He doesn't like to meet other ppl?

[caltron]

It's called SOCIAL ANXIETY.

He's okay, he just doesn't feel comfortable in certain situations, and around lots of people. There's so many people like him.

It would be a mistake to automatically label this as social anxiety. People who have social anxiety want to be social, but get physical symptoms of anxiety that prevent them from doing so.

However, there are many people who are introverted and just plain don't like social settings. They don't experience anxiety when in large groups and have no desire whatsoever to be the life of the party. No amount of therapy or drugs is going to get them to change their *preference*.

Introverted people can be very misunderstood and extroverted people need to learn to respect differences. So be careful when throwing out a label, because I for one would be pretty ticked if someone tried to say I had a mental disorder just because I don't want to hang out.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Ive met my SO's friends once in passing and thats all I prefer. My friends are my friends and his are his.

You want a true red flag? Him not taking her anywhere at all and only suggesting "house" dates and giving her excuses as to why they cant go anywhere or do anything in a public setting If he were doing this then Id start questioning his character

Otherwise I dont see the big deal in him wanting to hang out with her friends.

 

[Kutie85]

I'm introverted and my boyfriend is more social than me. There is always a bowling night, a game night, a birthday event, holiday party. I think it depends on if the friends make you feel comfortable. It's only so many hours that I want to listen to stories about college and inside jokes before I die of boredom. I think a lot of people expect it to be like on tv where the couple and friends turn into one big family.

Essentially you are dating that person not their friends. I have to feel people out before out before I start revealing things about myself to people. Extroverts will tell you their whole life story in the first five minutes of meeting. I think it depends on how important the social aspect of dating is. Is this something you can be patient and work on with him or would you be better suited with a guy that was more outgoing. In my relationship my boyfriend was able to pull out the outgoing part of me and i think my introverted part made him more comfortable with just chilling and not being out all the time.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Introverted people can be very misunderstood and extroverted people need to learn to respect differences.

I couldn't say thank you enough for saying this. I don't know how many extroverted people I have wanted to say this too. I mean, they can really ride your back on wanting to know why your not extroverted like them. Hello, everyone has different personalities and aren't going to be like you.

And why is it that extroverts are always trying to change an intro into an extro??? erplexed Well, not everyone and not always but that's been my experience.

 

[qchelle]

^^^YES! I hate it when I meet a new person and within the 1st 5 minutes of meeting them they're like 'are you ok? you're really quiet. is something wrong?' omg shutup! I don't know you! But they're just a rattling off at the mouth telling me about their life! jeez!

 

[*CherryPie*]

Well, that's what it sounds like he has to me. I can be wrong. I'm human.....and I don't mind being wrong sometimes.

....and just because someone says something about you, doesn't mean that you have to believe it.....so there's no reason for you to get your panties in a bunch.

It would be a mistake to automatically label this as social anxiety. People who have social anxiety want to be social, but get physical symptoms of anxiety that prevent them from doing so.

However, there are many people who are introverted and just plain don't like social settings. They don't experience anxiety when in large groups and have no desire whatsoever to be the life of the party. No amount of therapy or drugs is going to get them to change their *preference*.

Introverted people can be very misunderstood and extroverted people need to learn to respect differences. So be careful when throwing out a label, because I for one would be pretty ticked if someone tried to say I had a mental disorder just because I don't want to hang out.

 

[DarkAngell]

i'm this way to. If it were up to me we would never go anywhere with friends and always just be by ourselves. We have to compromise since he is the complete opposite. He goes out much less now......but when he wants to I don't hold him back. Out of maybe 6 times of us BOTH being invited somewhere (or him inviting) , I'll FORCE myself to go maybe ONCE.

 

[Vshanell]

I'm the same way. I really hate meeting new people. I'm an introvert and very shy. It takes me a while to warm up around new people but when I do I'm a totally different person....down to earth and will have everybody cracking up.

I don't think there's anything wrong with this guy....it's just his way. It's a chore for me to go to events most times and I'd rather save myself the stress so I usually decline, even when around family.

 

[Vshanell]

i'm this way to. If it were up to me we would never go anywhere with friends and always just be by ourselves. We have to compromise since he is the complete opposite. He goes out much less now......but when he wants to I don't hold him back. Out of maybe 6 times of us BOTH being invited somewhere (or him inviting) , I'll FORCE myself to go maybe ONCE.

That's what my mom suggest to me about SO. She said I should at least make an appearance once in a while instead of declining every single time. I'm gonna try but it will take much effort.

 

[Vshanell]

This thread reminded me when I used to hang out with a good friend and all of a sudden she would just randomly show up with another one of her friends when it was supposed to just be us two. I totally freaked out after she did this to me a few times and had to take a break from hanging with her. Just the presence of one other unknown person freaked me out that bad, lol. I felt like such a dork about it, lol. Now I don't feel so bad. Sorry to be OT!

 

[caltron]

Well, that's what it sounds like he has to me. I can be wrong. I'm human.....and I don't mind being wrong sometimes.

....and just because someone says something about you, doesn't mean that you have to believe it.....so there's no reason for you to get your panties in a bunch.

I didn't take any offense. I was just trying to correct a *very* common misperception about introverted people and I hope you didn't take any offense either. It wasn't really meant to be directed at you, but just to make the OP aware that bringing up SAD with her SO could lead to even more friction.

I doubt her dude has SAD because if he did, he probably wouldn't be going to his friend's wedding.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

I feel better around the people I know than the people DH knows. I prefer to be around people who have shown they care about me. [B]I'm sure I'm not the only one like that.[/QUO[/B]TE]

you're not, it's a ton of us out here!

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

This thread reminded me when I used to hang out with a good friend and all of a sudden she would just randomly show up with another one of her friends when it was supposed to just be us two. I totally freaked out after she did this to me a few times and had to take a break from hanging with her. Just the presence of one other unknown person freaked me out that bad, lol. I felt like such a dork about it, lol. Now I don't feel so bad. Sorry to be OT!

Don't worry about it, I'm the same way. I've had too many times where I thought it was just going to be me and the person I invited and then get there and I'm looking at their friends too. Totally irritates me so that's one reason why I just do my own thing...alone.

 

[locabouthair]

I think it's a little strange. JMO.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I wasn't offended. I just felt that maybe my comment hit some kind of nerve with you, that you was taking this too personally.

About her guy not going to his friend's weddin if he had SAD is not completely true.

People with Social Anxiety Disorder DO go places, especially with friends and relatives, although they may feel uncomfortable or even anxious. It's the mixing with strangers, co-workers, or people they don't know well that they usually cancel on. Those are the gatherings that they usually turn down.

I'm not a Psychiatrist, so I can't diagnose her SO......

None of us really KNOW what's going on with him. People hide things pretty well.

I didn't take any offense. I was just trying to correct a *very* common misperception about introverted people and I hope you didn't take any offense either. It wasn't really meant to be directed at you, but just to make the OP aware that bringing up SAD with her SO could lead to even more friction.

I doubt her dude has SAD because if he did, he probably wouldn't be going to his friend's wedding.

 

[MissHoney26]

I'm the same way. All I have is 1 friend that I've kept in touch w/ for years & family. That's it! My boyfriend is the exact opposite of me he's a social butterly and I'm more reserved and only talk more to people I already know. I hate it because people think I'm stuck up or mean, but I have a great personality I just don't feel comfortable around people I don't know. So I guess you can say he might have a little social anxiety.

 

[sky_blu]

Ok, so I see Im not in a minority. I don't like meeting the family and friends of the others fam either but it can backfire. I lost the LOML bc he felt that I was ashamed of him and didn't care because of it. I didn't think it was that important but apparently it was. I didn't want to for reasons I'll save but it backfired on me.