Was our hair meant to be this difficult?

[Blackbird77]

I think this is a good hair discussion topic and I hope others chime in.

I was watching the discovery channel one day and it was talking about how different "races" came about. Basicly life began in Africa, but diff. people migrated to diff. areas which had some effect on our features.

It was said in the program ,that due to the climate (hot and humid) of Africa, that Africans weren't really 'designed' to have long hair. That our hair was genetically short to keep us cool and that the coils/napps kept the sun from burning our skin on top of our heads. And white people have long hair to protect them from the cold/wind and other elements from habitating on the Northern hemisphere. And so on and so on...

Don't know how true it is. But it makes (sort of) sense to me.

But often I find myself pondering like you. Like what was GOD's intention when he created diff. ethnic 'features. Anyways, this is a good topic.

In an anthropology class, I learned that bit about African hair being the way it is because of the sun but then I thought about other areas of the world where non-blacks live that have hot climates, too. Like some of those Polynesian climates. I'm thinking, if our hair was designed to be short because of the sun, how come the folks in the islands have long hair? I could understand the texture of our hair being the way it is but length shouldn't have anything to do with it. I wonder who came up with this theory?

 

[silvergirl]

shakes her head.... omg.............

 

[Crissi]

In an anthropology class, I learned that bit about African hair being the way it is because of the sun but then I thought about other areas of the world where non-blacks live that have hot climates, too. Like some of those Polynesian climates. I'm thinking, if our hair was designed to be short because of the sun, how come the folks in the islands have long hair? I could understand the texture of our hair being the way it is but length shouldn't have anything to do with it. I wonder who came up with this theory?

Maybe i can only speak for myself, and the people i know personally, but my hair tends to thrive in the hot, sunny, tropical climates, i don't have to use much of any product, it stays moist, and doesn't really break and i know plenty people that experience the same thing.

 

[sweetwhispers]

My my, the truth will out.
Some of these posts could be the basis for a psychology dissertation.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

The only thing I think that's sad and shaking head/psychology paper worthy is the fact that some people have nothing meaningful to add to this thread instead of coming into it and attempting make people feel bad or ashamed for the way they feel.

I mean come on, people are here literally crying out for help and all we can do is make them feel ashamed?! How can people ever overcome anything if they don't say how they feel? Are they supposed to push it up under the rug in hopes to save face in front of others? I mean come on, discuss why you feel that way, or how you can help, don't come in here(which was a very productive thread thus far) with the negativity. How is that gonna help?

I swear to bob, that I can seriously understand why people don't like to share their feelings here.

 

[JustKiya]

*reads entire thread*

*shakes her head*

I don't even know where to start. Our hair is only 'difficult' because we are trying to get it to do stuff that isn't NATURAL to it. When I was perming my hair - it was VERY difficult because MY hair doesn't LIKE being straight. When I had locks, my hair was VERY easy because it LIKED being tangled around itself. My hair is now loose, and it's NOT difficult - because I KNOW that I can't comb it everyday. I KNOW that it's pointless for me to try to have straight 'swanging' hair in the humidity of the south. I KNOW that it NEEDS moisture on a daily basis. I KNOW that it wants to be protected - and it's MY duty as a steward of my hair to give it what it NEEDS.

Getting upset with my hair for WANTING to do what is NATURAL for it do (or with God for giving me this hair - what nerve! He coulda made us all bald, THEN where would we be?) is like getting upset with a dog for not meowing and purring. Like getting upset with a fish for not being able to breathe air. Like getting upset with my skin for not being able to show purple tattoos.... it's pointless and it's frustrating and it's not going to do ANYTHING but twist me up inside and get me upset and cause me to look down on the natural beauty and wonder that is ME.

Sweet Mother of us all, ya'll - we don't HAVE straight hair. We don't HAVE hair that we can let dry out and bleach and fry and dye and burn and expect it to still be beatiful and healthy and full. And to wonder why is like to wonder why MOST of us don't have green eyes. And instead of loving our hair as extensions of ourself, and honoring it (and thus honoring OURSELVES) by treating it with the gentle, slow, LOVING care that it deserves and NEEDS - we beat ourselves against a wall trying for something that we can't get. DO I REALLY want hair that I can abuse and it still look good? No - because abusing my hair is abusing myself, and I LOVE me way too much to do something like that.

It ain't even ABOUT loving 'nappy' hair - it's about loving YOUR hair.

*shakes head*

Asking God why he gave us this hair....and then turning around and praying for it to grow.

 

[CAPlush]

In an anthropology class, I learned that bit about African hair being the way it is because of the sun but then I thought about other areas of the world where non-blacks live that have hot climates, too. Like some of those Polynesian climates. I'm thinking, if our hair was designed to be short because of the sun, how come the folks in the islands have long hair? I could understand the texture of our hair being the way it is but length shouldn't have anything to do with it. I wonder who came up with this theory?

I think the curly/kinky texture is more of a "side effect." As we know, our hair structure is different, having many more cuticle layers and very little medulla, if any at all. I have no basis for my theory , but it makes more sense that the hair texture has something to do with the skin, pigmentation, allocation of nutritional resources in the body. It's not an environmental advantage by itself, but it happened because something else was going on in our bodies that created and environmental advantage. Basically, I think the heat protection aspect of the theory isn't all that reasonable considering it is hot in other places of the world besides Africa.

 

[sweetwhispers]

The only thing I think that's sad and shaking head/psychology paper worthy is the fact that some people have nothing meaningful to add to this thread instead of coming into it and attempting make people feel bad or ashamed for the way they feel.

I mean come on, people are here literally crying out for help and all we can do is make them feel ashamed?! How can people ever overcome anything if they don't say how they feel? Are they supposed to push it up under the rug in hopes to save face in front of others? I mean come on, discuss why you feel that way, or how you can help, don't come in here(which was a very productive thread thus far) with the negativity. How is that gonna help?

I swear to bob, that I can seriously understand why people don't like to share their feelings here.

Why not just address me directly instead of talking about some people?
Unless there is a pill which could change their hair to type 2, i very much doubt there is anything i could do to change anyones mind. I didn't see this thread as "how can i change my feelings towards my hair thread"- maybe i'm reading the wrong thread.

 

[navsegda]

The only thing I think that's sad and shaking head/psychology paper worthy is the fact that some people have nothing meaningful to add to this thread instead of coming into it and attempting make people feel bad or ashamed for the way they feel.

I mean come on, people are here literally crying out for help and all we can do is make them feel ashamed?! How can people ever overcome anything if they don't say how they feel? Are they supposed to push it up under the rug in hopes to save face in front of others? I mean come on, discuss why you feel that way, or how you can help, don't come in here(which was a very productive thread thus far) with the negativity. How is that gonna help?

I swear to bob, that I can seriously understand why people don't like to share their feelings here.

*fans self*

GIRL, YOU SAID IT!

There are no words to describe the amount of mad props I give you right now.

I wish I were more eloquent right here...but wow, I just...wow.

 

[sweetwhispers]

This thread is bonkers, and quite truly sad. *Strokes head cursed by God and walks out of thread*

 

[LocksOfLuV]

This thread is bonkers, and quite truly sad. *Strokes head cursed by God and walks out of thread*

The only reason I didn't specifically call you out, is 1. you weren't the only one and 2. because I knew it was a lot more where that came from. I been around here long enough to know, once one comment come in here like that others will soon follow.

And as far as you leaving and I say this with every oz of respect in my body-see ya. It truly isn't worth staying in a thread that makes you 'sad.' The thread held a lot more meaning before people started coming in here shaking their heads with thoughless comments anyways.

 

[kally]

The only reason I didn't specifically call you out, is 1. you weren't the only one and 2. because I knew it was a lot more where that came from. I been around here long enough to know, once one comment come in here like that others will soon follow.

And as far as you leaving and I say this with every oz of respect in my body-see ya. It truly isn't worth staying in a thread that makes you 'sad.' The thread held a lot more meaning before people started coming in here shaking their heads with thoughless comments anyways.

Thank you LocksOfLuv.

 

[firecracker]

This thread is bonkers, and quite truly sad. *Strokes head cursed by God and walks out of thread*

Hey sweetwhispers the thing is some women/people really do share these feelings. Disturbing, bonker or whatever one may think.

I think they need to talk and have discussions about it even if we don't see, feel or share their feelings on their perceived hair challenges.

Stylish/attractive hair really can make a woman feel fierce on her worst day but the true fierceness starts within. Short, long, straight, wavy or nappy like my kunta kente bush you gotta feel good about self first and foremost. Hell I could imagine what a cancer victim goes through during chemo no matter how high the self esteem.

 

[Bunny77]

This thread saddens me.

I'm not gonna get all deep, but I wanna bring up a few points.

I don't know a lot of babies of other races, so I have no idea about their hair... but to say that only black babies have texture changes really isn't true. Many babies are born bald but they don't stay bald all their lives. A lot of white folks on Naturallycurly.com say they had straight hair at birth but by age 1, it was curly... so why is it a "curse" or "messed up" for black babies to suddenly have their texture change?

The only reason anyone would think that 4a/4b hair is a curse or a punishment is because they believe that type of hair to be inferior. No one who loves and accepts her hair would feel that way. If someone truly accepted their hair as it is, this idea would never cross their mind.

It's fine to express your feelings, but to me it's disturbing that someone wouldn't acknowledge that these ideas need some challenging. We can have a zillion threads in which posters say how they feel, but don't you think at some point it's time to start saying, "Well why the heck do I feel this way? Maybe the issue is with MY beliefs and not God/Buddha/Zeus or whoever made the world?"

Finally... black women can get up, shower, swim, make love and all that good stuff with the hair they have on their heads, like every other race of women. The difference is that we expect our hair to act like that of other race women, then say it's difficult. Now, it's your choice if you want to try to make your hair straighter and all of that, but if you do, then yes, you will have to spend more time doing it and have less freedom to do some of the activities listed above... but again, that's a result of your choice, not a limitation on black hair.

I'm out.

 

[kally]

Hey sweetwhispers the thing is some women/people really do share these feelings. Disturbing, bonker or whatever one may think.

I think they need to talk and have discussions about it even if we don't see, feel or share their feelings on their perceived hair challenges.

Stylish/attractive hair really can make a woman feel fierce on her worst day but the true fierceness starts within. Short, long, straight, wavy or nappy like my kunta kente bush you gotta feel good about self first and foremost. Hell I could imagine what a cancer victim goes through during chemo no matter how high the self esteem.

Exactly. I will be the first to admit that when it comes to my hair, I just do not have the self-esteem I need. Probably never will which is truly sad. All other aspects of my life I do, but I feel I need to have a certain look to make my hair exceptable. I Love seeing natural hair the thickness and beauty of it and would love to have it. My hair just does not have the thickness and fullness that the Average AA woman has. My have is baby soft and very fine even in its natural state. It is thicker now then when I was a kid, but I have to be extremely carefull about what I do to it, and it seems when I read about others hair care they do as well, this is why I figured it is the hair is hard to maintain. Everyday I see mainly our race of people walking around with hair issues or hidding it, like myself. I just feel that God did not make us to go through this when it comes to hair.

 

[JustKiya]

I just feel that God did not make us to go through this when it comes to hair.

God DIDN'T. It has been OUR choice to manipulate our hair to look like something that doesn't GROW out of our heads. It has been our CHOICE to believe that our hair - as it grows - isn't gorgeous, beautiful and wonderful. It's our PERCEPTION that we HAVE to tame/manage/control our hair that makes it difficult. It's the IDEA that the whole world should have straight, glasshiny, flowing and blowing in the wind hair that makes it DIFFICULT.

That ain't God... that's US.

 

[Bunny77]

God DIDN'T. It has been OUR choice to manipulate our hair to look like something that doesn't GROW out of our heads. It has been our CHOICE to believe that our hair - as it grows - isn't gorgeous, beautiful and wonderful. It's our PERCEPTION that we HAVE to tame/manage/control our hair that makes it difficult. It's the IDEA that the whole world should have straight, glasshiny, flowing and blowing in the wind hair that makes it DIFFICULT.

That ain't God... that's US.

And THAT sums it all up!!! It's US. Let's give God the glory and respect that He deserves (if you believe in him) and focus on why WE have an issue with our hair instead of trying to put this on Him.

Kally, I do ask this in as respectful a way as possible... from what I read in your posts, you seem to be very strong in your Christian beliefs. That being said, have you ever perhaps thought that it's disrespectful to God to be blaming Him for something that he created just because you have an issue with it?

 

[silvergirl]

*reads entire thread*

*shakes her head*

I don't even know where to start. Our hair is only 'difficult' because we are trying to get it to do stuff that isn't NATURAL to it. When I was perming my hair - it was VERY difficult because MY hair doesn't LIKE being straight. When I had locks, my hair was VERY easy because it LIKED being tangled around itself. My hair is now loose, and it's NOT difficult - because I KNOW that I can't comb it everyday. I KNOW that it's pointless for me to try to have straight 'swanging' hair in the humidity of the south. I KNOW that it NEEDS moisture on a daily basis. I KNOW that it wants to be protected - and it's MY duty as a steward of my hair to give it what it NEEDS.

Getting upset with my hair for WANTING to do what is NATURAL for it do (or with God for giving me this hair - what nerve! He coulda made us all bald, THEN where would we be?) is like getting upset with a dog for not meowing and purring. Like getting upset with a fish for not being able to breathe air. Like getting upset with my skin for not being able to show purple tattoos.... it's pointless and it's frustrating and it's not going to do ANYTHING but twist me up inside and get me upset and cause me to look down on the natural beauty and wonder that is ME.

Sweet Mother of us all, ya'll - we don't HAVE straight hair. We don't HAVE hair that we can let dry out and bleach and fry and dye and burn and expect it to still be beatiful and healthy and full. And to wonder why is like to wonder why MOST of us don't have green eyes. And instead of loving our hair as extensions of ourself, and honoring it (and thus honoring OURSELVES) by treating it with the gentle, slow, LOVING care that it deserves and NEEDS - we beat ourselves against a wall trying for something that we can't get. DO I REALLY want hair that I can abuse and it still look good? No - because abusing my hair is abusing myself, and I LOVE me way too much to do something like that.

It ain't even ABOUT loving 'nappy' hair - it's about loving YOUR hair.

*shakes head*

Asking God why he gave us this hair....and then turning around and praying for it to grow.

 

[kally]

God DIDN'T. It has been OUR choice to manipulate our hair to look like something that doesn't GROW out of our heads. It has been our CHOICE to believe that our hair - as it grows - isn't gorgeous, beautiful and wonderful. It's our PERCEPTION that we HAVE to tame/manage/control our hair that makes it difficult. It's the IDEA that the whole world should have straight, glasshiny, flowing and blowing in the wind hair that makes it DIFFICULT.

That ain't God... that's US.

This is true, our choices does effect our outcome of the hair, but other races make poor choices as well and their hair suffers, but not seemingly as much as ours.

 

[ShaniKeys]

Shanikeys:

I really like your statement. I do not know how to use the quote thing, unless I would quote you.

I agree with everything you wrote except with "OUR" hair. You and everyone knows I do not subscribe to such theory. Yet, right on point. Your post makes a lot of sense and I find it something to be learned from.

I thank you such a post.

Thanks Spiceykitten, and the comment you made about the "OUR" hair thing, makes alot of sense.

 

[KeyahGirl]

It's our PERCEPTION that we HAVE to tame/manage/control our hair that makes it difficult.

I think this is disingenuous, frankly. It isn't our perception - it's reality and it's influenced by the majority. When you have schools barring natural hairstyles like braids, is that "our" perception? If you have people like my cousin, who has had beautiful, Cassandra Wilson-like locs for most of her adult life and was written up by her "liberal" law firm for "unkempt appearance" and was later told that it was her locs that made them think that she wasn't the "right sort of minority person" to be in their firm, is it "our" perception that our hair is difficult?

When you are denied a gig or looked at like you stink or asked if you can bathe with "those things" in your hair, is it "our" perception that our hair is difficult?

Let's be real. We have to survive in this world, and a lot of it is about conformity. If you choose NOT to conform and you have no problem getting jobs, feeding your family and thriving in life, congrats. But that's not the reality, when in the 21st century you have universities passing strictures against natural styles and you still have people coming to this board and others with stories about how they were clowned, frowned or put down by their white peers and bosses over how their hair grows naturally out of their scalp.

None of that - NONE OF IT - in my opinion, is "our" perception. It's the way things are. And when THAT changes, I'm sure "our" perception about the beauty of our hair WILL change.

 

[navsegda]

This thread saddens me.

I'm not gonna get all deep, but I wanna bring up a few points.

I don't know a lot of babies of other races, so I have no idea about their hair... but to say that only black babies have texture changes really isn't true. Many babies are born bald but they don't stay bald all their lives. A lot of white folks on Naturallycurly.com say they had straight hair at birth but by age 1, it was curly... so why is it a "curse" or "messed up" for black babies to suddenly have their texture change?

No one is trying to imply that black babies are the only ones with texture changes. Not all are (some have much looser textures of hair and retained these textures). However, many had much looser textures of hair when they were babies and even later points that eventually progressed to a more-coiled, "kinkier" texture if you will. Many is indicative of a large number, it is not all encompassing. We've already discussed that some babies of other races (like Isis brought up) have textures of hair similar to many of our own now and we were debating whether or not that texture changed like many of ours did when they grew older, too. I said I had never seen a black baby with kinky hair the same texture it is now but that doesn't mean you or someone else hasn't.

Also, many babies are born bald (several white babies are). However, baldness and the texture growing out of your head are two different subjects. I'm talking about the texture that grows out of your head whenever it first grows at whatever point and how it may or may not change as you progress.

 

[kally]

I think this is disingenuous, frankly. It isn't our perception - it's reality and it's influenced by the majority. When you have schools barring natural hairstyles like braids, is that "our" perception? If you have people like my cousin, who has had beautiful, Cassandra Wilson-like locs for most of her adult life and was written up by her "liberal" law firm for "unkempt appearance" and was later told that it was her locs that made them think that she wasn't the "right sort of minority person" to be in their firm, is it "our" perception that our hair is difficult?

When you are denied a gig or looked at like you stink or asked if you can bathe with "those things" in your hair, is it "our" perception that our hair is difficult?

Let's be real. We have to survive in this world, and a lot of it is about conformity. If you choose NOT to conform and you have no problem getting jobs, feeding your family and thriving in life, congrats. But that's not the reality, when in the 21st century you have universities passing strictures against natural styles and you still have people coming to this board and others with stories about how they were clowned, frowned or put down by their white peers and bosses over how their hair grows naturally out of their scalp.

None of that - NONE OF IT - in my opinion, is "our" perception. It's the way things are. And when THAT changes, I'm sure "our" perception about the beauty of our hair WILL change.

Not to mention, the little school age girls who wear their hair natural have to be the butt of jokes at school, from other children (mainly from her own race)because her hair is not like her other race counterparts . This really brings about self hate, because at that age your only worry is fitting it.

 

[navsegda]

And THAT sums it all up!!! It's US. Let's give God the glory and respect that He deserves (if you believe in him) and focus on why WE have an issue with our hair instead of trying to put this on Him.

Kally, I do ask this in as respectful a way as possible... from what I read in your posts, you seem to be very strong in your Christian beliefs. That being said, have you ever perhaps thought that it's disrespectful to God to be blaming Him for something that he created just because you have an issue with it?

I know you weren't talking to me but I also wanted to pose a question to you. How do you know that the texture that many of us have now was the texture given to us originally by God? As others have said, we have evolved over many years and the phenotype expressed now in many of us may not have been the phenotype expressed first long ago. After doing much research now, there are a lot of scientists, geneticists, anthropologists, and archaeologists that do believe that early Africans did not in fact have kinky hair and that it was a later mutation that became dominant (not all mutations are bad, if it was a mutation to protect us or make us genetically more favorable then I think that shows that we were strong enough to handle conditions that maybe many of other races could not and would have died out as a result) to deal with the climate or some other form of adapation to the environment (that may not be climate related), or it may be a combination of many factors for survival. I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THIS IS THE TRUTH OF ALL TRUTHS. If you choose to believe this is crap, then sobeit. Point being: there is no proof that this is the texture we've always had and there isn't 100% proof that this isn't the texture we always had, either.

Also, there are many things we question God about. Why did you have to take my son? Why did you have to take my daughter? Why did you have to take my grandmother? Why is X member of my family dying of cancer? Why did Eve screw it up for the rest of us so that we have to go through pain during childbirth (without modern medicine)? Why do bad things happen to good people? I am in no way comparing kinky hair to cancer so please do not get that idea; I'm just using this as an example of other things that we can have that we may question God about because we do not understand.

 

[kally]

And THAT sums it all up!!! It's US. Let's give God the glory and respect that He deserves (if you believe in him) and focus on why WE have an issue with our hair instead of trying to put this on Him.

Kally, I do ask this in as respectful a way as possible... from what I read in your posts, you seem to be very strong in your Christian beliefs. That being said, have you ever perhaps thought that it's disrespectful to God to be blaming Him for something that he created just because you have an issue with it?

Yes I have thought that, and feel very bad about it. God knows how my heart is and that I have been struggling with this for all of my life. I mean he could have made me bald. I am aware that I have to be thankful for what I have and I would be devastated if he took it away from me for complain, he also knows I am in search of answers as well.

 

[navsegda]

Yes I have thought that, and feel very bad about it. God knows how my heart is and that I have been struggling with this for all of my life. I mean he could have made me bald. I am aware that I have to be thankful for what I have and I would be devastated if he took it away from me for complain, he also knows I am in search of answers as well.

Do not let ANYONE else make you feel bad. We all have our issues and we all have our problems in life. None of us are perfect. Relaxed or straightened heads shouldn't be criticizing the naturals for their views and the naturals shouldn't be criticizing the relaxed or straightened (because not all naturals straighten their hair) for their views. No one in this thread has been perfectly happy with every single thing in their life at every single point of life so we do not have the right to judge or tell someone else HOW they should feel based on our OWN personal views. We can ask questions so we can understand where the other is coming from and present our viewpoints, but to become insulting or make someone feel ashamed of the way they feel is not the way to go.

 

[kally]

I know you weren't talking to me but I also wanted to pose a question to you. How do you know that the texture that many of us have now was the texture given to us originally by God? As others have said, we have evolved over many years and the phenotype expressed now in many of us may not have been the phenotype expressed first long ago. After doing much research now, there are a lot of scientists, geneticists, anthropologists, and archaeologists that do believe that early Africans did not in fact have kinky hair and that it was a later mutation that became dominant (not all mutations are bad, if it was a mutation then I think that shows that we were strong enough to handle conditions that maybe many of other races could not) to deal with the climate or some other form of adapation to the environment (that may not be climate related), or it may be a combination of many factors for survival. I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THIS IS THE TRUTH OF ALL TRUTHS. If you choose to believe this is crap, then sobeit. Point being: there is no proof that this is the texture we've always had and there isn't 100% proof that this isn't the texture we always had, either.

Also, there are many things we question God about. Why did you have to take my son? Why did you have to take my daughter? Why did you have to take my grandmother? Why is X member of my family dying of cancer? Why did Eve screw it up for the rest of us so that we have to go through pain during childbirth (without modern medicine)? Why do bad things happen to good people? I am in no way comparing kinky hair to cancer so please do not get that idea; I'm just using this as an example of other things that we can have that we may question God about because we do not understand.

 

[londonjakki]

I think this is disingenuous, frankly. It isn't our perception - it's reality and it's influenced by the majority. When you have schools barring natural hairstyles like braids, is that "our" perception? If you have people like my cousin, who has had beautiful, Cassandra Wilson-like locs for most of her adult life and was written up by her "liberal" law firm for "unkempt appearance" and was later told that it was her locs that made them think that she wasn't the "right sort of minority person" to be in their firm, is it "our" perception that our hair is difficult?

When you are denied a gig or looked at like you stink or asked if you can bathe with "those things" in your hair, is it "our" perception that our hair is difficult?

Let's be real. We have to survive in this world, and a lot of it is about conformity. If you choose NOT to conform and you have no problem getting jobs, feeding your family and thriving in life, congrats. But that's not the reality, when in the 21st century you have universities passing strictures against natural styles and you still have people coming to this board and others with stories about how they were clowned, frowned or put down by their white peers and bosses over how their hair grows naturally out of their scalp.

None of that - NONE OF IT - in my opinion, is "our" perception. It's the way things are. And when THAT changes, I'm sure "our" perception about the beauty of our hair WILL change.

ITA.......I have 4b natural hair that does not curl up in cute curls when dry....& yes I have a difficult time with my hair....I like to wear braids sometimes.. as its about 12 inches in front and about 8 inches in back.. I cannot press it myself it comes out big and puffy....at my job they actually tried to come out with a ruling saying we cannot wear braids, twists & cornrows.....so
Kally I know what you are talking about Maybe I need to get the right products..but hey thats why I'm here.....

 

[JazzyDez]

The only thing I think that's sad and shaking head/psychology paper worthy is the fact that some people have nothing meaningful to add to this thread instead of coming into it and attempting make people feel bad or ashamed for the way they feel.

I mean come on, people are here literally crying out for help and all we can do is make them feel ashamed?! How can people ever overcome anything if they don't say how they feel? Are they supposed to push it up under the rug in hopes to save face in front of others? I mean come on, discuss why you feel that way, or how you can help, don't come in here(which was a very productive thread thus far) with the negativity. How is that gonna help?

I swear to bob, that I can seriously understand why people don't like to share their feelings here.

I TOTALLY AGREE!!

People are responding to the poster in such a condesending tone and some coming in here with their useless 2 cents (like one negative comment and leaving thread) for what reason?? I definately SEE where the poster is coming from but I also SEE where some of the responders are coming from. If you disagree with her or dont believe that she should feel this way I am sure that (some of you) can figure out a better way to word your responses. I havent really commented on the topic for the simple fact that I dont feel like debating but I have been keeping up with the thread. Some people just need to grow up.

 

[navsegda]

Not to mention, the little school age girls who wear their hair natural have to be the butt of jokes at school, from other children (mainly from her own race)because her hair is not like her other race counterparts . This really brings about self hate, because at that age your only worry is fitting it.

Man, I was made fun of by black people when I was natural as a child. Now some black people will make fun of me because I'm relaxed. It's like a Catch 22 situation anywhere you go. You can't win for losing. Like I have said, everyone should just accept the hairstyle choices we all choose to make or just kindly STFU. What gives you the freaking right to be holier-than-thou and look down upon someone else for something that does not personally affect you one way or another? If someone likes their hair or doesn't like their hair, how is it causing any of us to lose any sleep at night or harming any of us in any way? There are all sorts of things we like and dislike and yet none of them are criticized or ridiculed in the way hair is.