Dilemma....Should I stay with him or not?

How can I say this nicely?

I'm not even going to tell you whether or not to stay. You decide if you can live until death with a man who can lie so easily about anything. Use the following rubric as your guide:

The lies don't stop.
The lies don't stop.
The lies don't stop.

Tattoo that on your dominant hand if need be.
 
You all are right.... It's just what you will accept when you're in love. I just re-read what I wrote and it sounds flat out crazy!

I guess I will be joining the Single and Ready to Mingle Challenge!
 
JustKiya has broke this one down, up, and side ways!!! :lol:

You know how folks say when someone shows you who they are believe them? This man has shown you that he is willing to live with a woman who has already birthed two of his kids and is pregnant with the third while stepping trying to line up his next gig (who conveniently lives out of town).

Girl, he's showing you who he is....believe him.
 
oh my gawd!!! I agree w/the ladies.. RUN! my 1st thought is hale to da nall!!! no telling what else he has/will lie to u about.. relationships are doomed w/o trust... how could u ever really be with this dude knowing that he started out lying to u hun??? trust me.. dont do it to urself.. u deserve sooooo much better! tell his triflin *** to go home to his family cause u dont need that kinda bs in ya life-SERIOUSLY!
 
Wait! I think I may know this dude. I swear my friend dealt with a dude with the same trifling situation. He's a garden tool. Run fast in the other direction. Dudes like this will ruin your life. Real talk.
 
lilliz6 said:
You all are right.... It's just what you will accept when you're in love. I just re-read what I wrote and it sounds flat out crazy!

I guess I will be joining the Single and Ready to Mingle Challenge!
Click to expand...

I'm glad you realize you don't have to sacrifice yourself/happiness because you're 'in love'.
 
chicitygirl said:
Wait! I think I may know this dude. I swear my friend dealt with a dude with the same trifling situation. He's a garden tool. Run fast in the other direction. Dudes like this will ruin your life. Real talk.
Click to expand...

Your friend did? What's his name, it might be the same one?
 
You don't know what this guy is doing alllll the way in Chicago. Why would you give him another chance? This is crazy. :crazy:
 
:nono: Yea, you should leave this dude alone, although I know you'll probably give him another chance. He'll sweet talk his way back in.

I hope I'm wrong, but this is the pattern of young women. You just need to cut off all ties with him. You can't even be friends.
 
fletches said:
:nono: Yea, you should leave this dude alone, although I know you'll probably give him another chance. He'll sweet talk his way back in.

I hope I'm wrong, but this is the pattern of young women. You just need to cut off all ties with him. You can't even be friends.
Click to expand...

The bolded is the sad truth of many young women :nono:

OP you don't deserve bringing the baggage this guy is carrying into your life. And he has a lot :(.
 
The girl didn't get pregnant too long before you 2 started talking. I'm going to bet that he was probably sleeping with her and the fact that he was still living with her and lying about it tells me that he's not over her and they might not really be exes. I can't speak on him having 3 kids because that's a personal decision for you but based on his other actions I'd cut and run
 
lilliz6 said:
I love him and he is very much in love with me. But the major problem for me is that I have always imagined myself with a man who only has children with me. I feel like I'm giving up my dream of what I have always wanted...plus I don't want another woman in my mans life, period.

What do you all think I should do?
Click to expand...

This is the least of your problems. What you should be concerned about is that he is a liar. What has he done to show you that he's an honest person? How often do you get insight into his life in Chicago? Can you honestly say that you trust him?
 
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lilliz6 said:
You all are right.... It's just what you will accept when you're in love. I just re-read what I wrote and it sounds flat out crazy!

I guess I will be joining the Single and Ready to Mingle Challenge!
Click to expand...


Love is an ACTION not a verb... feeling butterflies and special feelings for a man is nice, but that's not the foundation for a healthy relationship...

A whole lot of women have been left broke, busted and disgusted (and pregnant and alone) because they were "in love." Whatever that means! Most times, "in love" is just serious infatuation... especially when you really don't know someone all that well.


(And I'm going there... a man with THREE out-of-wedlock children is just trife as hell... this is too ghetto for words. There is nothing normal or acceptable about this situation.)
 
lilliz6 said:
You all are right.... It's just what you will accept when you're in love. I just re-read what I wrote and it sounds flat out crazy!

I guess I will be joining the Single and Ready to Mingle Challenge!
Click to expand...

Been there done that. :nono: Life does exist after him. Please leave him alone!!!

DMJ's Mom said:
The girl didn't get pregnant too long before you 2 started talking. I'm going to bet that he was probably sleeping with her and the fact that he was still living with her and lying about it tells me that he's not over her and they might not really be exes. I can't speak on him having 3 kids because that's a personal decision for you but based on his other actions I'd cut and run
Click to expand...

:blush:
 
Girl... don't listen to all these women in here telling you to leave him alone. He is a GOOD MAN! He's just in a bad situation.

Nevermind the 3 kids and the baby mama... she was just mad because he told her it was over and he really loves you. Forget that he has this girl in Chicago raising 3 of his children and he is willing to throw them to the curb for you... They were living together and he didn't even WANT her because he was in an EXCLUSIVE relationship with you... even though it was long distance.

:rolleyes:

SORRY OP! I have a sister who went thru something similar... It just angers me to read this... He had 2 boys with another chick, and started dating my sister when the baby mama was 3 months preggers. They lived together, but she didn't tell us that until AFTER SHE was also preggers.

Now she has another son for him... he is a piece of crap... and he was just spotted in HER car, picking up some girl from SCHOOL... (She's a senior @ their old highschool... He is 20 and lil sis is 21.)

Her life is ruined. YES RUINED. I mean, she can go on and do things with a child, but it ain't like it would be WITHOUT a child. And some stuff, she just can't do... like LIVE ON HER OWN because she cant afford it now... I mean look at her age. She could finish school, but she can't stay in the dorms like she did her freshman year... she got a baby... she can't get the whole college experience...

She won't marry this dude because he is just a dog... and now she will have children with multiple fathers if she does get married... something I know she didn't want. (Not saying there is something wrong with women in that situation, it just isn't for HER or ME) and apparently isn't something YOU want...

Sorry so long... but he obviously doesn't use a rubber... doesn't stick around to raise his seed, and doesn't like to be truthful with the women in his life... You are right... to stay would be ending your "free" life... You'd be damaged goods with excess baggage by the time the right man comes along for you, cuz HE sho ain't it...
 
You are WAYYY too young to have to deal with this ish....

I look at patterns and decision-making with regards to men and their children (or not). Any man, who has more than two children and has not been married to the mother(s), I question his ability to make good decisions. Three children and having a baby mama only is ridiculous. By baby #2, he knows where babies come from and how to prevent them. On the most basic level, he is irresponsible. A pattern is building in that he was irresponsible when making those children and now he's being irresponsible in leaving those children, if he were to marry you. Again, look at patterns and decision-making. If you look at those two things objectively, you generally will not go wrong. Just my $.02
 
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