappropriate, give him another chance for what?erplexed

When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.[/quote]

ITA with the bolded. On the 1st date you should:

1. Be on your best behavior (he was not)
2. not get that damn drunk. sake or no sake

Forget him!

 

[Misseyl]

Not to make this about race..but if the situation was the same and it happened with a black guy that you were attracted to...would you go out with him again? If yes, then give this guy another chance..if no, then keep it moving.

My reason for throwing that out there is simply to say..behavior that you find acceptable or unacceptable shouldn't vary according to race.

Good point Sunny..

This was a first date where he should be trying to get a second.. He was out of line..But like Sunny says if he wasn't Asian would it matter??

 

[firecracker]

He's a jackazz. Please don't give him another chance. A drunk tongue speaks a sober mind. Nasty **** telling you he had sexual chocolate fantasies on the first date. Simply unbelievable!

 

[chicacanella]

How would you feel if a brotha or black man did this? Would you give him another chance...if not, do the same thing with this guy. No one gets any special treatment or an affirmative action dating privelege pass.

 

[bermudabeauty]

How would you feel if a brotha or black man did this? Would you give him another chance...if not, do the same thing with this guy. No one gets any special treatment or an affirmative action dating privelege pass.

Affirmative Action dating privledges. That is funny. I have decided to stick with my mind and not date him again. We can just be casual acquaintances like we have been for some years. Which equates to hi how you doing bye relationship.

 

[MD_Lady]

I'm attracted to him and when I was with him, I admit I forgot that he wasn't a brotha. I didn't see color anymore. Which to be honest I was surprised at. But I am not a fan of aggressive guys...it makes me nervous. and him calling me on a work night at 3:00AM??? I don't know. Wisdom tells me its a wrap.

IME, people can genuinely regret the things they say/do while under the influence because it's not an accurate reflection of their character (not just because they got caught ). That aside, I do think you should follow your gut as long as his being Asian isn't a factor (for better or worse) in your final decision.

 

[Country gal]

Affirmative Action dating privledges. That is funny. I have decided to stick with my mind and not date him again. We can just be casual acquaintances like we have been for some years. Which equates to hi how you doing bye relationship.

Keep us posted. I am really curious how this will turn out.

 

[MissJ]

Glad you went out and explored your options. But me personally, I wouldn't go out with him again. He'll think he can do it again and get away with it. Men only do what we allow them to do. However, since he blowin u up, I would make him wait .....I would stretch him out like I do my relaxers....a Looooong a$$ time!!! See, that alcohol is that truth serum, and he spoke the truth...... Like I said in my other thread to you...at the end of the day, whether he's asian, black, white, he is still what? A MAN....

I agree with this. And what is Saki?

 

[gmw]

I agree! I have a friend who has always been respectful of me and is officially the nicest guy ever. We went out drinking and he got touchy-feely. I told him about himself the following day and he never drank around me again.

See I that is key! You told him and he straightened his act up.

However 3am? Man I don't know... I am pulling for him, but I would put him on the back burner with the eye off... and just watch him for a while... If he is really interested he will straighten up his approach and follow through.....

I can't stand men who call me all time of the DAMN DAY!! Ish pisses me off! Like nobodys business.

All that said, something about what you said, tells me he is good guy, just an idiot at times... If you decide to give him another try, put some time between the two of you, and only go out with him again if your inner voice is ok with it.

 

[MissJ]

He's a jackazz. Please don't give him another chance. A drunk tongue speaks a sober mind. Nasty **** telling you he had sexual chocolate fantasies on the first date. Simply unbelievable!

He probably has a porn collection, too.

In all honesty, it sounds like he wanted "experiment" with you, OP.

 

[lexi08]

I sent him a text message and told him that it wasn't cool to call me that llate. I asked what was wrong with him. He sent me a text back and said he was sorry and said he couldn't sleep until he made it right with me. I told him I'll talk with him when I was ready but asked him not to call me that late anymore.

Honestly you should not have to tell him not to call you at 3am. Don't give him another chance I am really surprised at suggestions to give this guy another chance

 

[blkbeauty]

I'm attracted to him and when I was with him, I admit I forgot that he wasn't a brotha. I didn't see color anymore. Which to be honest I was surprised at. But I am not a fan of aggressive guys...it makes me nervous. and him calling me on a work night at 3:00AM??? I don't know. Wisdom tells me its a wrap.

Funny story and brings back memories of the first date with my SO, he is Irish American and was just my neighbor. When he was my neighbor I thought he was sooooo innocent and well, gentle. One Friday night as I was walking into my house, he invited me over to "neighbor night" and I found out that my quiet neighbor, sweet, innocent neighbor had the hots for me for about a year. That night he said a mouthful and his eyes was glued to my arse. lol

Its funny, because I was initially turned off and he was extremely embarrassed. He apologized, but by being next door neighbors I couldn't excape him so I heard him out. I discovered that this was his first time dating a black woman and he was extremely nervous and did not know how to charm me. Through many months of conversation I understand when a person lack certain exposure they are either nervous or they are dumbfounded or both.

If he seem to be a "nice" guy, give him a second chance. Talk to him jokingly, but honestly about his gestures.

 

[blkbeauty]

I'm attracted to him and when I was with him, I admit I forgot that he wasn't a brotha. I didn't see color anymore. Which to be honest I was surprised at. But I am not a fan of aggressive guys...it makes me nervous. and him calling me on a work night at 3:00AM??? I don't know. Wisdom tells me its a wrap.

See I that is key! You told him and he straightened his act up.

However 3am? Man I don't know... I am pulling for him, but I would put him on the back burner with the eye off... and just watch him for a while... If he is really interested he will straighten up his approach and follow through.....

I can't stand men who call me all time of the DAMN DAY!! Ish pisses me off! Like nobodys business.

All that said, something about what you said, tells me he is good guy, just an idiot at times... If you decide to give him another try, put some time between the two of you, and only go out with him again if your inner voice is ok with it.

ITA! He seem to be a nice guy...but anxious and very well with expressing himself...lol

I think the call at 3am was probably him being scared that he blew it when he probably thought he tried sooo hard. Tbh, I have went on some dates with men who were "squeaky clean". Men who were nothing but gentlemen, who said the right things at the right times. They were prince charming, but about a month later they were charming other women. Watch out for the ones who are too good to be true, they usually aren't. Atleast with the Asian guy, whether he is nervous or not seem to be truthful.

 

[SelahOco]

We went out, had a cool time at the Asian Restaurant laughing and having good conversation. I felt a litle uncomfortable because people were staring and the Asian servers were being rude to me and talking in their language, knowing I don't know what the hell they're saying. But he checked them for that, which I liked. But....he must have had too much Saki in his system because he started going on and on about my booty, telling me he had these fantasys about me since he met me a few years ago. I brushed it off as flattery But when he started to get touchy and kissed me out of nowhere....I had to cut the night short. He called me 8 times the next day to apologize for his behavior. He even called me a gang of times last night up to 3:00AM! All his messages asked for a second chance. I think he blew it. But I am proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and trying to have new experiences with someone of a different culture. I am shocked though at his behavior since he was always so respectful and nice to me.....but oh well another one bites the dust.

I went on a date with a Romainian man once. He was very attractive. But an hour into the date he was very touchy feeling, and asked him to take me home. One the way home he asked me if I was a virgin and I said yes (at the time I was and I was about 23). He promptly explained to me that no one would ever marry me if I didn't put out and that he thought all American women were "*****es" meaning "hoes."

Needless to say I never saw him again, and I was married a year later

 

[prettykinks]

I went on a date with a Romainian man once. He was very attractive. But an hour into the date he was very touchy feeling, and asked him to take me home. One the way home he asked me if I was a virgin and I said yes (at the time I was and I was about 23). He promptly explained to me that no one would ever marry me if I didn't put out and that he thought all American women were "*****es" meaning "hoes."

Needless to say I never saw him again, and I was married a year later

WOW that is so sad and sick to have tht said to you. He was/is crazy.erplexed