WOW! Keep up the good work ladies!
Remember:The key is to LOVE yourself, and improve on your feeling of fulfillment contentment (with or without a man).
Okay, as I promised...here is my "story". It's long, but I'll try to make it somewhat brief. I'll put the "Rule breakers" in
bold so that you ladies can pick out and learn from the mistakes that I made.
*PS---Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent... 
*MY Story...*
Okay, 2 years ago I met my guy friend *Jason. He's one of those handsome, flirty, manly play-boy type of guys that all the girls like (the kind of guys I SWORE I would never like in the first place). To be honest, at first when I met him I
didn't even like him like that! I was too busy with school, so I didn't have any guys on the mind at the time. But he kept showing me attention, complimenting me, and basically showing "interest signals". It wasn't long before I started to see him in a NEW light. :scratchch Well, thinking that he was a little shy/reserved (afterall, he was younger than me), I figured that maybe he needed a little "encouragement", and so since he was new to the area
I took it upon myself to invite him places with a group of my friends. He didn't even have to get my number because
I asked him for HIS number so that I could invite him some place fun with some friends of mine.
My sister was dating her now-husband at the time, and I saw her happiness, and wanted what she had so bad! I was about to graduate college, and so
I was now starting to look at guys as "prospects". I lost focus. After speaking with my sister's boyfriend about my interest in Jason, he suggested that I call him/text him and invite him some places with us. So, silly me,
I would call and invite him places with me, my sister, and her boyfriend. Oddly enough, he would come! So, at the time I was thrilled! It was like we were "double-dating", but...not quite. I can't even explain it. He would go with us to the movies, out to eat, and one time I even had 4 free tickets to a baseball game, and my sister's boyfriend invited him to come along too! Ugh...
I always wondered why I never felt "secure" whenever he would come with us. I always felt on edge.
I'd be afraid to speak my mind, afraid to offend him, I was trying to be SOOO "nice", and I was too nervous to really be myself. Him on the other hand...even though he would come with us, he would never really let his guard down. He'd be quiet, nervous (or so it seemed), and always on guard with me. Definitely not the same guy I would see when he'd be flirting/talking with OTHER girls.
Silly me, I thought that he was just "shy" or "nervous" because he "liked me" (or so I thought), and so I tried even harder! 
I wouldn't call him all the time, but I would text him sometimes. I figured hey...we were "friends" right? So what was the big deal?? I noticed however that
I was the one doing most of the initiating. Not always...but most of the time.
It wasn't until later on after months had gone by, that I realized that he was actually interested in 2 other girls.
Things didn't work out with the first girl, but he was always friends with the 2nd girl, but the girl would always deny that she had any interest in him!! Silly me, I thought she was telling the truth, so I felt that Jason was still fair game. Some embarassing things I did:
I invited him to a formal (granted, he came...but he wasn't really "into it"...now I know why!), I would initiate long-drawn out e-mails...at one point I asked him if he was mad at me! , I would invite him places, initiate texts, and some phone calls, etc. It wasn't until a year went by that I finally started to put two and two together. He and the other girl were interested in each other. By now I was fuming mad,
so I started treating him like dirt! I would give him the cold shoulder, ignore him, not really act happy to see him if he came and said hello to me, etc.
He would then be upset with me that I wasn't giving him the time of day. I think he felt somewhat guilty for somewhat leading me on, but at the same time didn't want to completely lose my friendship (if you can even call it that
).
At one point I just got too fed up with the tension between us, that
I initiated a heart-to-heart talk with him. I didn't berate him, but I just asked him if I had done anything to offend him since I could tell he had changed around me. He swore up and down that I had
never done anything to offend him at all. Yet, still I could tell that when we were around each other there was always this unspoken "tension". It wasn't until earlier this year that I just told myself to stop acting mean, be cordial, but "forget about him". I stopped inviting him places, I stopped initiating contact with him (even though I had quit long time ago), I didn't even approach him to say hello whenever we would see each other with mutual friends. It's almost like something happened late last year because when I stopped trying, he started doing MORE. Yet, I couldn't help but notice that he still wasn't dating me.
To add insult to the injury, as well as add to my utter confusion, I would pick up on the fact that Jason would always get weird/jealous/moody if another guy was interested or flirting with me. He would turn almost downright territorial at times.
Earlier this year, a mutual friend of ours started showing interest in me romantically. I'll call him Billy. Word started getting around that Billy was interested in me. One time, after a group of us had gone to the movies Billy and I were laughing and talking casually. Then, out of the corner of my eye I see Jason looking over at us with a disappointed look on his face. I noticed in the car on the ride home everyone else was really happy and having fun, but Jason was real quiet. Hmmm...
I
knew he was jealous, but I just let it go. I'm thinking, make up your mind dude!
Pretty soon, it got to the point where Billy started inviting me places, and Jason would get wind of it, and would want to come along too! Umm....okaaaayy... talk about awkward! I noticed that Jason seemed a lot more "pursuity" (if that's a word!
) than usual now that he sensed that Billy was interested in me. (I'm telling you ladies....men like the
HUNT! They love the chase!)
With Jason, I never gave him "the chase".
All he would have to say is: "hey, what do you have planned today?" and my knees would go weak. One time, Jason called me up and invited me last minute to watch a movie over his house. Silly me, I went. I didn't even pretend like I had other plans. Or, Jason would invite me places, and I'd ALWAYS be free.
I'd usually ALWAYS reply to his text messages or phone calls.
That's why I'm doing "the Rules". I'm no longer going to be on the "backburner" or as a back-up plan just in case things don't work out with him and this other girl he's casually dating. No way.
Now days, I sit back, relax, and let Jason (and
OTHER guys) do the work. It's funny because ever since I've been doing "The Rules", and have started to really get over Jason, it seems like he's more so seeking me out. I really don't know why since he basically has a girl that he's dating & interested in.
I just sit back, smile, and play coy these days. No more initiating conversations with him, no more trying to draw him out, no more being too available. If he invites me places, I'll say I have other plans.
This may sound mean, but I believe that if a guy really wants you, he won't quit very easily.
Believe me ladies...I have now learned my lesson!
[*END of Story]
Congrats if you've made it down this far.... Or, if you skipped the whole "story", I'll just paraphrase everything in a nutshell:
MEN LIKE THE PURSUIT! That's all I'll say plain and simple. I now see this very loud and clear. I am soooo ashamed at what I wrote above. It really hurts to read what I wrote above.
I can't even believe some of the silly, embarrassing things I did while I liked my guy friend Jason!
Trust me, when men know you like them, then
they have the upper hand. So these days, I don't even give Jason the time of day. I figure hey...if he wants me as more than a friend, I will know eventually. I don't really pay attention to him flirting with me, inviting me places, trying to start conversations, etc. In fact, these days I try my best to avoid him! But he always seems to "pop up" sometime eventually.
After reading "The Rules" however, I just feel like I have soooo much power now. Before, every little thing he did/said would have me analyzing. Now days...I don't even give it a second thought. I'm just thinking to myself: "Whatever".
I'll know if he wants a relationship with me by his ACTIONS.
So ladies...please don't make the mistake I made. Please don't. I have learned SO much over the past 2 years regarding guys and how they think. After reading WMLB and "The Rules, I now see all the mistakes I made.
So...you live and you learn!
. I was so tickled; thinking to myself, does he know that I'm reading WMLB...LOL.. He also said that I was so nice and sweet in the beginning and now that I acting like that other person…
LOL..we just laughed , but I knew what he wanted to say, but he know if he would have, it would not have been good…He keeps saying wait to we meet, cause he needs to put me in my place… We just laughed it off and I was like call me back….
Even when one of them checked out a girl walking by, I just ignore them.
What are "The Rules" you ask? "The Rules" is a book by authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, who advocate NOT chasing/pursuing a man in hopes of getting him to like you, start a relationship with you, or convincing him to marry you. Basically, the bottom line goal is to allow men to chase YOU! http://www.amazon.com/All-Rules-Tim...sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1223318064&sr=1-1
Yeah, it was pretty hard to write all of that, because I'm still going through all of that right now as I type this. It's also embarrassing to go through a play-by-play of the different mistakes you have made in the past. 
And not to say that there isn't a time and place for that...but not everyday on the regular for a sucessful relationship. At the end of the day, it's two balanced people who love each other and are making it work. 
