Update: He Stroked Her Hand.

[GetHappy2014]

@GetHappy2014 here's a few things that stand out to me me:

1) your gut instinct was that something was wrong and not innocent about the touching
2) your intuition only 'changed' after he rationalised it for you
3) you keep calling him "your guy" in quotes as if you're not even sure where you guys stand
4) you're putting the onus solely on the other woman about how she reacted to his advances while dismissing the fact that he was also flirting with her. Even if she had reacted by slapping his hand away, doesn't change the fact he was trying to caress her hand

From what you said, they both seem like they're wrong and get off on tiny inappropriate reminders of a shared intimacy that shouldn't be. Just my thought.

The only person who is qualified to address the interactions and reactions of the people who were present that day/evening is me. How can you possibly draw conclusions to an event you didn't even witness? Girl, please move on....I'm sure you have more important things to attend to.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

@GetHappy2014 I say this with kindness. The only way this thread will die is if you stop responding. That's the downside to the relationship forum. You will get some good advice but also everyone and their mama will state their redundant opinion, and a few are just here for entertainment. The more defensive you get, the harder they will come at you. Just let it die on its own.

 

[HappyMadison]

Did it get more serious? He is now "your dude" so did the relationship progress? If so, congratulations.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

@Kalani, complete co-sign!!! I'm glad this forum exists so that we can all learn from each other and make better life decisions. I certainly would do some things differently if I could go back in time with the knowledge I have now...



Re-quoting this part for emphasis...but I also want to add don't "waste all your pretty" on him or give one guy all of your best years, especially if you are not married to him or on the road to being married. And even then, you should still have your own interests and keep your life going. Don't make his life your whole life, if that makes sense.

To me, on the road to being married is actively planning a wedding and getting ready to walk down the aisle in a few months. Not "discussing" marriage, fake-shopping for a ring or any of the other ploys men like to use to make you think they're about that life.

Know your end game and find out what his end game is early in the game so that you can adjust quickly, change up your plays and move on if you don't share the same interests.

Doing that will prevent you from wasting a lot of time in relationships and "situationships."

Can you expand?

 

[MissNina]

@GetHappy2014 I say this with kindness. The only way this thread will die is if you stop responding. That's the downside to the relationship forum. You will get some good advice but also everyone and their mama will state their redundant opinion, and a few are just here for entertainment. The more defensive you get, the harder they will come at you. Just let it die on its own.

All of this.

But I will say the girl did tell everybody quite frankly several times she was choosing to let it slide and why so if she that's what she is gonna do, I don't see the point in continuing to "break down" her thought process and advising her on it. I can see how that would be annoying.

 

[hopeful]

Any updates @GetHappy2014?

 

[Evolving78]

@quirkydimples I apologize for getting in your business but are you getting child support? The way you talk about not knowing where he is makes me think you may not be. If you aren't, please take action on this. He can't skip out on his financial obligation unless you let him.

If she doesn't need it and not seeking it is a way of safety and peace of mind, then she should leave him where he is. Keep him away.