LilMissRed
Well-Known Member
Been there. Done that. Don't do it OP. $230 per month?? oh yeah hes getting off EAAASSSSYYYYYY!
Child Support Drama Rant o_O. Ugh
- Thread starter LoveBeautyKisses
- Start date
sky_blu
Well-Known Member
No need to feel dumb. You're not the only person that's been in this situation AND surely won't be the last. Don't lower the payment and don't let his mother or him make you feel bad either. $230 is minimal compared to all the time you have your son while he's off living free and willy nilly, answering to no one. That debt his mother put his name has nothing to do with you or your son that HIS business but he needs to pay that child support. I would definitely keep the court order being that he's already shown that he's inconsistent about the needs of his son i.e childcare payments to your grandparents (which was only $50). Being an adult is all about making decisions and living with the decisions you make. As far as Im concerned he put himself there when he chose not to willingly help you with your son. Boom!
LoveBeautyKisses
Well-Known Member
Thanks Ladies.
Hearing from all of you makes me feel better. Realizing I don't have to answer to no one at all when it comes to.protecting my son.
Thanks a bunch.
Hearing from all of you makes me feel better. Realizing I don't have to answer to no one at all when it comes to.protecting my son.
Thanks a bunch.
*CherryPie*
Well-Known Member
Elnahna
Well-Known Member
Exactly, I was in the same situation with my children. He told me this story about why the amount was too much and he really wanted to purchase things and spend time with the children.. blah..blah..blah.. Anyway he sounded so sincere, I believed him, I allowed them to lower the payments. I struggled to take care of the kids and he went MIA, with a big smile.
You child is entitled to those monies, it is for him. Also, think about the whole picture, raising a child is expensive, not just the money, but also the emotional cost and the daily sacrifices. Finding a babysitter is your sole problem. When you want to go out.. anywhere (grocery, party, school etc) you have to plan around your child. All while Mister Man is footloose and free. You can still love him and hold him accountable at the same time. Men will get away with as much as you let him.
I hope I don't sound bitter, but I've lived this and I wish someone had been in my face about it.
OH, and if the dad is working require that the baby be put on his health insurance.
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LoveBeautyKisses
Well-Known Member
Seeking8Rights
New Member
Yup. And also make sure he shares a percentage of all after school daycare cost. Yes they can put it in the support order.
You will find this helpful during the summer when you may have to send your kid to camp (that cost money) or some other summer daycare program.Important expenses that should be in the support order (in addition to the basic support):
Healthcare (and dental)
Childcare
College (this is not apart of childcare and is a separate support obligation)
ClassicBeauty
New Member
I have a small child, and $230 barely covers a week worth of diapers, wipes, and daycare. 
You should not feel guilty about receiving support from your child's father. The child deserves the best that you and his dad can give him, so hold strong and do what's right for the child.
Guys act like this a lot. I've even seen them bring their child's mother to the courthouse to demand cutting the child support. In my state, the mother has no say if she's on benefits, so the dads even try to make the mothers get off of benefits.
I have told a few women that they were crazy as hell if they thought that a man was worth not having food (SNAP) and healthcare for their children. I talked them out of it, but the fact that they even thought about it...
OP, always think about what's in the best interest of the child.
You should not feel guilty about receiving support from your child's father. The child deserves the best that you and his dad can give him, so hold strong and do what's right for the child. Guys act like this a lot. I've even seen them bring their child's mother to the courthouse to demand cutting the child support. In my state, the mother has no say if she's on benefits, so the dads even try to make the mothers get off of benefits.
I have told a few women that they were crazy as hell if they thought that a man was worth not having food (SNAP) and healthcare for their children. I talked them out of it, but the fact that they even thought about it...OP, always think about what's in the best interest of the child.
tocktick
Well-Known Member
If you think he could give more, do not appeal. His mother putting a debt in his name does not change the fact that as a father he has to provide financially for his child. If the two of you were together, he would most likely have to pull out more than a (imo, measly) $230 out of his pocket for his child per month to keep him fed, sheltered and clothed.
All through your post I saw this man having excuses being made for him to try and get him off the hook, which is slightly unbelievable to me. As a father he can't just give what he feels is enough whenever he happens to feel like it - it has to actually be enough and consistently at that. If I were you, I wouldn't be appealing anything or even be thinking about it at 21 days. Nor would I let him being friendly or possibilities getting back cloud my judgement on this issue. Good luck.
All through your post I saw this man having excuses being made for him to try and get him off the hook, which is slightly unbelievable to me. As a father he can't just give what he feels is enough whenever he happens to feel like it - it has to actually be enough and consistently at that. If I were you, I wouldn't be appealing anything or even be thinking about it at 21 days. Nor would I let him being friendly or possibilities getting back cloud my judgement on this issue. Good luck.
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