The Rori Raye Way

Black Ambrosia said:
How does she suggest you close off other options sexually while otherwise keeping your options open? I can appreciate that she’s not advocating sleeping around. I’m just not sure what this looks like in practice.

I need to get back to this. I’d know the answer if I finished listening to the series. :look:
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She talks a lot about requiring sexual exclusivity. She gave an example in one of the programs (can't remember which) where she says if you sleep with Guy A, then sleep with Guy B, before you sleep with Guy A again you tell him you require sexual exclusivity while dating. If he agrees guy B gets no more if he doesn't then maybe stick with Guy B. I can't remember all the details or even which program it's in I just remember one of the women saying she was uncomfortable with that scenario and Rori basically telling her to do whatever feels right to her.

She also says if you can have sex in a way without getting attached to any of these men and if it feels right to you then go for it. I may need to revisit this part too. It should either be in Targeting Mr. Right or Modern Siren.
 
Black Ambrosia said:
How does she suggest you close off other options sexually while otherwise keeping your options open? I can appreciate that she’s not advocating sleeping around. I’m just not sure what this looks like in practice.

I need to get back to this. I’d know the answer if I finished listening to the series. :look:
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Edited because @KammyGirl explained it better
 
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KammyGirl said:
She talks a lot about requiring sexual exclusivity. She gave an example in one of the programs (can't remember which) where she says if you sleep with Guy A, then sleep with Guy B, before you sleep with Guy A again you tell him you require sexual exclusivity while dating. If he agrees guy B gets no more if he doesn't then maybe stick with Guy B. I can't remember all the details or even which program it's in I just remember one of the women saying she was uncomfortable with that scenario and Rori basically telling her to do whatever feels right to her.

She also says if you can have sex in a way without getting attached to any of these men and if it feels right to you then go for it. I may need to revisit this part too. It should either be in Targeting Mr. Right or Modern Siren.
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Thanks. This is what I was looking for. So if Guy A agrees then you’re sexually exclusive with him but still dating other guys, correct? In this scenario is guy A also still seeing other people but only having relations with you?
 
Black Ambrosia said:
Thanks. This is what I was looking for. So if Guy A agrees then you’re sexually exclusive with him but still dating other guys, correct? In this scenario is guy A also still seeing other people but only having relations with you?
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Right. You 2 need to agree that while you 2 are sexually intimate, neither of you will be sleeping with anyone else. And you will continue to date other men as you please. We assume the man is also seeing other people (not sleeping with them!) but the point is to not even wonder or worry about that because you have your own roster to focus on.
 
KammyGirl said:
Been listening to Toxic Men today. I needed to hear this for some reason. I have her programs downloaded on my phone too and I think I'm going to start listening to them again on my train ride
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I haven't done RR's stuff in a while but it's still very good. I listen to something related to feminine energy daily. If it wasn't for LHCF, I wouldn't know anything about this.

My dating life has done a complete 180. I had a lovely date yesterday. My vibe is good and high :yep: 2018 started out well for me in this area because I was committed to doing something different.
 
KammyGirl said:
Right. You 2 need to agree that while you 2 are sexually intimate, neither of you will be sleeping with anyone else. And you will continue to date other men as you please. We assume the man is also seeing other people (not sleeping with them!) but the point is to not even wonder or worry about that because you have your own roster to focus on.
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I guess I’m really conservative because I don’t like the idea of holding hands or kissing someone if I’m sexually exclusive with another person. I think it would bother me if the person I’m having sex with exclusively was kissing on someone else even if they weren’t having sex. I’m old school so I guess this is where I have to learn to adapt.
 
Black Ambrosia said:
I guess I’m really conservative because I don’t like the idea of holding hands or kissing someone if I’m sexually exclusive with another person. I think it would bother me if the person I’m having sex with exclusively was kissing on someone else even if they weren’t having sex. I’m old school so I guess this is where I have to learn to adapt.
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I mean you don't have to do any of these things. These are not "rules to follow while dating". It's all about whatever you feel comfortable doing. There have been men I've gone on at least 4 dates with and the most we ever did was hold hands whether I was sleeping with someone else or not. There are women that need sexual release but don't want to be tied down to one man and that is where something like this would come in. She gets her needs met without being hung up on that one guy. Or you don't have to have sex with any of them and keep circular dating. The bottom line is to do whatever makes you comfortable and not be so focused on one man that you are worrying and obsessing over him and what he's doing.
 
Section 2 of Toxic Men is so good. I don't know why I don't remember any of this. I think the 2nd guy (David Wygant) turned me off the first time and maybe I stopped watching. But this time around it was great.

Section 3...I cannot take this man seriously at all with his 5 year long relationship with no engagement in sight. Every time he spoke I rolled my eyes. I'm going to try to listen to that section again. She should have had Evan Marc Katz on his own panel because his relationship advice is sometimes contradicting to hers. I would have liked to see his advice right up against hers.
 
Belle Du Jour said:
The Way That WORKS Is To Say:
"I don't want a boyfriend. I'm looking for someone to walk off into the sunset with and get married and have a family." (Or what you envision for YOURSELF.) "And so I don't want to get exclusive with anyone until that guy shows up."

And that's it. You don't ask him for anything.

You simply REFUSE to close up your other options (except sexually, of course) until you're SURE - that means engagement ring, wedding date, house in escrow - that he means to make you happy, forever.

The next step is to make it your job to make sure you DO keep your options open, no matter how emotionally involved you feel yourself getting with any one man. It's your job to make sure that you DON'T get so emotionally involved with any one man until you're SURE he means to make you happy forever.

You take it step-by-step, date-by-date, and you BRIDGE your way to a real relationship with a GREAT MAN.
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I really like this..
 
You know what I hate. When I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think about is a guy. Rori says I'm giving up my power and recommends the Modern Siren program for this. But the thing is, isn't it natural to wonder why a guy hasn't called or why he does stupid things that's going to tick you off? For the first time in a while I woke up this morning and wondered about a guy as soon as I opened my eyes. I absolutely hate that!
 
KammyGirl said:
You know what I hate. When I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think about is a guy. Rori says I'm giving up my power and recommends the Modern Siren program for this. But the thing is, isn't it natural to wonder why a guy hasn't called or why he does stupid things that's going to tick you off? For the first time in a while I woke up this morning and wondered about a guy as soon as I opened my eyes. I absolutely hate that!
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Try clearing your mind when you go to bed. Pray and meditate before bed.
 
@KammyGirl when I'm trying not to focus too much on one problem in my life, I find another problem in my life to overthink or solve. So if it's a boy for instance, I decide that now is the perfect time to makeover my skin care regimen (or something equally not broken) . That requires research and site visits and planning purchases, all of which take up that bit of free time in my head and day. Also take a Tylenol pm or unisom if needed to fall asleep so quickly your brain doesn't get the quiet space to think about him.

I'm sure there is a more spiritual method and of course meditation works, but I think those take time to master. In a pinch, I do the above and that solves the problem. Thoughts do become things so if I feel like thinking about too much is compounding the problem then I need a quick fix.
 
This is a good idea! I do the Tylenol PM thing too lol (I use Advil) but that doesn't solve my first thing in the morning thoughts problem. If I overfocus on another non issue that might help. I think my binaural beats might help too. Gonna try both. Thanks!

Kimbosheart said:
@KammyGirl when I'm trying not to focus too much on one problem in my life, I find another problem in my life to overthink or solve. So if it's a boy for instance, I decide that now is the perfect time to makeover my skin care regimen (or something equally not broken) . That requires research and site visits and planning purchases, all of which take up that bit of free time in my head and day. Also take a Tylenol pm or unisom if needed to fall asleep so quickly your brain doesn't get the quiet space to think about him.

I'm sure there is a more spiritual method and of course meditation works, but I think those take time to master. In a pinch, I do the above and that solves the problem. Thoughts do become things so if I feel like thinking about too much is compounding the problem then I need a quick fix.
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KammyGirl said:
This is a good idea! I do the Tylenol PM thing too lol (I use Advil) but that doesn't solve my first thing in the morning thoughts problem. If I overfocus on another non issue that might help. I think my binaural beats might help too. Gonna try both. Thanks!
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You’re quite welcome.

For the morning it’s similar. If I think about the bad thing then I have to immediately think about all the things I need to do to be my best me. I need to workout, bible study, meditate, practice my French,read non fiction, dress to the nines, flawless makeup, on point hair, cook a fresh breakfast and prep a healthy lunch, connect with my friends and loved ones who build me up, plan my Easter vignettes throughout my home, buy the supplies for the vignettes, shop for my new skin care regimen, watch YouTube for the new regimen. Lol things that are all about me. And throughout the day if my thoughts slip then I can say “have I done x,y or z?” If the answer is no, then I have no time to think about that negative thing.

Take a page from the boys and compartmentalize. Focus on the task at hand.
 
So it happened again. I woke up this morning and several things flashed through my mind before I even sat up. He was one of them. Ugh! This is driving me insane. I don't like it at all. I feel like it's because we had such a great date on Friday and I've only had one text from him on Saturday and then another single random text on Tuesday not saying anything of substance. I have to get my mind right.
 
KammyGirl said:
So it happened again. I woke up this morning and several things flashed through my mind before I even sat up. He was one of them. Ugh! This is driving me insane. I don't like it at all. I feel like it's because we had such a great date on Friday and I've only had one text from him on Saturday and then another single random text on Tuesday not saying anything of substance. I have to get my mind right.
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Date others. Always does the trick
 
KammyGirl said:
So it happened again. I woke up this morning and several things flashed through my mind before I even sat up. He was one of them. Ugh! This is driving me insane. I don't like it at all. I feel like it's because we had such a great date on Friday and I've only had one text from him on Saturday and then another single random text on Tuesday not saying anything of substance. I have to get my mind right.
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This wouldn’t be happening if he was hovering you, but he isn’t, so now you are becoming fixated on trying to figure out the why..
So what you are doing is playing checkers, and he is playing chess. Do whatever you need to take your mind/energy off of him. Any time he pops in your head, freeze the thought, put a black circle around him, then mark it with an X. Then focus on something else. You gotta train your thoughts on this one. Go back to your rotation dating if you need to.
 
RR says dating is free therapy. She's right. While I don't believe in using men per se :look: I do think there's value to going out with lots of different men and see how they trigger you in various ways. I'm going through such an amazing period of growth right now and learning a lot about myself. For example, I realize that when men are coming towards me (which is supposedly what I want, right :look:), I get a little put off. But the men who are not stepping up? They easily capture my attention :rolleyes: Why do we do this?!?!
 
Belle Du Jour said:
THIS. Rotational dating is magical. It really does prevent you from getting stuck on one person.
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Belle Du Jour said:
RR says dating is free therapy. She's right. While I don't believe in using men per se :look: I do think there's value to going out with lots of different men and see how they trigger you in various ways. I'm going through such an amazing period of growth right now and learning a lot about myself. For example, I realize that when men are coming towards me (which is supposedly what I want, right :look:), I get a little put off. But the men who are not stepping up? They easily capture my attention :rolleyes: Why do we do this?!?!
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This is why sometimes I feel like dating others doesn't always keep you from getting stuck on one person. I want to say like 95% of the time it does. :lol: Other times it's like you said the ones not stepping up capture your attention while you are put off by the ones coming toward you. And even if they are all stepping up, we always tend to like one more than we like the others - it's only natural. Don't get me wrong I am definitely team circular dating and my rotation usually does help me just saying.

In other news, I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought about was my hair appointment tomorrow :) I need my hair done like yesterday.
 
KammyGirl said:
This is why sometimes I feel like dating others doesn't always keep you from getting stuck on one person. I want to say like 95% of the time it does. :lol: Other times it's like you said the ones not stepping up capture your attention while you are put off by the ones coming toward you. And even if they are all stepping up, we always tend to like one more than we like the others - it's only natural. Don't get me wrong I am definitely team circular dating and my rotation usually does help me just saying.

In other news, I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought about was my hair appointment tomorrow :) I need my hair done like yesterday.
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Right, it's not perfect LOL. Like you said, we may prefer one man over the other but we're supposed to be treating all of the men in the rotation equally until one really steps up. A lot of women are poor choosers. We choose based on whether we have instant chemistry but dismiss men who are stepping up but maybe we don't feel that spark right away. I realize that for a long time, I was attracted to emotionally unavailable men because it was safer for me. RD'ing has forced me to face those issues head on :yep:

Congrats on not thinking about your guy first thing in the morning!
 
Belle Du Jour said:
RR says dating is free therapy. She's right. While I don't believe in using men per se :look: I do think there's value to going out with lots of different men and see how they trigger you in various ways.
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Yessss!! You can only learn so much about yourself being alone. I believe you must date or be in a relationship to learn more about yourself. For example I learned recently that I’m a commitment phobe. Boy was I shocked. :lol: it’s no one’s fault but myself that I’m single... and I’m more comfortable that way. :look: I push men away. I say I want a man that does xy and z but when I get it handed to me on a silver platter I find something wrong with him! :spinning: Thank goodness I’m learning y’all.
 
KammyGirl said:
You know what I hate. When I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think about is a guy. Rori says I'm giving up my power and recommends the Modern Siren program for this. But the thing is, isn't it natural to wonder why a guy hasn't called or why he does stupid things that's going to tick you off? For the first time in a while I woke up this morning and wondered about a guy as soon as I opened my eyes. I absolutely hate that!
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***edit*** found my answer

TIA
 
Need to get back to practicing these things. I was doing so well. And isn't that how it works - when you think you're a pro at something you realize you can always use the practice and there's always more learning to be done. Going back to my original blueprint. Heart Connection Toolkit is first up on the menu.
 
Although this isn't specific to RR (because I'm not exclusively using her work) I feel like my life has done a 180 since I first learned about this feminine energy work. Inner work is the key!!! It doesn't matter what coach a person follows (different coaches will resonate with different women--and it's really all the same info just presented with a different spin). But this work MUST be done. And while I feel like there's still a niche for therapy for those deep wounds, this type of feminine inner work can cut to a place where traditional therapy usually doesn't go. It's absolutely the key to wholeness. Self-love first and the man, the career, the money, etc will follow.
 
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