...I want to help you with the "not say."
Because, sometimes - often, in fact - NOTHING is the thing to say.
Sometimes, just letting there be AIR between you, and breathing, and quiet is the way to go.
Sometimes, you want him to FEEL you instead of HEAR you.
And - most important - you want to be able to hear the most important voice of all - the ones inside your head that are yelling and doing their best to make you DO something and damage whatever wonderful might be happening in the moment of silence.
Don't Be Afraid Of Silence...
It doesn't mean he's not interested. It doesn't mean he's angry or upset.
Sometimes - a man just has to pee.
Sometimes - he just needs a moment to go inside himself.
Sometimes he just doesn't have anything to say.
How Silence Can Bring Him Closer To You
If you've ever felt miserably uncomfortable with a man when it got quiet - I know how you feel, and there isn't a woman on the planet who doesn't squirm and feel weird when things all of a sudden go silent.
But it doesn't have to be awful.
In fact - you can USE the silence to your advantage with a man - if you know HOW.
What you do with that moment can be KEY to what happens next - especially to the amount of ATTRACTION he feels for you.
Get More Emotionally Connected To Him:
1. Stop yourself from speaking automatically.
This is the place most of us women get ourselves into trouble. At the first sign of silence, our hearts go into panic mode, we make up that he's withdrawing from us, we call the moment "cold" and we get fearful.
We go into "repair" mode.
We instinctively try to step into the gap. We instinctively want to "fix" whatever's wrong. We want to fill the silence, create something.
And that's going to take you in the opposite direction from where you want to go.
2. Drop your attention from the situation and focus in on your body.
Start with your breathing. Focus on your belly, just below your belly button, and put your hand on it. Now let your tummy relax right into your hand. Now, take a breath right into your tummy and let it expand into your hand.
Now go to your shoulders. If they're up high, close to your ears - consciously let them drop down, so you feel like our arms are just hanging off your shoulders.
So - when he goes quiet, and you're just sitting there - here's what you can do to move the moment emotionally deeper and...
(The soft hands Tool in
Modern Siren is terrifically helpful for this.)--
I can't remember this exercise. Gonna look it up.
3. Find someplace to put your attention that feels useful.
I personally love the "cleaning out your purse" Tool: Either clean it out or find something (lipstick, eye pencil, that you can USE to DO something with - Do NOT go into PHONE mode!
Getting all caught up in your cell phone is the worst thing you can do - it's what everyone does, and you want to NOT be EVERYONE.
Don't go there because it's easy, or because you feel compelled to check your texts and email.
Another great thing to do is REALLY look out the window if you're in a car, look at the other people if you're in a restaurant, watch the screen if you're at a movie or watching tv.
Eating is always a great thing to do - slowly.
And eating healthy food helps tremendously - you could eat your way slowly through a bowl of popcorn, or kale chips, or a bag of salad, one leaf at a time.
4. Touch him.
Gently put your hand under his butt
if you're sitting in the car and you've been with him for awhile.
If it's a first date, turn to him, look at his face and smile (that's almost as good as touching...)
After you've gotten comfortable with silence - that's when knowing the right WORDS to say can make all the difference...
I think the combination of RR, Brene Brown, Louise Hay, Rachel Jayne Groover and random youtube affirmation videos are making me feel like a brand new person 
