controling or not

mcgheeola said:
When my bf moved in with me I didn't think that I would have to change how I sleep.he been here for 6months now he said I sleep to far away from him I can't help the way that I sleep.I mean I've been sleeping my way for along time so he said but your in a relationship now.the only thing I asked him to do is buy food and pay half on the phone bill I pay all the other bills so I don't no what is talking about.he has to pay child support and he only gets maybe like fourhundred dollars evey two weeks.and he has is car payment twohundred and fiftydollars every pay check.so he's all ways broke so that means he can buy food but a little here and there.we don't really talk all we do is watch tv and by 7 he's ready to go to bed not sleep but watch more tv this is all we do :perplexedmy relationship is so boring
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According to the bold, he is in no way ready to be in a relationship. AND he has the nerve to be trying to tell you how to sleep in YOUR set???? :nono:
 
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mcgheeola said:
Well he has 4 kids two are grown he all ways looks depressed I no on payday.he had his own place but he couldn't aford it so that's how he came to move with me.we have been together for along time but he said that he don't want to get married because I act like his ex wife I hate when he threw here in my face.he won't get a second job and I don't understand why he won't he helps by telling me to stop turning the ac on and off but he's not paying the bill.I he's trying to help with his mouth but that's it.I have been by myself for a long timee so for me to just change because we are in a relationship its not going to happen because he wants it to.
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All I can say is, is will only get worst. My exhusband was like above, he got real comfortable with the situation I set up for him. Yes, I am to blame for 60% of what went down and you my sista are part to blame. One day it is going to blow up in your face and you are going to be pissed. It came to a head for me and thus, he is an exhusband. Neva again, I would rather be single than deal with bull like this. BTW my ex didn't move in until we were married, it didn't make a bit of difference, but you are doing all of this for a BF, but I never should have married old boy, I saw it coming but I thought it would change. Yeah, it did, it got worst.

I repeat it will only get worst. I hope you do not and are not considering having kids with ole dude. I did not procreate with my ex, so it was a clean break and he knew it was up and there was no fighting. He is only going to do what you allow him to do and I gave my exhusband enough rope and he ended up hanging me.
 
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im glad someone mentioned the kids. If he cant take care of himself how he gone take care of my or my kids if something happened. but the better question is how old are your kids and why are you allowing this shameless *shameless=he aint doin nothin your possibly teenage kids could do with an afterschool job financially, he aint helpin you emotionally...etc* display to happen around them, kids remember, hear, and feel alot more than people think...
 
ThatJerseyGirl said:
hell, i'd be bored to if i was sleepin wif a man dat was broke. u may want to re-evaluate your situation and getchu a new boyfriend, preferrably one who has more income.....

but then again, if ur happy where ur at...then clap ur hands.[/QUOTE]

Girl, you crazy! LOL
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He's a BUM! When you going to call the U Haul and get his chump self out? TheJerseyGirl said it best as always. Im going to need you to read her post several times and do much much better,
 
Op, this is clearly a case of "I can do bad all by myself". I'm sorry but I don't support the idea of women taking care of grown men. He needs to step out and get his life right. He's never going to marry you because you remind him of his ex wife; He doesn't have a pot to piss in ( he must have never hear the saying " beggars can't be choosers" ); and he is up in your house with your children. He needs to go. You can do better.
 
i think you should let him go...you say you guys don't even communicate anymore and really, without communication there's nothing else :nono: also someone before said you're basically paying for his child support which is true if you think about it. He let go of his apt cause he couldnt afford it and the child support but you picked up the rent part so he could continue paying his cs. He doesn't love you, dare i say, cause why would he tell you "i'm never gonna marry you?" wth? Really? So why are we together again? We don't talk, we don't go out, you don't contribute financially...it's like you gained another child :nono: also why is he only making $800 a month??? Why is he not full time? Has he been incarcerated before and can't find a better job? I think you can either do better or have him change cause it's not gonna get better and then what if he up and leaves after all you've done for him?
 
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He can't control nothing with his broke self! OP you not even addressing the other issues in this "relationship". He is essentially a free loader..a mooch and lazy. The least he could do is have a second job.

He is living beyond his means with a $250 car note and child support and now he is cutting into your means. Put him on a pallet on the floor!
 
TayMac said:
He can't control nothing with his broke self! OP you not even addressing the other issues in this "relationship". He is essentially a free loader..a mooch and lazy. The least he could do is have a second job.

He is living beyond his means with a $250 car note and child support and now he is cutting into your means. Put him on a pallet on the floor!
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LMBAO picturing his butt on a pallet.
 
I think you need to go into therapy OP because you think that this man is what you deserve. I am sure you will disagree but your question was about him being controlling and not whether he is good enough to even call to you on the street. He has four kids, he doesn't make enough to pay his bills, he is verbally abusive, and he watches a lot tv instead of doing fun creative things. None of those qualities seem like qualities anyone should settle for. Please go talk to someone soon.
 
A woman taking care of a man is such a foreign concept to me that it's hard for me to understand why you are putting up with him. OP you are dealing with a boy, not a man. I think you sleeping habits are the least of your worries SMDH :nono:
 
OP, please come back and give us an update. The ladies here have given you a lot to ponder and I would like to know your opinions/thoughts on what's been said.
 
*sighs*
If he was trying to get his **** together I could understand a tiny bit of his so-called depression.

BUT
He quit his second job knowing he needs that extra income? You are paying for almost everything. You are cooking and cleaning for you, him, and your kids?! You should be the one stressed because you have a grown child (not a man) sitting around pouting on his lazy behind while you're doing all the work. AND HE INSULTS YOU! You could be better off alone.
 
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Emanon said:
I'm confused...are you asking if he's controlling or just venting?

From what you posted, he seems like a few things, controlling isn't one of them though.
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Thank you. I didn't want to have to be the one....

You said it way better than I would've.
 
it is time for the brotha to go! been there done that! it's not your place to take care of him. save that job for his mother!
 
lea86111 said:
i think you should let him go...you say you guys don't even communicate anymore and really, without communication there's nothing else :nono: also someone before said you're basically paying for his child support which is true if you think about it. He let go of his apt cause he couldnt afford it and the child support but you picked up the rent part so he could continue paying his cs. He doesn't love you, dare i say, cause why would he tell you "i'm never gonna marry you?" wth? Really? So why are we together again? We don't talk, we don't go out, you don't contribute financially...it's like you gained another child :nono: also why is he only making $800 a month??? Why is he not full time? Has he been incarcerated before and can't find a better job? I think you can either do better or have him change cause it's not gonna get better and then what if he up and leaves after all you've done for him?
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You should leave for that reason alone.

TayMac said:
He can't control nothing with his broke self! OP you not even addressing the other issues in this "relationship". He is essentially a free loader..a mooch and lazy. The least he could do is have a second job.

He is living beyond his means with a $250 car note and child support and now he is cutting into your means. Put him on a pallet on the floor!
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Even that's too much work, given the situation.
 
wait a minute...hold up.

*reaches n bra...grabs newport n lights one*

lemme git dis hea straight, cuz see, i only read a little bit.

u work, he work, but he only brings home 4 hunnit dollas every two weeks. he gotta pay chile support and a car note. u pay everything else, and cook and clean and he gittin some puzzy on da reg.
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Le sigh...so, so true. :perplexed:

:nono: :nono:
 
His second job was 3 years ago? It doesn't even count anymore. Man, I thought you meant he had one in the 6 months since he moved in with you.

The peen must be killer.
 
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