Was our hair meant to be this difficult?

[gymfreak336]

That's cool... and yeah, I was picked on for the same things, like being smart, getting good grades, reading a lot, doing "white" things like eating sushi (and that's Japanese food... what the heck? ).

Your hair looks good as well. For some people, it is just hair and you sound like someone secure in herself and her choices, which is all good.

I think it's hard for most women to get that way and I do think there's a stigma many black women have about their hair. I think it's a thing where we all need to be truly honest with ourselves about our choices (whatever they are) and not just spout off cliches without why we do whatever we do!(don't know if that made sense!)

I got picked on for doing "white" things like kimchi which is korean

Ditto to the second part. I am one of three girls and we all wear a relaxer. I went natural one summer and I enjoyed it. I have thought about doing it again. My mother however is natural, and she has been for the past 30 years. My mom never made us get a relaxer. My sisters and I all got relaxers mostly because of limited styling skills. We were getting older and busier and my mom didn't have nearly as much time to blow dry and press us all. We decided to try relaxers for a while. We all have bounced back and forth from relaxed hair to natural hair in our lives. My parents taught me that hair is just hair and that you can do what ever to you want to it. I think having a mother who didn't stress appearance and looked different from the norm (as far as being natural) helped me adopt this attitude.

 

[Enchantmt]

God DIDN'T. It has been OUR choice to manipulate our hair to look like something that doesn't GROW out of our heads. It has been our CHOICE to believe that our hair - as it grows - isn't gorgeous, beautiful and wonderful. It's our PERCEPTION that we HAVE to tame/manage/control our hair that makes it difficult. It's the IDEA that the whole world should have straight, glasshiny, flowing and blowing in the wind hair that makes it DIFFICULT.

That ain't God... that's US.

Excellent!!!

And I agree with your other post, we are no longer in the position where we have to remain powerless. Once we make it clear that we will not let our hair be deemed unworthy by others, they will accept it, but we have to get to that place first. WE have to be convinced first.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

See, that's the thing I want to know. Did God MAKE our hair like this from the beginning of time or is it something that we or the climate or WHATEVER else did to alter our texture permanently somewhere along our history? Yes, God is perfect but human beings are not.

ok - I did not read through all the pages but about 5 pages through I had to respond:
In Isaiah 3 vs 16-26 I received thorough the scripture the reason why our hair is different. To me it also sums up our love for jewelry the bling, and why we are the way we are as a people. check it out for yourself:
Passage Isaiah 3:16-26:


16Moreover the LORD saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet:
17Therefore the LORD will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the LORD will discover their secret parts.
18In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon,
19The chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers,
20The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings,
21The rings, and nose jewels,
22The changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins,
23The glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods, and the vails.
24And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty.
25Thy men shall fall by the sword, and thy mighty in the war. 26And her gates shall lament and mourn; and she being desolate shall sit upon the ground.

King James Version (KJV)

 

[JewelleNY]

Bunny and Nappywomyn are are point today

I want to pose this question for those who want to ask God why he/she did this to us. What would you do if you got to heaven and God had a fro??? Seriously, what if God had kinky/curly hair, how would you feel then? Remember, Jesus had hair like lamb's wool and wasn't he created in the image of God, as we all are???

I would like to challenge those who find their hair so difficult to stop straightening, stop relaxing, just leave it alone and stop fighting the natural texture for a while. Watch and see how long and thick it will grow then, with very little effort. You'd be surprised

 

[Bunny77]

I got picked on for doing "white" things like kimchi which is korean

Ditto to the second part. I am one of three girls and we all wear a relaxer. I went natural one summer and I enjoyed it. I have thought about doing it again. My mother however is natural, and she has been for the past 30 years. My mom never made us get a relaxer. My sisters and I all got relaxers mostly because of limited styling skills. We were getting older and busier and my mom didn't have nearly as much time to blow dry and press us all. We decided to try relaxers for a while. We all have bounced back and forth from relaxed hair to natural hair in our lives. My parents taught me that hair is just hair and that you can do what ever to you want to it. I think having a mother who didn't stress appearance and looked different from the norm (as far as being natural) helped me adopt this attitude.

White people gotta have everything, don't they?

As for the hair thing... I know some women who jump from relaxed to free-form afro natural to weaves to braids to dreads to TWA to pressed... and they are so fun to be around because they're always switching it up!

And I know that I can't and shouldn't make a judgment about people based only on the style they're currently wearing now... relaxed/pressed doesn't mean they "hate themselves," and natural doesn't mean that they're "conscious" -- you really don't know.

The people I'm mostly speaking of are the ones who feel ashamed if too much new growth starts to show or would ALWAYS choose to throw on a wig or weave if their hair became unhealthy from certain heat or chemical processes instead of trying a natural style.

Or I hate hearing from women who'd like to consider natural hair, but think they shouldn't because black men wouldn't want them.

Again, we can't know by looking at someone what's going through their heads... that's why we all need to do some self-evaluation because only we can heal ourselves (if we need to be healed!).

 

[gymfreak336]

White people gotta have everything, don't they?

I know some women who jump from relaxed to free-form afro natural to weaves to braids to dreads to TWA to pressed... and they are so fun to be around because they're always switching it up!

And I know that I can't and shouldn't make a judgment about people based only on the style they're currently wearing now... relaxed/pressed doesn't mean they "hate themselves," and natural doesn't mean that they're "conscious" -- you really don't know.

The people I'm mostly speaking of are the ones who feel ashamed if too much new growth starts to show or would ALWAYS choose to throw on a wig or weave if their hair became unhealthy from certain heat or chemical processes instead of trying a natural style.

Or I hate hearing from women who'd like to consider natural hair, but think they shouldn't because black men wouldn't want them.

Again, we can't know by looking at someone what's going through their heads... that's why we all need to do some self-evaluation because only we can heal ourselves (if we need to be healed!).

I agree with mostly what you have said. All in all I think the best way to fight those perceptions and bad attitudes about hair is to treat is as just that. I heard a girl talking about how her hair was too nappy and what not and I just laughed in her face. She looked shocked and asked me what my man says when my hair gets too nappy. I just told her that for starters that any man worth having doesn't care about your hair and I asked her what is nappy? You mean tightly curled? If thats the case then when I get alot of newgrowth, I just run my fingers in my scalp all day long and play with the curls. Its just a sign that my hair is growing. She looked so shocked, like she has never met a black woman who thought like that. I asked her, if you got diagnosed with cancer today and lost all of your hair, you would be thankful of any "naps" you could get.

 

[Enchantmt]

ok - I did not read through all the pages but about 5 pages through I had to respond:
In Isaiah 3 vs 16-26 I received thorough the scripture the reason why our hair is different. To me it also sums up our love for jewelry the bling, and why we are the way we are as a people. check it out for yourself:
Passage Isaiah 3:16-26:


16Moreover the LORD saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet:
17Therefore the LORD will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the LORD will discover their secret parts.
18In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon,
19The chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers,
20The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings,
21The rings, and nose jewels,
22The changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins,
23The glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods, and the vails.
24And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty.
25Thy men shall fall by the sword, and thy mighty in the war. 26And her gates shall lament and mourn; and she being desolate shall sit upon the ground.

King James Version (KJV)

If I recall correctly, the city of zion is the city of david. This passage refers to israelites, not africans.

ETA, I will have to research this further. This is what wiki has on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zion I will get ahold of my brother to get a proper translation.

 

[Bunny77]

I agree with mostly what you have said. All in all I think the best way to fight those perceptions and bad attitudes about hair is to treat is as just that. I heard a girl talking about how her hair was too nappy and what not and I just laughed in her face. She looked shocked and asked me what my man says when my hair gets too nappy. I just told her that for starters that any man worth having doesn't care about your hair and I asked her what is nappy? You mean tightly curled? If thats the case then when I get alot of newgrowth, I just run my fingers in my scalp all day long and play with the curls. Its just a sign that my hair is growing. She looked so shocked, like she has never met a black woman who thought like that. I asked her, if you got diagnosed with cancer today and lost all of your hair, you would be thankful of any "naps" you could get.

Yeah, I think we're on the same page even if we're expressing things differently, but I think we agree on the general point.

Even if you choose not to wear your hair nappy and prefer relaxing, don't hate or feel ashamed of the napps. The fact that we have to get touch-ups is good... it means our hair is growing and that's what matters!!

 

[nomoweavesfome]

If I recall correctly, the city of zion is the city of david. This passage refers to israelites, not africans.

right - and depending on your religion or however you study geography in the bible it may or may not apply to you. I believe that we come from the descedents of Isrealites. But I will not go there in this thread at all. It will be too controversial. I believe I come from the tribe of Judah and again it takes extensive study to even get that much. But many may agree or not agree but point in case, it is in the bible AND the Lord said it. It's just a point of reference.

 

[Bunny77]

I want to pose this question for those who want to ask God why he/she did this to us. What would you do if you got to heaven and God had a fro???

I would fall over. And then smile.

Thanks for the shout out!

 

[keluric]

The thing is - white women have to worry about that too!! I'm on a majority white hair board - and they talk about the SAME STUFF - making satin seat cover so their hair won't rub on the back of their seats. Blowdrying their hair straight every morning because they don't want their 'waves'. Wonder what the best treatment is (oil or conditioner) to leave-in their hair while in the sun and sand of the beach - AND they worry about the salt in their hair after they work out.

I really think it's a misconception that black people are the ONLY ones who do things (chemical/mechanical) to their hair because they aren't happy with how it grows out of their hair. Black people aren't the ONLY ones who struggle to grow their hair out - we are just the ones who fight our natural texture the most.

You are SO right! I say this over and over again but it's the "white" products that take up two aisles at the drugstores and Wal-Marts, not ours. White women have been doing things to their hair since the beginning of time and silly us for thinking they just had it like that.

I remember I was at a conference and there were maybe four other girls (three of which were white) staying in my suite. When I got up to do my hair, I couldn't even plug in my curling iron because they were up at the crack of dawn frying their hair just to put it in a ponytail. I know VERY few white women who just wash and go. They may or may not be able to but most do not.

 

[Aubergold]

right - and depending on your religion or however you study geography in the bible it may or may not apply to you. I believe that we come from the descedents of Isrealites. But I will not go there in this thread at all. It will be too controversial. I believe I come from the tribe of Judah and again it takes extensive study to even get that much. But many may agree or not agree but point in case, it is in the bible AND the Lord said it. It's just a point of reference.

stupid question, lol
DO mainland Africans come from the Israelites? I know some people think descendants of slaves do but what about modern day Africans? WHy would they have this hair?

 

[Jaizee]

*reads entire thread*

*shakes her head*

I don't even know where to start. Our hair is only 'difficult' because we are trying to get it to do stuff that isn't NATURAL to it. When I was perming my hair - it was VERY difficult because MY hair doesn't LIKE being straight. When I had locks, my hair was VERY easy because it LIKED being tangled around itself. My hair is now loose, and it's NOT difficult - because I KNOW that I can't comb it everyday. I KNOW that it's pointless for me to try to have straight 'swanging' hair in the humidity of the south. I KNOW that it NEEDS moisture on a daily basis. I KNOW that it wants to be protected - and it's MY duty as a steward of my hair to give it what it NEEDS.

Getting upset with my hair for WANTING to do what is NATURAL for it do (or with God for giving me this hair - what nerve! He coulda made us all bald, THEN where would we be?) is like getting upset with a dog for not meowing and purring. Like getting upset with a fish for not being able to breathe air. Like getting upset with my skin for not being able to show purple tattoos.... it's pointless and it's frustrating and it's not going to do ANYTHING but twist me up inside and get me upset and cause me to look down on the natural beauty and wonder that is ME.

Sweet Mother of us all, ya'll - we don't HAVE straight hair. We don't HAVE hair that we can let dry out and bleach and fry and dye and burn and expect it to still be beatiful and healthy and full. And to wonder why is like to wonder why MOST of us don't have green eyes. And instead of loving our hair as extensions of ourself, and honoring it (and thus honoring OURSELVES) by treating it with the gentle, slow, LOVING care that it deserves and NEEDS - we beat ourselves against a wall trying for something that we can't get. DO I REALLY want hair that I can abuse and it still look good? No - because abusing my hair is abusing myself, and I LOVE me way too much to do something like that.

It ain't even ABOUT loving 'nappy' hair - it's about loving YOUR hair.

*shakes head*

Asking God why he gave us this hair....and then turning around and praying for it to grow.

I could just you right about now (no homo)! This has to be the best post I've ever read. THANK YOU!!!

 

[JewelleNY]

I would fall over. And then smile.

Thanks for the shout out!

 

[firecracker]

Oh, and I think the reason some people are getting a little bothered is not because some folks prefer straight hair and some don't, but because the underlying idea being floated around is that there's something inherently WRONG with the way our hair is.

Ok so your saying it sorta like taking offense to the bs idealogy all black people are bad,criminals and angry? If thats the case I can understand that but still lets not dismiss certain folk feelings and say ya'll repulsive.

There is not. Now, that doesn't mean that everyone is going to like having kinky hair or won't prefer that it be a different texture... and that's another issue that I won't get into on this thread. But I don't care how one puts it, there is NOTHING INHERENTLY WRONG OR BAD about kinky, coily, highly textured black hair.

Now this I totally agree with. I do wish many others felt the same. I think that many truly believe the rhetoric and bs that was feed to them from many years ago. There are many valid points brought up in this thread.

I think when we start getting into the "well, why did God give this to us, did he make a mistake" or "is he cursing us with this hair" it shows more of an issue with us as a community rather than God. And yes, I am bothered personally when I see wonderful Christian men and women in my daily life (whether in real life and on this board) who will glorify God from sun-up to sun-down suddenly want to say that he did black folks wrong by not giving us straight or wavy hair.

Come on now, aren't we better than that? yes but then again I think hairstyling is a choice/accessory to play with as you wish.

And whether or not we were meant to have this hair or it evolved this way or not, we've got it now. You can either accept what it can and cannot do and embrace it, or you can go through life being angry/hurt/disappointed about it.

Now this is a ultimate freeing life experience simple acceptance but uh I still want to switch between short, straight, curly ect. Easy low maintenance is simpy awesome though.

I know I'd rather focus on the positive option. The second choice only lowers your self-esteem and gives you high blood pressure.

Edited to add... I also don't think anyone should feel bad about their thoughts, but at the same time, as with anything, if an issue is causing you so much pain and hurt that it's a continual focus or barrier to building greater self-esteem, then yes, one probably should work on their thinking/actions to get away from that negativity. What's the purpose of going through life never working on oneself and always being bitter/upset/disappointed?

Again it all starts from within and your frame of mind. Look at all the choices you have with that ball of confusion on top of our head.
Women of all races become frustrated when they seek certain hair choices or goals be it color, wanting curls, straight styles, no frizzies. There are loads of products made for all women to prevent this or that. Its not simply a black thang.

I still think the women that feel so called cursed by the nappy hair demon still need an outlet w/o being called names and ridiculed for sharing the hair drama.

 

[Bunny77]

Again it all starts from within and your frame of mind. Look at all the choices you have with that ball of confusion on top of our head.
Women of all races become frustrated when they seek certain hair choices or goals be it color, wanting curls, straight styles, no frizzies. There are loads of products made for all women to prevent this or that. Its not simply a black thang.

I still think the women that feel so called cursed by the nappy hair demon still need an outlet w/o being called names and ridiculed for sharing the hair drama.

Hey... you might still be reading through the thread, but I clarified my statements a little more in other posts.

My point was not that folks couldn't share their feelings or want a different type of hair, but that we shouldn't look at it as God cursing us just because we don't have a texture that we might prefer.

I think most of us who are bothered are bothered by the theory of black hair being inherently bad, not the people themselves who are sharing their thoughts.

 

[firecracker]

Hey... you might still be reading through the thread, but I clarified my statements a little more in other posts.

My point was not that folks couldn't share their feelings or want a different type of hair, but that we shouldn't look at it as God cursing us just because we don't have a texture that we might prefer.

I think most of us who are bothered are bothered by the theory of black hair being inherently bad, not the people themselves who are sharing their thoughts.

I read and totally agree with what your saying. The bolded is absolutely the real.

While I may feel blessed to have a thick bush on the flip side of that I sometimes feel bad for those with thin hair no matter what race.
That female pattern baldness that I witness on many women of all races is scary *** hell to me. I'd shave my head like Telly Savalas/Kojak b4 I do a Donald Trump.

All in all we have to find a place of peace and acceptance for what God gave us. We are not cursed by the nappy hair demon

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Our hair isn’t the problem, we are! Its as simple as that we make it anissue.I will keep re-illiterating my point about black men, if its sooooo hard to grow hair, how comes they never have a problem?!! They just leave it alone, as its meant to be, we wanna have it fried, died and laid to the side. Then complain about not getting somewhere. Something ain’t going to love you if you don’t love it back. Our hair IS NOT FRAGILE, im sick of society telling us that crap, its so fragile that we need DRAIN CLEANER – oh sorry I mean relaxers, to straighten it…oh please that doesn’t sound fragile to me.

Further more I think it’s a western society thing, because being of west indian heritage I know for sure that blacks can grow hair. Damn near EVERYONE in my family had long hair until THEY took farse and wanted to “experiment”. Ironically that was when they came over here (to the west), or atleast woke up to the ways of the west, and some what felt the need to assimilate to the their “standards of beauty”

I also know a few people that are either rastas, travel to africa frequently, or are “afrocentric” (ugh I hate that word but it’s the best I could find) and they all say the same thing,”ohhhhh the people take great care of their hair, women have all textures all legnths”

And God doesn’t make mistakes heres one of the obvious…

1 Corinthians
15but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering.

…SO what the black woman was excluded from this? I think not

At first I was not going to come in here, but I am glad that I did because you hit it dead on the head.

Get the mind right and you won't think of your hair, especially if it's considered kinky, as difficult to deal with, point blank.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Here's something else I've been wondering: why is it that if you say you wish you had a different texture of hair, some people become automatically offended but if you say you wish you were taller, had bigger boobs, a bigger butt, smaller feet, etc. you don't get the same negative "race traitor" type response?

I think you know the answer to this.

What has been the center of hate/dislike/disgust amongst blacks in general when it comes to apperance, which begins at a VERY young age? HAIR TEXTURE! Who mainly relaxes/presses/texturizes to get the slightest kink out of the hair, in an effort to make it more 'manageable'... BLACK WOMEN!

Kinky/nappy/curly/wavy hair is very distinctive amongst us and is one of the main features that sets us apart from other races, yet we tend to not embrace these special features but rather ridicule them.

Someone here mentioned before that when it comes to being different, many times those differences are praised, ie, blue eyes/blond hair, etc, but when it comes to kinky hair, a feature that is so different, so special in our race, it's something that's shunned. That girl was so right about this.

Those other issues you mentioned are unchangeable, ie height, smaller feet,etc and others cost too dang much, bigger boobs, etc. Many do long for what they can't have and by knowing they can't get them, they just learn to be content with how God made them.

 

[Crissi]

At first I was not going to come in here, but I am glad that I did because you hit it dead on the head.

Get the mind right and you won't think of your hair, especially if it's considered kinky, as difficult to deal with, point blank.

Wow, well thank you, and thank you to all the others.

Crissi, x

 

[navsegda]

I think you know the answer to this.

What has been the center of hate/dislike/disgust amongst blacks in general when it comes to apperance, which begins at a VERY young age? HAIR TEXTURE! Who mainly relaxes/presses/texturizes to get the slightest kink out of the hair, in an effort to make it more 'manageable'... BLACK WOMEN!

Kinky/nappy/curly/wavy hair is very distinctive amongst us and is one of the main features that sets us apart from other races, yet we tend to not embrace these special features but rather ridicule them.

Someone here mentioned before that when it comes to being different, many times those differences are praised, ie, blue eyes/blond hair, etc, but when it comes to kinky hair, a feature that is so different, so special in our race, it's something that's shunned. That girl was so right about this.

Texture has not been the only thing that has been a problem for little girls. Sometimes, it's the mere skin color. Yes, there have been people of other races who have made black women feel uncomfortable about their hair texture, however, these same people mostly focused on the blackness. The hair texture was just a by-product. When slavemasters and Klan lynched black women the last thing on their minds was the hair on their head; it was first and foremost the color of their skin. When we were discriminated against it was because of the color of our skin, anything that came after that (such as negative comments toward hair, noses, etc.) just came with the territory. However, you can dislike the texture and be removed from the race because even though many of us have the kinky texture, several others in our race do not have this and there are a few others in other races that have kinky hair.

If you argue for hair texture, you could also argue for other features that white people may have hated because they thought they symbolized blackness: big lips and big noses for instance (which we were made fun of for having but we all know we are not the only ones who have this even if others tried to make it seem different). If you dislike kinky hair because you are black, then that's an issue. However, if you dislike kinky hair for a variety of other reasons totally removed from the race, then that's your choice.

Also, the point remains that white girls straighten the mess out of their hair or perm the mess out of it to be curly without the same type of backlash that a black person gets for say straightening her hair for whatever reason. I knew of several little white girls also at a very YOUNG age who got their hair permed growing up because it was what was popular.

 

[esoterica]

i would love to have wash & go hair but its never gonna happen. even if my hair was in its 100% natural state i couldnt get away with a simple shampoo and condition like everyone else. that's life.

 

[envybeauty]

OP: i feel you.

I don't know about the others but I feel you. I'm glad others have had nothing but great hair experiences all their lives but my hair journey has not always been easy.

For me, it is NOT about a low self esteem or not having hair care skills (as I lack NEITHER), but it is the reality (semantic lovers out here can substitute "reality" for "perception") that my hair is not easy to deal with as I comb, curl, wash, style, etc.

If you were to replace "hair" with "lives" as in "was our lives meant to be this difficult" -- i think others would feel you and stop acting like hair is so easy to deal with. Nothing in life is easy and Black hair care is no exception. ....

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

I don't think our hair is difficult, I think we lack the expertise - or at least not enough - to take proper care of it, and that is something we need to work on harder. All we've tried to do - most of us - is fight against (=weaves, relaxing, texturizing,...etc) our natural hair instead of finding proper ways to take care of it. The reason why we feel it is difficult is because we constantly compare it with hair from people of other ethnic backgrounds (whites, asians, latino's, indians). And that comparison leads to several conclusions: we can't comb our hair, it doesn't grow just as fast, it doesn't fall down...etc. While we should be wondering: was our hair meant to be combed? does it really not grow just as fast? how can hair that curls UP fall DOWN?! I think we problematize our hair.

Can I use this is my siggy? Dang, between you and Mahalilee's (sp?) post, I don't know if I will have enough room to put these response in my siggy!!

ON POINT!

 

[Country gal]

i would love to have wash & go hair but its never gonna happen. even if my hair was in its 100% natural state i couldnt get away with a simple shampoo and condition like everyone else. that's life.

Really. Have you tried it yet? I use to think I didn't have wash and go hair but I certainly do. My hair in it's natural state can be washed and I am out the door.

 

[firecracker]

i would love to have wash & go hair but its never gonna happen. even if my hair was in its 100% natural state i couldnt get away with a simple shampoo and condition like everyone else. that's life.

Sweetie have you tried it? If so for how long? Did you give different products and techniques a try? We have awesome beautiful manageable hair girl.

 

[Country gal]

Bunny and Nappywomyn are are point today

I want to pose this question for those who want to ask God why he/she did this to us. What would you do if you got to heaven and God had a fro??? Seriously, what if God had kinky/curly hair, how would you feel then? Remember, Jesus had hair like lamb's wool and wasn't he created in the image of God, as we all are???

I would like to challenge those who find their hair so difficult to stop straightening, stop relaxing, just leave it alone and stop fighting the natural texture for a while. Watch and see how long and thick it will grow then, with very little effort. You'd be surprised

My hair has never been so thick in my adult life.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

This thread saddens me.

I'm not gonna get all deep, but I wanna bring up a few points.

I don't know a lot of babies of other races, so I have no idea about their hair... but to say that only black babies have texture changes really isn't true. Many babies are born bald but they don't stay bald all their lives. A lot of white folks on Naturallycurly.com say they had straight hair at birth but by age 1, it was curly... so why is it a "curse" or "messed up" for black babies to suddenly have their texture change?

The only reason anyone would think that 4a/4b hair is a curse or a punishment is because they believe that type of hair to be inferior. No one who loves and accepts her hair would feel that way. If someone truly accepted their hair as it is, this idea would never cross their mind.

It's fine to express your feelings, but to me it's disturbing that someone wouldn't acknowledge that these ideas need some challenging. We can have a zillion threads in which posters say how they feel, but don't you think at some point it's time to start saying, "Well why the heck do I feel this way? Maybe the issue is with MY beliefs and not God/Buddha/Zeus or whoever made the world?"

Finally... black women can get up, shower, swim, make love and all that good stuff with the hair they have on their heads, like every other race of women. The difference is that we expect our hair to act like that of other race women, then say it's difficult. Now, it's your choice if you want to try to make your hair straighter and all of that, but if you do, then yes, you will have to spend more time doing it and have less freedom to do some of the activities listed above... but again, that's a result of your choice, not a limitation on black hair.

I'm out.

Bunny, say dat!

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

And as long as black woman are asking why God CURSED them with the natural texture of that hair - things are NEVER going to change. Until WE send out the message that WE are proud of OUR hair - just as it grows out of our head, OF COURSE people are going to assume there is something wrong with it. Heck, WE believe there is something 'wrong' with our hair.

All of the above examples sound like out and out ignorance - a chance to educate the OTHER about the truth of our hair - that only WE can speak on, because only WE know our hair. Over on NP, they started a petition with the BPD tried to say that natural hairstyles weren't allowed - and the BALTIMORE POLICE DEPARTMENT backed down because a bunch of loud, proud, black people stood up and said - NO. There is NOTHING wrong with our hair the way it comes out of our head, and YOU will not try to implement rules that make it seem like there is.

But as long as we are complaining about how 'other' races don't have to go through all this with their hair (races that don't FIGHT their natural hair nearly as much as we do), and as long as we are 'ashamed' of what grows out of our head naturally, and as long as we are 'questioning' whether our GENETICS have been 'warped' in some way - of COURSE the rest of the world is going to look down on our hair - hell, WE ain't even learned how to stop looking down on it.

Until WE stop looking down on our natural hair, ain't nobody ELSE gonna stop looking down on our natural hair. And I think that's why this thread has so many 'sad' people in it - because as long as someone can even ASK if GOD CURSED THEM with their natural hair......it makes me want to cry that anyone could think that God would be hateful enough to curse an entire race....instead of thinking that God BLESSED us with something that NO other race has.

Girl, I have no words. I have no words....

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

HELLO???!!?? *shakes head*

White people/Asian People/Indian people know JACK all about our hair. In fact, our NATURAL hair intrigues them - *LOL* I've had some of the FUNNIEST conversations about hair with white folx - who were asking innocent like a child questions about my NATURAL hair - because they didn't even REALIZE there was a big thing about natural hair. My white girlfriends are SHOCKED when I show them a hairstyle and say it would be considered unacceptable to other black folks.

BLACK people have the biggest problems with BLACK peoples hair - not white people, not asian people, not Island people, not people of any other race who has 'wavy/curly/straight' hair.

US.

We are the problem - and until we REALLY look into ourselves, and until we start rebuking our children and our elders and our brothers and our sisters and ourselves about how we talk about our hair, we will always and CONTINUE to be the problem. We NEED to stop dismissing, hating on, putting down, calling less than, or thinking that it's so difficult....

I ain't saying there is anything wrong with liking - or wanting straight hair. I'm just saying that there is something MAJORLY wrong about disliking/cursing the hair that we are given, and then claiming that it's 'other people' who don't approve of our hair.

Aren't you in Memphis? Girl we have GOTSTA meet! Love ya!