Texting etiquette question . . .

luckiestdestiny said:
FOR ME , this is when you say "bruh" :lachen:, not when someone texts in the morning. Dude was probably texting from one of his stints :look: :rofl: THIS is the "bruh" text moment or the silence moment on the other end of a phone :dead:

This whole thing is too much. The beginning was too much.

I love that I also have the gift of getting people to spill without even asking a question. It's a gift and a curse. We are blessed though to be able to haul :massmoon: right away upon learning said info. Good for you. You've just filtered another one and are on your way to the guy of your dreams. You've gotten one of the dudes in your way out of your way! :lol:

Oh well. NEXT.
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Yeah this story is crazy but it doesn’t prove anything about texts-it’s just a text :lol:

If anything it reaffirms my belief that black dating apps are full of undesirables :look:

I think women should stay off dating apps in general if they want something real,but definitely don’t go on the “black ones”-I’ve never heard good things
 
Theresamonet said:
I’m stuck on the fact that this ex-drug dealing, government scamming, child kidnapping, nose fracturing, trifling ninja got his shot at not one, but at least two attorneys... What dating site was this again? Their algorithm is off. lol

@Silkycoils Have you ever considered a matchmaker?
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:lachen: He ain't have alla that in his profile. :lachen: He presents as "clean-ish" cut, and he's decent-looking facially. I wasn't interested in him because he's 5'9" and I'm 5'11", but he asked if I might be interested in building a friendship at least. I'm normally not interested in that, but I said "sure", and here we are. :lachen:
I was on black people meet.
I'd totally be down for a matchmaker, depending on the price. My younger Son actually suggested that, but he said I should go to a Black male matchmaker. I asked him why a Black male, and he says, "Men are basically the same and fall into three general categories (in relation to dating): 1. Men who are lames, and don't get a lot of women, 2. Men who are somewhere in the middle and do alright with women, like himself, and 3. Men who do well with women. Women are different, and what works for one woman won't necessarily work for another." Seemed rather simplistic, but he's actually got a lot of wisdom for his age (24).

Eh . . .tis the story of my life to date. On another episode of "Silkycoils' Awkward Adventures and Dating Mishaps", I'll have to tell y'all about when I finally met a man who has been forwarding me my emails for YEARS . . .like maybe since college. Our email addresses are nearly identical, and he would forward them to me. Well, we recently met and . . .



:lachen: :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

That's for another time. Sure, I'd love to meet my soulmate, but I'm basically okay (doing well actually--minus the Vitamin D :look: :laugh: ). Men express interest in me, but they're either not what I'm looking for, or their interest isn't strong enough. I have a guy friend who claims he's had a crush on me for the longest, but he hasn't invited me out yet! And we're casual friends, so Ion wanna hear nothing about him being intimidated. Blah-blah-blah, etc., etc. :laugh:
 
Silkycoils said:
:lachen: He ain't have alla that in his profile. :lachen: He presents as "clean-ish" cut, and he's decent-looking facially. I wasn't interested in him because he's 5'9" and I'm 5'11", but he asked if I might be interested in building a friendship at least. I'm normally not interested in that, but I said "sure", and here we are. :lachen:
I was on black people meet.
I'd totally be down for a matchmaker, depending on the price. My younger Son actually suggested that, but he said I should go to a Black male matchmaker. I asked him why a Black male, and he says, "Men are basically the same and fall into three general categories (in relation to dating): 1. Men who are lames, and don't get a lot of women, 2. Men who are somewhere in the middle and do alright with women, like himself, and 3. Men who do well with women. Women are different, and what works for one woman won't necessarily work for another." Seemed rather simplistic, but he's actually got a lot of wisdom for his age (24).

Eh . . .tis the story of my life to date. On another episode of "Silkycoils' Awkward Adventures and Dating Mishaps", I'll have to tell y'all about when I finally met a man who has been forwarding me my emails for YEARS . . .like maybe since college. Our email addresses are nearly identical, and he would forward them to me. Well, we recently met and . . .



:lachen: :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

That's for another time. Sure, I'd love to meet my soulmate, but I'm basically okay (doing well actually--minus the Vitamin D :look: :laugh: ). Men express interest in me, but they're either not what I'm looking for, or their interest isn't strong enough. I have a guy friend who claims he's had a crush on me for the longest, but he hasn't invited me out yet! And we're casual friends, so Ion wanna hear nothing about him being intimidated. Blah-blah-blah, etc., etc. :laugh:
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I know he didn’t put that on his profile. :lol: But still... It got me thinking about how accessible (and available) good, professional women are to losers. I don’t think the same can be said in reverse, from what I hear from my dating women friends and associates.

I think everyone could be placed in those 3 basic categories your son detailed. Everyone either has a low, moderate, or high amount of interest from the opposite sex. But why does that mean you need a black male matchmaker? That would honestly be my last choice. Black men make too many concessions and excuses for each other, I wouldn’t trust it. But go by their verifiable track record more than anything.
 
Theresamonet said:
I know he didn’t put that on his profile. :lol: But still... It got me thinking about how accessible (and available) good, professional women are to losers. I don’t think the same can be said in reverse, from what I hear from my dating women friends and associates.

I think everyone could be placed in those 3 basic categories your son detailed. Everyone either has a low, moderate, or high amount of interest from the opposite sex. But why does that mean you need a black male matchmaker? That would honestly be my last choice. Black men make too many concessions and excuses for each other, I wouldn’t trust it. But go by their verifiable track record more than anything.
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I agree. That's just his perspective as a 24 year old male. He said a man knows how other men think. He was just shooting out ideas. I was actually surprised that he suggested it, as he is generally opposed to me being on dating sites. He said he will settle down when I do. :laugh: He wants me to find love. :)
 
Rocky91 said:
-This might come across antiquated, but try to wean him out of texting you at all. When now-DH was auditioning to be a boyfriend, I didn’t accept long conversations via text (we are late 20s, early 30s btw ).Texting is honestly symbolic of low-effort for me, so requiring a phone conversation took some men out of the running who didn’t want to make an effort.
-Consider a different website to broaden the pool. :look: I wasn’t an extensive online dater, but I do remember that particular site being full of undesirables.
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@Rocky91 - which dating site would you suggest? I'm thinking about using one.
 
Silkycoils said:
So I am trying online dating . . .again. I'm on black people meet. I gave this guy my number. He texts me today for the first time at 6:47 a.m. Would y'all find that disrespectful/impolite? I would not ever text someone that early, unless we had a close relationship like that or maybe an emergency (but then I would just call). Two of my friends say I'm being too strict. I didn't go off on him, I just replied back "Bruh . . . ." :lachen:

One of my friends said just simply respond when I was ready, and that he'd get the hint after a few times. I think that's good advice, but I was simply appalled that he would text me at that hour. :lachen:

I guess I just expect people to have a certain amount of respect for people's boundaries, especially when just getting to know someone. Anywho . . .I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts (might request to delete this later :lachen: ).
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Yes, I would. One is actually never supposed to call or text anyone, before 9am. It's important to give the other person the time to actually awake. Let that person pray / meditate / do yoga or whatever first. Calling someone before 9am, is basically setting oneself up to encountering a groggy person. Not everyone is a morning person :lol:.

Often times we think communicating our boundaries will make us be seen as bad people. But smart people actually learn from it. One young lady from our church started texting me after 10pm. Kindly reminded her not to text me after 10pm, unless it's a life threatening emergency. Might seem harsh, but of course, it all depends on what type of job you have, the workload you carry in your household, how social you are during the week,...etc. We all need to rest and wind down. This particular lady looks so exhausted all the time. She's in her 20s. She works on Sundays too, reminds me of me when I was around that age. :nono:
 
LadyPBC said:
@Rocky91 - which dating site would you suggest? I'm thinking about using one.
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I met some decent men on OkCupid, but that feels like a long time ago (2013), so I can’t vouch for it now. It seemed to have a good concentration of normal folks genuinely interested in relationships and didn’t come across as a hook-up site. I also liked the Black singles’ groups for my city on meetup.com. Good for networking at art galleries, happy hours, that sort of thing, and a few decent dudes.

Ultimately I did end up meeting DH out in “the real world” and not online.
 
Rocky91 said:
I met some decent men on OkCupid, but that feels like a long time ago (2013), so I can’t vouch for it now. It seemed to have a good concentration of normal folks genuinely interested in relationships and didn’t come across as a hook-up site. I also liked the Black singles’ groups for my city on meetup.com. Good for networking at art galleries, happy hours, that sort of thing, and a few decent dudes.

Ultimately I did end up meeting DH out in “the real world” and not online.
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How did you respond when he approached you? What was your body language? Conversation like? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. TIA in case you oblige :grin:.
 
Maracujá said:
How did you respond when he approached you? What was your body language? Conversation like? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. TIA in case you oblige :grin:.
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I was quite tipsy from some tequila :look: so my body language was probably a drink in my hand, but I am fairly friendly in general. We chatted about being alumni from the same school, did a little dancing (party setting), then he asked for my number.

something I did that I think is key: I am a girl’s girl, so I’m always going out with large groups of girlfriends. But I always have a moment where I step away alone, under the guise of going to get a drink or whatever and that’s when I usually got approached.
 
kimpaur said:
Yeah this story is crazy but it doesn’t prove anything about texts-it’s just a text :lol:

If anything it reaffirms my belief that black dating apps are full of undesirables :look:

I think women should stay off dating apps in general if they want something real,but definitely don’t go on the “black ones”-I’ve never heard good things
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BPM was trash when I checked it out years ago but I don't think that's true of black sites in general. Most free or inexpensive sites have lower quality men. Some could be great but they're harder to find because you're wading through all the others who signed up on a whim looking for hookups. They're posting pics trying to look cool showing off bird chests in bathroom pics, blurring out women's faces in their pics, etc. People who pay a little more put more effort into it.
 
Rocky91 said:
I was quite tipsy from some tequila :look: so my body language was probably a drink in my hand, but I am fairly friendly in general. We chatted about being alumni from the same school, did a little dancing (party setting), then he asked for my number.

something I did that I think is key: I am a girl’s girl, so I’m always going out with large groups of girlfriends. But I always have a moment where I step away alone, under the guise of going to get a drink or whatever and that’s when I usually got approached.
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Yassss! Old-skool, me likes that :grin:

Was this at a lounge bar? The usual parties we used to go to in my late teens / early twenties, are pretty much obsolete here. Attempts to resuscitate that vibe are failing miserably :nono: .

Thank you for sharing your story, takes me back to the good ol' days, from 20 years ago :cloud9: .
 
I'm late to the thread but this was an interesting story I thought it was just about text time - which I don't have a time requirement because my phone stays on silent I'll respond when I get a chance. I'm glad you walked on that one though.
 
sky_blu said:
I'm late to the thread but this was an interesting story I thought it was just about text time - which I don't have a time requirement because my phone stays on silent I'll respond when I get a chance. I'm glad you walked on that one though.
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Same. I don’t care when people text or email. I just respond to texts or emails when I’m awake and available. To me completely different from a phone call. That’s assuming the person texting super early or late is not expecting an immediate reply. Then I would be annoyed.
 
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