The Planning a Wedding Vent Thread

[mg1979]

So we all know as much as our wedding day is such a special happy time, planning a wedding can get down right stessful. So I thought it would be nice to have a thread where you can come in and vent and de-stress in a totally safe environment without judgment. It's not always easy to do this with your family and friends, because they might take it personally.

I'll start this off...one of my biggest struggles has been dealing with the wants or even criticisms of others. My fiance and I have made some decisions about things regarding our wedding, especially regarding expenses, without anyone offering help (emotionally or financially), only for them to complain now that it's too late to change something. If these things mattered so much to them, the time to have offered up some suggestions, help, money, etc. was many, many months ago. We are both struggling on how to respond without hurting anyone's feelings. Anyone feel me on this?

 

[MrsMe]

I not only feel you, but I also know that I will have to hear the same nonsense down the line.
We are saving up for our wedding and so far nobody but my mom has offered to help with the wedding expenses.
People think that FI and I have money just because we don't complain all day about our finances, so we don't need any.
We are going to cut certain things out and I can already hear all the uproar these things are going to cause. But I just won't pay them any mind. That's the last thing you need on top of all the planning hiccups you can encounter.


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[mg1979]

I not only feel you, but I also know that I will have to hear the same nonsense down the line.
We are saving up for our wedding and so far nobody but my mom has offered to help with the wedding expenses.
People think that FI and I have money just because we don't complain all day about our finances, so we don't need any.
We are going to cut certain things out and I can already hear all the uproar these things are going to cause. But I just won't pay them any mind. That's the last thing you need on top of all the planning hiccups you can encounter.


Sent from my HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App

I think that's our thing too...we don't complain about our finances and we don't ask for help...we just manage our money very well so we don't have to. But that doesn't mean we are loaded. But I agree with ya...this is the last thing anyone needs on
top of everything else!



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[Sade]

Oh Ladies let me tell you! I have had enough of people asking me why I am having my wedding where I am having it because it isn't convenient for them. I have started getting rude to then though. I ask where they think I should have the wedding and then promptly tell them they can pay, plan, and invite who ever they want to the wedding they plan in their city of choice....LOL. I think since I started doing that people realized I am not taking any mess from them so they stop bugging me. FI and I are paying for it so we get to have a say on EVERYTHING. If people don't like that they don't have to come it will save us some money. We have never asked anyone for money.

My other vent is people who don't think is necessary to RSVP but the call me a month after the RSVP date to say they are coming. Who does that?!! How rude?! I told them not to bother coming since I already sent my headcounts to the caterer and it can't be changed. Now I am the bad guy..ppfttt whatever!

Or the people who call and ask me questions about things that I put on my website. No... they are not old and it isn't like they don't have a computer. They are just trifling.

<end Rant>

 

[mg1979]

Oh Ladies let me tell you! I have had enough of people asking me why I am having my wedding where I am having it because it isn't convenient for them. I have started getting rude to then though. I ask where they think I should have the wedding and then promptly tell them they can pay, plan, and invite who ever they want to the wedding they plan in their city of choice....LOL. I think since I started doing that people realized I am not taking any mess from them so they stop bugging me. FI and I are paying for it so we get to have a say on EVERYTHING. If people don't like that they don't have to come it will save us some money. We have never asked anyone for money.

My other vent is people who don't think is necessary to RSVP but the call me a month after the RSVP date to say they are coming. Who does that?!! How rude?! I told them not to bother coming since I already sent my headcounts to the caterer and it can't be changed. Now I am the bad guy..ppfttt whatever!

Or the people who call and ask me questions about things that I put on my website. No... they are not old and it isn't like they don't have a computer. They are just trifling.

<end Rant>

Well, good for you for speaking your mind! I agree if you're paying for everything yourself, I just don't understand why people feel it's okay to criticize. Especially when everyone knows how stressful and expensive weddings can be. I feel like people are way more concerned about themselves when they should just be there to celebrate your wonderful day! How did it get switched to where people thing the day is about anyone other then the bride & groom?!

Oooh, and the RSVPs? You sent them with a deadline for a reason, the nerve of people. I can see a few days, but a month after the deadline.

 

[Danene5]

I am a Bridal Consultant and I am going to tell you what I tell all of my brides. Let them know politely that it is your day and you have chosen all of the necessities based upon you and your husband to be preference. You are glad they are so concerned but it is your day and you would like to be as stress free as possible, and all of the extra criticism is not beneficial to you or your marriage.

 

[DarkHair]

Wow! I wish all of you luck.
I'm in the early stages of planning my renewal. My issue is that it's for close family and friends. Meaning if my own mother doesn't want to be there...then she doesn't have to. It's about me and him....again. Anywho, the first time around I got no help from hubs's family. They did invite folks though. I've been through a lot with them since then...and I don't want them to come. The people that I want there are those that love and care for US, not half of US. I've found an inexpensive venue locally, but destination may be what's for me.