*Spinoff* "The Rules Challenge!--"Rules" girls get in here!

Highly Favored8 said:
Okay, I am going to Barnes and Noble in about an hour. They have the book for me on hold. I been engaged to my EX-Fiance for 4 years I am so like WTH. I am also Re-Reading why Men Love Bit**#! So, yes, I am up for it.
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Why Men Marry Witches and Why Men Love Witches are my 2 favorite must read books....I also have the rules in ,my purse.....want to know are you still engaed, or were you engaged to your ex fiance for 4 years?
 
Krazynkute0188 said:
Bunny you look like Joan from Girlfriends in your siggy
The hair has me ova here drooling!

Man the Rules suck....well they suck because they break me out of bad habits that I love doing. I hate never getting to call guys cuz I'm bored anymore. I really gotta find a hobby.... Anyway, I have decided that I really need me time right now. I need to focus on me me me and not guy 1 guy 2 guy 3. So far so good. I still talk to this guy though who is a real sweetie. i dont' see us going anywhere, but he is a good friend. I try out all "The Rules" on him. So far so good. The more i pull back, the more he comes towards me......the more I act nonchalent, the more he wonders why.... I still dun see any sparks flying, but I kinda like it like that....and the saga continues
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Awww, Krazy.... everyone tells me that! :) Even my mom!

Plus I kinda act like Joan too... I'm a bit quirky, so hey, I embrace it! :)

As for you, I'm glad you're starting the challenge. You'll be fine and when you learn to focus on YOU, when it's eventually time to be with the right guy, you'll be much more confident!

Have fun with the friend, but don't get too caught up in him!
 
weaveologist said:
I swear this book is so on point. Its kinda scary. I remember one part of the book saying how when you end phone calls first its better because they are wondering about what you are doing. Then the author gave a scenario about how when a woman she knew ended a call with her SO and then he called right back saying how he wanted to see her more....

So this week I have been doing alot better with the ending of the phone calls. It does sound childish but when they end the call with you that does leave you wondering. Espiacally when they say "I'll call you back" and never do! So this week the SO/EX-SO whatever (cuz I'm still confused:nono:) has been calling and I give him a chance to talk, I am really nice, keeping busy, blah, blah, blah, then I get off the phone nicely.....Now you don't think that staying on the phone with someone is even noticeable but he had the audacity to tell me one day that I never get off the phone with him. NEVER. Though that may be true, I wouldn't even think he noticed who got off the phone with who first and how much....So anyway, I did that a couple of times but I was so nice about that he didn't know what the hell was going on. Plus I hung out this weekend HARD w/o including, inviting, acknowledging, or missing him, so he is so damn confused.

The point! Right! Okay so I pulled the get off the phone within five minutes moves on him Monday while I was at work. He texted me all freakin' day after that. It was nonchalant texts but obvious texts to see what it was that I was doing that kept me from talking to him. He has been in heavy contact lately. Even used the word marriage and my name in the same sentence last night...:blush:...I damn near pee'd on myself.
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My SO/EX SO took me on a date last night! Darn it these Rules are the bomb.com. I love it! We went to dinner and we had SUCH a good time. It was so chill. But the whole time I was thinking in my head "don't give him none girl. Don't do it!"....Since this is someone that I have been with for 3 years it has been SO HARD to keep the goodies away but since we are going through so much, I choose not to give in to the temptation. But last night?? I was ready! But I knew that in order to get my point across, I had to be strong! It was so hard because he looked delicious! I think he did that on purpose. But anyway, on the ride home I was still trying to figure out how to get out of doing the do with him. But to my surprise he dropped me off, walked me upstairs to my apartment, AND LEFT! He is treating me so different. He was always good to me but now he is doing things to impress or make me smile. So cute...
 
weaveologist said:
My SO/EX SO took me on a date last night! Darn it these Rules are the bomb.com. I love it! We went to dinner and we had SUCH a good time. It was so chill. But the whole time I was thinking in my head "don't give him none girl. Don't do it!"....Since this is someone that I have been with for 3 years it has been SO HARD to keep the goodies away but since we are going through so much, I choose not to give in to the temptation. But last night?? I was ready! But I knew that in order to get my point across, I had to be strong! It was so hard because he looked delicious! I think he did that on purpose. But anyway, on the ride home I was still trying to figure out how to get out of doing the do with him. But to my surprise he dropped me off, walked me upstairs to my apartment, AND LEFT! He is treating me so different. He was always good to me but now he is doing things to impress or make me smile. So cute...
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Way to go! :up:

I find that when we carry ourselves with respect, people in turn (guys included) tend to respect us more as well. He knows that now he has to be ON POINT. Maybe the fact that you weren't drooling all over him and acting desperate told him that he had better be on his best behavior and try to impress you because he still has something to prove.

Women who fawn all over a guy and make it so easy for them are missing half of the fun! ;) There's a MUCH bigger difference when a guy feels like he has something to prove to you, rather than: "Oh, I know I got her". Trust me! It's a different vibe!

I noticed this change in behavior too even with my guy friend when I stopped falling all over him. He then had to step up his game! I'm acting this way towards ALL guys now. Not just the guy friend. :yep: I still dont' have a boyfriend yet :( , but I'm still working on just having fun and living my life!

I'm almost to the end of my 3-month "trial period" with "The Rules", and I think I want to continue to go the full 6-months! :grin:
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Way to go! :up:

I find that when we carry ourselves with respect, people in turn (guys included) tend to respect us more as well. He knows that now he has to be ON POINT. Maybe the fact that you weren't drooling all over him and acting desperate told him that he had better be on his best behavior and try to impress you because he still has something to prove.

Women who fawn all over a guy and make it so easy for them are missing half of the fun! ;) There's a MUCH bigger difference when a guy feels like he has something to prove to you, rather than: "Oh, I know I got her". Trust me! It's a different vibe!

I noticed this change in behavior too even with my guy friend when I stopped falling all over him. He then had to step up his game! I'm acting this way towards ALL guys now. Not just the guy friend. :yep: I still dont' have a boyfriend yet :( , but I'm still working on just having fun and living my life!

I'm almost to the end of my 3-month "trial period" with "The Rules", and I think I want to continue to go the full 6-months! :grin:
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I forgot to add that he also said "There is something different about you. You're glowing. Something is different". I wanted to say "Cuz I'm happy with just me fool!"...But I just let him wonder.
 
Back to the drawing board. The uy I was talking to, I do't see us going anywhere. He doesn't make any sparks fly, our convo is jsut ok. He's very very intellectual like me so we naturally talk about a lot, but it's not in depth. It also seems as if he's not that interested in me. He compliments but it's irregular. He's already kinda distant. I learned I do NOT like shy men. I like extroverts like me. He's only interested in talking when hinting about how he wants to lost his virginity *sigh*...to me. Soo I told him I will never do such and we need to take some steps back. I said it in a kinda harsh but stern way to show him that I wasn't joking and what my true intentions were. I got scared cuz I was sure he'd never call me again (I'm not good with confrontations) and I really like the guy as a friend. He's very loyal and caring, but he's not for me. He was a complete gentleman about his behavior. He apologized for his actions and told me that he understands my intentions and will not overstep them. So we're still friends, and I didn'tcontinue talking to him as a boyfriend for fear that "I won't find another man" to talk to. I feel good.
 
My SO and I have come to a tragic and devasting end!!!!!!!!...Okay its not that dramatic but we ova!! The Rules worked for a minute, but if its over, its just over and nothing you can do about it.

However, the Rules do help you get over the break up with a smile on your face and with a f*$k 'em dress on!
 
I don't know about the other ladies, but at this point of my life, I am targeting my own heart. I want to improve different aspects of my life and state of mind so that when I am presented to my husband, I am ready. And if being single is what God has for me, I will then be ready to live happily as a single woman.

Since I am so fresh out of a relationship that's been all I've known for so long, I can't say that I am targeting any parts of a man right now.

I can only say that I am targeting being content and I have been successful in accomplishing that goal as I weed out what is best for me. The Rules have helped me be content only because its a reminder of what and how a woman should be treated. So often times women get so deep involved in the natural state of loving him that we forget our own needs. I know that was my problem. Following the Rules also helps men see your worth and they then have a decision to make; whether they are worthy of you or can't hang. As I started to apply the Rules, my recent ex often times said that I was "too good for him" and couldn't believe that I was even with him.

I don't live and die by the Rules, but they do help weed out the good from the bad and the secure from the insecure.

I wouldn't say my ex was bad or good, but if two people aren't meant, they just aren't. Being a newly found "Rules Girl" I can now deal with that without crying. :yep:
 
I bought this book today after skimming through this thread. Good stuff in here.

I've just skimmed through it and it reminds me of the book "He's Just Not That Into You".

Lemme get to reading!
 
Wow, this is the longest I've gone without catching the lonely bug. I don't know what it is about The Rules, but for some reason I'm not upset about still being single, I'm actually enjoying it.

I know what kind of guy I want, and until he comes around, I'm just fine with myself.

Hope you ladies are okay. Any other updates?
 
Je Ne Sais Quoi said:
I picked up my books and will begin reading tonight :)
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Good for you! :up: ;)

redRiot said:
Wow, this is the longest I've gone without catching the lonely bug. I don't know what it is about The Rules, but for some reason I'm not upset about still being single, I'm actually enjoying it.

I know what kind of guy I want, and until he comes around, I'm just fine with myself.

Hope you ladies are okay. Any other updates?
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Unfortunately, there aren't any real "mind-boggling" updates on my end. At least, nothing that really needs jotting down. But anyway, for what it's worth, here it goes....

I went to this party and met this guy just this past weekend. He was really nice, and we struck up a conversation. I have to admit, I broke one of "the Rules" and went and sat next to him so that we could end up talking (heyyyy...he was cute! :giggle: ). :look: But anyway, we ended up having a NICE conversation, and even shared a lot in common, but at the end of the night he didn't ask me for my number. :( He WAS a little on the "shy" side I have to admit (I seem to attract the "shy type" for some reason... It's probably because I'm more outgoing I guess :ohwell:) but THANKS to "The Rules", I knew better than to give him my number, or ask for his. :nono:

NOPE! I just left in a breezy happy mood! These days, if I meet a guy, have a nice conversation with him, and by the end of the night he STILL doesn't ask for my phone number or even e-mail address, now days I'll just assume that he's "taken", or really interested in someone else right now. It may not mean he's not attracted to me, but just that he's involved with someone else right now. No biggie!

Either that, or he's just REALLY not interested at ALL. But it's very hard to find a guy who's willing to talk and chat you up without ANY interest on his part. Usually, there's interest on a man's part, but if he's not "taking the bait", it's usually because he has a gf already, or he's interested in someone else.

As far as the "guy friend" goes....
He's been showing more and more "signs" (I guess) that he probably likes me a little more than he lets on these days (ie. calling and checking up on me, staring at me from afar, coming up and talking to me more these days, seeming more interested in my life and asking me more questions in general, etc.), but he's STILL not making any MOVES! :wallbash: I'm not stressing on it though, because I know he's really interested in another girl right now. All I can do is continue to be my FUN, friendly, flirty, EASY-going fabulous self! I'm telling you, the transformation is WONDERFUL!!! Now that I've been getting more rest, taking a little better care of myself, and am not anxious about the guy friend and guys in general, people all over have been coming up to me telling me that I'm "glowing", or that I seem so "bright"! :giggle: I swear, people have been wanting to know what's been going on with me because I seem so happy and "different". Going on a week vacation out of town helped tremendously also! ;)

Ahhh yes..."the Rules" are great! :up:

I DO feel that it's better to just live your life, have fun, and continue to be HAPPY whether you have a man or not! Because if you're happy while you're single, that's more of a guarantee that you'll be happy when you're "attached" as well. ;)
 
I don't have anything major to update - I enjoyed my holdiays spending time with family and friends!

Did get two text messages from ex's wishing me "Merry Christmas" and later "Happy New Years"........the old me would have got all sentimental about them reaching out (and sent a open-ended reply).....but the new "Rules" me realized that it was just a TEXT MESSAGE!

January is actually filling up with social events - dinners, happy hours and the inaugural stuff - so I'll keep you posted!
 
I haven't visited this thread in a while but I wanted to share a quick story about me breaking the rules.

I dated a guy briefly this past summer but it didn't quite work out because neither one of us was emotionally ready to date anyone because we're still healing from previous relationships. We're still friends (by default I guess) and we talk maybe a few times month. However, I can tell that we both still have a romantic interest in one another

He called one day and as we were chatting he mentioned being hungry and that he was going to pick up some food on the way home. We were discussing his options and then he mentioned an eat-in type restaurant that he had taste for. He asked me had I eaten and I said no. He asked if I wanted to join him and I said yes. So he swung by to pick me up.

I know this is against the rules but I didn't care. We had a great time at dinner and I have no regrets. But, I was thinking about the rules the entire time. I even had to laugh to myself for feeling a little guilty. Anywho, as I'm thinking about how I broke the rules he looked at me and thanked me for being spontaneous and joining him for dinner. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I didn't tell him what I was laughing about I just said thanks for asking, etc.

I said all that to say that I'm all for the rules but I think its okay to break the rules sometimes to be a little spontaneous. This isn't directed to anyone. I just wanted to share.
 
princessnad said:
Bunny, how was lawyer dude?
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Okay, somehow, I missed this!

He was okay. The date was great in terms of him being a gentleman, so that was good.

The issues are that he's very self-conscious about his height (being a short guy) and he talks about it a LOT... so something that really wasn't an issue for me is now an issue and I'm turned off by his lack of confidence.

He's talked about going out again, but it's a lot of "Call me when you're in the area and we can get drinks," stuff. I'm really not feelin' that... not a big drinker (and he's always talking about drinking and partying) and I'd rather us plan another date than do the "Call me when..." thing.

So he's pretty much on the back burner, if he's even on the stove at all!
 
Just checkin in!

I'm on Rule #11 (Always End The Date First)

A lot of people should read this book. Good stuff. People say they don't need it but when you actually sit down and read it and think about your dating history, you realize that you DO need to read this book....if not just to get some insight and an objective view of what you were doing in the past.

Valentines day is coming.

I wonder how many threads are gonna pop up about women complaining that they didnt get a romantic V-day gift...Hence Rule #12: "Stop Dating Him If He Doesn't Buy You A Romantic Gift For Your B-day Or V-day"
 
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