Things Men Do When They Have Nothing To Offer You

[vevster]

Article from DDS Magazine

 

[vevster]

The article wasn't that great --- it was the title that got me. Maybe someone else got something out of it.

 

[Sosoothing]

The article wasn't that great --- it was the title that got me. Maybe someone else got something out of it.

I agree. I was coming to say the article was poorly written even though the message may be sound.

 

[LovinLea]

I listen to this girl on Youtube, thanks for guiding me to her website.

 

[yaya24]

Def follow her on youtube

Christy & Chloe_ are great to listen to.

 

[Theresamonet]

It was definitely a crappy article. And I hate when writers try too hard to say clever things. Like, what is this supposed to mean:

If you have too many pieces of cheap plastic and metal collecting dust on your dresser then you've got a dusty on your hands.

I also thought the points brought up were pretty obvious. Of course a man who has nothing to offer will:

a) pretend he does and make false promises
b) play up what he does have, which is usually just penis
c ) ultimately be disappointing.

Is any of that a revelation?

I think that there are some less obvious things these men are doing to manipulate their way into relationships with women who are way out of their league.

I know one thing they do is minimize what you have to offer, in an effort to level the playing field in your mind. I’ve seen this happen, and it works so well on the right woman.

 

[Lylddlebit]

I have a few to add. @Theresamonet I think this one can still be good by making a real list off stuff.

• Gaslight you when you detect bull.
• Offer you kids without becoming your good husband.
• Compare themselves to garbage dudes like you should be grateful for the bare minimum .
• Find folks who will cosign they are a good dude because either their(the friend or relatives) standards are low or they don't know no better(ie don't know the difference between a good relative or friend and a good husband).
• Attempt to make you feel guilty/arrogant/spoiled/sheltered or like a braggart for having your affairs in order(especially when you have worked for everything you have with little to no help) because it makes them feel worse about who/where they are.
• Feel comfortable living off you.
• Wan't you to be his"old lady" for more time than it takes to get a diploma or degree.

 

[blessedandfavoured]

It was definitely a crappy article.

I also thought the points brought up were pretty obvious. Of course a man who has nothing to offer will:

a) pretend he does and make false promises
b) play up what he does have, which is usually just penis
c ) ultimately be disappointing.

Is any of that a revelation?

Sometimes I read things and think, 'well, duh,' and then I remember that not everyone has my life experience/knowledge/temperament. Someone else (young, naive, little-to-no parenting, etc) might see the same article and have their mind blown. Maybe this writer approached the article like she was speaking to the widest audience.

I have a few to add. @Theresamonet I think this one can still be good by making a real list off stuff.

• Gaslight you when you detect bull.
• Offer you kids without becoming your good husband.
• Compare themselves to garbage dudes like you should be grateful for the bare minimum .
• Find folks who will cosign they are a good dude because either their(the friend or relatives) standards are low or they don't know no better(ie don't know the difference between a good relative or friend and a good husband).
• Attempt to make you feel guilty/arrogant/spoiled/sheltered or like a braggart for having your affairs in order(especially when you have worked for everything you have with little to no help) because it makes them feel worse about who/where they are.
• Feel comfortable living off you.
• Wan't you to be his"old lady" for more time than it takes to get a diploma or degree.

This list goes past 'nothing to offer you.' This is an abuser with nothing to offer anyone. Well, nothing but pain.

 

[Lylddlebit]

Sometimes I read things and think, 'well, duh,' and then I remember that not everyone has my life experience/knowledge/temperament. Someone else (young, naive, little-to-no parenting, etc) might see the same article and have their mind blown. Maybe this writer approached the article like she was speaking to the widest audience.


This list goes past 'nothing to offer you.' This is an abuser with nothing to offer anyone. Well, nothing but pain.

Fair enough. However my list isn't one person... it is a compilation of common behaviors I have seen in dudes that women do not always identify for what it is while experiencing it.

 

[Theresamonet]

Sometimes I read things and think, 'well, duh,' and then I remember that not everyone has my life experience/knowledge/temperament. Someone else (young, naive, little-to-no parenting, etc) might see the same article and have their mind blown. Maybe this writer approached the article like she was speaking to the widest audience.

This information wouldn’t be for the wider audience, imo. As you said, it’s for readers who are “young, naive, with little parenting, etc”... Really depends on who their readers actually are/who they are marketing the blog to. If they are trying to get very young women prepared for their first dating experiences, its probably helpful. If it is general tips for dating women, it’s less helpful, imo.

Seriously, the last point was that he will disappoint you. This is teen mag material, if it were better written.

 

[Evolving78]

This information wouldn’t be for the wider audience, imo. As you said, it’s for readers who are “young, naive, with little parenting, etc”... Really depends on who their readers actually are/who they are marketing the blog to. If they are trying to get very young women prepared for their first dating experiences, its probably helpful. If it is general tips for dating women, it’s less helpful, imo.

Seriously, the last point was that he will disappoint you. This is teen mag material, if it were better written.

There are plenty and I mean plenty of seasoned women that still don’t recognize the game. More older than younger.

 

[Theresamonet]

There are plenty and I mean plenty of seasoned women that still don’t recognize the game. More older than younger.

What do we consider “seasoned”... just old? Cause to me you aren’t “seasoned” if you can’t recognize this basic (like super basic) game.

And said woman would fall into the naive category, as I stated.

 

[Evolving78]

What do we consider “seasoned”... just old? Cause to me you aren’t “seasoned” if you can’t recognize this basic (like super basic) game.

And said woman would fall into the naive category, as I stated.

Yes I didn’t want to say old! Lol

 

[Ayesha81]

Offer you kids! this happened to me. This guy I started dating immediately offered me kids he kept on saying I want to impregnate you. Thank god almost 2 years into relationship I realized he is lazy, dependant and a scammer.

 

[NijaG]

Offer you kids! this happened to me. This guy I started dating immediately offered me kids he kept on saying I want to impregnate you. Thank god almost 2 years into relationship I realized he is lazy, dependant and a scammer.

As much as society try to minimize this and make it seem like it’s a woman thing...... there are just a many men who use kids to trap women.

 

[CurliDiva]

I didn't read the article, but here's my 2 cents:

1. He will try to make you feel BAD or guilty for wanting more in life (you are now needy, emotional, irrational, or a materialistic golf digger).
OR
2. He will gas you up when not only are you not equally yoked, but he is becoming your burden. That whole Mz. Independent/ Superwoman thing usually backfires (suddenly you're too demanding, emasculating, too busy, or he starts to pick out insecurities/ flaws to keep you in your place).

 

[CurliDiva]

Offer you kids! this happened to me. This guy I started dating immediately offered me kids he kept on saying I want to impregnate you. Thank god almost 2 years into relationship I realized he is lazy, dependant and a scammer.

I had an on-again/off-again boyfriend that keep talking this MESS! He wasn't offering to commit and marry me, but just knocking me up...

 

[Maracujá]

Keep preaching ladies

 

[caribeandiva]

Offer you kids! this happened to me. This guy I started dating immediately offered me kids he kept on saying I want to impregnate you. Thank god almost 2 years into relationship I realized he is lazy, dependant and a scammer.

Omg this happened to me too! I was flattered. I didn’t connect the dots until now.

 

[caribeandiva]

I had an on-again/off-again boyfriend that keep talking this MESS! He wasn't offering to commit and marry me, but just knocking me up...

So you were good enough to be his baby mama but not his wife?

 

[NaturalEnigma]

1. He won’t offer to pay for dates, or if he does he grumbles, stalls or gets an attitude about it like he’s doing you a favor.
2. They are emotionally unavailable, usually with childhood/mommy issues they never got resolved and they bore you to death with their sad stories to garner sympathy and put your guard down.
3. They don’t plan dates they just tag along to whatever you plan.
4. They see you as a comeup they will use you in every way they possibly can, mentally, physically, emotionally, financially. I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve helped to fix their resume, and this was within 1-2 months of dating.
5. They think sitting on the couch or laying in bed talking about their problems is a date.
6. They love bomb you and then a couple weeks later you feel like you’re dating another person, less calls/texts, interest, and compliments.
7. They’re not really interested in your hopes, dreams and goals, becuase they don’t plan on investing in you. Talks of your plans are brushed off or ignored.

 

[Evolving78]

So you were good enough to be his baby mama but not his wife?

They don’t have to be legally responsible for you, but can come in and out of your life and control you. Some just literally wanna ruin your life or set you back. There are men out here that are jealous of women. Get you pregnant and leave you high and dry just to prove a point.
I watched an episode of For My Man. One episode I saw that play out in real life. It was about a Jamaican Dancehall DJ.
Plus I have been watching Evil Lives Here.

Women complain about having to work on themselves and have to make all of these changes, but it’s about safety and peace of mind nowadays. Women didn’t have much of a choice years ago. We had to have a man to survive. You left your father’s house when there was a man to take over that role.

Things have changed a lot for women, but the men haven’t changed because they benefited from a patriarchal system since the beginning of time.


Now men that don’t have much to offer are finding themselves in a pickle. Being mediocre just doesn’t seem to be working anymore and they need to be somewhat dependent on a woman to be able to afford a family. There are not a lot of jobs straight out of high school that can support dating and having a family. So they do a lot of playing mind games and using manipulating tactics to get a woman under their thumb.

 

[Evolving78]

1. He won’t offer to pay for dates, or if he does he grumbles, stalls or gets an attitude about it like he’s doing you a favor.
2. They are emotionally unavailable, usually with childhood/mommy issues they never got resolved and they bore you to death with their sad stories to garner sympathy and put your guard down.
3. They don’t plan dates they just tag along to whatever you plan.
4. They see you as a comeup they will use you in every way they possibly can, mentally, physically, emotionally, financially. I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve helped to fix their resume, and this was within 1-2 months of dating.
5. They think sitting on the couch or laying in bed talking about their problems is a date.
6. They love bomb you and then a couple weeks later you feel like you’re dating another person, less calls/texts, interest, and compliments.
7. They’re not really interested in your hopes, dreams and goals, becuase they don’t plan on investing in you. Talks of your plans are brushed off or ignored.

Too many men walking around wanting a woman to fix their resume, or type something up... lol

 

[blessedandfavoured]

They don’t have to be legally responsible for you, but can come in and out of your life and control you. Some just literally wanna ruin your life or set you back. There are men out here that are jealous of women. Get you pregnant and leave you high and dry just to prove a point.
I watched an episode of For My Man. One episode I saw that play out in real life. It was about a Jamaican Dancehall DJ.
Plus I have been watching Evil Lives Here.

Women complain about having to work on themselves and have to make all of these changes, but it’s about safety and peace of mind nowadays. Women didn’t have much of a choice years ago. We had to have a man to survive. You left your father’s house when there was a man to take over that role.

Things have changed a lot for women, but the men haven’t changed because they benefited from a patriarchal system since the beginning of time.


Now men that don’t have much to offer are finding themselves in a pickle. Being mediocre just doesn’t seem to be working anymore and they need to be somewhat dependent on a woman to be able to afford a family. There are not a lot of jobs straight out of high school that can support dating and having a family. So they do a lot of playing mind games and using manipulating tactics to get a woman under their thumb.

I hear you. Rather than come up higher, many men just want to pull a woman down. And sadly, there are still many, many women who (for whatever reason) believe that they need a man/relationship/family to validate themselves or be worthy, so the mind games work more often than not.

Too many men walking around wanting a woman to fix their resume, or type something up... lol

Mr, is she your girlfriend or your secretary?

 

[caribeandiva]

... And sadly, there are still many, many women who (for whatever reason) believe that they need a man/relationship/family to validate themselves or be worthy, so the mind games work more often than not.

There is a reason and you stated it yourself: they are looking to validate their self worth by any means necessary except the healthy way. The men know this and take advantage. I can’t even get mad at the men because it’s human nature. Why pay a higher price for something, or put in extra effort, than you have to? Conserve your energy and resources.

 

[Maracujá]

I hear you. Rather than come up higher, many men just want to pull a woman down. And sadly, there are still many, many women who (for whatever reason) believe that they need a man/relationship/family to validate themselves or be worthy, so the mind games work more often than not.


Mr, is she your girlfriend or your secretary?

Never understood why having high self-esteem was important for women, until I noticed that Trump is married and has had several wives at that, if I am not mistaking. A lady at church also pointed out to me, that all the dictators in Africa also have spouses .

 

[Maracujá]

They don’t have to be legally responsible for you, but can come in and out of your life and control you. Some just literally wanna ruin your life or set you back. There are men out here that are jealous of women. Get you pregnant and leave you high and dry just to prove a point.
I watched an episode of For My Man. One episode I saw that play out in real life. It was about a Jamaican Dancehall DJ.
Plus I have been watching Evil Lives Here.

Women complain about having to work on themselves and have to make all of these changes, but it’s about safety and peace of mind nowadays. Women didn’t have much of a choice years ago. We had to have a man to survive. You left your father’s house when there was a man to take over that role.

Things have changed a lot for women, but the men haven’t changed because they benefited from a patriarchal system since the beginning of time.


Now men that don’t have much to offer are finding themselves in a pickle. Being mediocre just doesn’t seem to be working anymore and they need to be somewhat dependent on a woman to be able to afford a family. There are not a lot of jobs straight out of high school that can support dating and having a family. So they do a lot of playing mind games and using manipulating tactics to get a woman under their thumb.

So glad you pointed the bolded out. So many people are complaining about 21st century living and I'm out here like...we're all being set free: the stakes are being raised.

 

[blessedandfavoured]

There is a reason and you stated it yourself: they are looking to validate their self worth by any means necessary except the healthy way. The men know this and take advantage. I can’t even get mad at the men because it’s human nature. Why pay a higher price for something, or put in extra effort, than you have to? Conserve your energy and resources.

What I meant by 'for whatever reason' was I didn't know whether those beliefs come from self, family, society, etc. Like did their parents tell them the lie or was it television? But yeah, I get what you're saying.

Never understood why having high self-esteem was important for women, until I noticed that Trump is married and has had several wives at that, if I am not mistaking. A lady at church also pointed out to me, that all the dictators in Africa also have spouses .

High self-esteem is important for all people. The kind of mediocre men we're talking about have low self-esteem. If they didn't, they treat women with respect. Cheating/abusing women makes them feel better about themselves because at least there's someone who feels worse than them, IMO.