Unhealthy Paranoia: Created by your interactions with men close to you

[okange76]

I’m just curious. Do you find that having too many close male associates be it family, friends, or coworkers makes you distrust most men who approach you? I’m talking about the ones who hip you to all the mind games men play and the signs to watch for, or they are just too comfortable around you to hide their trifling ways. You in turn, overanalyze the various stories/situations to the point of developing an unhealthy paranoia towards men.

Has this ever cost you a potentially good relationship because you spent so much time waiting for the shoe to drop instead of getting to know this person on an individual level?

How did you overcome it and learn to trust? What was it about this person that made you feel safe?

My Story: My brothers and I lived together for many years during and after college. One of the biggest mistakes of my life. I still look at my SILs with pity even though college was over 10 years ago and my brothers are now all doting fathers and husbands. They met their spouses long after we stopped living together. Guess who is still single with trust issues??

 

[Glamorous_chic]

i won't say its unhealthy paranoia, just that you are knowledgeable to their game. i will say seeing their interactions with their so's and the information they have passed along, does make me think twice concerning alot of interactions with men i have. i used to dismiss the advice their advice, but i realize that i was just being naive and too trusting. i used to be very clueless, wondering why why why, and i still find myself feeling that, but not to the same degree. trust has to be earned, and everyone doesn't deserve it. i said all that to say i don't think it is unhealthy paranoia, just being cautious. also, i think if you find the right person, they won't necessarily do anything to make you second guess if they are lying, how they feel, are they really interested...

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I think my male family members have unintentionally hipped me to other (negative) men. I think of it as a blessing in a way. I don't have to waste time figuring out why dude is so messed up. I see it, recognize it, and move far away lol.

Sent from my VM670 using VM670

 

[cheryl26]

I've lived around many cousins, my brother etc and I don't think being aware of their dating patterns affected my choice in a spouse. I can't say any of them were out to play games, they were always in search of a spouse from their late teens. I do know many guys in college who liked to toot about their promiscuous and mind gaming ways but at the end of the day I knew most of them were all talk.

 

[Truth]

Nope, My male friends /cousins are slores of slores, and all it did was put me on to game. I sat back, I watched how they operate, I took notes, and kept my eyes open. Situations like that shouldn't cause paranoia, it should be a learning experience.

 

[Kimgirl50]

Nope. You see them in slore mode but you also see them when their actually sprung and how much their willing to do to show it to their SO.

You also realize men are terrible at hiding how they feel.

 

[CarolinaGal]

Nope, My male friends /cousins are slores of slores, and all it did was put me on to game. I sat back, I watched how they operate, I took notes, and kept my eyes open. Situations like that shouldn't cause paranoia, it should be a learning experience.

Nope. You see them in slore mode but you also see them when their actually sprung and how much their willing to do to show it to their SO.

You also realize men are terrible at hiding how they feel.

Exactly. It has made my experiences much better because I know what the real deal is. I know a good man from a buster and am thankful that there are some things that I didn't have to learn on my own.