Spinoff: Why get married??

[tatje]

I'm just wondering. I am someone who would love to get married someday. Always have and always will. But now, after reading some threads/post on marriage and talking to some guys, I just wonder what's in it for me. It seems like when a guy gets married they gain somewhat of a housekeeper, a lover, someone to take care of there kids, and a cook. But what does a lady gain? I feel like I could provide for myself. Is the main reason to get married is to not be lonely your whole life. Like I said I believe marriage is the right thing to do if you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them. But what are the benefits for a lady?

With these thoughts in my head, I'm not so...............oh I can't wait for marriage. I'm more of, I have time or it will happen someday.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Some men are becoming anti-marriage as well. They see it as only beneficial for women, who can walk away with half of their assets in a divorce, even if they divorce over something like the woman cheating.

 

[Energist]

Well if you and your SO are emotional sappy pappys like my DH and I, it has a lot to do with emotional connection reasons aside from the obvious. We are always putting our hands together to look at our rings, we like to refer to each other as husband and wife. We also feel better about bringing children into the world as husband and wife. We'd just love our children to know that they were brought into the world by two people who loved each other enough to make that solid life long commitment to one another! I know that it has made a difference for me, knowing that my parents were married years before having me.

 

[dlewis]

I'm just wondering. I am someone who would love to get married someday. Always have and always will. But now, after reading some threads/post on marriage and talking to some guys, I just wonder what's in it for me. It seems like when a guy gets married they gain somewhat of a housekeeper, a lover, someone to take care of there kids, and a cook. But what does a lady gain? I feel like I could provide for myself. Is the main reason to get married is to not be lonely your whole life. Like I said I believe marriage is the right thing to do if you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them. But what are the benefits for a lady?

With these thoughts in my head, I'm not so...............oh I can't wait for marriage. I'm more of, I have time or it will happen someday.

A yard boy, someone to keep my car clean, keep things fixed an repaired around the house, sex on demand, and hunter and white perch and catfish fisherman.

I believe marriage can be wonderful and everything you hoped and dreamed. Of course, for most, it's not a fairytail. But it can be really good. I think I lucked up and got one of the good ones but he's not perfect.

 

[FlowerHair]

A yard boy, someone to keep my car clean, keep things fixed an repaired around the house, sex on demand, and hunter and white perch and catfish fisherman.

I believe marriage can be wonderful and everything you hoped and dreamed. Of course, for most, it's not a fairytail. But it can be really good. I think I lucked up and got one of the good ones but he's not perfect.

That was funny!

I think if children are in your future, marriage is a good option.

 

[MissScarlett]

A yard boy, someone to keep my car clean, keep things fixed an repaired around the house, sex on demand, and hunter and white perch and catfish fisherman.

I believe marriage can be wonderful and everything you hoped and dreamed. Of course, for most, it's not a fairytail. But it can be really good. I think I lucked up and got one of the good ones but he's not perfect.

Girl you are crazy. I second all of those things....I got a flat tire the other day, I ran over a work siteerplexed dh dropped everything, changed my tire in a suit in tie in 100 degree weather while I sat in my truck and chatted on the phone. While I waited on dh, a BUNCH OF LOSERS drove by seeing me, a ( cute) stranded woman ....sigh. That's when I thought wow having a husband really works out.

OP, I wil come back with a more serious answer

 

[tatje]

A yard boy, someone to keep my car clean, keep things fixed an repaired around the house, sex on demand, and hunter and white perch and catfish fisherman.

I believe marriage can be wonderful and everything you hoped and dreamed. Of course, for most, it's not a fairytail. But it can be really good. I think I lucked up and got one of the good ones but he's not perfect.

That's funny. Sounds great. Even though now when I ask a guy what do you do? Are you a handy man? Many say no. They want to consider themselves the pretty boy type or the one who just makes the money and that's it.

I not someone who would say, "I'm fine with the situation were in. No need for marriage," I was just starting to see marriage as more work put in by me with probably a lot more responsibilities. Maybe it's because I like a little control and like things in order. It's hard for me to just let someone else have all responsibility on something.

 

[dlewis]

That's funny. Sounds great. Even though now when I ask a guy what do you do? Are you a handy man? Many say no. They want to consider themselves the pretty boy type or the one who just makes the money and that's it.

I not someone who would say, "I'm fine with the situation were in. No need for marriage," I was just starting to see marriage as more work put in by me with probably a lot more responsibilities. Maybe it's because I like a little control and like things in order. It's hard for me to just let someone else have all responsibility on something.

I was like that to, VERY CONTROLING. I thankful to G-d that I'm not in bondage like that anymore. That was really awful for me.

You'll find a good man, that'll be excatly what you want.

 

[MissScarlett]

That's funny. Sounds great. Even though now when I ask a guy what do you do? Are you a handy man? Many say no. They want to consider themselves the pretty boy type or the one who just makes the money and that's it.

I not someone who would say, "I'm fine with the situation were in. No need for marriage," I was just starting to see marriage as more work put in by me with probably a lot more responsibilities. Maybe it's because I like a little control and like things in order. It's hard for me to just let someone else have all responsibility on something.

Maybe it's because I like a little control and like things in order. It's hard for me to just let someone else have all responsibility on something.[/

The hard thing for me and often still is, I"m very independent. I'm a control freak (capricorn) but marriage is so out of anyone's I finally had to just 'give' over to the idea that its a partnership and agreement.
Well marriage WILL throw you a curve ball because it is not going to fall into this cookie cutter box you want it to and yes it is WORK. When I got married, not only did I marry someone and enter into a partnership I had to COMMITT to being married, which I think is a whole different thing that 'getting married"

Having someone you can plan a future with, share things with and know that person is SOLEY committed to you is a wondrous thing, there's this total sense of security and stability.

Oh and those new age kneegrows...that don't like to be handy men, see I just avoided those all together . I like masculine men that can't get dirty and clean up very well.

 

[MissScarlett]

Sorry OT: dlewis, I LOVE your new pic!

Is that what you can a tan? I got a tan when I turned 18 that never went away...that's not a tan

 

[Shimmie]

Angel, don't allow the disappointments of this life to discourage your dreams and desires. Why deprive the man whom God brings into your life, the joy of knowing you as his wife?

When two people marry, they truly do become one and God honors this. Yes, granted there are many unmarried who 'live' the benefits of marriage, yet, they do not have the FULL benefits, neither spirit, soul or body.

Allow me to share something:

I over slept this morning and while I rushed to shower and get dressed, the phone rang, someone I love was on the other end...it occured to me I'm not alone in this life; there's someone who cared enough to call me that early to make sure I was doing okay.

Obviously there was a connection with him, that something was 'off' with me this morning and he somehow 'caught' on to it and he called me at that time. What he doesn't know is that his call saved me from sitting down on my sofa and going back to sleep. My mind and my body was totally off this morning and it still is. Both he and God were looking out for me.

I'm sharing this because in marriage, things like this will be 'heightened' up to the highest power. In marriage, you will always be one...in sync with each other. You will "KNOW" your husband and he will "KNOW" you. It doesn't matter about the disagreements because they are actually necessary to keep your relationship healthy and strong. Things cannot go smoothly all the time. That's hidieous and dangerous. Marriages need tough skin and believe me, your skin will be tested.

Angel, get married, if that's what you desire. Somebody has to prove the negative statistics on marriage wrong. Why not let it be you...

I wish you blessings and peace all the way to the Altar and beyond.

 

[dlewis]

Sorry OT: dlewis, I LOVE your new pic!

Is that what you can a tan? I got a tan when I turned 18 that never went away...that's not a tan

IT IS A TAN! i like my tan

 

[Cichelle]

My husband does so much for me. He really goes out of his way to make me happy. I hope I make him happy too. Marriage has its ups and downs, but there is something wonderful about having that steady, solid partnership. Whenever I am out and about in the world, in good times and bad, I know there is someone who is there for me and who counts on me too. It's a nice feeling. But you don't have to be married to have that. There are many different types of relationships people can build that can be just as fulfilling. I suppose the benefit of marriage is the legal aspects and the fact that society tends to look at a relationship more seriously and respectfully if the two people are married. Those things may or may not matter to the people involved.

 

[tatje]

IT IS A TAN! i like my tan

Your a very beautiful woman.

 

[dlewis]

Your a very beautiful woman.

Thank you so much

 

[Shimmie]

I'd like to add something else.

When a man loves you enough to marry you, it says alot about him. Especially in this day and time when he has 'other' options not to.

This means you mean more to him than about having sex. It means that he has both of his feet firmly planted into your relationship. It means that you are his choice to share and grow the rest of his life with.

When a man loves a woman enough to marry her, it's real. For he is willing to take every risk and responsibility that comes with it. He's committed himself to share all that there is about life with you and to develop what the two of you started in dating, into something more.

When a man loves a woman enough to marry her, he's taking all of her and he not standing on the threshold of your relationship with one foot out of the door, ready to back out. He doesn't want the freedom to back out; he wants to stay. Committment has a purpose and importance to him. And he's chosen you above all others to be his wife.

Granted, many opt for the opposite, but the full committment is not proven unless you are married. He loved you enough to marry you.

 

[tatje]

Angel, don't allow the disappointments of this life to discourage your dreams and desires. Why deprive the man whom God brings into your life, the joy of knowing you as his wife?

When two people marry, they truly do become one and God honors this. Yes, granted there are many unmarried who 'live' the benefits of marriage, yet, they do not have the FULL benefits, neither spirit, soul or body.

Allow me to share something:

I over slept this morning and while I rushed to shower and get dressed, the phone rang, someone I love was on the other end...it occured to me I'm not alone in this life; there's someone who cared enough to call me that early to make sure I was doing okay.

Obviously there was a connection with him, that something was 'off' with me this morning and he somehow 'caught' on to it and he called me at that time. What he doesn't know is that his call saved me from sitting down on my sofa and going back to sleep. My mind and my body was totally off this morning and it still is. Both he and God were looking out for me.

I'm sharing this because in marriage, things like this will be 'heightened' up to the highest power. In marriage, you will always be one...in sync with each other. You will "KNOW" your husband and he will "KNOW" you. It doesn't matter about the disagreements because they are actually necessary to keep your relationship healthy and strong. Things cannot go smoothly all the time. That's hidieous and dangerous. Marriages need tough skin and believe me, your skin will be tested.

Angel, get married, if that's what you desire. Somebody has to prove the negative statistics on marriage wrong. Why not let it be you...

I wish you blessings and peace all the way to the Altar and beyond.

Thank you very much for that. I was starting to drift off on the marriage but now I see it's really not just about the what can you do for me and what I can do for you? It's more. Thank you. I'll just have to pray on it and the whole idea behind it.

 

[Keen]

A yard boy, someone to keep my car clean, keep things fixed an repaired around the house, sex on demand, and hunter and white perch and catfish fisherman.

I believe marriage can be wonderful and everything you hoped and dreamed. Of course, for most, it's not a fairytail. But it can be really good. I think I lucked up and got one of the good ones but he's not perfect.

Whatever works for you. I do agree that it is not a fairytail.

BTW your hair is banging.

 

[Shimmie]

A yard boy, someone to keep my car clean, keep things fixed an repaired around the house, sex on demand, and hunter and white perch and catfish fisherman.

I believe marriage can be wonderful and everything you hoped and dreamed. Of course, for most, it's not a fairytail. But it can be really good. I think I lucked up and got one of the good ones but he's not perfect.

Lady D, you need to stop.

Ummmm, you also have someone who can shoot a deer....

Sex on demand sounds like that Comcast cable commercial...just push a button and he's ready to go. But which button do you have to push?

BTW: Countdown to your wedding anniversary....Beautiful Bride...

 

[Keen]

I'd like to add something else.

When a man loves you enough to marry you, it says alot about him. Especially in this day and time when he has 'other' options not to.

This means you mean more to him than about having sex. It means that he has both of his feet firmly planted into your relationship. It means that you are his choice to share and grow the rest of his life with.

When a man loves a woman enough to marry her, it's real. For he is willing to take every risk and responsibility that comes with it. He's committed himself to share all that there is about life with you and to develop what the two of you started in dating, into something more.

When a man loves a woman enough to marry her, he's taking all of her and he not standing on the threshold of your relationship with one foot out of the door, ready to back out. He doesn't want the freedom to back out; he wants to stay. Committment has a purpose and importance to him. And he's chosen you above all others to be his wife.

Granted, many opt for the opposite, but the full committment is not proven unless you are married. He loved you enough to marry you.

I've been second guessing marriage ever since I've seen so many crumbled around me. I see people put too much into the process of getting married (the wedding) instead of the union itself. Your comments about marriage always give me encouragement that I will not necessarily suffer the same faith as others around me.

 

[tatje]

This also really came about when I began talking to my bf and he was talking about marriage with me. He kept talking about doing laundry, cook, and just a wife's roles and I guess what he feels as obligations. It sort of turned me off, because I was like what are you going to do. What do you do? And he said he would be there. I was thinking " your here now" what do I have to get married for. That's it. Your expecting a lot from me and I'm not even expecting that much as far as abilities. And when I asked him are you a handy man he was like no. I'm like ok...........

 

[Ms Red]

Oh God this is beautiful!!!

I'd like to add something else.

When a man loves you enough to marry you, it says alot about him. Especially in this day and time when he has 'other' options not to.

This means you mean more to him than about having sex. It means that he has both of his feet firmly planted into your relationship. It means that you are his choice to share and grow the rest of his life with.

When a man loves a woman enough to marry her, it's real. For he is willing to take every risk and responsibility that comes with it. He's committed himself to share all that there is about life with you and to develop what the two of you started in dating, into something more.

When a man loves a woman enough to marry her, he's taking all of her and he not standing on the threshold of your relationship with one foot out of the door, ready to back out. He doesn't want the freedom to back out; he wants to stay. Committment has a purpose and importance to him. And he's chosen you above all others to be his wife.

Granted, many opt for the opposite, but the full committment is not proven unless you are married. He loved you enough to marry you.

 

[dlewis]

Lady D, you need to stop.

Ummmm, you also have someone who can shoot a deer....

Sex on demand sounds like that Comcast cable commercial...just push a button and he's ready to go. But which button do you have to push?

BTW: Countdown to your wedding anniversary....Beautiful Bride...

No buttons have to be push, I just need to kinda look in his direction, that's it.

Thanks Keen.

 

[Ayeshia]

I think men benefit more from a marriage than women do...thats not from negative viewpoint...but ever wonder why men get remarried quickly after a divorce? or you see more widows than widowers?

 

[Shimmie]

No buttons have to be push, I just need to kinda look in his direction, that's it.

Thanks Keen.

Whoopeeee!

I thought you had to push his belly button or something like that and then booinnnnngggg. You know I don't know this area.

J/K I'm being silly. I am so tired and sleepy this morning ...I'll behave.

 

[Southernbella.]

I'm just wondering. I am someone who would love to get married someday. Always have and always will. But now, after reading some threads/post on marriage and talking to some guys, I just wonder what's in it for me. It seems like when a guy gets married they gain somewhat of a housekeeper, a lover, someone to take care of there kids, and a cook. But what does a lady gain? I feel like I could provide for myself. Is the main reason to get married is to not be lonely your whole life. Like I said I believe marriage is the right thing to do if you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them. But what are the benefits for a lady?

With these thoughts in my head, I'm not so...............oh I can't wait for marriage. I'm more of, I have time or it will happen someday.

Marriage is spiritual to me. I wouldn't be able to have children and full intimacy with a partner without being married.

 

[dlewis]

Whoopeeee!

I thought you had to push his belly button or something like that and then booinnnnngggg. You know I don't know this area.

J/K I'm being silly. I am so tired and sleepy this morning ...I'll behave.

You should rest Shimmie, what were you going last night that got you so tired?

 

[foxxymami]

Sorry to get off topic, but Ayeshia your cornorows are lovely

 

[JFemme]

I think men benefit more from a marriage than women do...thats not from negative viewpoint...but ever wonder why men get remarried quickly after a divorce? or you see more widows than widowers?

Happily married, but in total agreement..

-------------------------------------



Why I Want a Wife by Judy Syfers (1971)


I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife.
And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother. Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?

I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife a wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturing attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.

I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals,serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue care for me and my when I need a rest and change of scene. I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.

I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who take care of the baby-sitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my quests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d'oeuvres, that they are offered a second helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself.

I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.

If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.
When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife's duties.

My God, who wouldn't want a wife?

 

[JFemme]

Angel, don't allow the disappointments of this life to discourage your dreams and desires. Why deprive the man whom God brings into your life, the joy of knowing you as his wife?

When two people marry, they truly do become one and God honors this. Yes, granted there are many unmarried who 'live' the benefits of marriage, yet, they do not have the FULL benefits, neither spirit, soul or body.

Allow me to share something:

I over slept this morning and while I rushed to shower and get dressed, the phone rang, someone I love was on the other end...it occured to me I'm not alone in this life; there's someone who cared enough to call me that early to make sure I was doing okay.

Obviously there was a connection with him, that something was 'off' with me this morning and he somehow 'caught' on to it and he called me at that time. What he doesn't know is that his call saved me from sitting down on my sofa and going back to sleep. My mind and my body was totally off this morning and it still is. Both he and God were looking out for me.

I'm sharing this because in marriage, things like this will be 'heightened' up to the highest power. In marriage, you will always be one...in sync with each other. You will "KNOW" your husband and he will "KNOW" you. It doesn't matter about the disagreements because they are actually necessary to keep your relationship healthy and strong. Things cannot go smoothly all the time. That's hidieous and dangerous. Marriages need tough skin and believe me, your skin will be tested.

Angel, get married, if that's what you desire. Somebody has to prove the negative statistics on marriage wrong. Why not let it be you...

I wish you blessings and peace all the way to the Altar and beyond.

Beautiful,.... Shimmie...