Trying To Be In My Feminine Energy, But It's Hard

[Silkycoils]

Hey y'all,

I desire a man who cherishes and adores me . . .one who operates in his masculine energy. I'm very masculine energy in my life because that's just how I am. I was a single mother, so I'm used to getting things done, and I'm very assertive in general (I'm a Sag ). Anywho, I lose my patience with men . . .quickly. I run into these guys who like to text exclusively and excessively . . .and I hate that. I try to drop hints and say that I don't really like texting, I'd love to hear their voice , or I wait hours to respond , but my "masculine energy" self just wants to say, "Don't text me. If you have something to say, call me", but I'm pretty sure this would be masculine. This is exhausting!
I may just "be myself" for awhile, since I'm not getting the results I want anyway. Minus well have fun with it.

ETA: I believe that impatience stems from anxiousness to an extent, but I just don't like people to waste my time. I'm not pressed for them, but once I check out, I'm ALL the way out. Like, I'm not the type who can patiently ignore repeated texts . . .I'll either block them or scorch the earth completely. I just prefer to associate with people who make the effort to actually engage.

 

[Evolving78]

Just say I don’t engage in personal conversations through text. He is going to have to work in order to get to know you, and that means he is going to have to be open to a set of different standards.
That pick up artist stuff folks play out here is for the kiddies. How many men are calling women early in the morning just to say good morning? Or calling before bedtime just to say goodnight? Calling you in the middle of the day just to say hello and I just wanted to hear your voice? Not many..and why? Because that can be disruptive to anything to all parties involved, especially if you aren’t exclusive.
game recognize game.
Keep your standards. That’s not being masculine, that’s setting a boundary. Let some other woman sit on her phone and type away.

 

[Theresamonet]

I’m not a scholar in these feminine arts y’all be studying. I actually think it’s kind of strange... But I personally don’t feel that being feminine means I need to be passive aggressive. I’d just tell them outright that I do not text and if they want to get to know me, they need to call... If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

 

[LdyKamz]

Staying in your feminine energy is simply being and not doing. Just be yourself. If you like the guy and are actually interested in talking on the phone tell him. If he calls, great. If not, then you can do what you normally do which is delete and block. There is a difference between doing/saying something to get a reaction and doing/saying something simply because this is how you want it and regardless of the reaction, knowing that if you don't get what you want you will kindly move along. Taking hours to respond to texts does not get the point across that you 'd rather talk on the phone (IMO). If I'm not responding to a text it's because either I'm busy or I don't want to talk to you. Period. Not because I want to talk to you but you aren't coming at me the way I want so I'm going to do this stuff until you do. Having said that, saying you don't like texting and would love to hear their voice is not a hint. It's a concrete statement that they chose to ignore. After that you can do what you want. All sounds feminine to me.

 

[Silkycoils]

Thanks Y'all. I just got another "Hey beautiful, how is your day going?" text. We met on Saturday . . .ain't picked up the phone yet. I now know what I'm going to do! To thine own self be true!

 

[JFemme]

Not because I want to talk to you but you aren't coming at me the way I want so I'm going to do this stuff until you do. .

Your entire post was spot on

But this - check mate

 

[kupenda]

Staying in your feminine energy is simply being and not doing. Just be yourself. If you like the guy and are actually interested in talking on the phone tell him. If he calls, great. If not, then you can do what you normally do which is delete and block. There is a difference between doing/saying something to get a reaction and doing/saying something simply because this is how you want it and regardless of the reaction, knowing that if you don't get what you want you will kindly move along. Taking hours to respond to texts does not get the point across that you 'd rather talk on the phone (IMO). If I'm not responding to a text it's because either I'm busy or I don't want to talk to you. Period. Not because I want to talk to you but you aren't coming at me the way I want so I'm going to do this stuff until you do. Having said that, saying you don't like texting and would love to hear their voice is not a hint. It's a concrete statement that they chose to ignore. After that you can do what you want. All sounds feminine to me.

For emphasis

Staying feminine doesn’t mean not having boundaries. You are clear but not pushy. Any man that saw your text about wanting to talk on the phone but refused to call you, has shown you who he is. He’s still gonna do him. You should do you

 

[Mai Tai]

Thanks Y'all. I just got another "Hey beautiful, how is your day going?" text. We met on Saturday . . .ain't picked up the phone yet. I now know what I'm going to do! To thine own self be true!

That's the spirit!!! Remember...one of the most womanly things you can do is be your true authentic self unapologetically.

If you are not feeling all of this texting, let him know and don't communicate further with him unless he picks up the phone and calls you. It really is that simple.

 

[Mai Tai]

For emphasis

Staying feminine doesn’t mean not having boundaries. You are clear but not pushy. Any man that saw your text about wanting to talk on the phone but refused to call you, has shown you who he is. He’s still gonna do him. You should do you

Quoting, bolding, and highlighting for the people in the back!

 

[Froreal3]

Being feminine has nothing to do with not letting negrums know that you don’t partake in certain things. If you don’t like to text and you don’t be have text conversations, then just say so. Any man that continues to ignore such a simple request can git! It’s really not that serious. Just be true to yourself and the right man will be true to you.

 

[Theresamonet]

Remember...one of the most womanly things you can do is be your true authentic self unapologetically.

Bolding and quoting for the people in the back. Lol

 

[THicknLong]

Being feminine has nothing to do with not letting negrums know that you don’t partake in certain things. If you don’t like to text and you don’t be have text conversations, then just say so. Any man that continues to ignore such a simple request can git! It’s really not that serious. Just be true to yourself and the right man will be true to you.

I completely agree. My SO and I are not texters. As we got to know each other, we only text to check in or to tell each other we are on the way to meet up somewhere. I will have brief phone conversations. He respects my boundaries on how I communicate. Don’t feel bad, before I met him, I instantly cut people off that didn’t respect how I communicate. This generation doesn’t set boundaries. I loved that I joined this forum because I set boundaries with everyone in my life.

 

[THicknLong]

Hey y'all,

I desire a man who cherishes and adores me . . .one who operates in his masculine energy. I'm very masculine energy in my life because that's just how I am. I was a single mother, so I'm used to getting things done, and I'm very assertive in general (I'm a Sag ). Anywho, I lose my patience with men . . .quickly. I run into these guys who like to text exclusively and excessively . . .and I hate that. I try to drop hints and say that I don't really like texting, I'd love to hear their voice , or I wait hours to respond , but my "masculine energy" self just wants to say, "Don't text me. If you have something to say, call me", but I'm pretty sure this would be masculine. This is exhausting!
I may just "be myself" for awhile, since I'm not getting the results I want anyway. Minus well have fun with it.

ETA: I believe that impatience stems from anxiousness to an extent, but I just don't like people to waste my time. I'm not pressed for them, but once I check out, I'm ALL the way out. Like, I'm not the type who can patiently ignore repeated texts . . .I'll either block them or scorch the earth completely. I just prefer to associate with people who make the effort to actually engage.

Be direct!! Tell them you don’t text. If he is truly serious about pursuing you, he will call. Girl Just be you!! You will meet a man that is definitely more Masculine. With my SO I had to learn how to let the reigns go and let him lead.I knew what I wanted in a man, so when I met him and he asked if I was independent, I said hell naw . I don’t lift a finger when I am around him. If he only knew girl I cook, clean, I have OCD ( I really want to organize his closet lol). I knew I wanted a man to adore me in every way.. he does just that. Girl I told my girlfriends my purses are accessories!! He is well aware I work hard and I can do everything for myself. He’s also a bit bossy when I want to do things for myself lol (which is hilarious to me). I wrote a list in exactly what I want in a man this year. He has checked off every box but one.. keep praying and make that list! Trust me I am very aggressive and I met my match with this one lol.

 

[Silkycoils]

Be direct!! Tell them you don’t text. If he is truly serious about pursuing you, he will call. Girl Just be you!! You will meet a man that is definitely more Masculine. With my SO I had to learn how to let the reigns go and let him lead.I knew what I wanted in a man, so when I met him and he asked if I was independent, I said hell naw . I don’t lift a finger when I am around him. If he only knew girl I cook, clean, I have OCD ( I really want to organize his closet lol). I knew I wanted a man to adore me in every way.. he does just that. Girl I told my girlfriends my purses are accessories!! He is well aware I work hard and I can do everything for myself. He’s also a bit bossy when I want to do things for myself lol (which is hilarious to me). I wrote a list in exactly what I want in a man this year. He has checked off every box but one.. keep praying and make that list! Trust me I am very aggressive and I met my match with this one lol.

Congratulations Sis! Yes, I'm no longer even willing to play coy and give "hints." I'm standing firm in my boundaries. He certainly wasn't God's best for me.

 

[Southernbella.]

"I don't like texting, I want to hear your voice" is about as feminine as you can get. If they aren't obliging, it's because they don't respect your feelings/wishes. That's a them problem, not a you problem.

 

[Maracujá]

I’m not a scholar in these feminine arts y’all be studying. I actually think it’s kind of strange... But I personally don’t feel that being feminine means I need to be passive aggressive. I’d just tell them outright that I do not text and if they want to get to know me, they need to call... If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Care to expound on this please? TIA.

 

[aribell]

I think that telling him what you prefer without telling him what he needs to do is the difference between feminine and masculine energy. If he doesn't engage in the way you prefer, you don't have to engage on his terms.

 

[THicknLong]

I think that telling him what you prefer without telling him what he needs to do is the difference between feminine and masculine energy. If he doesn't engage in the way you prefer, you don't have to engage on his terms.

I completely agree. The way we communicate an issue is definitely the problem most times. I am also guilty of this. I find myself taking a step back and thinking about things I want to say to my SO before I say it, so not to offend him and so that he is receptive.

 

[Petal26]

I haven't read the whole thread yet, but I wanted to say being in your feminine energy is being in the present (in your body doing your thing), not in your head. If you feel like telling somebody that you'd prefer talking instead of texting, then do it. Don't be in your head trying to find a way to sound a certain way, that puts you back in your masculine energy.

 

[Maracujá]

^^^^How do you balance that out with being an INTJ and constantly in your head?

 

[silverbuttons]

When giving your number “I can’t wait to hear your voice and get to know more about you when you call” (when I’m feeling a bit feisty, I might say.. I love men who can initiate and call me, are you that type of guy)

I think you did the sexy/feminine thing to say “I want to hear your voice”
My script is similar “it would make me so happy/pleased/blahblah to hear your voice right now”

I’m a bit strict about my phone time, so I tell men when they can call me.

Them: good morning, beautiful. How are you.
Me: haven’t heard your voice in a while...
Them: something something
Me: (acknowledge what they say) I’m usually available from (here to here), would be happy to talk to you soon.
Them: something something
Me: If it’s an excuse .. radio silence / if he confirms .. excited! Ttyl!

If they can’t, oh well.. I’d rather spend my free time sending memes to my girlfriends.

(I’ve learned a lot of what I know from a mixture of LHCF, feminine teachers, books and podcasts... I love learning about feminine ways.. it’s an art, but everyone’s iteration of it should look different)

 

[silverbuttons]

Anyways, the best lesson I’ve ever learned is to attach your genuine positive feeling to your request or boundary.

“ it would make me... “
“ i really like when...”

Etc etc. Makes men feel like they are achieving something.

 

[Saludable84]

^^^^How do you balance that out with being an INTJ and constantly in your head?

Staying in the present and focusing on only what is within your control. If you are thinking too much, meditate in the dark or with a mask or shirt over your eyes (maybe just close your eyes) and free your mind.

 

[Petal26]

^^^^How do you balance that out with being an INTJ and constantly in your head?

It was very, very hard for me because I was not aware of it. When I read "The Power of Now" it just clicked. I was floored. I was so much in head my mind had control of me. Now I see my mind (and my masculine energy) as another tool in my tool box. It's not in control anymore. I'm still working on this, of course, but the difference is outstanding.

I gotta read that book again cause it totally changed things for me.