To stay or not to stay??? Please help!

[BAP28]

lololol--- over 30 and your money aint right--hell nah..

he has to go...and its only been 4 months so i think he is taking advantage of your kindness...and i think homeboy needs to step his game up-move outta his expensive studio and get his ish together...asapppppppp

Uh baabee you know he ain't da man fo you. Helz he ain't the man for his damn self Your way too young to be dealing with a broke kneegrow that is 11 years your senior. Men will try to wine and dine then stop once they get you but you damn sho ain't got to accept that mess. How you start is how you finish in my book.

Dump his *** quick via Dear John letter.

 

[bLackButtaFly]

Ooooooo. I didn't read all the responses, but i just want to add that I went through something very similar. I'm in my early 20's and dated someone who was 12 years older then me. Same thing when things first started he took me out yada yada yada. Well then he decided he wanted to open his own law firm, and the money dried up.

Now we ended things for a variety of reasons including us being at different places in our lives, but a major problem for me was always having to stay in and not doing dating or "couple-y" things. I couldn't stand just sitting around all the time. And when we did do things I had to not only make the plans, but usually ended up paying. If you want my opinion you should take things down a notch. Just date him casually, like he can take you out, or meet up, but not seriously, and you can see other ppl. You then give him time to get himself together and start courting you, and to see if this is going anywhere, but don't keep emptying your pockets for him, trust me. IMO

 

[SouthernJewel]

Ooooooo. I didn't read all the responses, but i just want to add that I went through something very similar. I'm in my early 30's and dated someone who was 12 years older then me.

OT:

You are NOT in your 30's ...Let me see some ID missy.

You look to be in your early 20's from your avatar and the NY pics...

 

[bLackButtaFly]

OT:

You are NOT in your 30's ...Let me see some ID missy.

You look to be in your early 20's from your avatar and the NY pics...

You're right I made atypo. I'm in my early 20's, but my ex was in his mid 30's. Oooppss

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Sorry to bring this up from the past, but man, this was like 2 months ago and how crazy was I? I dumped him soon after the last comment so fast, he had the nerve to start getting pissed off at me because I chose to stay home and study other than spending time with his boring ***. So I got tired of it all, figured that I deserved and could have better, and dumped him. He was pissed, but he brought it on himself. When I think back on our relationship, there were good times, and then sometimes I couldn't stand him. He's a good person, but he needs to grow up, and stop being so stubborn.

I'm so much happier now being single, because I can go into the rest of these relationships with more caution. What should have been a red flag here was that he was in his 30's and didn't have his stuff together the way he should have especially since he's never been married and has no children and a family that would help him if he needed. He should have had more going for him.

No more crazies in 2008! Thanks to all the ladies who helped me make this decision. May we all have luck in love in the New Year!

 

[Bunny77]

RedRiot,

I'm so glad you left! So many people come on these boards asking for advice and they KNOW they're gonna go back to the same trifling man and do the exact same thing... you took action and moved on! I wish more women would do the same.

 

[firecracker]

Oh this is a few months old. I'm glad you dumped broke bob!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

RedRiot,

I'm so glad you left! So many people come on these boards asking for advice and they KNOW they're gonna go back to the same trifling man and do the exact same thing... you took action and moved on! I wish more women would do the same.

Old me would still be with him. But not new me. I don't have time to entertain the losers and miss out on the good men. I have too much to offer. We all do.

 

[tocktick]

RedRiot,

I'm so glad you left! So many people come on these boards asking for advice and they KNOW they're gonna go back to the same trifling man and do the exact same thing... you took action and moved on! I wish more women would do the same.

i agree so much. redriot, you did a good thing for letting him go.

 

[jrae]

... I thought guys were supposed to do that without feeling like you owe them?

No, not "oh well"... yes, they should. This says a lot to me about how you feel about yourself. It should be his pleasure to be with you.

Like the other day we went out to eat, and I asked him if he was going to pay for himself, and I'd pay for myself...he got angry that I would make him pay for myself...since he picked me up and had to drop me off.erplexed

Had to?

I have my own transportation but SO wants to pick me up.

ETA: Good job on making the move!!!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

No, not "oh well"... yes, they should. This says a lot to me about how you feel about yourself. It should be his pleasure to be with you.


Had to?

I have my own transportation but SO wants to pick me up.

ETA: Good job on making the move!!!

Thanks! I definitely had some self esteem issues. And I could see that when I re-read my posts. LAWD! If a guy can see that low self esteem he might take advantage of it. He did in my case.

 

[donna894]

You've made the right decision Red Riot. All these issues, and there's probably more - you just don't know about them yet.

 

[MissJ]

Everyone already stated what I was thinking. I just wanted to add another vote to you dropping him or at least stop paying for his stuff and taking him out to see how he react. If the relationship evolved because you are doing for him, he'll dump you.

Girl, I had never thought about anything like that until it happened to me. I thought paying for my first date was a good idea with my ex, WCG, but as time went on, I figured out that's how I hooked him. When he saw me, all he saw was :dollar: :dollar: :dollar: He was talking about money ALL the time, how much he someone could have given him, how much he wanted someone to give him, how much he thought someone was going to give him. I started looking at him sideways when I saw this pattern.

OP, drop this guy. He is using you, and if he's that stupid to put himself in a bad financial situation, then you shouldn't be with him anyway. Although, I think he has more money than he lets on. Was he spoiled as a kid? Is he an only child? Was he raised in a single-parent household?

 

[MissJ]

oh hellz no girl oh hellz no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he's white? oh hellz no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

did you put up with his crap because of that? oh hellz no!!!!

that was the last thing I expected to see. oh hellz no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

drop him with a quickness dear John straight up!!!!!!

abenyo done lost it!

Okay, I thought he was black, too.

Not that that matters. Either way, you're getting played.

Now, I see you've already dumped the guy. Good shot.