Vent About Nephew: Updated

[DeepBluSea]

I feel bad for you, your son, your mom, and your brother’s children. It’s so difficult to pull back especially when there are kids involved but you cannot save everyone.

I’m so angry with “the parents.” 14 is an important crossroads. He can get into serious trouble with no guidance.

Children need a secure home. You tried to provide that. Know that you have done your best. They will try to twist history like they are spinning on Facebook but you will know otherwise.

 

[lesedi]

14 is an important crossroads. He can get into serious trouble with no guidance.

So true. It's a dangerous age.

 

[hopeful]

Yup, and right now it's a three day weekend so we'll see how Tuesday goes. I on the other hand will be out the door headed to work early.

Good for you!

True. I always think what is going to happen in 2wks fam?! Are you going to get a job im 2wks? Your piss poor situation is going to change...in 2wks?! I think not

Right!

 

[Ganjababy]

Girl, I luv you...

Good for you and your mom. You have both had enough and are standing your ground. Both of you deserve happiness and peace, to enjoy the fruits of your labor. And regardless of what happens to the nephew it is not your or your mother’s fault or responsibility. Don’t let anyone lay that guilt or responsibility at your feet. And ignore your brother on Facebook. Block him if you have to. He’s trying to re-engage and re-entangle you. He said he wanted his son so now he has him Isn’t that what he wanted?

I am so proud of you. And your mom. Be strong. They will pull out every trick in the book now to avoid responsibility for their son. Just keep standing your ground. Your nephew is NOT your responsibility. You take care of you and your son. That’s it. Your mom take care of herself and her granddaughter. That’s it.

Humph, big old 14 year old boy walking around with a face mask on talking about he got the flu. Girl ...

 

[Black Ambrosia]

@ClassyJSP Any updates? When you withdrew was it immediate? I want to make sure you’re not on the hook for whatever happens next. Is he with his parents? Grandmother? I understand if you’ve chosen to distance yourself and don’t know what’s going on with him.

 

[ClassyJSP]

@ClassyJSP Any updates? When you withdrew was it immediate? I want to make sure you’re not on the hook for whatever happens next. Is he with his parents? Grandmother? I understand if you’ve chosen to distance yourself and don’t know what’s going on with him.

My motion to withdraw should be finalized in the beginning of March. My lawyer has been in contact with the lawyer appointed to my nephew and he's been updated on the situation.

Yes, he's with his parents I packed up all of his stuff and had my brother come and pick everything up from my house. My brother and his girlfriend/nephew's mom (I don't know what to call her at this point) moved into their apartment Feb 23rd, however they didn't have anything to move into the place so my mother helped them out. She helped in more ways than I would've she went grocery shopping for them, gave them an bedroom set/dinning room set out of her house and helped my brother get his license back all because he came crying to her.

I also haven't seen my nephew in about 2 weeks and at this point I'm keeping my distance from all three of them (my nephew and his parents.)

 

[intellectualuva]

Good. Focus on you and yours. I wish them the best, but something tells me this won't last long. Most people get new apartment or cars and such during tax season and its all gone by July. Its sad.

 

[hopeful]

Nice update! Way to go @ClassyJSP. I’m proud of you girl.

 

[tolly]

My motion to withdraw should be finalized in the beginning of March. My lawyer has been in contact with the lawyer appointed to my nephew and he's been updated on the situation.

Yes, he's with his parents I packed up all of his stuff and had my brother come and pick everything up from my house. My brother and his girlfriend/nephew's mom (I don't know what to call her at this point) moved into their apartment Feb 23rd, however they didn't have anything to move into the place so my mother helped them out. She helped in more ways than I would've she went grocery shopping for them, gave them an bedroom set/dinning room set out of her house and helped my brother get his license back all because he came crying to her.

I also haven't seen my nephew in about 2 weeks and at this point I'm keeping my distance from all three of them (my nephew and his parents.)

I would be hurt that nephew didn't deem fit to contact you. All three owe you gratitude for the time you kept their son.
As you alreay concluded its good to just keep yor distance, I understand the boy not fully understanding the gravity of opening your home to him but his parents know better!

 

[ClassyJSP]

I can't find the post where someone said they probably will claim him on their taxes.

Yup, they did the IRS informed me he's been claimed twice and mine was kicked back. I can however show proof and then get audited to get the additional amount i'm owed but idk if I want to do all of that.

 

[hopeful]

I can't find the post where someone said they probably will claim him on their taxes.

Yup, they did the IRS informed me he's been claimed twice and mine was kicked back. I can however show proof and then get audited to get the additional amount i'm owed but idk if I want to do all of that.

I would let it go. Too much time and energy. Just stay away from your blackistani brother and his family and focus on building the life you want for yourself. Keep moving forward.

 

[ClassyJSP]

I would let it go. Too much time and energy. Just stay away from your blackistani brother and his family and focus on building the life you want for yourself. Keep moving forward.

That's what I think i'm going to do I've spent too much time and energy on this already.

 

[hopeful]

That's what I think i'm going to do I've spent too much time and energy on this already.

Yep I listened to something recently that said the most valuable resource is time and energy, more valuable than money. So we have to be cognizant of that, wise in how we spend those precious resources.

 

[MzLady78]

I can't find the post where someone said they probably will claim him on their taxes.

Yup, they did the IRS informed me he's been claimed twice and mine was kicked back. I can however show proof and then get audited to get the additional amount i'm owed but idk if I want to do all of that.

This just happened with one of my cousins I mentioned earlier. Her trifling arse sister sure did claim her daughter on her taxes, despite her not having custody for a year and not shelling out one dime to help in that entire time.

So glad I don't have people like this in my family (she's their half-sister, not related to me, thank God).

 

[Theresamonet]

I can't find the post where someone said they probably will claim him on their taxes.

Yup, they did the IRS informed me he's been claimed twice and mine was kicked back. I can however show proof and then get audited to get the additional amount i'm owed but idk if I want to do all of that.

Wow. Just when you think these people couldn’t get any more trifling.

 

[meka72]

That's probably how they got that apartment.

I would provide the documentation to demonstrate that you're entitled to claim your nephew.

I can't find the post where someone said they probably will claim him on their taxes.

Yup, they did the IRS informed me he's been claimed twice and mine was kicked back. I can however show proof and then get audited to get the additional amount i'm owed but idk if I want to do all of that.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

I can't find the post where someone said they probably will claim him on their taxes.

Yup, they did the IRS informed me he's been claimed twice and mine was kicked back. I can however show proof and then get audited to get the additional amount i'm owed but idk if I want to do all of that.

Aw hell. That was me. Last post on first page. Smh.

 

[ChasingBliss]

I’d let him go based on his age, his lying, no one seeming to appreciate your efforts, and the drama it’s causing you. I’d drop the motion and tell him to get the address of where his parent’s live, and put him in a cab. I’d help him pack too. The courts can pick him up from their house and put him in foster care if they want to. You have taken on a problem that is not yours to solve. I think the longer you stay entangled the more damage it’s going to cause you and your family. Maybe you can request an emergency hearing to drop your rights? Or maybe someone at the school can help you untangle yourself. I would feel differently if the nephew wanted to be with you and made you feel appreciated.

I didnt know how to word my thoughts...I felt mean spirited and uncaring inside (society does a number on women smh). I also love my peace of mind way too much. But @hopeful worded it all perfectly.

 

[hopeful]

I didnt know how to word my thoughts...I felt mean spirited and uncaring inside (society does a number on women smh). I also love my peace of mind way too much. But @hopeful worded it all perfectly.

Thank you! It has taken years, a lot of hurting, and the guidance of smart women to truly feel, think, speak, and act like this. And it still isn’t automatic for me. Women are taught to be the sacrifice. It’s dressed up to look like niceness and being loving, but it’s all about being the sacrifice, the mammy, and/or the mule. You make good choices you should be rewarded, period. We are under no obligation to take on other people’s responsibilities.

Of course we all feel compassion for her nephew. That’s all well and good but my primary loyalty lies with myself and with the OP. We all deserve to feel free and happy. Feeling that way is nearly impossible if we allow others to make us the sacrifice. Before you know it you look up and you are overweight, exhausted, running out of time to do all of the things you dreamed about.

Charity is lovely but it shouldn’t be forced upon us or given in a way that harms us and keeps our focus off of ourselves and our lives. Charity begins at home. We have to honor ourselves first and foremost, then it extends from there. Our first and primary obligation is to ourselves and our wellbeing.

 

[Farida]

I am so glad my DH doesn’t play. People are so trifling. You could call my DH in tears talmbout you are homeless in the street and he’ll be like, “make sure you sleep under a bridge tonight, they expect rain.”

And in CA people don’t stay in my house for more than a weekend (except my mom and MIL). I an not allowing anyone to establish residency and forcd me to have to initiate eviction proeedings.

I am sorry for the emotional manipulation and financial mess.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I can't find the post where someone said they probably will claim him on their taxes.

Yup, they did the IRS informed me he's been claimed twice and mine was kicked back. I can however show proof and then get audited to get the additional amount i'm owed but idk if I want to do all of that.

I know others feel differently but I'd get what's mine.

 

[ClassyJSP]

I know others feel differently but I'd get what's mine.

I'm not going to lie and say I didn't think about it, because I did. But I'm truly over this whole situation with them.

 

[lavaflow99]

I'm not going to lie and say I didn't think about it, because I did. But I'm truly over this whole situation with them.

Peace of mind is priceless.

 

[hopeful]

Peace of mind is priceless.

It really is. You can always get more money but time and energy lost can’t be replaced. If it were a lot of money it might be worth it but I’m assuming it’s not worth the time and energy that would be invested. The turmoil that would ensue and being re-entangled again with her brother and his family. The price she’ll pay will likely not be worth it.

 

[lavaflow99]

It really is. You can always get more money but time and energy lost can’t be replaced. If it were a lot of money it might be worth it but I’m assuming it’s not worth the time and energy that would be invested. The turmoil that would ensue and being re-entangled again with her brother and his family. The price she’ll pay will likely not be worth it.

And Karma will come through and handle it. She always does.

 

[irsgirl]

Umm I wouldn't be surprised if one of the parents hadn't already claimed him on the tax return.

I have gone through this for the last two years with my grandson. He has lived with me since June 2016 and his mother only texts me when it about claiming him on her taxes!

 

[intellectualuva]

I have gone through this for the last two years with my grandson. He has lived with me since June 2016 and his mother only texts me when it about claiming him on her taxes!

Ummm Miss....you out here looking 30 with a grandson! LHCF is the land of unicorns.

 

[meka72]

I have gone through this for the last two years with my grandson. He has lived with me since June 2016 and his mother only texts me when it about claiming him on her taxes!

I hear about this all the time and folks stay having to repay the IRS.

 

[awhyley]

For the life of me, I can't understand the temerity of some folks. OP, you did the right thing. Time to move on. Grandma needs to send their daughter back too. What is the deal with claiming all these kids at tax time?

 

[irsgirl]

Ummm Miss....you out here looking 30 with a grandson! LHCF is the land of unicorns.

Awe thank you that's so sweet,but I have 6 grands in total!