The Argument Of Child Support

[GraceJones]

Does this belong in the relationship forum? IDK.

But anyway, I have this friend who says he does not believe in child support in the way it is.

He said that there are some women that purposely get pregnant just to receive child support.

I told him those men need to use protection and choose who they sleep with more wisely.

He then made the argument that if he has children with someone and they break up, he doesn't feel like he should be contributing such a large percentage of his check to his ex. He said that all that does is give the other person an incentive not to work, and just live off the support. He also feels like her next man would be benefitting off of his money. He said he knows someone who makes 6 figures and pays child support and alimony to his wife, which leaves him with basically nothing. I think he pays like $2.5k a month. I feel like this is nothing when raising multiple children but I don't have any sooo...

Too bad. Get a second job.

I said that child support was a system created by men to benefit men. If they were together, he would be contributing a larger percentage.
I told him these men need to choose better and work harder to keep their families together if they don't want such a large percentage of their income being taken. If you don't want to pay support, you raise your kids yourself. Children fare better with their fathers anyway. My dad and my step mom raised me when my parents broke up.

He believe that the person receiving the support should account for every dollar spend, provided with receipts to explain the expenses actually went to the child. Needless to say, he doesn't want kids.

I don't have any kids, but would NEVA do this if a man asked me. I might even tell him to go f himself. WTH? How do you account for electricity, food, gas, etc.


This is not someone I'm dating. Sometimes I feel like he's a good man and then other times I feel sorry for his spouse because I think he is so petty and selfish.

We have totally different ideas about family values, clearly.

What do you guys think about the current child support? Do you think it makes sense the way we have it set up now?

 

[DarkJoy]

I didn't finish reading past the 3rd paragraph. dude is a bum and why bm are so poorly stereotyped. I'd remove this jerk from my circle. the end.

 

[ladysaraii]

Children fare better with their fathers anyway.

SOME children do. I'd avoid making such a blanket statement.

 

[Covagirlm]

He's not a good man.

 

[Wildchild453]

Realistically, who is really living off a child support check? Men are so dumb.

 

[IslandMummy]

He's a bum.

 

[DarkJoy]

Thing is he's doing like so many bm do--mistaking caring for his child for paying the mother a "free ride". my patience for men like this is at a -10000.

 

[Kanky]

He sounds stupid. I don't like stupid people.

 

[frizzy]

He sounds like he was raised by a single mother and a non-existent dad.

I'm glad his beliefs are keeping him from procreating OOW.

 

[Thump]

I have one particular issue with the way child support is set up. I will update later after I think on it but this one really bothers me.

I don't think men should have to pay for children that are not theirs if it is proven that the mother has deceived them about paternity. This includes children being born within a marriage or out of wedlock unless they willingly choose to. I know several married men that have been victims and it has devastated them. First they find out the child/children are not theirs and then they get but the court system because the children were born within the marriage therefore the children are considered his by law.

 

[GraceJones]

I didn't finish reading past the 3rd paragraph. dude is a bum and why bm are so poorly stereotyped. I'd remove this jerk from my circle. the end.

It's not like he's broke either. He has the money. He just has no family values.

SOME children do. I'd avoid making such a blanket statement.

True, true. I'm obviously biased. But I think a father's presence is undeniable.

He's not a good man.

A lot of women fight over him, ironically enough.

Thing is he's doing like so many bm do--mistaking caring for his child for paying the mother a "free ride". my patience for men like this is at a -10000.

Who can realistically live off child support anyway? He says that he knows that some women don't work and they're able to buy luxury vehicles that they drive their new man in. How do you know how she got her car? That money isn't long enough.

He said it would literally drive him crazy. And then his friend complains to the children about the child support he has to pay his mom. What are the kids supposed to do? You're complaining to them about how you have to take care of them? Who does that???

He sounds like he was raised by a single mother and a non-existent dad.

I'm glad his beliefs are keeping him from procreating OOW.

How did you know that?
He had a step father, but neither the step father or father provided much. You would think he would want different for his kids and the woman he so called loves right?

I asked him why BM hate their seeds so much. He didn't answer me. It's not the child so much, it's the woman he doesn't want to benefit.


Yo, my dad didn't even know my mother that well when he got her pregnant. He still paid for everything! And he didn't whine about it to me either.

 

[Covagirlm]

A lot of women fight over him, ironically enough.

Standards are low.

 

[lesedi]

Blah blah blah bum arse little boy. I can't take men like this seriously.

 

[B_Phlyy]

I want to go to this fairytale land some men have been to where growing children are eating, being clothed and sheltered for free. Child support barely covers one of those things. Don't want to pay? Don't make a baby. Baby already here and you still don't want to pay? Take the baby with you and you'll know exactly where the money went.

 

[GraceJones]

I want to go to this fairytale land some men have been to where growing children are eating, being clothed and sheltered for free. Child support barely covers one of those things. Don't want to pay? Don't make a baby. Baby already here and you still don't want to pay? Take the baby with you and you'll know exactly where the money went.

He doesn't think it's free but he want to know where every single cent went. He doesn't want to woman profiting in any way.

 

[lesedi]

He doesn't think it's free but he want to know where every single cent went. He doesn't want to woman profiting in any way.

He shouldn't even be having sex, let alone procreating with an attitude like this. He sounds like an immature, controlling caveman. She owes him nothing.

 

[RUBY]

OP, if your friend doesn't want children please advised him to get a vasectomy to ensure that this doesn't happen. Tis all.

 

[B_Phlyy]

He doesn't think it's free but he want to know where every single cent went. He doesn't want to woman profiting in any way.

Like I said, take the baby then. Even if she was to give him an itemized list, how is he to determine if it was "worth " the money? What criteria is he using? "I said so" wouldn't suffice for me.

 

[okange76]

I believe both parents should be responsible for the child. Obviously the custodial parent should receive CS but CS should not be their only source of income. It should be supplemental.

Having children in a marriage is one thing. Forcing a one night stand, maintenance man, random boyfriend, FWB or even serious boyfriend into fatherhood they didn't want is how many of us end up dead. Even with husbands we have to be careful. If he's done with two and you force two or three more after the fact, you are taking a huge personal risk. We have to take care of our own sexual health. It's either he wears a condom or we get on birth control.

Men are inherently very selfish. If you leave the sexual health responsibility up to them, you'll end up like the Duggars with 19 kids except you'll be broke and by yourself.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

You need new friends.

 

[LovelyRo]

The men I've encountered typically hate child support and use these same stupid reasons.

I know a woman (single mom with an active father) that doesn't believe in court ordered child support (to each its own) and thinks that the mother should give the kid all the support the child needs if the dad isn't stepping up. She says moms are wasting valuable time at court when they should be spending that time with their kids.

 

[Thump]

The men I've encountered typically hate child support and use these same stupid reasons.

I know a woman (single mom with an active father) that doesn't believe in court ordered child support (to each its own) and thinks that the mother should give the kid all the support the child needs if the dad isn't stepping up. She says moms are wasting valuable time at court when they should be spending that time with their kids.

SMH... she is crazy and stupid as hell.

 

[LovelyRo]

SMH... she is crazy and stupid as hell.

Yet, she feels sooooo strongly about it. I think her stance is that if you picked a bum, that's your fault. Don't try to make him pay for your mistakes. And she thinks that women do it out of bitterness.

It irritates my soul everytime she posts about it. It's fine if CS wasn't an option for HER but, another woman putting her BD on CS has nothing to do with her.

 

[BrownBetty]

The men I've encountered typically hate child support and use these same stupid reasons.

I know a woman (single mom with an active father) that doesn't believe in court ordered child support (to each its own) and thinks that the mother should give the kid all the support the child needs if the dad isn't stepping up. She says moms are wasting valuable time at court when they should be spending that time with their kids.

I have a friend who was just like that until her male friend told her that child support was for the child and not her.
If she didn't want it that was fine but she owed her child to pursue the support. She said it woke her up. She was the first mother of her child's father that took him to court. He had five kids. Before that he would send money when he felt like it.

To your friend OP he is a mess. There are very few women who are living the life off of CS. I be damned if I give you a receipt for how I spend $250 per month.

 

[nysister]

So he wants to make them but no pay for them. What a loser.

 

[PuddingPop]

I believe both parents should be responsible for the child. Obviously the custodial parent should receive CS but CS should not be their only source of income. It should be supplemental.

Having children in a marriage is one thing. Forcing a one night stand, maintenance man, random boyfriend, FWB or even serious boyfriend into fatherhood they didn't want is how many of us end up dead. Even with husbands we have to be careful. If he's done with two and you force two or three more after the fact, you are taking a huge personal risk. We have to take care of our own sexual health. It's either he wears a condom or we get on birth control.

Men are inherently very selfish. If you leave the sexual health responsibility up to them, you'll end up like the Duggars with 19 kids except you'll be broke and by yourself.

I agree with this. Women should not expect child support to cover all the expenses of a child. It should only cover half of reasonable expenses because both parents must contribute financially to the child. I think many forget this and say that the child support isn't enough if the child support alone doesn't cover everything the child needs and then some.

Some custodial parents complain that what they receive in child support is not enough to cover the expenses of the child , and child support alone shouldn't be enough to cover everything but once the custodial parent adds their monetary contribution to the pot also.

 

[brownb83]

What about what's not covered monetarily?

picking up from school
Vomit duty
Hw help
Using sick days because the child is sick?

 

[Thump]

Yet, she feels sooooo strongly about it. I think her stance is that if you picked a bum, that's your fault. Don't try to make him pay for your mistakes. And she thinks that women do it out of bitterness.

It irritates my soul everytime she posts about it. It's fine if CS wasn't an option for HER but, another woman putting her BD on CS has nothing to do with her.

It might be my fault that I picked a bum, but that ain't got squat to do with my child. He is gonna to be responsible financially just like I am. Said bum does not have a choice in the matter.

 

[IslandMummy]

What about what's not covered monetarily?

picking up from school
Vomit duty
Hw help
Using sick days because the child is sick?

No one cares about any of that. Men and a whole lot of "pick me" women.

 

[B_Phlyy]

What about what's not covered monetarily?

picking up from school
Vomit duty
Hw help
Using sick days because the child is sick?

All of this. Child support money is not just the bills and coins you use to pay. It's the time and missed opportunities because you needed to be doing something with/for the child.