Child Support Drama Rant o_O. Ugh

I didn't want to sound stupid but I had to ask you ladies due to the fact that maybe some of yall have been there done that.

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LoveBeautyKisses

HA, been there done that wore the t-shirt. It would be foolish for you to lower it and he shouldn't be mad for taking care of his child albeit court ordered child support or not.

Put your child FIRST and do not feel bad about it.
 
I don't have any children, thus I've never been in your situation OP, but what about putting the remaining money you have left over in a savings account for your child.

You can set up a college savings account for your son. If the dad is resistant to paying $230/week now, he's going to spaz when he sees the cost of a college education.:look:
 
I plan on saving it. I have saved up some money for my son I don't want to touch it. I have opened a cd for him as well as buying savings bonds

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I'm jiust trying to understand why men do this? Why? This is so sad.. What are you supposed to do with $230?

Why dont men want to pay?
 
Are you serious?!? :nono:

It's sound dumb, but it's really not. I can relate because me and my sons father were best friends (up until I had to do the same....initiate court ordered child support. His family and my family were very close.

To a certain extent you start to act in their (the fathers) self interest and look past their selfishness, which is 360 degrees backwards but you don't know better until someone tell you otherwise.
 
My mother went through something very similar with my father. She told me how he convinced her to signs papers saying that she'd take him off of child support. My father took the paperwork up to the courts and a few days later my mother received a call from a woman who worked there. She said the woman was like "Honey, are you sure you want to do this? If you take him off, it won't be so easy to put him back on.", so she decided to leave him on.

My grandmother (his mother) was very mean too. She once gave my mother 20 dollars worth of coins (she purposely did that to be spiteful) and made her sign a receipt saying that they gave her that money :nono:. You've gotten some really good advice so far and I agree that you should do what's best for you and your child and that would be keeping the father on child support. Stay strong and good luck :yep:.
 
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I think you are failing to realize that the $230 not only is feeding and clothing your son, but it is the father's contribution to the baby's portion of the rent, utilities, and transportation expenses. As previously stated, if you lower the child support payments or take him off of child support; it will be harder to increase or refile later.

You need to focus on the welfare of your child. I hope he is not trying to smooth things over with you so you can drop the child support case. Please don't fall for that con.
 
My son has a decent father. Spends bookoodles of time with him and does all of the fatherly things that he should do. I won't say the exact amount, but he pays me between $600-$900 a month in child support and I have never felt bad about that amount and never will. And neither should you. And he knows not to fix his mouth in any shape, form, or fashion to complain to me about what he pays to take care of his son.
 
Sorry OP I think it's pathetic that the COURT was the one that got child support instead of YOU doing it for your kid from the beginning..seems like you rather put this half and half relationship over the benefit of your child

Instead of whining about losing money he should have ben more proactive in protecting his sperm from such situations
 
He should be supporting his child. 230, please. Take every cent of it and use it for your kid. And if his situation improves, so should the support. And if he whines about paying it, tell him he is more than welcome to raise him full time.

His momma sounds trifling too

This is why I don't think OP should ask for an appeal.

And he should take his trifling momma to court.[/QUOTE]

@ the Red, he probably would so he can put more money in his moms pocket - seems like he cares about her more than his offspring.

@ both bolded-s Yes, Yes and YES. I don't understand being ok with your child being in shiesty situations at day care and possibly going hungry/without but OK with paying off debt your mother accumulted while you were a child and beig ok with her taking money directly from your child.
 
Since he's already stopped paying your grandparents, he already has a habit of "paying when he feels like it.". I would keep him on the child support. It's about your SON. And just because you have a good job now doesn't absolve him of his responsibility.

And tell his mama to stay out of it.
 
I would get all that I can in child support and open a SAVINGS account for my child. You never know what may happen in the future . $230 is peanuts and the child may not need a lot now, but he will shortly.
The mother sounds a hot mess. Hugs for you OP.
 
It's sound dumb, but it's really not. I can relate because me and my sons father were best friends (up until I had to do the same....initiate court ordered child support. His family and my family were very close.

To a certain extent you start to act in their (the fathers) self interest and look past their selfishness, which is 360 degrees backwards but you don't know better until someone tell you otherwise.

Yes I agree that's why I asked for advice because I was stressing about it. Thank u

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My mother went through something very similar with my father. She told me how he convinced her to signs papers saying that she'd take him off of child support. My father took the paperwork up to the courts and a few days later my mother received a call from a woman who worked there. She said the woman was like "Honey, are you sure you want to do this? If you take him off, it won't be so easy to put him back on.", so she decided to leave him on.

My grandmother (his mother) was very mean too. She once gave my mother 20 dollars worth of coins (she purposely did that to be spiteful) and made her sign a receipt saying that they gave her that money :nono:. You've gotten some really good advice so far and I agree that you should do what's best for you and your child and that would be keeping the father on child support. Stay strong and good luck :yep:.

Oh wow Moms get really emotional over their sons. I told her to shut the Hell up.

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I think you are failing to realize that the $230 not only is feeding and clothing your son, but it is the father's contribution to the baby's portion of the rent, utilities, and transportation expenses. As previously stated, if you lower the child support payments or take him off of child support; it will be harder to increase or refile later.

You need to focus on the welfare of your child. I hope he is not trying to smooth things over with you so you can drop the child support case. Please don't fall for that con.

Yes thanks I am focused on my child. I am happy that you ladies have helped.

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My son has a decent father. Spends bookoodles of time with him and does all of the fatherly things that he should do. I won't say the exact amount, but he pays me between $600-$900 a month in child support and I have never felt bad about that amount and never will. And neither should you. And he knows not to fix his mouth in any shape, form, or fashion to complain to me about what he pays to take care of his son.

Exactly I feel like it shouldn't have been a problem from the jump.

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Sorry OP I think it's pathetic that the COURT was the one that got child support instead of YOU doing it for your kid from the beginning..seems like you rather put this half and half relationship over the benefit of your child

Instead of whining about losing money he should have ben more proactive in protecting his sperm from such situations

Well when u get assistance they automatically put u on it. I don't really value the relationship I just don't like tension around my son. That's all. As far as the relationship I don't really dwell on it because I have a nice guy in my life who helps and is always there for me.

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This is why I don't think OP should ask for an appeal.

And he should take his trifling momma to court.[/QUOTE]

@ the Red, he probably would so he can put more money in his moms pocket - seems like he cares about her more than his offspring.

@ both bolded-s Yes, Yes and YES. I don't understand being ok with your child being in shiesty situations at day care and possibly going hungry/without but OK with paying off debt your mother accumulted while you were a child and beig ok with her taking money directly from your child.

Yes that's what I explained her. She tried to act like ahead knew nothing of it asking me why did I have a baby with him. I was pissed I said it wasn't her place to ask.

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Since he's already stopped paying your grandparents, he already has a habit of "paying when he feels like it.". I would keep him on the child support. It's about your SON. And just because you have a good job now doesn't absolve him of his responsibility.

And tell his mama to stay out of it.

Thank u I appreciate your advice :-)

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I would get all that I can in child support and open a SAVINGS account for my child. You never know what may happen in the future . $230 is peanuts and the child may not need a lot now, but he will shortly.
The mother sounds a hot mess. Hugs for you OP.

Thanks Yemaya
I plan on adding that to his savings account I already have for him.

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Sounds like he cannot afford to have sex until he can pay his mother rent (presuming that is why he gives mom money) and support his kid(s).

Do not lower his child support. I know someone who took her live in boyfriend to court for support since he had several kids by different women. It worked out fine and they eventually got married. She was protecting her child and he really could not be upset.


She is very greedy. She take he money he gets even month for his son and lies about it. That's not my business but I hear about it from him

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Sounds like he cannot afford to have sex until he can pay his mother rent (presuming that is why he gives mom money) and support his kid(s).

Do not lower his child support. I know someone who took her live in boyfriend to court for support since he had several kids by different women. It worked out fine and they eventually got married. She was protecting her child and he really could not be upset.

I agree yes he lives with a friend they go half on rent and utilities. I will not lower it because you ladies have made me feel better about my decision .
 
$230 monthly isn't a whole lot for ANY man that has a child to pay. That only amounts to about $2,760 annually, I'd be asking for an increase. Why should all of the financial burden fall on you? Regardless of you having a great paying job, it's called responsibility and it's time for your son's father to MAN UP!
 
Please do not lower the support order. Your financial situation could change at any moment and you made need to rely on that support money...in the meantime put the money in savings acct. or a college fund for your son.
 
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