Strategies for Thick Girls
- Thread starter Belle Du Jour
- Start date
snillohsss
New Member
No it isn't!!! Lol!! You need to get out more.
I know of entire communities where the majority of the women are plus size and they could purchase your hopes and dreams.
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BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Eh, what the hell... guess I'll comment too.
- I don't believe that all a thick/big girl needs is confidence. Yes, it's nice. As well as dressing to fit YOUR frame/body type. But some men (emphasis on "some") men will not be attracted to you. This does not mean that the men you DO attract will somehow be of "lesser quality" or fetish freaks.
- Weight is also not a socioeconomic indicator
As a whole, Americans are getting heavier. Which also brings me to the point that the average American woman is a size 14. So I doubt all of those women are struggling to find a man.
- Beauty has nothing to do with weight, IMO. I think that has everything to do with facial features, etc.
- With all that said, women should do what makes them comfortable. If you are overweight and you just don't feel like "you" then do what's necessary to see the person you feel you are, reflected in the mirror. You should stay true to yourself, not what others want you to be.
MissJ
Well-Known Member
First of all his wife wasn't that big when they first got married . And you don't know if it's a cheaper to keep her marriage or they could have some kind of "arrangement" going on for all we know. Can you name 1 millionaire or celeberity who married a woman who was already overweight? I'm not talking about people who been married for 10 or 20+ years. That don't count.
Michael Jackson
snillohsss
New Member
IONENABILLION
Active Member
Michael Jackson
How do you know he didn't marry her just because she was pregnant was his child? Everybody doesn't believe in having children out of wedlock. It doesn't change the fact that she's still the exception. You don't see rich men walking around with Debbie Rowes.
mischka
shrinkage.
i knew somebody had to come in here with some 'harsh reality' the way the thread jumped 40 replies from when i saw it earlier
i think for most guys being overweight aka CHUBBY is not always a deal breaker. but i do think in general when we are talking about obesity and morbid obeseness, confidence is not enough to overtake that... imo... there'd likely have to be much more background work going on in order to establish a romantic relationship. when we're talking 300 pounds come on now... the playing field is different there, and we all know that. it's not a bad thing to point that out...
i'm not skinny and i don't want to be. i'm five nine and a size 10/11, but in general i get compliments on my figure. this is me being modest because when im at the top of my game, my figure is the **** but, relationships dont come easy to me so even though its trite and tired at the end of the day looks arent the only answer. its like finding a job. you may have someone on your resume that will get you the interview, but that one thing isnt enough to guarantee you're getting hired.
i think for most guys being overweight aka CHUBBY is not always a deal breaker. but i do think in general when we are talking about obesity and morbid obeseness, confidence is not enough to overtake that... imo... there'd likely have to be much more background work going on in order to establish a romantic relationship. when we're talking 300 pounds come on now... the playing field is different there, and we all know that. it's not a bad thing to point that out...
i'm not skinny and i don't want to be. i'm five nine and a size 10/11, but in general i get compliments on my figure. this is me being modest because when im at the top of my game, my figure is the ****
but, relationships dont come easy to me so even though its trite and tired at the end of the day looks arent the only answer. its like finding a job. you may have someone on your resume that will get you the interview, but that one thing isnt enough to guarantee you're getting hired.TrueToHair
Well-Known Member
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mischka
shrinkage.
a size 14 back in the day is like a size six with today's vanity sizing.
TrueToHair
Well-Known Member
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TrueToHair
Well-Known Member
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VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
Honestly I think the most effective strategy is to lose the weight. As much as we want to turn a deaf ear weight does matter. Sometimes self reflection hurts but it is important. If weight is holding you back in your dating life why not make some life changes to align one to get what they desire. Hell that is becoming the one strategy I am implementing to be healthy.
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
The best advice for being a plus size girl in society is being yourself period.If your morbid dating isn't even in the cards at that point,since health is number 1.But if your chubby knowing who you are to me is the best.Having confidence is one thing but that comes and goes but knowing you in spite of flaws is so golden.Heck being fat isn't the worst thing in the world..what about the ugly..I mean dang I can lose weight but ugly you have to get surgery or something..
There are skinny women having trouble finding men too
. And using the examples such as Halle and Stacy, I am sure they don't have trouble attracting men, however history has shown their weight wasn't the be all and end all of keeping a man. So it seems skinny or thick alot of women seem to have trouble finding men.VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
There are skinny women having trouble finding men too
Halle seems to have her own inner reasons for why she cant keep a relationship. She is still one of the most beautiful women in the world. I mean come on what other reasons would there be? The real reason is why this is still an issue continuously?
I still feel the odds are stacked against you if one is not at an ideal/ healthy weight.
VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
Agreeing with all your posts. We as women need to stop sugarcoating stuff and accept it. Self reflection for some is hard to do. I don't know one man who is not superficial when it comes to a woman he wants as a potential girlfriend or wife. Men rate women all the time on the infamous 1-10 scale. How you rate on the scale determines what category they are going to put you in.
mischka
shrinkage.
Not to derail the thread and definitely not to make you feel like this is a personal attack on you - you dont even have to answer actually - but do you consider yourself chubby? I ask this because from some of the things you have posted before I got the impression that you were a bit past chubby and I know you are interested in finding a relationship. It seems like when it comes to weight and love, it's easy to acknowledge the issues are there, and acknowledge how to change them, but it's a different thing entirely, like a theoretical hypothetical thing, to actually make those changes. I think there's room for a strategy in there somewhere
So why can't these be reasons for not attracting a man regardless of size? I am not talking about fat here, but for as the Op mentioned, for thick girls(and even for a person who is fat).
I am a skinny girl and I can say from experience, many times my thicker friends were picked over me. ALOT of men loved their size and most of all they were VERY comfortable in their skin. Thats why I think this argument is slightly moot. While women LOVED my shape, I found some men liked it and others thought I was on the thin side. So it depends. But I will say, this is a board of women and not many men post here, so I am always hesitant of hearing from women what men like
. And for the record, Dh has always prefered me bit thicker.VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
True which is why I never 100% take to heart what this all group of women have to say on this subject or relationships in general. Usually one knows why they are single. There will always be men who go against the grain in what they prefer but your options increase with a slimmer body style.So why can't these be reasons for not attracting a man regardless of size? I am not talking about fat here, but for as the Op mentioned, for thick girls(and even for a person who is fat).
I am a skinny girl and I can say from experience, many times my thicker friends were picked over me. ALOT of men loved their size and most of all they were VERY comfortable in their skin. Thats why I think this argument is slightly moot. While women LOVED my shape, I found some men liked it and others thought I was on the thin side. So it depends. But I will say, this is a board of women and not many men post here, so I am always hesitant of hearing from women what men like
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
Not to derail the thread and definitely not to make you feel like this is a personal attack on you - you dont even have to answer actually - but do you consider yourself chubby? I ask this because from some of the things you have posted before I got the impression that you were a bit past chubby and I know you are interested in finding a relationship. It seems like when it comes to weight and love, it's easy to acknowledge the issues are there, and acknowledge how to change them, but it's a different thing entirely, like a theoretical hypothetical thing, to actually make those changes. I think there's room for a strategy in there somewhere
Even if she is "a bit past chubby"
it doesn't negate her point, which was made in the abstract, not about herself personally. /overprotecting lil' sis
Mrs. N Lugo
New Member
So why can't these be reasons for not attracting a man regardless of size? I am not talking about fat here, but for as the Op mentioned, for thick girls(and even for a person who is fat).
I am a skinny girl and I can say from experience, many times my thicker friends were picked over me. ALOT of men loved their size and most of all they were VERY comfortable in their skin. Thats why I think this argument is slightly moot. While women LOVED my shape, I found some men liked it and others thought I was on the thin side. So it depends. But I will say, this is a board of women and not many men post here, so I am always hesitant of hearing from women what men like
I have never experienced the bolded. I am thin and very curvy. I am stacked for a thin woman.
I don't think the OP is asking for strategies for women like CoCo (Ice T's lady) or Beyonce when she was thicker. Those women don't need tips because they are fit, shapely, and have a normal weight. Nor is she speaking of the Deelishis/Buffy The Body types. All the women above have been described as thick and all have very desirable body types and they definitely don't need tips or strategies to attract men.
I believe the OP is using the term thick to describe women who are considered fat by most standards. Like Monique, the lady from Precious, and others like the women pictured below.
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snillohsss
New Member
Not to derail the thread and definitely not to make you feel like this is a personal attack on you - you dont even have to answer actually - but do you consider yourself chubby? I ask this because from some of the things you have posted before I got the impression that you were a bit past chubby and I know you are interested in finding a relationship. It seems like when it comes to weight and love, it's easy to acknowledge the issues are there, and acknowledge how to change them, but it's a different thing entirely, like a theoretical hypothetical thing, to actually make those changes. I think there's room for a strategy in there somewhere
She wasn't talking about herself. She was generally speaking. Too the bolded, and not speaking about weight, I hope you are taking this same advice, because some of the things I have seen you post.........well....
snillohsss
New Member
I have never experienced the bolded. I am thin and very curvy. I am stacked for a thin woman.
I don't think the OP is asking for strategies for women like CoCo (Ice T's lady) or Beyonce when she was thicker. Those women don't need tips because they are fit, shapely, and have a normal weight. Nor is she speaking of the Deelishis/Buffy The Body types. All the women above have been described as thick and all have very desirable body types and they definitely don't need tips or strategies to attract men.
I believe the OP is using the term thick to describe women who are considered fat by most standards. Like Monique, the lady from Precious, and others like the women pictured below.
this is where things got twisted in this thread. The word "thick" is being used incorrectly. We are talking about fat women. The Coco's, Buffies, and Deelishes types do not need strategies to get men, they need strategies to get all the men away!IONENABILLION
Active Member
There are skinny women having trouble finding men too
I never said slim women didn't have trouble finding men. But, wholesale, most men (again not all) are going to choose a woman who is in shape over a overweight woman. I brought up Stacey and Halle to show you can be slim and still be curvy because people were taking it to the extreme actling like I was saying you have to look like Calista Flockhart to get a man. And keeping a man wasn't what this thread was about. Keeping a man is important but you have to attract him first. Your putting the cart before the horse. And I'm not discounting the fact that a woman still has to choose the right man. But what can she choose if nobody is there?
I have never experienced the bolded. I am thin and very curvy. I am stacked for a thin woman.
I don't think the OP is asking for strategies for women like CoCo (Ice T's lady) or Beyonce when she was thicker. Those women don't need tips because they are fit, shapely, and have a normal weight. Nor is she speaking of the Deelishis/Buffy The Body types. All the women above have been described as thick and all have very desirable body types and they definitely don't need tips or strategies to attract men.
I believe the OP is using the term thick to describe women who are considered fat by most standards. Like Monique, the lady from Precious, and others like the women pictured below.
So am I
.Okay, I stand corrected. While OP did not say how thick she was, I assumed she was a thicker woman who may have been on the larger side but with thicker thighs, butt etc. The thing with the term thick is that it is slightly relative. What may be thick to one is heavy to another.
I still think that if OP wants answers she should ask men or women who are thick or plus sized that are pulling these men because I don't think all heavy sized women are single. Nor do I think all skinny women can give her the advice because it can come across as being snarky
Well it's already been answered in this thread that most men prefer this:
to this
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snillohsss
New Member
Never heard of a man who prefers Monique? Monique should be the after right? She is fat. (your 2nd pic didn't show up)
mischka
shrinkage.
Even if she is "a bit past chubby"
/overprotecting lil' sis
her point is negated. if she's saying extremely overweight girls shouldnt date bc they need to address their health issues first and she herself is extremely overweight yet wanting to date, there is a disconnect there. that being the case i think it's possible that that disconnect is present in a lot of overweight women where they understand their health is a cause for concern but go ahead and somehow manage to ignore it or move around it anyway like it's not there. you cant understand 'abstractly' that you need to do a before proceeding to b and then not do it.
it doesnt matter whether she was talking about herself or not, because she SHOULD have been. and i have mentioned several times that having a relationship is pretty far down on my list of priorities so i couldnt really give a sh8t less what advice you think i should take or what i should be doing especially considering your maladaptive and fragmented (which is a nice way of saying laughably ignorant and uninformed) understandings of race and relationships anyway. BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONCERN. im really not interested in derailing this thread bc you are butthurt and have a bone to pick over those ridiculous views you tried to advance in the last relationship post, so please refrain from trying to have a conversation regarding me personally in future.
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I've never heard of a man who prefered Monique, but I'm sure they are out there as I see fat women in relationships all the time. I just didn't know as a whole that men preferred Monique types over Kelly types until I came to this board. Learn something new everyday.